Do you like other INTPs? (INTPs on this forum don't count)

[Reality is Optional]

I ask this because, while I have had about no interaction with others of our kind, it occurred to be that the INTPs I do have a one-second conversation with I don't particularly like. Or like at all, really. (This excludes anyone in this forum because I don't know any of you, and it's anonymous).

I'm not exactly sure why I don't like them. It may be no other reason than me just being a giant hypocrite, but I'm not sure that's it either.

Does anyone have any ideas as to why I'm like this, and/or does anyone else have this problem or a problem similar to this?

 

[StevenM]

If your only having a one-second conversation with them, it may be particularly likely that you made an inaccurate impression of them.

I know I'm terrible at first impressions. I probably seem pretty dense and boring. In the least, really closed off from any type of social interaction. Then I might try to be accommodating, but it mostly comes out inappropriately.

In my opinion, I think when we are able to properly engage with someone smoothly and naturally, it comes from a place in the mind that we have little conscious control over. We are at the whims of our subconscious. When attempting to take over it consciously, it all breaks down.

 

[mooncrater]

I think INTPs should, at a somewhat early age, do some kind of customer service role for at least a year or so. I worked at Dairy Queen for my first job, and I was quickly fired for being weird and socially awkward. Two years later, I worked in a call center, and I found that I could develop verbal task-oriented skills faster than almost anyone, and my performance was top-notch. Take me off the phone and I'm having all sorts of trouble reading the social situation. I was fired for repeatedly coming in late.

I kept doing these sort of roles over the years, and now I am adept at reading the social situation and acting like quite the gentleman. Couple this with some classical literary well-spokenness, and now I can make great gentlemanly impressions on people. It's fun to have the social upper-hand sometimes. It is exhausting to keep it up, so over time my crass words (for my own amusement's sake) take over.

Experiment using a little polite formality. It has structure - it can be developed like any other skill, so it's something that INTPs can analyze, understand, and master. Just use it in the polite, formal situations, or you'll be inappropriate.

 

[nearfantastica]

I know several INTPs and quite like all of them. As someone who's always felt a bit isolated it's sort of reassuring to know people who think and see things similarly to yourself. I'm probably lucky to be relatively close to as many IxTPs as I am (which off the top of my head is ~8).

But every INTP I know is very different. Similar at the core with their views of the world and process of thinking, but still distinctly different. And I'm probably only surprised by that because on internet forums everyone tends to portray themselves as the epitome of a stereotypical INTP.

My favourite thing about fellow INTPs is that you never have to explain yourself. And unlike most people they are completely on board with your sense of humour.

 

[Anktark]

When you say "like other INTPs", do you mean the person, their ideas (or the manner in which they express them) or interactions with them?

 

[ddspada]

I know three other INTPs. I get along great with two of them and only OK with the third, though I haven't had the chance to interact with him very closely yet.

 

[Oddity]

In my opinion, I think when we are able to properly engage with someone smoothly and naturally, it comes from a place in the mind that we have little conscious control over. We are at the whims of our subconscious. When attempting to take over it consciously, it all breaks down.

Yes, when we show our Ne (Fe would probably help too). The problem is being comfortable enough that I can allow my unconscious processes to take over while I'm around other people, which is currently impossible...

I think INTPs should, at a somewhat early age, do some kind of customer service role for at least a year or so. I worked at Dairy Queen for my first job, and I was quickly fired for being weird and socially awkward. Two years later, I worked in a call center, and I found that I could develop verbal task-oriented skills faster than almost anyone, and my performance was top-notch. Take me off the phone and I'm having all sorts of trouble reading the social situation. I was fired for repeatedly coming in late.

I kept doing these sort of roles over the years, and now I am adept at reading the social situation and acting like quite the gentleman.

Well, what did you do in the jobs where you didn't get fired for being weird and socially awkward?

I'd also like to hear about how that firing happened. I'm surprised I've managed to hold my fast food job for almost 1.5 years and still be a reclusive shut-in without being fired. Although I was told I need to be friendlier before they started putting me in the kitchen.

 

[StevenM]

Yes, when we show our Ne (Fe would probably help too). The problem is being comfortable enough that I can allow my unconscious processes to take over while I'm around other people, which is currently impossible...

Sorry, now I disagree with what I said earlier. I now think that maybe the feeling of being comfortable may come from the unconscious, and various other things, but there is still a good degree of conscious decision making as well.

My bad.

 

[vladmirus]

My best buddy is an INTP, somehow (in the face of rather rough times)(for both of us) we are still friends and have the best, most satisfying conversations . I don't really know another INTP though.

 

[Direwolf]

I tend to get along with or at worst tolerate most people so i dont see why i wouldnt an intp. Then again intps are not most people so i suppose theres that to consider.

 

[vladmirus]

I tend to get along with or at worst tolerate most people so i dont see why i wouldnt an intp. Then again intps are not most people so i suppose theres that to consider.

Theoretically, the stats (never trust those things) say 3% of people have the INTP personality type. So three in every hundred should be one of us, so either we have met a bunch of them without realising it, or the stats are there to taunt us!

 

[Yellow]

I've only met three, but two were crazy, reclusive incarnations of Da Blob (if anyone remembers him) and I quickly gave up all contact with each them out of sheer frustration. The third is one of my husband's friends and we get along very well.

 

[Mithrandir]

My sister's an INTP. She's a'ight.

 

[redbaron]

My fiance's an INTP so I suppose I do.

I'm not an INTP though.

 

[peoplesuck]

Theoretically, the stats (never trust those things) say 3% of people have the INTP personality type. So three in every hundred should be one of us, so either we have met a bunch of them without realising it, or the stats are there to taunt us!

Intps are less likely to leave their house, therefore..

 

[PmjPmj]

I'm not an INTP, and I don't know any 'real' INTPs, but online I find you to be inoffensive. Warm, even.

The only issue I occasionally have is that I find your dominant Ti to be somewhat impenetrable, though that's obviously more to do with my own Ti development. I often prefer the 'cut the BS' approach of Te; Ti can be a bit convoluted. It sometimes seems as though you enjoy it a bit too much. Self-fellation, if you will.

 

[Fukyo]

My fiance's an INTP so I suppose I do.

I'm not an INTP though.

If any more forum couples start getting married I'm going to start cutting myself.

 

[Pyropyro]

I get along with INTP's IRL. I got two confirmed ones as friends and we get along just fine.

 

[Cherry Cola]

I've never not gotten along with an INTP thus far. Very easy people to get along with.

 

[Mordecai]

Only recently did I perform a personality test, and once I found my personality type I practically forced all my friends to take the test as well. Those who refused I just analyzed myself. Turns out, the majority of my closest friends are either INTJs or INTPs, with the exception of one, who is and ENFP. In conclusion, yeah, I like other INTPs. I love being intellectually challenged by someone who is just as interested in random topics as I am.

 

[scorpiomover]

Don't recall meeting one in real life.

 

[TheManBeyond]

I remember I had a friend who had some weird mental illness. He wasn't retarded but he was kinda way too naive. I guess some kind of autism I don't know about that stuff. I remember professors thanking me for being with him becuz he never had had friends. I was like, I'm quite antisocial and he's funny in a way so it has nothing to do with nursing Maria Teresa de Calcutta thing.
At least i could trust him. Probably an intp.

 

[Hadoblado]

They're a tad dull at times if you don't share interests. Shut up about your fucking computer specs right?

 

[Mothwhisperer]

Two of my three friends are INTP, I get on great with them on the most part, we laugh a lot. It's just in a sort of distanced way (despite them being the human beings closest to me, other than my girlfriend, I don't feel like we talk much about meaningful things - it's all just playful banter).

 

[Oddity]

I've only met three, but two were crazy, reclusive incarnations of Da Blob (if anyone remembers him) and I quickly gave up all contact with each them out of sheer frustration. The third is one of my husband's friends and we get along very well.

Source? I can only find some Wii game called "de blob".

 

[Architect]

I have one INTP long term friend and my wife has one. I like them both, but it's frustrating and illuminating to see your own bad habits reflected in them. Mainly tendency to lecture and inability to see new possibilities.

 

[Cherry Cola]

Eh never seen tendency to lecture as an INTP trait. At least not unless asked to. It's an Aspie tendency for sure, and a Je one as well.

 

[Architect]

Eh never seen tendency to lecture as an INTP trait. At least not unless asked to. It's an Aspie tendency for sure, and a Je one as well.

The INTP female friend of my wife's doesn't do this, but both I and my friend do. It's not lecturing per-se but the process of figuring out what we think. I've read about it in the profiles, we like to converse to work out some theory or idea we're on. Which is fine, we do it here on this forum and such, the only issue is when the INTP isn't ... something, being socially nuanced enough to make it a conversation rather than more of a one way lecture.

My friend would talk about some idea, I'd try to get two words in but it seems that most of the time he'd cut me off. Further he's rather caught in a Ti-Si thing - he's stuck in "old school engineering" and doesn't think AI, voice/image recognition is going anywhere (heck he thinks Java and .NET are just slow pigs, end of story.) On the last point he won't recognize that he's just using old computers. I have learned how to debate him though, he has backed down on many of these ideas.

Anyhow maybe it's not common but it can happen, I've done it with my wife at times.

 

[Cherry Cola]

I think males are a lot more prone to holding monologues like that about some specific subject and it's a lot more socially accepted for them to do it, if a woman does it people feel challenged and think she's arrogant.

But, now I see what you mean, what you're talking about is a part exploratory lecture serving both the lecturer and the person being lectured during which Ne is being actively used, so it's not the same thing as a Je lecture. Or? How would you distinguish it from the kind of monologue you can get from an INTJ who's trying to win you over?

 

[Brontosaurie]

architect just thinks everyone besides himself is stupid. nothing to do with typology. also hypocrisy red alert yet again. this a joke?

 

[Cherry Cola]

Not again lol. This is old.

 

[Brontosaurie]

so is global warming

 

[Cherry Cola]

Anyhow maybe it's not common but it can happen, I've done it with my wife at times.

If it's not common it's not worth calling it an INTP thing unless it can be specified so that it clearly is one, and not just a regular behavorial deviancy from expected type behavior. Such anomalies are better kept outside the realm of MBTI for the sake of preserving clarity.

If we use MBTI to describe relatively rare behavior that cannot be defined so that it is attributed to a specific type or a specific combination of functions the system is diluted, whereby the risk of misattributions and mixups increases; if we call lecturing an INTP tendency without defining it further, we risk people mistaking INTJs for INTPs and likewise.

 

[Architect]

If it's not common it's not worth calling it an INTP thing unless it can be specified so that it clearly is one, and not just a regular behavorial deviancy from expected type behavior. Such anomalies are better kept outside the realm of MBTI for the sake of preserving clarity.

I don't have links but have seen it in at least two profiles of the type, which would indicate that it's worth including. And at that I'm not sure you can make the distinction between behavioral deviancy and Type. Type is defined as behavioral deviancy - all the types deviate from each other.

Of course all types are capable and sometimes demonstrate all or many behaviors too, which highlights that type is a motivator. The only commonalities are the trivial ones like "Everybody eats" and so on.

Or? How would you distinguish it from the kind of monologue you can get from an INTJ who's trying to win you over?

It's a problem when it becomes a monolog. I'm not saying that's always the case, for me on occasion I'll get frustrated with her many Ni interruptions which is when this come out. With my friend I don't know what the issue is.

I agree that the INTJ trying to win you over thing is obnoxious - worse is when they're arrogant on top of it and just assume they're right, and are then informing you of how they have the answer. Hilariously they often are completely wrong in this state, but you can't get through to them.

 

[Absurdity]

My fiance's an INTP so I suppose I do.

I'm not an INTP though.

Source? I can only find some Wii game called "de blob".

Yeah that's him. Fuck that guy.

 

[redbaron]

I-I love you too.

 

[Oddity]

I have one INTP long term friend and my wife has one. I like them both, but it's frustrating and illuminating to see your own bad habits reflected in them. Mainly tendency to lecture and inability to see new possibilities.

TJ Things

 

[J-man]

I'm not sure if I like people. I'm attracted to people, including INTPs. So maybe that counts.

Though the INTPs I meet usually seem very sensitive or weak. That part disgusts me. I hate to see the weaknesses that I share with them, and of course those weaknesses are going to be more obvious to another INTP. So maybe that's why you don't care for INTPs, RiO.

I mean, they always seem to be seeking validation, or else trying to avoid rejection or conflict. If that doesn't disgust non-INTPs, it probably at least irritates them.

 

[cheese]

I've definitely noticed the lecturing Archie's talking about. Maybe 'lecturing' is too strong a word and brings to mind TJ style - but INTPs definitely get caught up in what they're thinking, and if they happen to be talking at the same time it can go on for a while, like a ramble. If they're feeling confident about what they think or in a NeFe mood, it's an energetic ramble. It's more lecture-y in tone if they're correcting something someone else thinks (which also happens a lot - that whole need for precision).

 

[Yellow]

Source? I can only find some Wii game called "de blob".

Da Blob. I think he was banned while I was on one of my lengthy sabbaticals from the forum. As I recall, he was intelligent, articulate, and generally polite, but he was so aggressive with his opinions that countless threads were utterly doomed before they were even posted. He had this unnatural knack for sucking people (myself included) into a downward spiral of pointless arguments. I think it is the least likable thing about INTPs (as an INTP, at least).

I'm not one of those people who freaks out when someone is wrong on the internet. I can dodge and weave around the insane ramblings or fallacious arguments of just about every person I encounter in person or online, but there is something about hearing it from and INTP that makes something snap in my head. Maybe it's the familiar pattern of thought, maybe it's the construction of the argument. I've even mused that perhaps I sense a kindred and find myself appalled by the betrayal. But no matter the reason, from INTPs, that kind of craziness is like a sucker-punch, and it takes some level of restraint on my part to just walk away from the debate.

 

[Brontosaurie]

TJ Things

yup.

also drenth is full of shit. least self-challenging, most empirically detached, sitting around doing basic jung paint-by-numbers occasionally getting a number wrong and reliably producing absolutely zero insight.

 

[Cherry Cola]

He does seem very overrated, not sure what's so good about him.

 

[Architect]

TJ Things

Maybe, I attribute the inability to see new things not enough Ne and too much Si at least. 'Lecturing' (whatever word you want) is lack of Fe.

He does seem very overrated, not sure what's so good about him.

Maybe you'd have to be an INTP. I found his profiles and thoughts of the INTP experience the most spot on. But I agree there's much he has to learn still.

Separately, Dr Mike of NFGeeks has mentioned in a video (not worth digging up, it was a brief bit while discussing another topic) that he believes INTP's to be the most empathic, or most humane of the NT's. He laughs about the INTJ and then says, quietly and as an aside "they have no hope". He thinks the INTP is reaching, and at least trying, no doubt he means due to that Fe inferior.

Which I'd agree with the INTJ and ENTJ, but I think he's giving the ENTP a short shrift.

 

[Cherry Cola]

I think both ENTPs and INTPs have some innocent childlike way of relating to other people. Or maybe I'm just kidding myself. Just get those vibes sometimes.

 

[Architect]

I think both ENTPs and INTPs have some innocent childlike way of relating to other people. Or maybe I'm just kidding myself. Just get those vibes sometimes.

I agree, it's because of the shadowy Fe in the stack, inferior (INTP) and tertiary (ENTP). The other two have Fi which is obviously self focused "oh crap you hurt my feelings!", where Fe is more like "oh crap I hurt your feelings!".

ENTP's also carry a entourage along with them, both because Fe is higher and the dominant E. I knew one in grad school that kept a litter of undergraduates with him. ENFP's do this even more, Dr Mike surely created NFGeeks because having his students wasn't enough.

 

[scorpiomover]

inability to see new possibilities.

I would associated that with a Sensor, not anyone with Ne. One just has to look at this site, and see the wild new possible ideas that INTPs jump on with gusto here.

Is there some more specific example that you're thinking of, that could make the issue clearer?

 

[Bijection]

I too find TJs to be way too much "I thought about this before, I studied these matters, so I know what I'm talking about, don't complain, shut up with tour objections and listen to me" while talking about "their" thing.

Sometimes even "don't object 'cause I know tour objections make sense and I may start doubting myself and I don't want to, you'll spoil my ego and my self-esteem".

Yet while I generally like talking with other INTPs, I often find that I don't like spending too much time with them 'cause we'll change topic so quickly and so many times we really won't go anywhere at all. With most INTPs I know. Actually, I find that i work well with INTJs. They provide a strong and stable topic, so I stay focused, and they like talking to me 'cause they know I am open to whatever they may say and I'll listen carefully while making clever observations which may help them understand such topic in a more wide and general view.

 

[Architect]

I would associated that with a Sensor, not anyone with Ne. One just has to look at this site, and see the wild new possible ideas that INTPs jump on with gusto here.

Is there some more specific example that you're thinking of, that could make the issue clearer?

Yes S types, in particular Si you get with the SJ's are resistant to change. Se being experiential is usually open to new experiences, if not ideas at least. Si is more conservative and tied to the past, and INTP's have it in their tertiary. However as Drenth has noted Si is more past bound when in the first two positions, as for SJ's. In the third spot it is more informational, and this is how it can trip INTP's up (see below)

I've been thinking about Si a lot. Here's what I've pieced together as to how it operates

1. Si tends to store information, because it's a focused sensory perception, unlike Se which takes it all in. Se is impressionic, being extraverted where Si is narrow and intensivly focusing on reality. Our brains tend to store this kind of thing which is why Si will be tradition bound when in the dominant, or past informational when in the teritary.
2. Si also focuses inward so is more aware of inward bodily sensations. Si's tend to be able to control their eating (sensing when they're full), whereas a Se will want to experience it all and have a hard time putting the fork down.
3. Si tends to be conservative, again unlike Se which is expansive. Strong Si types tend to be cheapskates, whereas strong Se types tend to be spendthrifts. Again this gets to the conservative/conserving nature of focused sensory intake.

Examples ...

1. In myself and my friend I've seen the tendency to be unembracing of new technology. My friend for example will cite examples from his past where he used, say voice recognition and how it didn't work. This is Si bringing up past experience. The problem is that he's not realizing that his reference is from years ago - it's gotten better. *
2. My INTP son is very careful with what he eats, and will actually throw up if he gets too much. I was this way, but by being raised with a bunch of Se dominants I got pushed around. Likewise the Si types I know love to say "everything in moderation".
3. My ISFJ sister in law doesn't spend money on herself. Nothing practically, no hobbies or interests to soak up excess cash. Likewise my ISTJ coworker, they both have loads of money but won't take up hobbies. My sister in law saved the bed she used as a child and now one of her kids is using it. This is a 20 year old bed.

* This is an example you were looking for. He's open to new ideas (Ne), but when he draws too much on past experience (Si) is where it can go wrong.

 

[ASquare183]

Some INTPs I've known are exceptionally rude, and they've taught me a lot about my own characteristics as an INTP. Most of them, however, I can easily relate too, although they tend to be socially uninviting.