Do you have pervasive doubt about yourself?

[Antediluvian]

I think the term "pervasive doubt" characterizes me quite well, I question my abilities constantly. Does anyone else do the same?

EDIT: Guess I'm the only one :P

 

[BigApplePi]

Does anyone else do the same?

If I asked myself, "would I be good playing handball", I would not stop doubting. I have never played or even tried handball.

If someone asked me, "could I make a new friend in the next month", no way I could answer for sure. "Ask me in two months", I'd say.

If I wondered if you liked me, I'd carry on with doubts ... until I got a lot more feedback.

If I wondered if I'd pass the next test, I'd say that was a good thing. It might help me overcome the belief I'd be taken care of without any effort.

 

[Antediluvian]

Thanks for the response, and for providing concrete examples. I think a certain amount of doubt is healthy and normal, but I've observed myself over the years and I seem to lack the necessary aplomb to be successful in life. A little confidence goes a long way, as the saying goes.

I suppose I should ask, do you view your level of doubt as normal?

 

[BigApplePi]

I suppose I should ask, do you view your level of doubt as normal?

I would be pleased to answer if the question registered with me. That could be why I gave such specific examples. I'm going to guess you mean some generalized feeling, not a logical everything. For example, do you doubt you will wake up to start a new day? I doubt it, lol.

I will turn the question back to you. Can YOU name some specific areas where you doubt?

Later: let me answer your Q anyway. I have a certain measure of self-confidence. That would be where in my opinion I can rely on myself. The outside world I can't control? Well I guess it depends on how interested I am. If I have a pressing need to predict, then I have to doubt. Anxiety about the future is different though. If I'm anxious about something, I suppose doubt is involved. Not sure how.

 

[Antediluvian]

Specific areas where I doubt myself? Socially, academically (in terms of raw performance that others can view and measure), and general competency. The last one was why I had trepidation in transferring to a different department in my former job, I felt I would screw up too profoundly. As for school, I'm doing relatively fine but I'm only taking online classes.

But yeah, as you said my sense of doubt is more generalized than anything, in terms of my own abilities. I suppose I don't waste an excessive amount of time debating the merits of other people. On the other hand, I don't always trust my intuition when it comes to reading social intentions.

It's all just a perpetual sense of confusion.

 

[BigApplePi]

Specific areas where I doubt myself? Socially, academically (in terms of raw performance that others can view and measure), and general competency. The last one was why I had trepidation in transferring to a different department in my former job, I felt I would screw up too profoundly. As for school, I'm doing relatively fine but I'm only taking online classes.

But yeah, as you said my sense of doubt is more generalized than anything, in terms of my own abilities. I suppose I don't waste an excessive amount of time debating the merits of other people. On the other hand, I don't always trust my intuition when it comes to reading social intentions.

It's all just a perpetual sense of confusion.

That makes sense. Just to check it out further it would be nice to hear from more people in this forum. Never can tell, lol.

There is one thing I forgot. Whenever something new is addressed, there are loads of unknowns. (I mean new in not just specific senses but in a broad sense.) There unknowns give rise to doubts about how to position things. As one accumulates knowledge, one settles down. I haven't been in school for decades (except an occasional adult course), so I have largely settled lots of my positions in life. (Not all though because I keep going).

This is all natural and good. Some students have no doubts. Maybe they have a thorough knowledge of their interests backed up by someone who has encouraged them, yet this could point them in a too narrow direction. People are different.

Thought: one can center one's interest around:
(1) what one likes
(2) what one is good at

These two help decide, but they interact with each other. That means a process which can't be settled just like that. JMHO.

I created a new thread I Doubt It

 

[CBadfeather]

If I asked myself, "would I be good playing handball", I would not stop doubting. I have never played or even tried handball.

lol I've done this. I decided that it was an ultra 'S' type person's sport and talked myself out of it.

I can't tell if this doubting process is a good or bad thing. Sometimes people will say things or do stupid things and inside I think "DO THESE FOOLS QUESTION THEMSELVES EVER?"

 

[lucky12]

But yeah, as you said my sense of doubt is more generalized than anything, in terms of my own abilities. I suppose I don't waste an excessive amount of time debating the merits of other people. On the other hand, I don't always trust my intuition when it comes to reading social intentions.

I pity the fool(s) who waste excessive amounts of time debating the merits of other people. Usually it is implanted into my mind by others speaking of it.

As far as social intentions and doubting.. Keep your doubts about you, they are true and false. After all, you must doubt the worth of such things.

I doubt my doubt. Yo dawg, I heard you doubt so I doubted it to make you doubt.

 

[Chaucerinthewoods]

If you do not doubt that you have doubts, then you have no doubt.

 

[BigApplePi]

I pity the fool(s) who waste excessive amounts of time debating the merits of other people.

If you live in a democracy, can I buy your vote?

I doubt my doubt. Yo dawg, I heard you doubt so I doubted it to make you doubt.

I doubt you doubt your doubt and I doubt you doubted just because you imaged you heard him doubt. It could be something else, but I doubt it.

 

[Chaucerinthewoods]

I think, therefore I doubt that I think.

 

[BigApplePi]

If you do not doubt that you have doubts, then you have no doubt.

Somehow I doubt that if you don't have doubts you doubt that you have no doubts about things other than doubting yet one can never be sure about another person.

 

[Dapper Dan]

From typelogic:

A major concern for INTPs is the haunting sense of impending failure. They spend considerable time second-guessing themselves. The open-endedness (from Perceiving) conjoined with the need for competence (NT) is expressed in a sense that one's conclusion may well be met by an equally plausible alternative solution, and that, after all, one may very well have overlooked some critical bit of data. An INTP arguing a point may very well be trying to convince himself as much as his opposition.

So yeah, this is a fairly well-documented INTP trait.

Conventional wisdom says that confidence is inversely proportional to competence. The fact that you doubt yourself means that you are probably more competent than you think.

 

[Antediluvian]

I see what you mean, but doubt can also spring up because of past failures (that aren't counter-balanced by successes, due to general lack of exposure, etc). I suppose I'm looking more to relate rather than for reassurance.

 

[Jennywocky]

A major concern for INTPs is the haunting sense of impending failure. They spend considerable time second-guessing themselves. The open-endedness (from Perceiving) conjoined with the need for competence (NT) is expressed in a sense that one's conclusion may well be met by an equally plausible alternative solution, and that, after all, one may very well have overlooked some critical bit of data. An INTP arguing a point may very well be trying to convince himself as much as his opposition.

I see what you mean, but doubt can also spring up because of past failures (that aren't counter-balanced by successes, due to general lack of exposure, etc).

Agree with both.

But I also know I'm my own worst enemy and sometimes bail when my level of competence is actually higher than those that continue to do the work. I basically have had to try and recalibrate / get a better true assessment of my actual performance.

And yes, it is something that took me a lot of experience to figure out. I also fought the mind-shift because I felt like it was denying the truth that there were gray areas i could never see into and didn't feel comfortable trusting myself. it was a period of some years to move into a place where i could accept the ambiguity and yet feel comfortable moving forward with my "best guess" and also having accumulated enough experience and feedback from others to realize I was as competent or more than many others who always acted very confident.

 

[spazn]

This is an interesting read.

@Antediluvian; To appease your post's purpose, I can relate to what you feel in constantly questioning the validity and quality of your actions.

It's an obstacle that is very hard to leap over as, in my instance, I have formed many bad habits in my brain to completely avoid doing tasks that will give me the answer to my doubts in myself. If I can't produce an answer then the doubt will always be there until it gets its answer....that's how I see it anyways.

 

[lucky12]

Agree with both.

But I also know I'm my own worst enemy and sometimes bail when my level of competence is actually higher than those that continue to do the work. I basically have had to try and recalibrate / get a better true assessment of my actual performance.

And yes, it is something that took me a lot of experience to figure out. I also fought the mind-shift because I felt like it was denying the truth that there were gray areas i could never see into and didn't feel comfortable trusting myself. it was a period of some years to move into a place where i could accept the ambiguity and yet feel comfortable moving forward with my "best guess" and also having accumulated enough experience and feedback from others to realize I was as competent or more than many others who always acted very confident.

I've experienced a lot of this in the past 4 years of my life. I think I'm starting to come around. At it's worst point I started to "doubt" myself on many things, slowly I proved to myself that none of it was relevant.

Big delicious apple pi, I suppose you could buy my vote if you made a reasonable proposition :P

 

[Question Authority]

Doubt...? I definitely have it. The problem is that I recently decided that doubt was what was holding me back, and tried to question the cause of my doubt, whenever I had it. That did not work out as planned. I could never tell whether I was overthinking everything, or whether I was not thinking deeply enough, which lead me to doubt more, since not only was I doubting the first outcome (i.e. I must be a terrible athlete) but I began to doubt the reasoning behind it (well, am I really a bad athlete, or have I just never really tried long enough to get good at it?)

This gets especially irritating in my love life. I am currently at a point where I am over thinking everything. At first I thought she liked me, but then I began to overthink that, and doubt myself. But as that grew to become my true belief, I thought back to the reasons I thought she liked me in the first place, and I began to doubt my doubt. And repeat ad infinatum.

 

[Jah]

I'll join this club.

 

[Iamnotbutter]

I feel like I question everything.
I'm always second guessing myself on what I know or what I should know.bleh
Always thinking about ' Am I doing to wrong or Am I perceiving it wrong'
Makes me very indecisive

 

[Zionoxis]

I generally have a pretty good grasp of where I am in most areas....except women, sometimes I think I may be strong enough to do something..and the next day I am proving I have no idea what I am doing. As for doubting in other areas, it really does matter which area we are referring. I try to take my level of experience and what I have learned into context.

 

[EditorOne]

"A major concern for INTPs is the haunting sense of impending failure. They spend considerable time second-guessing themselves. The open-endedness (from Perceiving) conjoined with the need for competence (NT) is expressed in a sense that one's conclusion may well be met by an equally plausible alternative solution, and that, after all, one may very well have overlooked some critical bit of data. An INTP arguing a point may very well be trying to convince himself as much as his opposition"

And what Jennywocky said, stopping because you think you're not good enough even though you're doing better than others at it, whatever it is:

Here's a rope to hang on to, a calming thought.

"It's not just good, it's good enough."

We had to learn this in my world, as an industry, because we were allowing an institutionalized quest for perfection at any price to interfere with actual success.

You can rephrase it: Is my level of competence sufficient to accomplish whatever the point of this exercise might be? Note that it pulls you away from yourself and attached what you're doing to an outside set of standards. Very good thing.

I think there's a buzzword for what everyone is describing, "freefloating anxiety." Lots of people have it; we internalize it and it can be corrosive.

As for pre-doubting whether I'd be good at raquetball, my logical solution is to say "and does that matter?" and if it does then say to myself "OK, the only way to answer the question is go play raquetball." Eliminating doubt is a good thing, even if it sometimes emerges as a full-time job for an INTP.

 

[Cognisant]

I doubt my existence, I doubt my sanity, and I doubt it matters.

So why doubt myself?

 

[BigApplePi]

Why is it I doubt yer serious?

 

[BigApplePi]

It is the business of those who think to doubt. Thinking means finding a path among choices. Initially each choice, since it is an option, is uncertain. It is the business of those who are alive to act. They have to achieve input and spit out output to keep going. Thinking and acting are opposed. It is the intention of thinking to act. Acting without thinking leads to death. Thinking without acting leads to death. Thinking moves along to acting, but the pace is optional.

Since thinking, feeling and acting form a triumvirate, how do you feel about that?

 

[Antediluvian]

Doubt...? I definitely have it. The problem is that I recently decided that doubt was what was holding me back, and tried to question the cause of my doubt, whenever I had it. That did not work out as planned. I could never tell whether I was overthinking everything, or whether I was not thinking deeply enough, which lead me to doubt more, since not only was I doubting the first outcome (i.e. I must be a terrible athlete) but I began to doubt the reasoning behind it (well, am I really a bad athlete, or have I just never really tried long enough to get good at it?)

This gets especially irritating in my love life. I am currently at a point where I am over thinking everything. At first I thought she liked me, but then I began to overthink that, and doubt myself. But as that grew to become my true belief, I thought back to the reasons I thought she liked me in the first place, and I began to doubt my doubt. And repeat ad infinatum.

Sometimes, questioning doubt just reinforces the habit. Although, someone in another recent thread made an interesting observation: doubt can be a product of lazy thinking. However, confidence can be the end result of the same thing.

Which is more beneficial?, depends on the environment, and evolutionary psychology postulates that doubt and fear can be prime factors in dating success, of course these benefits stop after a period of time.

Betrand Russel had a thought-provoking quote on doubt, but there are some variants floating online and I'd have to dig up the proper one.

 

[Late2theParty]

I would say yes, I doubt myself constantly. It's a vicious cycle of constantly comparing myself against the big picture, love of concepts vs. execution, perfectionism, knowledge of human perception / psychology, and and how they work against me.

Big Picture: I always compare myself against the best. I might be pretty good at something. But in the grande scheme of things I might just be a big fish in a small pond. For example... I know a little bit about a lot of things... like visual design, web design, audio mixing, and video editing, music, composition, playing guitar, martial arts. When the average person sees that, they are like HOLY SHIT YOU ARE AMAZING! But I know I don't know enough to function on a professional level. Compared to people who specialize and do it everyday, I know virtually nothing. If I knew I could walk into an interview right now and apply for a job in one of those categories and get it... then I'd be a lot more confident that I knew what I was doing.

Concepts vs. execution: I hate putting in those 10,000 hours and studying / practicing / working hard. I get pretty bored. It's really hard for me to become an expert at something. Like guitar. I can get pretty technical and I know a lot about theory but I'm pretty bad at actually being able to perform full songs. I just learn lots of pieces of things and I'm always bouncing around. It undermines my confidence when I tell people I've been playing for 12 years and people say "oh play me something" then I'm like "ummm... I don't know too many full pieces" It's like that with a lot of things I do.

them: "oh you went to college for web design? can you make make me a website?"

me: "umm.. I haven't actually made too many full complete websites"

them: ????

Perfectionism: Since I'm always looking at the big picture, I tend to have high standards. What I personally like and get turned on by is stuff that masters do, stuff that's usually way beyond my ability. If I know I can't do that, then I think my stuff is not very good and I just shut down. If it can't be great then I'll do nothing at all.

knowledge of human perception / psychology: I know how limited human perception can be, so I'm never quite sure if I really truly know something. I've caught myself so many times being wrong when I thought I was right, because I made some minor calculation and sometimes I'll just remember things wrong. For instance... I was arguing with somebody about how to play a song. And I had been playing a certain way for YEARS. I was so certain it was the right way and we looked it up and I was utterly wrong. Once I saw the proof I was dumbfounded.

I had no idea how this happened, or how I could have been so wrong. In high school I would study for math tests and be like "wow I aced that". I would get them back and I would get like a c- or a d because I had made so many minor mistakes. I'd multiply two numbers I should have added, or forget to do something trivial... and it would mess up the whole thing. This has happened to me so many times in so many things it's really undermined my ability to be SURE and confident in myself.

Another example is when I was in the kitchen and I was looking for a can opener. I looked everywhere... I thought my roomate had stolen it (because he had taken a few things into his room indefinitely already) so I was about to bust up into his room when I saw it. It was sitting on the counter right in front of my face. How could I have not seen it? I guess i didn't expect it to be there and it just blended into the background. This really made my head hurt, and made me feel really shitty afterwards.

All these things just make me doubt myself constantly. Especially when I feel like I have so much "proof" to doubt myself with. I'm not sure what it would take to fix it.

 

[tepellian]

I doubt, too. I try not to doubt myself so much, but it seems to go in a pattern..

Get question -> dissect question -> respond confidently -> doubt response -> dissect to make sure I got it right -> doubt -> dissect more... and it doesn't usually happen all at once, it tends to take place over time. It can be pretty funny, because a lot of the time the only other people who cared already let the question go a long time ago, and I bring it back up, and they don't know how to respond. It's not easy to satisfy the back of my mind where everything gets questioned. I've kind of learned to allow for tentativity in my answers so I can modify them based on further results.

As far as my mental abilities go, I'm pretty sure I have good ones. But I keep doubting those, too. It freaks me out a little bit when I get wrong answers, or don't see solutions to things I thought I knew already immediately, or miss (or misremember) things I already know, and all that grows on me. It reminds me to doubt my own accuracy. And so I end up slipping in disclaimers in my speech when I'm talking to people: "I think..." "It seems like..."

My writing ends up the way it does (whether it's good or not) because of this process of doubt. I end up revisiting what I have written several times to check for semantic/grammatical accuracy and structural integrity. I also often ghost-type what I think I want to before I even type it, so I can consider whether it is correct, so there's pre-questioning going on before I even have something on the screen (or paper, or whatever). (It probably looks like a nervous tic to any onlookers.)

I used to hate having to write essays while in class. I was good at it, but felt like there was never enough time.

Umm.. going to hit the post button before I undo everything. Oh wait, maybe this makes it more worthwhile:

Sometimes, questioning doubt just reinforces the habit. Although, someone in another recent thread made an interesting observation: doubt can be a product of lazy thinking. However, confidence can be the end result of the same thing.

How would you characterize the lazy-thinking doubt? To me it seems very different in quality, the kind of "doubt" that isn't really an open-ended question about the given assertion. Rather, it seems as simple as using pre-existing assumption/definition to follow an assertion to a simplistic judgement about it. ("You actually wrote that? I doubt it." [assumption based on what their own abilities are, what they think my abilities ought to be, how I speak, etc., take your pick. I would ask the doubter for explanation.]) In contrast, the lazy-thinking confidence would be following that assumption to its conclusion in the opposite direction. Perhaps not such a dichotomy?

I donno.

 

[Antediluvian]

How would you characterize the lazy-thinking doubt? To me it seems very different in quality, the kind of "doubt" that isn't really an open-ended question about the given assertion. Rather, it seems as simple as using pre-existing assumption/definition to follow an assertion to a simplistic judgement about it. ("You actually wrote that? I doubt it." [assumption based on what their own abilities are, what they think my abilities ought to be, how I speak, etc., take your pick. I would ask the doubter for explanation.]) In contrast, the lazy-thinking confidence would be following that assumption to its conclusion in the opposite direction. Perhaps not such a dichotomy?

I donno.

Not sure how else to put it, "lazy thinking" not well-thought out, and to a lesser extent not incorporating the pertinent knowledge needed for a correct thought.

 

[Minuend]

I don't think self-doubt is a characteristic trait of the INTP. It is more of a human trait.

I am trying to remember whether I have a trait or ability that I don't doubt.

I doubt everything all the time. Doing small tasks like translating a letter into English for my mother provides huge barriers as I am filled with thoughts as "is this the closest meaning to the one originally meant?" or "will this translation make the reader misinterpret and think so and so?"

I can have quite elaborate thoughts about how a sentence can be interpreted. That's why I had a very strong tendency to social remorse in my past. I still have if I let myself think to much about previous encounters.

As I have aged, I have become more laidback, but I don't think that voice in the back of my head will ever fade. Which is a good thing to me, because that means I will never be too deeply rooted in one way of life. It gives me flexibility because I never really settle on one perspective, one ability. Well, that's not very accurate, as I will have traits to define myself and give me self-esteem; like any human. But I think it helps me have an open mind.

I think the most predominant question in my head is; Is that really true?

Few things ever are really true.

 

[Katie]

All the time. But I'm kind of like a chiwawa, I think I can do so much things but once I actually try I shock myself at not being able to do it

 

[MsAnthropy_Indefatigably]

I think the term "pervasive doubt" characterizes me quite well, I question my abilities constantly. Does anyone else do the same?

EDIT: Guess I'm the only one :P

I have this, "one-of-these-days-I'll-get-it-all-together" attitude and things just get constantly put off. I can sometimes focus so hard on things, I refuse to do what else is necessary for daily living and such, just to figure out some issue I'm trying to correct or a process I chose to create. I wish I could put that focus on actually changing some things for myself. But there is this other thing I do--where I always start off a statement with "I think,.." or, "...If I'm not mistaken" as if I can't hold steady to a belief or even a piece of mundane information like, Friend: what time is the store closing?, ME: I think, 9? Even if I KNOW it's 9. Like it's going to kill me to stand up for myself and believe in my answer. Anyone else?

 

[Reluctantly]

I have pervasive indecision and reluctance, especially after having done something. Is that doubt? If yes, I guess I do.

 

[Luna]

I have a lot of self doubt, also..probably from overthinking. Nothing good really comes from overanalyzing whether we're good or bad at something.

Sometimes I think I spend more time criticizing/doubting my abilities than I do actually trying to improve them. It's not very sensible but, my awareness of all my faults is one of my faults.

I wish I had some useful advice..but I think instead of doubting if you can do something, be more like the Nike slogan, and "Just Do It".

 

[PTNI]

@Late2theParty

interesting about guitar. i also can play zero full songs. i just pretty much noodle around all the time. playing for 16 years.
i've written a few short songs....find that easier than learning other people's songs.

I do doubt myself a lot all the time....that "haunting sense of impending failure" from the INTP description other people posted already is one of the nuggets which made me realize "whoa this personality stuff is pretty spot-on".

Probably it would be good for us to tamp down our doubts or at least the negative feelings that come from doubt a bit as INTP's. Like when you just realize you made a bad decision or you were wrong, dont' feel that bad about it....or accept your procrastination as pretty much a given. i believe many of us procrastinate a lot.....



"undermines my confidence when I tell people I've been playing for 12 years and people say "oh play me something" then I'm like "ummm... I don't know too many full pieces" It's like that with a lot of things I do. "

 

[Otherside]

Concepts vs. execution: I hate putting in those 10,000 hours and studying / practicing / working hard. I get pretty bored. It's really hard for me to become an expert at something. Like guitar. I can get pretty technical and I know a lot about theory but I'm pretty bad at actually being able to perform full songs. I just learn lots of pieces of things and I'm always bouncing around. It undermines my confidence when I tell people I've been playing for 12 years and people say "oh play me something" then I'm like "ummm... I don't know too many full pieces" It's like that with a lot of things I do.

I related to a lot of other things in your post, but I also play guitar (30 years), and often don't take the time to learn something start-to-finish. I'll usually go after the difficult and/or interesting part, after which I feel satisfied. However, people usually wonder why I can play something so perfectly, but then reach a point where I stop and say "I don't know that part".

"Blackbird" by The Beatles is a good example for me. I can play the verses but don't know the chorus part "Blackbird.. fly".

Not that I couldn't play it if I wanted to, but the intro is the interesting part for me. I also have a terrible singing voice and don't like performing anyway, so I'm satisfied with myself in regard to guitar overall.

 

[DragonsAreForever]

No. I am absolute.

 

[Czech Yes or No]

Yes, unfortunately doubt is constantly nagging me. One of my INTP traits within a sea of INTJ ones.

 

[BigApplePi]

Yes, unfortunately doubt is constantly nagging me. One of my INTP traits within a sea of INTJ ones.

INTJ's can have a lot of confidence because they pick a view. INTP's are blessed and cursed with lots of views plus awareness of something missing. I would accept doubt and bet on likelihood. If that feels too risky, then lay back and wait or go after more input.

I trade stocks. But over the years I've run into situations where I've lost money on very volatile stocks (the "pump and dump" type). The problem was when to sell. I didn't know what to do. I thought there should be a technical answer but was so upset I couldn't see or look for it. Then I came upon a solution. I had been practicing buy or sell all at once. The solution was to sell pieces at a time. This would reduce the risk. Now I'm ready to go out and practice this.

 

[cerebedlam]

No doubt about it...Pervasive doubt throughout.

 

[Jennywocky]

Pervasive doubt. It kind of undermines my performance in any arena, as opposed to those who don't doubt themselves and just leap in and assume they are competent and doing a good job (sometimes erroneously).

 

[Words]

Doubt, I know it has its shortcomings but doubt is great. Doubt is where I source my infinite questioning. When you doubt, you question, you criticize, you analyze. In essence, you Ti.

Pervasive doubt? Even better.

I have it, but I also like to test things out, so I don't become so idle.

 

[redbaron]

I often doubt whether the current method I'm using is the best, but I don't doubt my own ability to perform whatever method I choose with competency.

In work deciding which tasks to do myself or to delegate to others. A lot of the time I don't really know which will yield the best result, but I know that whichever method I choose I can make effective. E.g. I might delegate a certain task to someone, then second guess whether my judgement of their ability was accurate, or vice versa I second guess whether someone else was better suited to a task I took upon myself.

In relationships I often question it. I'm generally a poor judge of how people are feeling, so I often second guess if I say the right things or the wrong things. I often think that someone might have dismissed what I said and end up surprised when they refer to something I said or did as funny or a good idea.

Having a weak Fe function coupled with P would explain why I often second guess how someone felt about something I said/did. It was a source of much insecurity in the past, especially with people I cared about or wanted to make a good impression on. As I've matured I've come to learn that worrying about these things is pointless.

You'll become friends with the people you respect simply by virtue of acting yourself, because the people you respect are generally people with some likeness to yourself who will in turn respect your own opinions and personality.

I think a lot of people here would be pleasantly surprised with the regard in which they're held by most people if they were told. I think most people are generally more intelligent and thoughtful than NT types give them credit for.

 

[Darby]

I'm currently coming out of a period of serious self doubt. Honestly the only thing that helps for me is to change something, something big. I moved about 10 days ago, I moved in with a good friend of mine. It's my first apartment so it was definitely stressful getting ready to do it, and I wasn't totally sure how ready I was. I think part of it is that when you do something like that, and you get the people who are important to you to understand that what you're doing is important to you, then you find how supportive they can be, and how competent they think you are (Which, even though I'm not prone to needing people's positive input, when I feel that much doubt, I definitely do). So far everything is going well, I'm not doubting too much. the change itself, even though there was doubt, I could think of it as a "change for the better" and something I've wanted to do for a while. It puts me in a good mood, and, therefore allows me to think positively about other ventures in my life. I have a habit of thinking "Oh god, what am I doing? I have no idea how to do any of this!" now I'm thinking more along the lines of "Shit, what am I doing? Well, at the very least I'll learn something from the mistake, if it is one."

That and it's summer (ish) which ALWAYS puts me in a better mood.