Do you ever get tired of being an NT

[B00Bz]

Being an NT is an advantage in a lot of ways, NTs have superior reasoning abilities and are usually deeper thinkers than everyone else, but sometimes I get tired of it. Sometimes I just want to be a feeler, I want to be able to relate to everyone else instead of pretending to (even if I do a convincing job of it). I think that's why even though I am extroverted (lets face it my Ti is high but I am just not as intellectually inclined as a lot of people on this forum) I would rather communicate with people online than in real life, because NTs are much more common here, and I feel like I actually belong.

For example, my friend had to put her dog down awhile ago (I think she might actually be an ESTP, not an ESFP) and she was so sad, I wanted to be there for her, to be a good friend, but I didn't feel anything (even though I have known the dog for years too and grown fond of it) I am sure I said the right things, and a lot of people say that I am able to calm them down, but I never feel anything, and I didn't this time either, and it kind of disgusted me, how phony I was because I made it seem like I cared.

My friends sometimes tell me that I am too calm when something happens to me that would anger or upset most people I take it in stride and am logical about the situation. They call me a robot. They say its a good thing but I am jealous of them, they are experiencing life while I am just observing it...I'm always separate. I can't enjoy it like I should.

Does anyone else ever feel this way. Do you ever feel like you want to feel? Is this normal NT behavior or is the some psychopathic ENTP shit? Share your experiences.

 

[ddspada]

For example, my friend had to put her dog down awhile ago [...] and she was so sad, I wanted to be there for her, to be a good friend, but I didn't feel anything (even though I have known the dog for years too and grown fond of it) I am sure I said the right things, and a lot of people say that I am able to calm them down, but I never feel anything, and I didn't this time either, and it kind of disgusted me, how phony I was because I made it seem like I cared.

This SUCKS at funerals (of people whom you didn't know, but whose relatives you did know).
A couple of weeks ago, the best I could offer was my presence and a hug to my friend whose mother died in an untimely manner, but I didn't feel a thing.

People asking for relationship advice or having relationship troubles yourself kind of suck too because it's extremely draining to attack the problem from a purely emotionally ethical or directly emotional angle. This is a trait you must accept in yourself (without, of course, trying to shut emotions up when they do surface).

My friends sometimes tell me that I am too calm when something happens to me that would anger or upset most people I take it in stride and am logical about the situation. They call me a robot. They say its a good thing but I am jealous of them, they are experiencing life while I am just observing it...I'm always separate. I can't enjoy it like I should.

Think about this: there are levels of enjoyment your friends have easy access to that you don't; but the reverse is also true. You can enjoy pure philosophy; writing comedy; learning languages; programming; composing music; amassing knowledge; being good at chess/checkers/backgammon; having discussions of this sort or whatever else your NTP mind pushes you toward doing. Granted, it's a little more difficult to find someone who also enjoys life in this way; but difficult means difficult, not impossible.

Do not fall into the trap of thinking that the way most people enjoy life has to be the exact same way in which you too will most beneficially enjoy it. Observing what happens around you can be nice as well. I hear this improves with age for most NTPs.

You CAN enjoy life, but it will be nigh-impossible if you try to enjoy it doing things that are non-enjoyable for you, or if you try to measure it by way of such activities (whatever they may be).

Look for a chess club in your area. Attend extra classes if you can. Try your hand at writing non-fiction or plays. Share what you learn and you will, in time, find someone to enjoy life with on whichever level(s) you feel most comfortable and healthy in.

Does anyone else ever feel this way. Do you ever feel like you want to feel? Is this normal NT behavior or is the some psychopathic ENTP shit? Share your experiences.

Yes, yes, yes, no.

In my experience, which may or may not be an accurately sampled representation of reality, we NTPs (INTPs more so) are rather bad at faking* excitement or at trying to cover it up. NTPs often need a significant quantity of an uncommon quality of thought material to be aroused noticeably. Many if not most folks, some unwillingly, do pressure those around them to have emotional responses (I'm looking at the ESFJs ). If society were made of 17% NTPs instead of 17% SFJs things might flow differently, but in day-to-day interactions certain types of responses are expected from us. However, giving (trying to give) those responses might not always be the best for you.

When you feel that you should be feeling, a tip I can give you is to quickly, superficially analyze why you want to feel (pleasing someone, not seeming like a "robot" to yourself or others, enjoying art more). If the reason for wanting to feel is not valid (and only you can determine this for yourself) then convince yourself that it's OK to not have a clear emotional response. If the reason is valid, then accept the feels if they come, but don't try to force them. We're no good at faking*. Without 'bad' there's no 'good'. Learn that your clumsiness around emotionally-rich environments is only the counterpart to your agility in abstract problem-solving.

* Let "faking" be shorthand for "expressing clearly and deliberately when given an only slightly affecting piece of data". I do not mean to say that people who can do that are deceitful.

---

Good luck.

 

[The Gopher]

Yeah that's why I became an INFP you should try it sometime. On a serious note I could have written the exact same thing four years ago.

 

[Deleted member 1424]

I've always considered it a strength not to be easily swayed or manipulated by other people's emotions. To me, it means you're less susceptible to 'herd behavior.' In same vein, I personally would rather be understood than empathized with, so that's how I prefer to treat people. However, if I know they're looking for a particular response I'll usually grant it if I don't find it objectionable. That's a type of thoughtfulness all it's own in my opinion. I certainly wouldn't categorize it as deceptive as you appear to.


In regards to the dead dog, imo you're not 'supposed' to get emotional about such a thing. You're there to be supportive; being unduly emotional doesn't make sense and could only cause problems. Sure, it's prudent to be solemn in such a case, but anything more is silly. I sometimes find myself in a position where people get upset for me, and at best it's only mildly grating.

 

[Jennywocky]

For example, my friend had to put her dog down awhile ago (I think she might actually be an ESTP, not an ESFP) and she was so sad, I wanted to be there for her, to be a good friend, but I didn't feel anything (even though I have known the dog for years too and grown fond of it) I am sure I said the right things, and a lot of people say that I am able to calm them down, but I never feel anything, and I didn't this time either, and it kind of disgusted me, how phony I was because I made it seem like I cared.

Yeah.

I guess I've learned to not see it as "phony," because I care at least on some level or I wouldn't even bother -- even if it's just a "choice to care" rather than "care due to raw feeling" -- but I don't get how people can be swept away on emotion or operate out of it so regularly.

A ferry capsizes halfway around the world, and while I feel bad for the victims (more from intuitive empathy -- I can imagine myself in their shoes, and thus get a sense of what they might have experienced), at the same time my mind is engaging it on various levels and thus isn't just anchored in the emotion. There's a lot of detached evaluation going on.

My friends sometimes tell me that I am too calm when something happens to me that would anger or upset most people I take it in stride and am logical about the situation. They call me a robot. They say its a good thing but I am jealous of them, they are experiencing life while I am just observing it...I'm always separate. I can't enjoy it like I should.

I think it's our cross to bear, unfortunately. Life is rife with exclusivity -- when you hold one thing in your hand, you can't hold something else in it. Those people might FEEL things in the moment far more, but they lose some stuff in the process, just as we do by being more naturally detached. And it's very useful, pragmatically; I operate coherently in situations some people immediately start to freak out in, especially the unexpected or traumatic.

However, yeah, I've found myself wishing the same things at time. I think my art/music is what helps me feel like I haven't totally become robotic, and other people can observe that and realize I'm not a robot as well, but the reality is that my detachment does mean detachment, so I can't engage emotionally and "feel" it even if I can emulate it well. (I think maybe music is different because I am not really detached; I'm exploring that emotional space and don't have anything to fear, and none of my decisions are "wrong" except for the ones that aren't true to the inherent patterns within the music that I am exploring. So I no longer need to remain detached from the experience, I trust it and just throw myself in.)

But I do find it lonely. There are various relationships where I know I wouldn't be happy nor make the person happy because of my inability to live in that "in the moment emotionality" space. So it's easier to be alone, but I still do feel things and still want a few close relationships.

Yeah that's why I became an INFP you should try it sometime. On a serious note I could have written the exact same thing four years ago.

Proselytizing for the cause again?

The Robot Army will not be swayed.

 

[paradoxparadigm7]

Frankly, I don't think it's everyone's expectation that feeling has to be present. If I'm in an emotional space, I appreciate an NT to be a 'rock' for me. That can be just as helpful. If you're there to listen and give advice, maybe a hug, then I'll feel supported. I don't need nor expect someone to cry with me.

 

[Direwolf]

Most of the time i love being nt analyse the shit out of something, you understand it and overcome it. But there has been moments recently when my friends and and family needed emotional support and i just coupdnt provide it for them. It felt like a pit in my stomach every time. Like i was missing something. It made me feel different from everyone else. an outsider. If i could call on the feeling when i needed it that would be great. But since these situations are few and far between ill rather keep my nt. but if someone could help nurture my feeling that would be great. Im a young intp and still trying to understand the lack of feeling in my life. Dont get me qrong its there , its just super weak. If someone here can do it i will be welcome. If you could , just message me over the chat.I Dont want to overtake this thread. Thanks for listening, hope to hear from people soon.

 

[Jennywocky]

I think feeling can be partly generated BY the act of attachment.

Before I got married and had kids, I felt very detached. There is something about being in a relationship that you struggle to maintain at times + relating to your children that can force you to move into a more "emotional" space, or at least it worked that way for me. It was like parts of me began to open up, due to familiarity with particular individuals (so it builds a connection), plus I think that when you choose to value something, you grow more attached to it. This experience didn't rewrite who I was (I'm still pretty detached as my normal mode), but I would note when I'd feel spontaneous emotion and care about something without being able to explain why.

Of course, the natural tendency is to FIGHT it. I didn't understand this "spontaneous emotion" when it occurred, and I wasn't sure if I could trust it, and so there's a tendency to try to keep it in a box / keep it under control. It kinda screws you up. Even outside those relationships, now I do recognize feelings that I have about things in the moment, when they occur, and aren't sure how I should process them.

 

[StevenM]

In regards to the dead dog, imo you're not 'supposed' to get emotional about such a thing.

You may be on to something. Perhaps it is not just exclusive to T dominant types. If someone passes away, and you've never had that connection with them, then what percent of people really do have strong feelings?

However, it would make sense to actually empathize with the person, especially if the experience is recognized personally, and familiar.

It may seem contradictory that I mentioned 'empathize' which kind of means to 'share feelings with'. But a big difference in empathy is that the feelings are not personal.

For instance, I can empathize with a suicide jumper, about to leap off a tall building. I can understand and feel how he feels, yet, without leaping off the building myself. Just because I can put myself in his shoes, doesn't mean I'm going to try suicide myself.

Same with the friend who's dog just died. I can understand and feel how that person must feel, but that doesn't mean I'm going to grieve the way that person is. Empathy is a type of feeling that is more detached, and I guess 'impersonal' ,than if we were to go through the empathized situation ourselves.

 

[SilentStorm]

Every day. I hate over thinking things. I hate knowing more than other types and always getting irritated by their ignorance. I hate not being able to express my emotions. I wish I could be like other people and express my anger instead of just bottling it up. There's like one or two days a week that I like being this type. Every other day I pretty much hate it. I really just wanna be a carefree type that just has fun.

 

[Rook]

I really just wanna be a carefree type that just has fun.

Possible as a NT.
Depending on your definition of fun, though.

 

[nexion]

Do I ever get tired of being an NT? Sometimes.
Do I ever have a desire to share an emotional experience with others? Very rarely (it's probably more of an Fe thing).

I still feel things, it's just in a more abstract and distanced way. The best way I can describe it is as a deep unconscious reaction to some stimuli which may or may surface in time. I find that emotional reaction is typically deadened and delayed.

Mostly I am fine observing, so long as I still retain consciousness (and therefore have the ability to react to stimuli), and internalising that which I have observed.

Considerations of what kind of and how much external emotional expression is proper in a given social setting is not very often worth wasting my time on. There are far more important things to do. My solution to not having to worry about external emotional expression is to limit it as much as possible. In a situation with people I know well having some type of deeply personal issue, I will give consolation if it happens that the topic comes up in conversation, but other than that will mostly not mention anything of the sort (perhaps this is a projection on my part, as it is how I usually desire others interact with me).

Being an NT is pretty fun usually. It is definitely interesting to try to make sense of the more bombastic types.

 

[Pyropyro]

I do sometimes quit being INTP and go insane ESFJ shadow mode (my current job is a bit too stressful sometimes). I think I prefer being INTP.

I do feel but I prefer to have the rational part of me in control. Being in a feeler mode makes me more easily manipulated by circumstances and/or people.

 

[Jennywocky]

I do sometimes quit being INTP and go insane ESFJ shadow mode (my current job is a bit too stressful sometimes). I think I prefer being INTP.

I do feel but I prefer to have the rational part of me in control. Being in a feeler mode makes me more easily manipulated by circumstances and/or people.

In my experience, I never really ever "second-guess" it when I make a decision based on rationable grounds and a logical thought process. It gets a little more tenuous when I make an intuitive leap, but as long as I can come along afterwards and fill in the gaps with logical support, again, no problem.

But when I make a decision solely based on values and can't fill in anything afterwards, so that the values are forced to carry the weight? I second-guess those kinds of decisions any time I make them, and am never "quite sure." I think values and relationships are important, but that kind of reasoning isn't enough to allow me to move confidently ahead and feel happy with the decision. I have to vet it through some kind of rational assessment.

My guess is that instinctive / intrinsic perspectives still remain the "foundational/comfortable" basis underlying our decisions, and if the decisions don't mesh up, then we're vulnerable and unsure to some degree.

 

[Cavallier]

I've always considered it a strength not to be easily swayed or manipulated by other people's emotions. To me, it means you're less susceptible to 'herd behavior.' In same vein, I personally would rather be understood than empathized with, so that's how I prefer to treat people. However, if I know they're looking for a particular response I'll usually grant it if I don't find it objectionable. That's a type of thoughtfulness all it's own in my opinion. I certainly wouldn't categorize it as deceptive as you appear to.

Blargle. I often get halfway through a converstion when it dawns on me that the person doesn't want me to fix their problem. They want me to sympathize.

 

[Reality is Optional]

Yes, I feel that way all the time. There was only once I felt actual sadness. It was a hollow feeling in the pit of my gut, and it only happened once I was utterly, completely defeated and there was nothing I could do about it. For a few moments, I wondered what the strange feeling was before I thought, "Is this...sadness? Is that what I'm experiencing?" I love my NT, but since I'm an introvert, I don't feel like I'm missing out in life nor do I feel a need to connect with people more. Even so, there are times where I wonder what it's like on the other side.

 

[Teax]

... I hate not being able to express my emotions. I wish I could be like other people and express my anger instead of just bottling it up. ... I really just wanna be a carefree type that just has fun.

Possible as a NT.
Depending on your definition of fun, though.

i'd say: it depends on your definition of carefree, namely, that it's your choice. if you let yourself be bothered with those things, you will hate your life. but... why do you care? I believe the INTP has the most affinity to being independently-carefree of them all. independent from outside factors that is.

 

[SilentStorm]

i'd say: it depends on your definition of carefree, namely, that it's your choice. if you let yourself be bothered with those things, you will hate your life. but... why do you care? I believe the INTP has the most affinity to being independently-carefree of them all. independent from outside factors that is.

Maybe I just have anxiety or something. But I just can't stop myself from thinking what if. I usually spend most of my day worrying about things. Sometimes I block it out, but never for more than a couple hours. And it's usually not about anything significant. Crazy things like what if the Earth was swallowed by a rogue black hole, or if we get hit by a solar flare. But mostly I worry about myself, why I'm here and what I even am. It's fascinating and terrifying at the same time. I love life but I wish I could just see myself as a person instead of how I picture life in my head. I can't even really explain it.

 

[Teax]

ah those questions are so sweet to think about, but thinking about them doesn't make me worried. sure an asteroid could at any moment fail to completely burn up in the atmosphere and crashland on my lap (and break my house) but... its as entertaining a thought as a piano landing on my head =D

But mostly I worry about myself, why I'm here and what I even am. It's fascinating and terrifying at the same time.

interesting, how is it terrifying? I do get anxieties about appointments or something but terrifying is not a word I would have used.

 

[~~~]

Nah.

 

[Primeval]

Not really. While I'm cognizant of what I'm "missing," I see more negatives than positives in emotional rollercoasters. When others expect sympathy and empathy and I fail to provide it, I don't feel insufficient or inadequate. I simply don't do it. My friends accept this; those that don't...they aren't my friends.

That said, I do sometimes wonder what it would be like, but only insofar as it is a branch of knowledge I know very little about. I don't feel wistful or melancholic about being unable to experience it.

 

[Fukyo]

Have you ever considered the idea of disassociating your self-image from MBTI typology and expanding your perception of what you're capable to experience?

I know being tired of yourself isn't the most cheerful prospect and you won't be NTP master race anymore.

 

[Ex-User (8886)]

Ne is never tired!

 

[Anktark]

Can't answer the question objectively because I have never been non-NT. If you meant to ask "Was there a time when you would have preferred to have a non-NT personality?", yes. Most of them occur when I ought to be asleep (and awaken later in 4-5 hours), but the best ever show/party/attraction in my head just wouldn't stop. But even then, it's worth it.

If personality was optional I would reapply NT at the end of every year.

 

[somebodiesfool]

What's better than being nt?


NOTHING!


Buwhahahaha