Do You Believe You're Different?

[myexplodingcat]

I know you saw the title, and I know you're thinking I'm really, really naive. Bear with me.

Someone on PerC brought up that he didn't feel like he was recognized for how special he was--when he himself didn't consider himself very special at all!

Has this ever been a problem for you? Have you ever thought, "They don't recognize how (intelligent, social, willing, giving, different, not-different, special, unique, etc.) I am, and they don't accept me"? It doesn't matter who "they" are.

Have you ever expected someone to feel a certain way about you when you don't believe that you have that characteristic yourself? Do you think that this reaction stems from distrust in your own judgment?

This could go anywhere. Let's see what happens.

 

[Glordag]

My feelings on this change as I age. When I was a child, I never much thought about being different. Towards middle school, I was more concerned with soaking things up than introspection. In high school I knew I was different and smarter than everyone else, and developed a superiority complex, though I mostly kept to myself and knew how to hide it.

Then college destroyed everything that I thought I knew about myself. I lost my identity, no longer felt superior, forgot what made me an individual, and honestly completely changed conceptualization of who I was. This was extremely stressful, but also endlessly enlightening. For the first time, I truly appreciated the creative side of my being.

After college, I've had more time than ever for introspection and reflection. I also enjoy it much more these days. What I've realized is that, as a person that others can interact with I am really not all that unique. In my mind, however, is a maelstrom of ideas and realities that I know are far, far different than anything else going on in other people. I think this can be said about anyone, but it's comforting to know that we each have our own reality. I think it's especially true for introverts, who probably spend a good deal more time inside that reality.

 

[echoplex]

Has this ever been a problem for you? Have you ever thought, "They don't recognize how (intelligent, social, willing, giving, different, not-different, special, unique, etc.) I am, and they don't accept me"? It doesn't matter who "they" are.

No, because I don't trust any notion that I'm different in any significant (to me) way, and even if I thought I was, I wouldn't expect it to be significant to anyone else. I always try to remember that most people are more wrapped up in themselves than anything else, and thus wouldn't notice/care about me.

Plus, beware of thinking you're different when it's hard to really know that anyway. Thinking you're the only one to have certain thoughts/ideas usually proves to be quite wrong and is likely a result of simply wanting to believe that.

Most instances of my being recognized for anything have surprised me, especially those I'd never recognized myself, which are most of them.

 

[shoeless]

on the contrary, i tend to try to convince myself that i'm fundamentally the same as everyone else, and that there's nothing wrong with that.

but of course i still can't help but feel like i think/talk/feel too much, relative to everyone else. but then, you never really know what other people are thinking/saying/feeling.

 

[cheese]

I don't think I'm different to the majority of people, but I have noticed I'm pretty dissimilar to most of the posters here. I don't have anything like a maelstrom of ideas, I don't have huge congregations of people babbling at each other in my head all day, I very rarely experience boredom despite my head being largely empty, and my favourite pastime is forming mental portraits of people - or more accurately, forming models of everything, but the thing with people is everyone gets to have an opinion and then there's all this wonderful energy in discussing it with lots of other people which is something barely anyone likes to do, apparently. I know very little about very much, have never had the slightest clue about solving any world problem, am hopeless at strategy games, rarely felt isolated or alone, and feel completely nonplussed when it comes to people discussing their love for fantasy/video-games.

All I have is this opinionated 'model-maker', and this little gadget that drones "Correct" or "Incorrect", depending on the situation/statement. Actually, maybe that's what you're all like. The thinking-so-much-I-can't-sleep thing is definitely a point of difference though. I'm really good at sleeping. (Niche market.)

The biggest thing I've noticed about difference recently is how utterly weird - and strangely uncommon - 'normal' people are. This isn't some 'oh we're all weird and unique in our own way' tree-hugging motto, just an observation. There's just something about these people that is dead, at least to me. It's like they're from a completely different planet, and there is absolutely nothing about them I can recognise as being part of myself. I've never lived a second of my life in their shoes. That's uncommon for me, I guess. Who ARE these people? They're not just 'SJs', because they're pretty rare. I feel like if I knock on their head a little flag will pop out of their ear saying 'Dud! HAHA!' It's not a matter of intelligence, they just don't seem real.

 

[cheese]

Oh, I know what I mean. People without the slightest trace of irony or cynicism. In this post-everything-you-can-think-of world, every statement has its accompanying sarcastic smirk, and it's a rare person who never demonstrates the slightest abstraction from the immediacy of their situation or feelings to a more encompassing viewpoint.

 

[Melkor]

I think I've been subject to frequent and varied reminders of my differences from I was old enough to walk, and would probably be conscious of earlier instances if I had understood them.

 

[SilentChaos]

we are all the same, end of thread.

 

[WittyUsername]

Personally I used to think I was different for a period of time when I was 14 or 15.

But gradually I realised that the behaviour we project and what we say is not very different, its actually pretty predictable. We might say that what we think is unlike anyone else but how many minds have we explored?

We might be different than , say, 15 to 20 people we know. But on a larger scale it averages out.

 

[Dormouse]

Everyone is different, but everyone is equally replaceable.

I went through a very similar progression as Polaris. The highschool attitude of being the lone free-thinker among flocks of braindead sheep rings especially true. (It was during this stage that I found out about typology. Read into this what you will.)

I try to focus more on earning extra recognition instead of griping about how I deserve more.

 

[Bird]

Do You Believe You're Different?

Nope.

 

[Dimensional Transition]

Well... I don't think I'm special, or different, but others make me seem like it. It's really annoying, because when I ask someone 'Am I truly that weird?' they say: 'Well, you're a nice guy, but you have these little things you know... Not everyone all of a sudden screams 'HUAAAY' and does these weird motions and voices.' It worries me a little. Sometimes I think I might be crazy, or going crazy.
I've also been asked if I ever think at all or if I read something more complicated than comics, which is REALLY FUCKING OFFENDING to me.(Excuse the language.) It really really hurts my feelings because I know I've probably philosophized way more than most of the people who say such things to me. I'm just not always 'there' with my head, I might be locked in my own introspective world, or am daydreaming my life away, yes, but I'm not dumb. Hmf. I always enjoy helping people with their problems, seeing things from their perspective, and this is what I get for it apparently. Bleh.

 

[snafupants]

For those folks complaining about how others perceive and possibly judge them, you should realize that this underlines some deficiency that you feel in yourself. If someone told you your skin was purple and you were made from tacos, that would clearly be deemed ridiculous and immediately dismissed. However, if someone said that you stay in too much or eat too little or watch too much television, and it resonated with you internally on some level, that would be assessed as more true, and therefore more threatening to your current, comfortable way of negotiating reality. If you were truly at ease with how you were going about things, and equally sure of where the other person was coming from, these comments and perceived slights would have less effect.

 

[pjoa09]

I'd better be.

Because nothing else could explain other wise.

 

[Stoic Beverage]

I think I'm pretty standard in my actions. As for in my brain, I'm definitely different, but only in the sense that more or less everyone is quite different from the norm inside their mind.

 

[kinetickyle]

I don't feel particularly different, but I apparently am. I'm not concerned with the things that most people I know are - money, family, etc. It seems that I'm more interested in the immaterial whereas most other people are concerned with material gains.

Also, my thought process involves a lot of leaps that most people can't follow. I'm not saying that I'm smarter than most other people, but my mind definitely works in a different way than the majority.

 

[Awaken]

My feelings on this change as I age. When I was a child, I never much thought about being different. Towards middle school, I was more concerned with soaking things up than introspection. In high school I knew I was different and smarter than everyone else, and developed a superiority complex, though I mostly kept to myself and knew how to hide it.

Then college destroyed everything that I thought I knew about myself. I lost my identity, no longer felt superior, forgot what made me an individual, and honestly completely changed conceptualization of who I was. This was extremely stressful, but also endlessly enlightening. For the first time, I truly appreciated the creative side of my being.

After college, I've had more time than ever for introspection and reflection. I also enjoy it much more these days. What I've realized is that, as a person that others can interact with I am really not all that unique. In my mind, however, is a maelstrom of ideas and realities that I know are far, far different than anything else going on in other people. I think this can be said about anyone, but it's comforting to know that we each have our own reality. I think it's especially true for introverts, who probably spend a good deal more time inside that reality.

This exactly. Nowadays I think the difference between myself and other people stems mostly from attention span of thought. I suppose that is what introversion is. I really wish I could gain insight on what other peoples thought processes were like, but I have learned that it is very hard for others to communicate their own thought processes. Im not really sure why though, as I do not see how you can believe in something if you dont have an intimate enough relationship with your own thought process as to be able to explain it to someone else. But I digress...


Im pretty sure if there were a microphone on my thoughts and they were broadcast to the world around me(i.e. no filter) I would be considered batshit insane. However, I am pretty well adjusted to our society and if need be am a very good actor and have many different masks to put on, so it does not show all that much. But I question if this is not true for everyone in the world.

 

[jzono1]

It's not for me to tell; history may judge me.

The question is for me personally, stupid. If I'm indeed special, I know it won't amount for anything in the end. I'm just flesh and bones, destined to rot away some day, without leaving permanent traces of me ever existing.

 

[Puffy]

Oh, I know what I mean. People without the slightest trace of irony or cynicism. In this post-everything-you-can-think-of world, every statement has its accompanying sarcastic smirk, and it's a rare person who never demonstrates the slightest abstraction from the immediacy of their situation or feelings to a more encompassing viewpoint.

If it means anything Cheese I've always found your posts very interesting. I don't think you give yourself enough credit.

In response to the OP. I used to. But to me this seems natural. I do place more faith in personality typing than I sometimes let on and I feel that growing up as an Ni dominant gives a lot of room for being misunderstood by others. Just as it would for an Ne dominant.

Through school I made up a mythology for myself that I came to believe based on rumours about my birth and childhood to perpetuate an alien identity. I used to live behind masks because I felt it was the only way I could relate to people. However, since coming to university I have met a lot of like minded people and being open to them and feeling understood by them has given me greater confidence in being with people as a whole.

I would say, for myself, accepting I am a person like everyone else was a great step in maturity's direction.

 

[Jennywocky]

After college, I've had more time than ever for introspection and reflection. I also enjoy it much more these days. What I've realized is that, as a person that others can interact with I am really not all that unique. In my mind, however, is a maelstrom of ideas and realities that I know are far, far different than anything else going on in other people. I think this can be said about anyone, but it's comforting to know that we each have our own reality. I think it's especially true for introverts, who probably spend a good deal more time inside that reality.

I always liked that quote by Neil Gaiman in "A Game of You":

...Everybody has a secret world inside of them. I mean everybody. All of the people in the whole world -- no matter how dull and boring they are on the outside. Inside them they've all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds... Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands, maybe.

Yeah, the older I got, it's less about being "special" in the sense of "better than" -- even if it would be true, it's kind of the wrong question to me. I mean, I know I've got some gifts... and I've also got some corresponding weaknesses. To some people, I'm flawed; to others, I'm desirable. I think as a child I believed I was "special as in better than" but now I'm just far too aware of all the light and dark parts of me... and there are people I used to put down who I think are gifted in areas I am not.

But unique? Yes, everyone is unique. Dumb, smart, mean, kind, sad, happy, vapid, creative. Am I the sort of person someone would find interesting enough to want to know better? What can I do with my unique collection of experiences, talents, faults, beliefs, perceptions, environment, etc., that helps me feel like I'm doing something worthwhile and fulfilling?

 

[aaaw]

No. It takes a spectacular arrogance to believe you are unique in any fundamental sense.

 

[cheese]

Neil Gaiman is wrong. I don't have hundreds of worlds, let alone thousands. I don't even have one. I just have feelings and thoughts and immediate experience. Some people do have magical inner worlds but it's not right to extrapolate that to include everyone, based on your own experience. I don't really exist inside my head, only in yours.

 

[cheese]

Although if he's talking about the beauty of consciousness then I take his meaning. Each person is an 'I', and each person experiences their world slightly differently, such that there are effectively 6 billion 'worlds' being lived in (aside from other lifeforms) on earth. There are several different spheres within one individual's world as well, that draw out different components of the consciousness and exaggerate them in their isolation - creating yet another world.

So yeah, people have several different maps of the world in them, and it's pretty amazing that everyone is experiencing the world through their own particular filters.

I don't think that's what he was talking about though. "Secret world" sounds more like your secret hopes and dreams and fears etc. Whatever, I can't get excited about that anymore. Gaiman's world is probably very exciting and wonderful to him - in that his mental life is complex, varied and elicits a wide range of emotional responses. Then he assumed everyone else is just as objectively interesting and wonderful as his experience of his subjective world is to him. But no, that's not true. My outside world is interesting to me because it's mine. My mental life is interesting to me because it's me. But I don't have a secret world and I don't find it inherently interesting, I just can't help being drawn to it because it impinges directly on me. It's not great though. Lots of people are quite boring, I think, on the inside. Their potential to be fascinating and great lies on the outside, and on the effects they can have on others. I don't know what I'm saying. *crosses fingers*

 

[Oblivious]

I might value individuality, creativity and freedom of choice, but there is a possibility that I have found difficult to consider, yet cannot completely dismiss.

I am this way and value these things not through choice. I am this way and value these things because that's the way I am, and not through any conscious decision. I have no choice but to favour independence and self reliance because that's the way I was made. Much like this guy:

YouTube - Deranged Penguin - Encounters at the end of the world

Am I contradicting myself? I used to think so, but now not really. Choosing to follow the crowd is still a choice, an individual choice that is made by the individual alone. It is not different from a choice to follow one's own path.

I am saying that I follow my own path since that is the was I was made. My mind subconsciously rejects the other alternative regardless of the logical expedience. I have to consciously overwrite it in order to make the best rational decisions for my own success and well being. This involves working well in groups, understanding and guiding team mates, issuing instructions that suit them, gaining their trust, giving my superiors what they want, attaining clout, and the list goes on.

These are social things that my rational logic can be applied to, but mainly as a support. Social situations are mainly about fuzzy intuition and empathy, things I am only starting to get good at. I find that I am able to offer things in a social context other people cannot or find novel, and this is valued. This includes logical encouragement, where I 'Prove' that something is not as frightening as it seems by simplifying a previously unknown and needlessly complex phenomenon. If you can explain it convincingly, and this takes practise, people do appreciate it.

Also, sometimes my empathy is also strong enough to pick up feelings people do not know they have. If you can be sensitive to their feelings and make an effort to be supportive, they will appreciate it as well. However this takes some observation of a person.

These are areas of growth that I, I am not sure I am an intp any more, as an individual have identified that would make me a more well rounded person. I still have bouts of depression where the entire world just turns grey and everyone simply becomes the most annoying thing ever which just has to die. I consciously recognise it as simply depression and try to ride it out without committing suicide, and it works for me.

These areas are difficult to advance in and require much effort and determination, but they have opened whole new dimensions to me and I consider it to be completely worth it.

 

[Stigmata]

I think I'm different in terms of thought processing, but not in the sense of being a special snowflake or that being different somehow grants any special privileges or is worth any type of praise, but more so because I have a pretty in depth understanding of myself, and I doubt there's many who are similar to me.

 

[Meer]

One of my instructors once asked me if I had written any reverb DSP algorithms. The best algorithm I've made is the amazing 'Batman Distortion'.

I guess I've kind of grown to expect people to think I'm magnificently brilliant, even though I know I'm not. I try to diffuse this by telling myself that being brilliant isn't very useful in itself. A lot of it depends on how you perceive 'special' and how much of a deviation from 'normal' that is, maybe.

I sent my ex-girlfriend that video of the penguin. She was distressed about the penguin's actions, so I told her that he's just doing his thing. She replied, "And is gonna die!!" but I figure that describes most things that are alive.

 

[Minuend]

Different? Yes. Special? Noooooo.

 

[jacoluksevicius]

This is the crisis I'm having now

In my childhood I thought "everyone says humans are superior from other animals cause animals are all the same while one human is different from another one, but they are all the same. If you stop to observe, everyone has habits and tastes so similar, and they're so impulsive even saying that what turns humans superior to beasts are the ability to think . I want to be different, special, superior, I don't want to be just another drop in the sea, I really want to be different from everything else". But now I realize I wasn't so different as I thought.

However, with time, I did. First I became too much rational, the only thing that cared to me was to be smart, intelligent. Be the best in school.

In high school, I entered in an identity crisis. I've always been seen as the smart guy, the wonderfull student with a brilliant professional future but nothing more. I feel like I've created a mask and used it for so long that I can't take it off

I accepted that humans are still animals, that instincts are necessary, and everything has its own place, its own nature. Now I know that to be different isn't a BIG difference. I still feel different from others and don't know who I really am, but I feel I'll find what I'm seeking.

 

[Jesse]

In high school I often thought I was this super smart guy who could see the truth of things. But now that I'm older I see myself as just like everybody. Intelligence is not really a great trait to have in this world and well, the insights I have gained for me have all been relatively worthless. My goal in life has also changed. I no longer want to be the best at x, but now I can see how a enjoyable a normal life would be. So no I no longer consider myself special or different. A by product is I see no-one as special or different which is kind of sad.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

In my childhood I thought "everyone says humans are superior from other animals cause animals are all the same while one human is different from another one, but they are all the same. If you stop to observe, everyone has habits and tastes so similar, and they're so impulsive even saying that what turns humans superior to beasts are the ability to think . I want to be different, special, superior, I don't want to be just another drop in the sea, I really want to be different from everything else". But now I realize I wasn't so different as I thought.

From the context of your post, one might deduce that you're a cannibal. Yes, that is pretty different indeed.

 

[Imrinfected]

Different compared to what?

Special in what way, relative to what?

Far too vague for me to give a good, accurate answer.

However, I do believe that I'm replaceable, if that answers your question at all.

 

[jacoluksevicius]

From the context of your post, one might deduce that you're a cannibal. Yes, that is pretty different indeed.

sorry, when I use the word 'tastes' I mean what they like. In my mother language, "to taste" and "to like" have the same translation since both means "to have pleasure" (in latin, at least)

 

[notrightnow]

I am unique, different & unusual...just like everyone else.

 

[A22]

IRL I don't know any INTP neither anyone who seems to be an INTP. So yes, I feel different from my peers.

 

[Claytoe]

I have always felt really different, which in retrospect made me more similar than I am comfortable admitting, even after the fact. Then I had a major duel with the "Oh my god there are so many things I want to know everything about" paralysis. (Something I imagine is pretty common around these parts). I retreated to my apartment for and spent huge tracts of time in total, or near total isolation, (read that as; most of a day spent listening to music, bouldering, most of the night reading fiction, watching docs and pondering-rarely sleeping. No people or conversation for 5-6 weeks at a time for 2 years) and predictably it changed me. I dropped out of school suddenly, I had not been going except for exams anyway, and travelled South America for 6 months. When I came back I started in on life with a different set of presuppositions the most important changes were about myself, namely that I was less important/intelligent/correct and other people, that they were more important/intelligent/correct.

I think at this point in my life, where I feel like I can connect with people and find common ground is the time when others see me as the most unique but also as having an role to play.

TL;DR Introspection=good, Too much can makes you kind crazy. Other people are great!(exceptions apply)

 

[Hadoblado]

For those folks complaining about how others perceive and possibly judge them, you should realize that this underlines some deficiency that you feel in yourself. If someone told you your skin was purple and you were made from tacos, that would clearly be deemed ridiculous and immediately dismissed. However, if someone said that you stay in too much or eat too little or watch too much television, and it resonated with you internally on some level, that would be assessed as more true, and therefore more threatening to your current, comfortable way of negotiating reality. If you were truly at ease with how you were going about things, and equally sure of where the other person was coming from, these comments and perceived slights would have less effect.

I think there is some truth in these words, but you are maybe a little overconfident?
I get upset when I'm judged as something I know I'm not. Would you be upset if everyone thought you were a pedophile, even though they never followed up on these beliefs? You know whether you have deviant thoughts about children (or at least conscious thoughts), and they don't. There is zero doubt in your mind as to whether or not you are a pedophile, but doesn't the accusation sting?
I would argue that you easily dismiss the purple taco accusations not because you don't think it possible you are a purple taco, but because you don't think it possible that others would think you one.

 

[Claytoe]

I think there is some truth in these words, but you are maybe a little overconfident?
I get upset when I'm judged as something I know I'm not. Would you be upset if everyone thought you were a pedophile, even though they never followed up on these beliefs? You know whether you have deviant thoughts about children (or at least conscious thoughts), and they don't. There is zero doubt in your mind as to whether or not you are a pedophile, but doesn't the accusation sting?
I would argue that you easily dismiss the purple taco accusations not because you don't think it possible you are a purple taco, but because you don't think it possible that others would think you one.

To be truly "good", one must be viewed as lacking any good quality

I think other people can make nay number of false conclusions about me. I will never know fully what others think about me. To me it seems that the only reasonable way to behave, and the only functional presuppositions to make is that people see what is valid and worthy about me. Ultimately people desire for me to see the same in them. Maybe its not true, but I experience(d) a lot of social success partly as a result, the effect of the opposite presupposition is sadness and isolation.

 

[Moocow]

Technically I know I am different, to about the same extent as everyone else.
To believe I'm in some kind of minority based around certain characteristics means making a value judgement about which characteristics are important enough to set me apart from the crowd, as well as assumptions about the similarities between everyone else but myself and how representative my immediate, available social environment is of any kind of larger context.

Recognition of this sort isn't earned simply by being a certain way, it's by doing something exceptional. The major flaw in this trend of evaluation is in asking "how can I be special?" instead of asking "what can I do that is special?"

 

[terraxceles]

I've never met two people who were exactly alike. So, yes, I think I'm quite different, yet so is everyone else.

 

[Taniwha]

Nope, I'm not different. Just Human.

 

[Dr. Freeman]

I believe that I am well outside norms.

 

[Yet]

For those folks complaining about how others perceive and possibly judge them, you should realize that this underlines some deficiency that you feel in yourself. If someone told you your skin was purple and you were made from tacos, that would clearly be deemed ridiculous and immediately dismissed. However, if someone said that you stay in too much or eat too little or watch too much television, and it resonated with you internally on some level, that would be assessed as more true, and therefore more threatening to your current, comfortable way of negotiating reality. If you were truly at ease with how you were going about things, and equally sure of where the other person was coming from, these comments and perceived slights would have less effect.

that's a valuable eye opener, thx!

 

[aaaw]

I believe that I am well outside norms.

Which makes you just like so many other people around the world.

 

[crippli]

I've made the error of thinking I'm just like them. More then once.

 

[Dr. Freeman]

Which makes you just like so many other people around the world.

The difference being, that many other people deviate from norms for the purpose of standing out. When I deviate, the actions of others have little effect on mine, I make my actions (for the most part) based on what I think is convenient. Also, I'm awesome, which seperates me from the vast majority of the population.

 

[^_\\]

No. It takes a spectacular arrogance to believe you are unique in any fundamental sense.

I am unique in the fundamental sense:
The statement "I am unique" is true.

Whatever sense you are talking about is not the fundamental one.


That thing about a gadget droning correct/incorrect sounds a lot like me. I like rhe charecterisation as a gadget because I don't put any effort into it, like something else is doing it. My drone is more like ok so far/incorrect though.

 

[saba4ever]

In grade school, I wanted to be different but quickly realized that I was nothing; then as I got older, I became indifferent about being different, unique, and all. I think it was then when people started telling me how interestingly different I was. For some time, I enjoyed their view of me being different from them although I couldn't quite figure out what was so different about me. Of course, I am unique in a sense that everyone in the world is. But that's like 2% difference from everybody else. (And everyone is like that.)

Anyway, but then, when I finally got out of school, that entertaining thought caught up with me. People started to dislike me for my difference. Thankfully, not most people but some.

So do I think I'm different? No. I think I'm just like everyone else. Do people think I'm different? Almost everyone who gets acquainted with me tells me so. Well, I guess I can say my thoughts deviate a little bit from average population.

 

[Bird]

Today I realized why I get along so well with INTPs.
Because y'all are different.


When I get upset with someone and then am fine
with them five minutes later most people are incredibly
defensive and are not ready to move on from the
hurt feelings.
With INTPs it's different. You don't care if I am moody.
You don't even notice so there's never any awkward
me waiting for you to become un-upset with me.

 

[Hisoka]

No. Not only is my uniqueness pretty well recognized, I recognize it in myself, ergo I'm sort of the opposite of that. Not that my uniqueness is very positive, mind. My intelligence < My laziness, shyness, general irresponsibility and crippling fear of saying or doing something imperfect.

 

[Nocturne]

Hmm... I am currently in middle school and I acknowledge how different I am and feel a bit superior from my other classmates due to my intelligence. But then again, isn't everybody different and "special" in their own ways? Is it possible to truly define oneself?