Body Language

[A mathematical equation]

I like to read people's body language. A lot. I might be making an assumption but if I'm not mistaken its classical INTP nature to be analytical, therefore if your an INTP you will probably end up analyzing other's body language at some point.

I don't know if thats accurate, but that's what the poll is for.

If you do read body language...

How good do you consider your body reading skills to be? Did you read about it or did you learn from experience? If it was experience, did you learn from being conscious of your own or matching reactions with easily guessable emotions? What kind of person do you consider the hardest to read?

If you learned from experience, do you think you had a generally pessimistic/optimistic view of others thoughts toward you?

 

[JarNew]

I'm amazing at reading body language. I was never able to nor did I have a clue to until I learned where I was supposed to look and what for. I don't really even read people's body language any more, I kind of just instinctively take it in and know how to react to it naturally.

 

[Awaken]

I like to read people's body language. A lot. I might be making an assumption but if I'm not mistaken its classical INTP nature to be analytical, therefore if your an INTP you will probably end up analyzing other's body language at some point.

I don't know if thats accurate, but that's what the poll is for.

If you do read body language...

1.How good do you consider your body reading skills to be?2. Did you read about it or did you learn from experience? 3.If it was experience, did you learn from being conscious of your own or matching reactions with easily guessable emotions? 4 What kind of person do you consider the hardest to read?

If you learned from experience, do you think you had a generally pessimistic/optimistic view of others thoughts toward you?

1. Very good
2. Experience
3.Learned it from subconsciously focusing on other things when someone goes on and on about something I already know or already understood after their first sentence. This lets me react appropriately and at the same time have no clue what they are saying anymore.
4. Someone like myself who experiences everything internally, but mostly communicates in a monotone voice.

 

[Lobstrich]

I thought this would be a thread about how we use body language. Not another "This is the INTP stuff I do" thread.

 

[Logic]

Theres actually been these 3 girls who have been showing an interest in me at my college during my Fall and Winter semesters. Unfortunately this is a sad story, since I wasn't interested in any of them. So I had to let them know through my body language.

The typical sort of thing a girl usually does when she is interested in a guy, is a number of different things. They would all try to get close to me but never too close to seem interested in me to the people around them as well as me. They would also look at me for an extended period of time, to try and initiate eye-contact with me.

Girls usually behave in a very indirect manner, which is extremely annoying from my perspective, but I have learned to play their game though, to make sure my message gets across.

First Girl

On the first day of the Winter Semester, all of us students had collected around the outside of the classroom door. I was just waiting at the time, but I got this weird vibe from this girl standing some distance away from me.

A month later she asks, "Did we have any homework?", I reply "I don't know, maybe". The next time we talk, She again asks another question, to which I again respond in a very monotone way, but this time she giggles after.

She manages to build up enough nerve to actually sit right beside me one day, and she then starts to talk to me out of nowhere (just some small talk). Her knees were together and pointed directly at me, showing strong interest in me.

Second Girl

Probably the most annoying one out of all three. She would sometimes follow me outside of class and start walking ahead of me during break. When in front of me she would then slow down in a conscious effort to try and get my attention, and speak with me. She would also do this when I would just be standing against a wall, by walking over and then starting to slow down again, hoping that I'll engage in some tedious conversation with her. All the while she will look straight ahead appearing to other people as though she is just "walking through the hall", but the whole time her peripheral vision is focused on me.

Third Girl

First time I saw her she was in my previous math class during the Fall Semester. She would try and talk to me by offering help while I asked questions to the teacher. One time I asked the teacher, "Shouldn't you also divide the 5 by 3 as well?". " No actually your not supposed to do that...." She gets cut off by the Teacher who then says to me "Oh right, I forgot. You have a really good eye!" To which I respond with a nod and smile. Neither the teacher nor I acknowledged her during this entire interaction. Her "helpful advice" was not only wrong, but also completely shunned. I then start to feel the atmosphere beginning to stifle in the classroom.

Some time passes by and I am now taking higher level math courses during the Winter Semester, but I occasionally go to the "Math Lab" to ask some questions about my homework. One day I get there, and guess who I see? Yep. Here I thought I was rid of her forever, but now she's back and still trying to get my attention. I sit down and start doing my work, trying hard to not look in her direction. She starts to talk out loud to the few people who are there. (She's does this to come off as an easy-going and approachable person). She also starts to talk loud enough so that anyone outside her immediate circle of friends will hear her and join in on the conversation.

Conclusion

So what am I doing/did? You ask.
(Winter Semester doesnt end until the end of March, 2011)

I just ignored them. To show that I wasn't interested in them back, I had to be very careful with how I came across through my body language. If I were to smile at them and say "Hey, hows it going?", they may have gotten the wrong idea about my intentions. I didn't want to even remotely come off as being interested in them, because I didn't want to lead them on in any way, and also because I didn't find them appealing. An easy way to get people off your back is to generally come off as an uninterested person, don't smile and don't laugh at anything, try to appear angry and irritable and people usually get the message.

 

[Dimensional Transition]

Well, I make attempts to read body language, but I'm not really good at it yet. Experience doesn't work for me at the moment because I'm too socially anxious to try out different approaches other than the monotone-voiced 'not really there with his head' approach yet. I would like to read more about body language.

 

[warryer]

Consciously only sometimes. It's quite draining to do 24/7 so, I conserve my energy and escape off into beautiful oblivion. I think what I hate the most is how self conscious it makes me feel - this is more draining (emotionally) than the actual information processing.

@DT you can read about it but you won't get a good feel for it. What really jump started me down this path was reading 48 Laws of Power. It opened my eyes to the possibility that maybe there is in fact messages being said behind words/actions. When I went out in the world it took a loooong time to calibrate but I finally got it and you can too.

 

[Dimensional Transition]

It is really tiring, yes. It feels like I'm watching my own body language more at the moment than other people's body language, maybe it's part of being a young INTP. Constant harsh self analyzation.

But yeah, reading and then bringing the information into practice, that's what I was planning to do, but I'd really have to read about it first. I'm reading 48 Laws of Power now, haha. Thanks for mentioning that. Now I have somewhere to start.

 

[EmergingAlbert]

I hardly ever read body language consciously unless absolutely necessary. I think one of the main reasons for this is because I hardly use it myself. I wasn't really aware of this until recently. My girlfriend was expressing to me that she didn't know how I felt because I never express it nonverbally. I asked her, "Can't you tell from my behavior? I thought you were good at reading body language..." She replied by saying I don't show any emotion through body language. Other people apparently perceive me as emotionless too, as I also recently discovered through her. I have been told by others that I'm great at keeping a straight face no matter what, but I didn't realize it was so severe. But yeah...I never really read body language consciously. I analyze people mainly through their words. I take things very literally. I can also tell people's emotions through their behavior and tonality in their voice, but that's more subconscious than anything. I think everybody does that to some extent.

 

[MissQuote]

I definitly like watching the way people move. Sometimes, not always, I'm taking in the movements more than the words a person may be speaking, activly analyzing the body language while taking the speaking in subconsciously, sort of a reversal of what our brains would normally do I suppose.


The way people move their hands particurily facinates me, I think there is a lot of honesty in the hands, there have been times when I decided I didn't care for a person and one of the factors up on the list of reasons was their typical hand movements. edit- that last part sounds a lot more irrational than I mean it, obviously I'm not going to be predjudice for that reason alone, I mean it more like if there are already things contributing to me not caring for someone then getting the heebeejeebees from the way they use their hands doesn't help.

I thought this would be a thread about how we use body language.

This would be a good thread, or direction for this thread to turn.

 

[Pospero]

The way people move their hands particurily facinates me, I think there is a lot of honesty in the hands...

Consider the feet too, if people give away a lot with their hand their feet are a window to their soul. Body language seems to be changing, the more people know the more they tried to hide it.

The feet are considered to be the most honest part of the body. Consider:

Feet pointing in the direction to exit as an intention cue.
Leg crossing forming barriers visa versa
Mimicry
Closeness or even touching under a table
Gait as an indication of mood
Leg Movement (too much here)

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Consider the feet too, if people give away a lot with their hand their feet are a window to their soul. Body language seems to be changing, the more people know the more they tried to hide it.

The feet are considered to be the most honest part of the body. Consider:

Feet pointing in the direction to exit as an intention cue.
Leg crossing forming barriers visa versa
Mimicry
Closeness or even touching under a table
Gait as an indication of mood
Leg Movement (too much here)

lol

I think it's a waste of time to read much into body cues. Yea some people may feel this or that way, but they're still hoping for some kind of contact. They just already got their mind set on "who" and "what", and you can tell "who" by observing them for a quick while.

 

[nexion]

I can more easily read verbal language- intonations and embellishments, than body language.

 

[kibou]

I depend depend mostly on body language for interpretation of what someone's saying, but I find it's mostly done unconsciously. I like consciously read body language cues too, though.

 

[Da Blob]

It is kind of pointless to try to read body language in a lot of cases. Because it is a language, most people learn to lie using their body language at a young age. At first it is just a childhood defensive measure, but there are Others, that when they mature, learn how to manipulate their body language, in an offensive manner, to send definite, deliberately misleading nonverbal messages.

 

[Blue Dream]

I like to read people's body language. A lot. I might be making an assumption but if I'm not mistaken its classical INTP nature to be analytical, therefore if your an INTP you will probably end up analyzing other's body language at some point.

I don't know if thats accurate, but that's what the poll is for.

If you do read body language...

1.How good do you consider your body reading skills to be? 2.Did you read about it or did you learn from experience? 3.If it was experience, did you learn from being conscious of your own or matching reactions with easily guessable emotions? 4.What kind of person do you consider the hardest to read?

If you learned from experience, do you think you had a generally pessimistic/optimistic view of others thoughts toward you?

First off, I'll begin by stating that I don't feel I actively read other people's body language, but do feel that I analyze/read/feel other peoples emotions and feelings pretty passively, at least for the most part. I do occasionally have to focus on the feelings and study people for longer periods of time if they're harder to feel/read.

Relating back to the question-
1. Above average - very good
2. Experience
3. Possibly. I don't remember when I started reading body language at a more proficient level or how I related, but this sounds like a very possible way for development to occur.
4. A person like me who internally experiences and perceives, comes off as very neutral, and says a minimal amount when spoken to. I also avoiding saying anything about myself if I can. But this behavior is only present when I'm interacting with people I am uncomfortable with or people who I dislike/don't trust/have a generally poor relationship with. It develops into almost opposite behavior when I'm around the most important/liked people in my life.

I've always felt that others usually have an optimistic view towards me since it try to come off as really passive and neutral, so others wouldn't have any basis to dislike me. When I recognize people who think poorly/negatively of me, I tend to just ignore them completely in favor of people who I enjoy speaking to, since (usually) when people dislike me, it's because they see what I say as either confusing, or my questions too inquisitive for them, usually because they require the person to further explain their reasoning behind their statements. When this happens, I don't really want to take the time to thoroughly explain myself to them, because 1) I don't really care to fully explain myself to someone who dislikes me for what I perceive as a poor reason to dislike/be annoyed by someone, and 2) if I do they usually end up becoming more confused/annoyed with me because they are impatient, or they simply don't understand my more complex, elaborate explanations in which I explain every bit of why I did/said/thought as I did. This usually leads to them being even more confused and annoyed, as well T__T

 

[P.H.]

Body language is great manipulation xD

I use it a lot when I want to get things done by people (and I haven't succeeded another way). Nodding, talking with your hands, looking in the eyes of your conversational partner. I tried it once to my boss because he made me work too much (I literally didn't have one day off because I was afraid to say no) and I was very surprised it worked. Other purpose: graded reflective conversations with teachers.

Recently I've discovered how to use your voice. People like it when you maintain a calm voice. Not monotome per se, but just... a bit on the slow side. It's funny how people suddenly have respect for you when you talk that way. As if you have the upper hand in the conversation and they're willing to take anything from you.

Not that I do this often. It is immensely energy draining and on the other hand you're manipulating people. Call it a last resort.

On topic:
I think I'm quite good at reading body languages. Somehow I notice if people are feeling sad or insecure or something like that. But this is all subconscious, hardly aware I'm doing it, or how. Pure observation is my guess. (That's what "we" do, right?)

I think body language is very interesting and when I have the time, I'd prolly dig deeper in the theories and stuff (already spotted some reading material in this thread)

 

[chrystalline]

Not only do I continuously watch body language, but I listen very intently to sentence structure, vfibs in conversation, language tone, etc. I have learned to read people in many ways to find the truth and figure out what kind of person they are. Do I want to talk to them any longer? Are they worth talking to? Can I trust them? Do I want to try to be friends with them? Typically the answer is NO! I have finally decided I am not going to sugar coat life anymore and have finally chosen a small close group of friends (NF & NT types primarily) that I don't have to be fake or keep my mouth shut with anymore. It's nice.

 

[chrystalline]

It is kind of pointless to try to read body language in a lot of cases. Because it is a language, most people learn to lie using their body language at a young age. At first it is just a childhood defensive measure, but there are Others, that when they mature, learn how to manipulate their body language, in an offensive manner, to send definite, deliberately misleading nonverbal messages.

That's why you take all aspects of communication into consideration. Your answer comes when there is a contradiction. That would prove there is a strong confusion or a lie.

 

[slyspy]

I don't do it consciously. It is something I do without even noticing. Also, I don't like doing it because I feel like I am prying into something personal.

 

[chrystalline]

I don't do it consciously. It is something I do without even noticing. Also, I don't like doing it because I feel like I am prying into something personal.

Are you a weaker "T"? Most INTP's that I have talked to that have a strong NT, do not have a moral compass in regards to this topic. Just curious. Since I have started doing it, I have to admit, my life has taken a turn for the better. I was just sick of everyone having negative reactions to me and my positive attitude. I don't do it to be malicious or hurtful, mostly so nothing like such doesn't happen to ME! I guess it's my wall, my guard.

 

[darude11]

I am beginner in reading of body language... I know what some gestures mean, I know how to read from person's legs what is he paying attention to and reading what do they think from eyes... but mostly I use just second one, that is simple and have no needs of extreme knowledge. But I would be thankfull for any advice. Thanks!

 

[GYX_Kid]

if there's a dramatic change in someone's facial expression in reaction to something i did or didn't do (such as keeping a non-expressive facial expression) then i might think "ha, you could be (that)"

 

[kibou]

I feel body language has a very artistic component to it. Although there are fairly concretely signals that it is showing, it is very nuanced, layered and experiential. I know for many feelers body language is not only expected to be nuanced but also relied on as the "real answer", so even if it's layered (like saying yes but really meaning no), strong feelers can expect that answer to be obvious. In a world with a lot of expected body language, anyone that wants to hide their answer or mislead someone has to become even more nuanced to be able to lie, because subtlety and reading between the lines is already expected.

I know if I'm watching a video I can often explain the concrete reasons how a person is showing their body language, yet if someone just told me of a situation where someone was giving the same body language, I wouldn't be able to say how to interpret it. That's because there is more of an overall "flavor" or "vibe" that's going on in the scene, and there's all these other nuanced things happening before and after and during in the environment that could completely change the interpretation. This makes me think of art, because for example, even if someone says "I'm sad" in one poem and means it, doesn't mean it means the same thing in another context; it could be sarcasm if someone says it in a situation where it doesn't make sense to.

Interpreting body language requires the same kind of nuanced observations and "vibing" that's required to understand sarcasm on the verbal level. So in this sense, body language, like spoken language, has both a literal "take-at-face-value" kind of language, and then more nuanced subtle meanings or even reversed meanings (like sarcasm).

 

[scorpiomover]

I'm really not that great at it. Partially, because I lived in my head until recently, and didn't pay any attention to what was going on around me. Partially, because I've always found it hard to figure out people's ways. But I did hear about things like mirroring, and hair flicking.

I do enjoy people watching from afar. I find that I can tell quite well about what people are thinking, when I'm viewing them objectively.

But I really do struggle to process body language when they are in my 'zone'.

To answer your final question, I was born an extreme pessimist. I'm learning to be more of an optimist as I get older.