Wow. You sound like you're shy, but also like you've been to university already. How old are you?In "real life" social situations I'm the girl in the corner who doesn't talk to anyone unless approached, or I force myself to talk to others if someone else looks like they could use company -only- if its a networking event where you're expected to talk to someone. But I will 99% not initiate conversation in real life unless drunk. Actually, even if drunk with others, I'll be on my phone writing notes to myself about realizations/abstract thoughts, and will need to take bathroom breaks to simply extrapolate.
In group conversations I will be awkwardly quiet and then suddenly jump in with a question or answer the second I have a chance to say something that will be intriguing and unconventional. I try to avoid group conversations as much as possible because it just feels odd.
It was kind of awkward like that in school too - The professor would be talking and following the agenda, and I'll have the urge to say something and it unleashes some controversy or a new train of thought to the point where students would turn to each other as if either questioning it or wanting to talk about it yet the professor would need to address it quickly or move along for the sake of time. In some instances the professor would be elated and compliment me, and then I'd get some sense of validation from injecting refreshing insights into an ultra-boring lecture.
In many cases I forced myself to lead larger groups of people and felt more of an ENTP in an INTP's body.
I've also extensively studied INTP "weaknesses", one of which is, I believe, emotional/social aptitude, which I conditioned myself to try and become accustomed to over the years.
Yes, men don't need to adapt to such a life.Sure, if you're not used to a life were people seek you out or hit on you just because of looks or gender. Believe me, if you're not a skeptic as a woman, you'll end up with some creep that takes advantage of you. Just #womanthingsI didn’t send her anything, but to me that sounds a bit nutty.
Men might get away easier on that point (?), they don't have to adapt to a life of having to avoid stalkers and other creepy guys who're in it for the abuse. Having to constantly question whether this guy is obsessive and will kill you, or whether he's just nice and loyal.
Obviously people will get a certain impression from posts made on a forum vs impression when meeting me RL.There is good reason to be skeptical of anyone approaching you seeking an intimate relationship. Probably especially so on the internet. There are also plenty sympathetic reasons to approach someone on the internet in the hopes of finding a mate. Let's not make this black and white.
I don't think Minuend overestimates people's predatory tendencies, but I think (s)he underestimates benevolent tendencies. Loads of people find happy relationships online, and a forum gathering like-minded people seems the place to do it.
Seems like a healthy warning, though, Minuend. I wish more people would talk openly about how shitty humans often are. Then maybe there wouldn't be so many victims, and we could build a society better incentivising moral and empathetic behavior. Long term that could even steer evolution towards a kinder species.
That is how they get you. Why are good people so eager to fascilitate evil (and before all the good INTPs here have the kneejerk reaction: "there is no absolute good and evil", let's just agree they are practical terms here)? If good people were just more adept at recognising each other, kindness would be a much more effective survival strategy, and humanity might actually evolve into a decent species. Instead kind people tend to squander their time, energy and resources on predators. I think a lot of "good" is just fear mascerading as sympathy. It can be tough to swallow the red pill, see humanity for what it is. Easier to be submissive in the face of evil, and pretend we live on Sesame Street.That being said, there's a lot of naivity regarding how some use and manipulate others. A lot of people tend to think the men or women in question are well intended or are otherwise good people. That's how they get you, son
I recognize Marbles sound advice!If good people were just more adept at recognising each other, kindness would be a much more effective survival strategy, and humanity might actually evolve into a decent species.