Anxiety caused by seeking Perfection with Everything

[seijitakk]

Ever since I could remember, I have always had a huge issue with everything needing to be perfect, with literally EVERYTHING. One of the most well known things about us INTP's is how fucking anal we are with grammar. With out even trying we can hear the slightest flaw in anyone's speech, especially with our own. My need for perfection goes all over the place, whether it be the arrangement of my room. Clothes that I wear (A extra half inch of skin that is shown with a certain t-shirt, I will instantly be dismiss a possibility of buying/wearing). Lately It's been getting a lot worse. I've had bad experiences with computers breaking down a year or two after getting them. I've also had multiple Ipod's because they all break (so I get really cautious when I get a new ipod). So I just bought a Mac Book Pro (Just switched from PC), and I've been extremely paranoid with any glitchy, weird things happening while using my computer. The sad thing, is that I'm pretty sure that the little errors I find that occur are things just happen from time to time. And it's not a personal flaw with my computer. But it's still driving me fucking nuts. Like for example, I just downloaded the world of warcraft installer. And when I went to open the folder up, I found that there were two of the same folders in my documents, and I started freaking out a little (Ok, alot). What the fuck, did I just smoke way to much weed before I got sober (In a sober living house right now) or is this something that any of you other INTPS can relate too?

 

[Minuend]

That's not healthy regardless of type.

 

[Fukyo]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive_compulsive_personality_disorder

There you go.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

I say kick all technology for awhile(like weeks, even months). Also learn to not give a damn about order. It helped me.

Are you still in high school or are around lots of other people? That could be what's causing it, you might be receiving a subconscious perception of inferiority and are trying to compensate by being structured and orderly. If this is the case, I say do something new. Change up your lifestyle significantly by doing more physical activities(no that one doesn't count).

 

[Wizardry]

I had a similar issue as a youngster only I valued different things such as health and athletics (I'm XNTX, INTJ is the best match for me though). I went overboard with everything to do with physical fitness and it caused me about equal amounts of satisfaction and anxiety.

Anyway, maybe you should channel your "perfection" energy into something. There comes a point where you just have to let stuff go (don't let it control you unless you like the stress feeling) and then pat yourself on the back.

The electronics breaking bit seems reasonable to me. I have always been extra suspicious of weird computer activity.

 

[Bird]

I'm not an INTP, but yes.

 

[warryer]

People are not perfect.
The things people make are not perfect.
To expect perfection from something imperfect is irrational.
To be irrational is imperfect.

The idea is to learn to let go of your need to control. I'm sure you hate it when other people point out your flaws. We live in an imperfect world that's all there is to it.

I struggle with this myself sometimes. When I get stuck in a loop of 'this isn't good enough' I have to take a breath and remind myself that its not worth all the energy I'm expending to improve a very very small percentage.

 

[CoryJames]

People are not perfect.

Speak for yourself.


Anyway, towards the OP, he is right. You need to just learn the skill of stepping back, not saying anything, and smiling to yourself, even if you don't particularly like what is happening around you. It took me a long time to develop that skill. For me it was interpersonal relations. I can't stand irrationality, and I used to feel the NEED to point it out and try to "fix it", and grew immensely frustrated when others could not see it when it seemed SO obvious to me. Learning to just let things be and being okay with stuff outside my control has saved me from a premature heart attack...

 

[SpaceYeti]

It always bothered me, as a child, when rainbows were colored in improperly. As everyone knows, red is the outermost color, and as you go in you find orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet, in that order. Though, that's reversed on the negative rainbow, if it's visible at all.

 

[seijitakk]

I say kick all technology for awhile(like weeks, even months). Also learn to not give a damn about order. It helped me.

Are you still in high school or are around lots of other people? That could be what's causing it, you might be receiving a subconscious perception of inferiority and are trying to compensate by being structured and orderly. If this is the case, I say do something new. Change up your lifestyle significantly by doing more physical activities(no that one doesn't count).

No I graduated a few years ago, I think it just comes down to fear. Fear of having to go through the process again of getting a new laptop. A lot of that is traced back to carelessness with past technology I've had. Although that is a very interesting vantage point of thought, I don't really feel interior to the people that I'm around.

 

[seijitakk]

People are not perfect.
The things people make are not perfect.
To expect perfection from something imperfect is irrational.
To be irrational is imperfect.

The idea is to learn to let go of your need to control. I'm sure you hate it when other people point out your flaws. We live in an imperfect world that's all there is to it.

I struggle with this myself sometimes. When I get stuck in a loop of 'this isn't good enough' I have to take a breath and remind myself that its not worth all the energy I'm expending to improve a very very small percentage.

Thank you Warryer! That was exactly what I needed to hear. As you said, I am just looking for perfection in imperfection, which is completely irrational.

 

[seijitakk]

Speak for yourself.


Anyway, towards the OP, he is right. You need to just learn the skill of stepping back, not saying anything, and smiling to yourself, even if you don't particularly like what is happening around you. It took me a long time to develop that skill. For me it was interpersonal relations. I can't stand irrationality, and I used to feel the NEED to point it out and try to "fix it", and grew immensely frustrated when others could not see it when it seemed SO obvious to me. Learning to just let things be and being okay with stuff outside my control has saved me from a premature heart attack...

Thank you Cory, This definitely sounds like something I need to, to just let go of things that aren't a big deal. I think it just all comes down to acceptance, something that I have an extremely hard time doing.