Another new guy thread

[Jesse]

Ok I just wrote quite a long introduction but the tab closed and I lost it all.

I'll just put down some interesting facts about myself instead of the 8 paragraph bio I had written. I'm a 20 year old Australian, I freaked myself out at an early age by thinking of really depressing things such as life after death and what not. Now I just get depressed over normal things like money and relationships. I failed miserably at school even after years of being told by literally everyone I was the smartest guy they knew. I love lots of pop culture things such as games, movies and music.

Also are we allowed to swear here? I occasionally drop the F-bomb for the hell of it

 

[Cognisant]

Swearing's fine, within reason.
There's a difference between colourful and gaudy.

So what state are you from?

 

[Jesse]

Victoria. I only asked because I was going to write something a bit personal and something that really ticks me off but that doesn't matter as I didn't write it anyway.

 

[Cognisant]

Ah, Queenslander myself.
Welcome to the forum, there's actually a surprising number of Aussies here.

 

[NoID10ts]

Also are we allowed to swear here? I occasionally drop the F-bomb for the hell of it

Swearing's fine, within reason.
There's a difference between colourful and gaudy.

Fucking Sigh.

Another fucking foul mouthed Aussie.

Oh well, welcome to the fucking forum. I'm from fucking Texas where the fucking word "fucking" is a proper fucking adjective as you can fucking see.

Oh, and don't you dare tell fucking Cognisant where you fucking live. I made that fucking mistake and he stole my fucking car, shit on my fucking lawn, and now my fucking dog is pregnant.



(You should feel fucking privileged because I haven't posted here in fucking weeks because this fucking place has gone to fucking hell. I'm sure you'll fucking enjoy it though. Fuck. <---- That was a bonus fuck for your amusement)

 

[Melkor]

Fucking Sigh.

Another fucking foul mouthed Aussie.

Oh well, welcome to the fucking forum. I'm from fucking Texas where the fucking word "fucking" is a proper fucking adjective as you can fucking see.

Oh, and don't you dare tell fucking Cognisant where you fucking live. I made that fucking mistake and he stole my fucking car, shit on my fucking lawn, and now my fucking dog is pregnant.



(You should feel fucking privileged because I haven't posted here in fucking weeks because this fucking place has gone to fucking hell. I'm sure you'll fucking enjoy it though. Fuck. <---- That was a bonus fuck for your amusement)

FECK YOU!

 

[NoID10ts]

FECK YOU!

Leave it to the fucking Irish to fuck up the work "fuck".

 

[Melkor]

Leave it to the Texans to feck up the meaning of life!

 

[NoID10ts]

Leave it to the Texans to feck up the meaning of life!

Fuck that. Texans know it's fucking 43, unlike the rest of you fucking inbred bastards who think its fucking 42.

 

[Melkor]

Can't hear you!

I'm too busy practicing the combined arts of anal sex and atheism just outside your state boarders!

 

[NoID10ts]

Can't hear you!

I'm too busy practicing the combined arts of anal sex and atheism just outside your state boarders!

If you're just outside my borders, that means you're either in Mexico, Louisiana, New Mexico, Oklahoma, or Arkansas. Good luck with that.

If you're in Arkansas doing that sort of thing, you might just get yourself a God fearing husband and a daughter/sister with a cleft palette named Frank.

 

[Melkor]

Er, Mexico will do. It means I have two strapping young INTP's to participate in these esoteric arts of mine.

 

[NoID10ts]

Er, Mexico will do. It means I have two strapping young INTP's to participate in these esoteric arts of mine.

Oh yes, well I hear Mexico's wonderful this time of year.

​

​

 

[NoID10ts]

I responded, but my post got caught up in the filter. Must have been the man on horse porn I included.

When did this place become so uptight?

In the meantime, I shall engage in small talk. How's the weather there? Shitty I hope? How's your family? Have they attempted to kill and eat you yet? Have you ever had clamidia? Do you think Hilary Clinton has a penis? If God's cock is infinitely big, does that mean he could not get a hard on because it couldn't possibly get any bigger than it already is? (Am I doing this "small talk" right?)

 

[Melkor]

In the order you began with,

The weather is wet, angry and persistant. Rather like your wife when I leave her mid session.

My family have not yet attempted to kill me, though they insist on threatening me with death, they are too afraid to actual commit the act.

No, I have not. Being a virgin has it's perks you know.

I am unsure. The important question is, "What would I do, if I knew that Hilary Clinton had a penis?"

Uhm, well. Being a spiritual entity and personification of all that is holy, I suspect that while most theists wouldn't dignify your questions with an answer, they would agree that God lacks sexual organs altogether.
After all, the only authority on imaginary beasts are the ones who imagined them, right?

 

[NoID10ts]

In the order you began with,

The weather is wet, angry and persistant. Rather like your wife when I leave her mid session.

Now I know you're full of shit. No one leaves her mid session. The vaginal teeth won't allow it.

My family have not yet attempted to kill me, though they insist on threatening me with death, they are too afraid to actual commit the act.

They probably just haven't found the right recipe for your body yet. I'm sure the sweet embrace of death is close.

No, I have not. Being a virgin has it's perks you know.

You can still get clamidia even if you quit mid session, you know. And I'm not sure that makes you a virgin either.

I am unsure. The important question is, "What would I do, if I knew that Hilary Clinton had a penis?"

I'm pretty sure you'd masturbate.

Uhm, well. Being a spiritual entity and personification of all that is holy, I suspect that while most theists wouldn't dignify your questions with an answer, they would agree that God lacks sexual organs altogether.
After all, the only authority on imaginary beasts are the ones who imagined them, right?

Ahhhhhh, but if God has no cock, from whence cumeth his son?

 

[Melkor]

Now I know you're full of shit. No one leaves her mid session. The vaginal teeth won't allow it.

Charming.

Really...

They probably just haven't found the right recipe for your body yet. I'm sure the sweet embrace of death is close.

Not soon enough...it never is.

You can still get clamidia even if you quit mid session, you know. And I'm not sure that makes you a virgin either.

I think I need a badge for this purpose.

I'm pretty sure you'd masturbate.

I'm pretty sure thats false.

Ahhhhhh, but if God has no cock, from whence cumeth his son?

I believe at this point I inform you that God is capable of anything in any space of time. Thus, we are left to imagine what he might do.

 

[Minuend]

Spoiler

 

[NoID10ts]

Spoiler

View attachment 1368

Hmmmmmm, if this is true, we should have tried harder to chase off the ne'er do wells around here before they had a chance to get started.

Ooooo, ooooo, now my other post has appeared. It's beautiful!

 

[Melkor]

I do beleive the units in that graph are so informal as to be unscientific.

Invalid.

 

[Cavallier]

Oh shite. Melkor is going through a Hamlet phase. Somebody hide the children and the tableware.

 

[Melkor]

Hamlet you say?

I always liked that fellow, but I always related to Horatio better.

 

[NoID10ts]

but I always related to Horatio better.

Don't you mean fallatio?

 

[Melkor]

Quiet you, if you're going to insult me at least spell it right.

 

[NoID10ts]

Quiet you, if you're going to insult me at least spell it right.

I defer to the expert.

 

[Cavallier]

Hamlet you say?

I always liked that fellow, but I always related to Horatio better.

You related to the contrived plot device who does nothing but follow Hamlet around and then when Hamlet dies is conveniently there to tell the tale?

 

[Deleted member 1424]

You related to the contrived plot device who does nothing but follow Hamlet around and then when Hamlet dies is conveniently there to tell the tale?

Well intps are the passive do-nothing observers.

 

[Cavallier]

Touché.

Or to be a ridiculous dork, "A touch! A touch! I do confess!"






I'm in a weird mood today...

 

[Melkor]

Yes, that, and I played Horatio.

Tried Hamlet, but I just couldn't do it.

 

[Wish]

Yes, that, and I played Horatio.

Tried Hamlet, but I just couldn't do it.

Wait... are you still talking about filatio?

 

[Anthile]

Yes, that, and I played Horatio.

Tried Hamlet, but I just couldn't do it.

Is that so.

Spoiler

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWS7c21jOnI

 

[Cavallier]

If I was Frank I would start to consider suicide.

 

[Jesse]

Nice to know my intro thread got responses from well though posts that actually had something to do with the dam thread.

I see I'm going to fit in here more than I though

 

[The Gopher]

Nice to know my intro thread got responses from well though posts that actually had something to do with the dam thread.

I see I'm going to fit in here more than I though

Ohh yeah you will. I don't because everyone hates me (queenslander) and such.

 

[Melkor]

Quiet you, if you're going to insult me at least spell it right.

Of spelling, fellatio, or both?

 

[NoID10ts]

Are you talking to yourself again?

 

[Melkor]

Ah, no, I suppose I clicked the wrong quote button.

Clever.

 

[NoID10ts]

Of spelling, fellatio, or both?

If this was directed at me, then both I suppose.

I learned how to spell from the King James Version of the Bible which was conspicuously lacking in the word "fellatio". Which brings me fulll circle to my newly formed atheist argument that I have named the"God's Cock Paradox" previously mentioned in this thread which shall soon be enshrined in the annals of religious and philosophical history.

 

[Melkor]

It sounds like poppycock to me.

 

[nexion]

What... the fuck... is wrong with this thread?

 

[The Gopher]

Something something real bad...

 

[nexion]

Melkor and Noddy should not be allowed to post in the same thread. That is all.

Also, I loved the graph too much. If they had done that in my intro thread, I would have instantly regarded this entire forum as worthless and otherwise dangerous to my rapidly depleting sanity, if I have any at all.

Maybe that's it. I'm the only insane one on this forum, and everyone else if perfectly normal.

 

[NoID10ts]

What do you mean "what's wrong with this thread?"


There's nothing wrong with this thread.


Nothing at all.


Except Melkor.

 

[loveofreason]

Well, this brings back memories.

Welcome, new guy. You're the first person in many many a moon to experience this kind of greeting from the royal court jesters.

 

[nexion]

What do you mean "what's wrong with this thread?"


There's nothing wrong with this thread.


Nothing at all.


Except Melkor.

You misquoted me. Don't do it again.

 

[NoID10ts]

You squirted me. Don't do it again.

I don't think I squirted you.


And love, don't act all innocent you little harpie.

 

[Tyria]

It's good to have Noddy back.

Welcome Jesse. Good to have you here.

 

[nexion]

I don't think I squirted you.


And love, don't act all innocent you little harpie.

You squirted me about five times, you... you... lackey.

()

 

[Tyria]

Well, this brings back memories.

Welcome, new guy. You're the first person in many many a moon to experience this kind of greeting from the royal court jesters.

They remind me of a comedic dynamic duo for some reason. They really feed off of each other well; it's refreshing to see them back together again.

It reminds me of some of the posts from the early days of the forum that I've been browsing... the instant classics.

 

[loveofreason]

Noddy+Melkor=Classic.

Strange how true talent and wit can excuse almost anything. Almost.

(I am not a harpie you... you little blue squid.)

Jesse, I can't help but notice your t's seem to fall off your thoughts. Or is this a symptom of never quite finishing a thought?