Amnesiac Greetings

[NoID10ts]

Hello.

Long time reader, first time poster. I think.

Unfortunately, I have amnesia brought on by an overly aggressive sex partner that beat me about the head and shoulders with a three foot dildo when I refused to hold a razor between my teeth and shave my own crotch. That I remember. Everything else is a blur.

I like long walks in the park, especially when women are jogging with their bouncing and jiggling and sometimes I chase them and catch them and put them in the trunk of my car and make skin hats out of their asses. It passes the time.

I have a wonderful family. They're in the freezer. Still not sure whose family they are, but when I find out, I'll reunite them. In my freezer.

My hobbies include making self portraits with the entrails of dead kittens, public doughnut humping, and singing in the showers of random strangers.

I live in the sewers beneath Houston, Texas, I make my living harvesting kidneys from the homeless, and I'm masturbating as I type this.

Oh, and I love, love, love, love, loooooooooooove Jesus!

Will you be my friend?

 

[Helvete]

I smell a rat... Hi

Sent from my GT-S5839i using Tapatalk 2

 

[Cognisant]

I want you in my VTTRPG now!

 

[Jennywocky]

Unfortunately, I have amnesia brought on by an overly aggressive sex partner that beat me about the head and shoulders with a three foot dildo when I refused to hold a razor between my teeth and shave my own crotch. That I remember. Everything else is a blur.

It was three and a half feet -- I would never reward my li'l Noddy with anything less!

(If you can't even remember the basic facts, I shall just cut out the hot-fudge-and-curry bodypainting parties -- utilizing shaved weasels as paintbrushs -- altogether.)

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

Hello,

Is this the proper venue for placing an order?

If so, I would like to purchase two kidneys from you. They need to match blood type AB- and come from a bum who had a taste for Mad Dog 20/20 Peach "wine".

Note: I will be testing to make sure it is AB- at least 3 times. AB+ tastes disgusting and I will hunt you down for my money back if you try anything shady.

 

[NoID10ts]

I smell a rat... Hi

I use dead rats to enhance my phallic profile when I wear tight jeans. This one is getting a little ripe.

I want you in my VTTRPG now!

That's not a word, it's just a bunch of consonants you illiterate turd.

It was three and a half feet -- I would never reward my li'l Noddy with anything less!

(If you can't even remember the basic facts, I shall just cut out the hot-fudge-and-curry bodypainting parties -- utilizing shaved weasels as paintbrushs -- altogether.)

Na-uh. You made me swallow half a foot of it first, remember? I do like the shaved weasels especially when you douse them in baby oil. I'm getting chills just thinking about it.

Hello,

Is this the proper venue for placing an order?

If so, I would like to purchase two kidneys from you. They need to match blood type AB- and come from a bum who had a taste for Mad Dog 20/20 Peach "wine".

Note: I will be testing to make sure it is AB- at least 3 times. AB+ tastes disgusting and I will hunt you down for my money back if you try anything shady.

I'll have them there in thirty minutes or less, money back guarantee. Of course, you'll be paying me in lungs.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

Lungs? Seriously?

I usually throw them out as they have no discernable nutritional value and the texture is just grody. But whatever floats your boat. I hear the trashman coming down the block so I better go dig them out real quick. Take as many as you think fair and leave the kidneys in their place. I got to get to work.

ps: Wait, you're not going to eat them are you? You're going to use them as some kind of anal implants so they act like a built in whoopie cushion aren't you? You are a genius.

 

[NoID10ts]

Whoopie cushions are so last year. I'm making bagpipes!

 

[Jennywocky]

Och, and wah a wayz tah make a whoopie whistle out yer blattinous buttoms!!!

Scootlind deh Brave brings teahs to ma eyes.

 

[Rook]

Welcome New Member.
I hope you enjoy your time here, spreading love and kindness.
Feel free to participate, and may God bless you.

 

[NoID10ts]

I saw these items in the general rules:

In Threads & Posts:

High-frequency of low-substance posting
Me-too threads/posts without substance
Necroing threads frivolously
Constant adolescent relationship drama
Attention whoring threads
Abusing image memes
Useless or unfunny one-liners
Largely incoherent posts of excessive length
Spilling out arguments and personal feuds over unrelated threads

The ones highlighted in blue make me wonder how I've lasted as long as I have here.

 

[Cognisant]

We had a special set of rules just for you written down so we wouldn't forget.

Now where are they

 

[Jennywocky]

We had a special set of rules just for you written down so we wouldn't forget.

Now where are they

I bet BAP had them in his back pocket. Arrrggg...

 

[loveofreason]

Fuck a duck. Just when the neighbourhood was looking good.

 

[NoID10ts]

Fuck a duck? Oh man, I guess my "home movies" have gone viral again. Just so you know, it was totally consensual.

 

[redbaron]

I like long walks in the park, especially when women are jogging with their bouncing and jiggling and sometimes I chase them and catch them and put them in the trunk of my car and make skin hats out of their asses. It passes the time.

Oh good, I thought it was just me who did that. I tried explaining to my colleagues that it's a completely normal human desire to turn asses into hats, but they just stared at me all funny like.

HEY! Why don't we make each other matching asshats?

 

[NoID10ts]

Oh good, I thought it was just me who did that. I tried explaining to my colleagues that it's a completely normal human desire to turn asses into hats, but they just stared at me all funny like.

HEY! Why don't we make each other matching asshats?

Sure! Next time I stalk twins I'll let you know!

*squeals with delight*

 

[Fukyo]

Hello.

Long time reader, first time poster. I think.

Unfortunately, I have amnesia brought on by an overly aggressive sex partner that beat me about the head and shoulders with a three foot dildo when I refused to hold a razor between my teeth and shave my own crotch. That I remember. Everything else is a blur.

I live in the sewers beneath Houston, Texas, I make my living harvesting kidneys from the homeless, and I'm masturbating as I type this.


I live in the sewers beneath Houston, Texas


in the sewers beneath Houston, Texas



beneath Houston, Texas



Houston, Texas





Texas

Does this bring back anything?

(slightly nsfw)

Spoiler

 

[NoID10ts]

In Texas, that's exactly how we decide who pays for lunch.

 

[Jennywocky]

Fuck a duck. Just when the neighbourhood was looking good.

It's a veritable orgy of feathery goodness!! Yegads!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hxlg5unYTyU

 

[(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

It's a veritable orgy of feathery goodness!! Yegads!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNf0QT9r97I