Is this at all a common trait here?

[QuickTwist]

I am starting to feel something I haven't felt in a while. Depression. Now some of you might not even know what I am talking about when I say this, but I am actually glad that I have this feeling of melancholy mixed with sadness and despair without a hint of remorse about it. You see for the longest time I was completely numb. Yes there was a certain level of excitement in what I was doing, but it felt like complete pointlessness looking back on it. Feeling this way again, I remember why it felt so comfortable. It was because it was real. There is nothing in this world to get exited about; it is filled with hardship, emptiness and no real rhyme or reason behind anything. At the same time I am glad because it is the unifying emotion that everyone experiences some time in their life. I admit it took some time before I viewed this experience of being as a good thing. At first it was just extreme hopelessness, but now I see that it is actually the most fundamental emotion an intelligent beings can experience.

So I pose a question to you. Have you ever been glad that you were sad? If so, state why so that more people can understand what its like for this experience to happen.

 

[Reluctantly]

Only when I use depression as a way to avoid frustration or to not give a fuck. I guess it's kind of useful in that regard, just as long as it doesn't go on too long.

 

[Bock]

You're not despairing if there's even a slight hint of happiness/optimism.

 

[cloud_way]

I agree with Bock; despair is the complete loss of hope. You won't see the silver lining of depression during the time you're trudging through it.

 

[Grayman]

Emptiness, numbness, and the meaninglessness of everything is real depression. Sadness is just sadness but it is good because it means life finally has meaning. I've experienced sadness in a way that had real depth in a way that even the trees seem to mourn... There was a time that I needed to feel sad and simply experience it and that is okay. Eventually I had to pull it together and get back to life but it was an experience that was necessary. I guess it was a stepping stone in my internal struggle.

 

[QuickTwist]

Emptiness, numbness, and the meaninglessness of everything is real depression. Sadness is just sadness but it is good because it means life finally has meaning. I've experienced sadness in a way that had real depth in a way that even the trees seem to mourn... There was a time that I needed to feel sad and simply experience it and that is okay. Eventually I had to pull it together and get back to life but it was an experience that was necessary. I guess it was a stepping stone in my internal struggle.

Did you cry Greyman?

I feel like crying would be good for me as a way to release endorphin's that would make me feel better. I've had many times where I have felt angst/emotional pain which caused me to break down and cry, but this is something different. Its more like that sadness you were talking about. I guess its not true despair because I can see that it is a good thing though I'm not so sure anymore. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live either. I think it happened because I finally recognized some of my patterns I have and realized that my dreams were never going to happen and even if they did, it wouldn't be all that great. Then I realized that life sucks and its just all the same old same old repeating itself.*shrug*

 

[Grayman]

Did you cry Greyman?

I feel like crying would be good for me as a way to release endorphin's that would make me feel better. I've had many times where I have felt angst/emotional pain which caused me to break down and cry, but this is something different. Its more like that sadness you were talking about. I guess its not true despair because I can see that it is a good thing though I'm not so sure anymore. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live either. I think it happened because I finally recognized some of my patterns I have and realized that my dreams were never going to happen and even if they did, it wouldn't be all that great. Then I realized that life sucks and its just all the same old same old repeating itself.*shrug*

Yes, I cried all the time for a week. I sought out tears with sad music and simple nature during long walks. It i s an odd feeling to be sad and also feel something of relief. I think after being depressed for so long it was like every tear made me more human again.

 

[Black Rose]

i get sad when i get stuck, or when i feel like i can not learn anymore because of mental fogginess. crying brings relief but you can cry on the inside and have relief but when it gets stuck it feels horrible because you cannot cry on the inside or the outside. anxiety and sadness and metal fog together is really bad. metal clarity is really good because i can learn and do new things and enjoy things. when i have mental clarity purpose and meaning seem to come back otherwise it seems i cannot go on because purpose and meaning is the doing and feeling good. it fluctuates but i am getting stuck less often now as i get older and know how to get unstuck but i cannot control my mood all the time i simply need to rest.

 

[TheManBeyond]

I get sad when i meet someone because they show me tons of real life achievements and when i compare these to mine i feel like an ant.
My friends always tell me i have a inferiority complex. I always think to myself, how could anyone see something interesting in me without them being guided by impulses, delusions or loneliness.
That makes me feel bad, also i wish i was more upbeat and talkative.
Not so passive about people and things that happen around me.
And i hate that people see relationships as a give take thing, i'm not a goddamn deal you big fishes of wall street and i refuse to invest in the stock market. Fuck you all. period.

 

[Grayman]

i get sad when i get stuck, or when i feel like i can not learn anymore because of mental fogginess. crying brings relief but you can cry on the inside and have relief but when it gets stuck it feels horrible because you cannot cry on the inside or the outside. anxiety and sadness and metal fog together is really bad. metal clarity is really good because i can learn and do new things and enjoy things. when i have mental clarity purpose and meaning seem to come back otherwise it seems i cannot go on because purpose and meaning is the doing and feeling good. it fluctuates but i am getting stuck less often now as i get older and know how to get unstuck but i cannot control my mood all the time i simply need to rest.

Where does the fog come from?

 

[Grayman]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vodd6C5ryUU

 

[Black Rose]

Where does the fog come from?

i think it is neurological or my diet

 

[QuickTwist]

A note on true despair: True despair means you have lost the will to live, so no eating, sleeping, taking care of basic needs in general and overall just waiting to die, which would come relatively quick as I understand it.

 

[QuickTwist]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vodd6C5ryUU

Nope, I still can't cry.

 

[StevenM]

I don't cry. Too tough for that shit.

 

[QuickTwist]

I don't cry. Too tough for that shit.

If you think you are "too tough" to cry, you have not been depressed enough or hit a breaking point extreme enough to realize that it makes you feel better. I don't think I am too tough to cry, I simply can't cry. I wish I could.

 

[Tristitian]

If you think you are "too tough" to cry, you have not been depressed enough or hit a breaking point extreme enough to realize that it makes you feel better. I don't think I am too tough to cry, I simply can't cry. I wish I could.

I thought the same thing for a long time. The discovery of heartbreak changed my mind. To truly know sadness, one must first know extreme happiness.