Wow so many responses already, this is great! Thanks for taking the time to read, guys.
You really seem like a nice guy.
I'm genuinely looking forward to any further posts you may make.
Well thanks! I'm surprised you can say that after reading just a few sentences I scrawled down haha.
What are dark alleyways like?
In my experience, they usually look something like this:
You seem too healthy and well adjusted to be an intp.
Well, I have become pretty good at "mirroring" socially acceptable behavior haha. You must keep in mind that this is simply a conversation over the internet; in reality, I might come across as different. Truth be told, I have had my fair share of internal struggles and tribulations. I have long had what I believe to be borderline social anxiety or phobia. Meeting new people and speaking to strangers is quite stressful for me, and I probably often come across as socially awkward or inept. I constantly think about what others are thinking about me or how they might be judging me, and as a result I can't concentrate on the conversation and probably come across as an idiot. This has led to me being very self-conscious and having very low self-esteem. It has gotten so bad, in fact, that I became a psychological hypochondriac and began to suspect that I have Asperger's Syndrome or that I might be a psychopath or something lol. This was fairly recently, and I still have my suspicions. I am CONSTANTLY second-guessing myself and am terrified of making mistakes for some reason (I know it doesn't make sense, but I can't help it, so trying to reason with me won't help). This leads to an appearance of low self-confidence. So I'm so sorry to disappoint you all, but I am not the "one," and I will be taking the blue pill, thanks very much. Altogether, though, I consider myself a happy person: I have some great friends and a loving family and I go to a great university. What more could I ask for? Life is good. People who know me well are always quick to point out how overly optimistic and goofy I always am. I can often get into melancholy moods but I always cover them up and hide them inside so nobody else knows - I found that I'm pretty good at doing that too.
That's not the norm here (but I like some too). So what do you like and what about them appeals to you?
I was an extremely active kid, always running around and climbing things, and naturally, my parents enrolled me in a multitude of sports. Also, I should have clarified. I love INDIVIDUAL sports. I don't really like team sports as much because I always feel responsible if something goes wrong haha. That being said, I have attempted almost every team sport known to man: hockey, basketball, tennis, soccer, lacrosse, water polo, you name it. I was constantly jumping from one to a new one because I'd get bored. I'd reach a certain level of proficiency but didn't have enough interest or motivation to keep going to practices and become really really good at anything. In a way, I have become a "jack of all trades." I digress. What really makes me tick is individual sports, where my own success is up to me. As a result, recently some endurance sports like long-distance swimming, running, and triathlons have attracted my interest. Training can become mundane, but what keeps me coming back is the fact that I can do one of my favorite things to do during practices: thinking. I find that physical activity clears my mind like no other, its almost like a drug. All my worries and cares disappear, and I can finally think clearly about my day and other happenings. I feel like if I did not have some sort of physical activity in my life, I would become depressed and go insane, or worse haha.
What do you want to learn about? (Don't say everything, you can't do that.)
What if I do want to know about everything haha? I would have to say that my current pursuits of knowledge involve philosophy and religion. I had my existential crisis at the relatively early age of 13 or 14, and that has left me in kind of spiritually dead, almost agnostic state. I was raised as a Roman Catholic and went to a Catholic school, so I know plenty about religion, but something about religion just doesn't seem to want to agree with my intellect. I suppose it comes down to making that leap of faith in regard to the existence of God, which I find difficult as I consider myself a logical and rational person, to whom empirical evidence is paramount. I go to Church, but I often feel like a hypocrite because I am simply going through the motions and not having any actual spiritual or emotional experiences like the other people seem to be having. Well, that about sums up my current religious situation. What are you guys' opinions on religion? I'd be extremely interested to hear.
Geez that was a mouthful. I guess I'm just in a writing mood today. I apologize for the wordiness of this post, probably not a good start to my forum career. Again, thanks so much for taking the time to read and respond, I greatly appreciate it!
