Firefighting: Spinning off from 'anger' thread

[EditorOne]

OK, moving this to a separate thread so Sweetheart can stay on track with anger.


"No altruism on the job, but what got you there in the first place? Idk, maybe I just don't want to let go of my idealization of the profession. Do you see it as a positive way to contribute to your community?" -- Grey Man

What got me there was my availability, the appeal of logic, a request for me to join, and a desire on my part to learn something new AND, very importantly, DO something. I already was friends with several members, the chief was a family friend, they pointed out that since I was a journalist working irregular hours, I was frequently available during daytime when many members were working out-of-district. We're talking a small fire company. Membership also eased a frustration: As a newspaper reporter, I covered all kinds of stuff but never got a chance to do anything. In fact the paper didn't want reporters to have any community involvement, to preserve the claim of objectivity. (They were annoyed I'd joined the fire company, for instance.)
I joined when a particularly bad and fatal fire drove a multi-year crusade for new training and new equipment. New ideas and acutely painful analyses of procedures were welcome: Perfect for an INTP personality, although at the time I wasn't even aware of INTP-ness, just thought I was an odd duck.

 

[QuickTwist]

Are you currently a lawyer?

 

[The Grey Man]

So it "made sense" for you, as is so often the case with any job, and it offered you a chance to be useful and active, but ethos wasn't as big a part of it as it might be with military or law enforcement.

 

[EditorOne]

"Interesting. I must be weird because I was in wrestling (which is very demanding physically, more that most people will know unless they participate in it) and one thing I noticed is that when there is high demand physically it is best to curb your adrenaline. Sure the moments leading up to a match were nerve racking to put it mildly, but once you start, it is better to focus on what you have to accomplish and cannot be bothered to be overly concerned in the "rush" because it will cause you to make a mistake. So I would argue that a rational mind when engaging in highly stressful actions physically is almost always the better choice. You can do this with practice. So I ask a question: Do we really need adrenaline? " - Quick Twist

I never got the adrenaline from wrestling except when I broke a friend's collar bone, and that was from fear (fear of consequences for hurting someone, it was horsing around not at a match). Fires and car wrecks, however, got my adrenaline going, and it was very useful for the physical exertion. Going into a respectably burning building with heavy smoke, with a heavy fire hose and 30 pounds of protective gear, in a mask with an air tank, linked by touch to two other guys on the hose is mostly like trying to navigate blind through a giant, very hot clothes drier while it is spinning and making a noise like a jet engine. It was simply necessary to detach from the adrenaline drama to make decisions, do it, see if it worked, and adjust the decisions. Adrenaline helped move the hose, getting angry at the fire channeled the adrenaline into 'fight' rather than 'flight.' Make sense?

 

[QuickTwist]

Right, cuz I've never seen someone get their neck broken in a wrestling match. I suppose that means its not as dangerous as a firefighter. There is a difference between "horsing around" and being trained to physically control people. I have some experience I bet you would consider dangerous. Also, people handle adrenaline differently. You handle it by getting angry, I don't. That doesn't mean I go into flight.

 

[QuickTwist]

Also, there is a reason why I don't "explode" too often. Its because I am scared of what I will do if I do. I place a lot of priority on not totally loosing it and in the process doing something that will land me in prison.

[Edit] basically, I have extreme rage issues and I don't let that get out if it at all can be helped. Make sense?

 

[EditorOne]

What you said makes perfect sense. Uncontrolled rage is bad. When it was bad with me when I was young I'd punch out windows. Not productive. Your approach is ideal.
Wrestling was not a serious pursuit with me. I enjoyed it because I could compete with some success in high school, just from lucky physical attributes. One of my dorm mates wrestled in college; I went to watch a couple of times and found it terrifying.

I am not a lawyer. I'm a public insurance adjuster: I get money for people who have had home damage and have an insurance company that doesn't want to honor its promises. In other words, "God's work." Kind of a licensed Robin Hood or Travis McGee.

 

[QuickTwist]

BTW, I was not saying that to try and scare you. I just know what extreme rage feels like and I try to avoid it at all costs.

[Edit] Also I haven't done anything I regret too much so that is a good sign in my book.