Cringe emotional post by me.

[Drvladivostok]

I just figured out I'm somewhat of an emotional guy, it's just that I don't have a very reliable way of channeling or expressing my emotions, so I just keep it vaulted inside the heart.

I've been called aloof, insensitive, emotionless, emotionally confusing, and indifferent all my life, I'm not the most socially outgoing guy so I guess it doesn't help, I believe that a man or woman ought to look at things logically and keep his or her emotions to himself.

But I always felt this switch in me, I would get irrationally angry when being nagged, suddenly sad when reading a sob story, I feel like my emotions lie under a plate armor, nearly impearmable when facing against blunt force or slashing, but certain percise stabs would make me bleed profusely.

The thing is I can't take of the Armor even if I tried. I fear that this will impede me in making any meaningful romantic human connection, decades of social reciprocation (family) and emotional connection through intellectual means (friends) have been successfully made, and even then I still occasionally struggle in maintaining an emotional output, but romance seem like one aspect where I'm in an emotional deadlock, though I'm trying with this girl.

Last night it all clicked; I was reading a book about a mother who's been sepparated from her children for decades, she faced a hard life with her fanatic christian husband while her daughter is being raised by a foster parents, she wrote her daughter (soon to be 18) a letter on how she loved her so much, that she missed her daughter so much that it was hard to keep going, and an encouragement to live life to the fullest.

Reading that story invoke something in me, I had to look away and close the book I find myself lying down in my bed, and then I began to weep.

Inb4 INFP mistype.

 

[birdsnestfern]

Kudos, because crying can be good. Perhaps its a breakthrough. And we can grow from it or use it! Strong emotions CAN be channeled into art forms, music, poetry, writing, or self growth, many things. It clears the air!

We try to act kind and hide our feelings to be polite in society and I think thats good for others, not always good for us. But it is healthy to express things if we feel strongly about something. INTP can have very strong emotions, but we keep it inside because we we don't have that instant awareness of how to read a room as we enter it based how we act or what we say, I think.

Thats much better than if someone just blurts things out and talks a mile a minute about anything and everything, and blames others regardless of what they themselves do, ie, some people have no self awareness of their own faults at all. No ability to assess themselves with honesty, ie, you can tell if someone is autistic or narcissicist based on their bragging. The Narcissist brags about themselves and never cuts themselves down. The autistic person sometimes brags about themselves, but also can cut themselves down in front of others, with honest self assessment.

No, its not weakness to be emotional at all. Kudos!

 

[Cognisant]

It's normal for an INTP at a funeral to be emotionally numb and only be able to mourn when they're alone, that's just how we are.

 

[Puffy]

I used to be emotionally flat and armoured and it took a lot of time and effort but I’d now say I’m pretty emotional, I’ll cry at something most weeks. I still shut down and find it hard to access emotion around others sometimes but there’s nonetheless been increasing moments where I have been with my emotions while with others in the last year.

I think it’s just early childhood conditioning tbh and that these things will unfold for you as you learn to feel safer with your emotions.

 

[Old Things]

Great thread! The responses have been good, too!

There was a period of my life where I was very reactionary and thought I was not an emotional person, but that proved to be wrong. IDK what it was exactly, but at some point I just started allowing myself to be moved by things. As @Puffy mentions, I used to not cry at all. Now, it is a somewhat regular experience for me. Crying is a healthy thing that all humans should experience from time to time. I still don't cry around people. I have not been able to let my guard down that much as I would feel embarrassed crying around other people. However, my capacity for emotions like joy and happiness has also increased. I also find that I am moved to tears, not just from sad things but happy things as well. I am more of an emotional person today--both good and bad emotions, and this is healthy since it is not good to bottle up emotions. That doesn't mean you need to act on every emotion, just that you allow yourself to experience the emotion. Self-control is important, especially when it comes to anger, because if people don't keep themselves in check, then a lot of people could get hurt due to a lack of self-control.

 

[Drvladivostok]

I still don't cry around people. I have not been able to let my guard down that much as I would feel embarrassed crying around other people. However, my capacity for emotions like joy and happiness has also increased. I also find that I am moved to tears, not just from sad things but happy things as well. I am more of an emotional person today--both good and bad emotions, and this is healthy since it is not good to bottle up emotions. That doesn't mean you need to act on every emotion, just that you allow yourself to experience the emotion. Self-control is important, especially when it comes to anger, because if people don't keep themselves in check, then a lot of people could get hurt due to a lack of self-control.

I never cry around people either, and I tend to have a high tolerance towards negative emotions that directly occurs to me, like I can easily dissasociate when shit happens to me and signs of sadness or anger starts to emerge, "being sad doesn't fix any problem" , but when I'm alone and I observe other people experiencing and feeling negative experince I can easily empathize.

It's as if I can experience emotions easier via third person POV, it's hard to explain the sensation.

 

[scorpiomover]

I just figured out I'm somewhat of an emotional guy, it's just that I don't have a very reliable way of channeling or expressing my emotions, so I just keep it vaulted inside the heart.

Understood.

I've been called aloof, insensitive, emotionless, emotionally confusing, and indifferent all my life, I'm not the most socially outgoing guy so I guess it doesn't help, I believe that a man or woman ought to look at things logically and keep his or her emotions to himself.

True. But you can express them with words. E.G. the example you cited about the mother who wrote her daughter a letter. This gives you the ability to express everything you want to say, while also adding in the extra sensitivity that you're also considering their feelings on the matter, and their feelings about what you're saying to them.

You probably know this, but are struggling to find the right words to say, without being incredibly offensive. I find ChatGPT is quite good at writing things out in this way, and is also good at telling you how to express them verbally.

I (and others) have found that the key with ChatGPT is "the more detail, the better". The more details you give ChatGPT about the situation, and themore you explain the points you wish to include, the better the answer it gives you.