I don't think jumping from character concept to concept is going to help. You keep seeming to think there is some magic combination that will make your toon the best, instead of actually bothering to learn and play the game as a low-level character. Some things, you learn by doing and sticking them out. You showed this pattern as a GM too, you don't seem to have a lot of patience for the game.
Let's face it, if there were some magical build at low levels, everyone would be playing it.
That being said, let me analyze some stuff in your post in more detail:
1. What if an enemy AOE's or ambushes us?
Good question. But we're level 1 characters and the GM scales the encounters. By the time we get to a point where the baddies are AOE'ing us, you should have enough spells and hit points to take an AOE and live (if barely) and otherwise have other spells to use that will help counter / protect the group, and of course the other spellcasters in the group including clerics will ALSO have the ability to buff/protect, which we'll need to be doing to defend against such things.
Also, our game strategy will develop to target such people. You should realize by now that casters can trigger AOOs if they are too close to combat and will have to make concentration checks, etc. i.e., there's a lot of ways built into the game that make it harder for spellcasters that a party can use. Of course, those strategies can be used against us as well. But unless your GM is a dick, it will be balanced fairly.
As far as ambush goes, we will need to be watching for this. We'll need to use spells to search around, use our heads, send scouts, and boost our perception.
2. You are gaining experience in builds, yes, by actually playing. Talk to the GM. If you fuck up your build out of inexperience, often the GM will let you tweak it rather than just ditching the character. I did this at 6th level with my rogue, actually, in another campaign; due to my still trying to grasp the intricacy of the game mechanics, my build didn't go in the way that would be useful, and he let me rebuild.
But some of this -- read the descriptions more carefully. Hypnosis for example specifically says (and it makes sense) that the targets have to be able to understand you. You seem very rational sometimes in game in determining what should be possible, then miss something simply like "How can you tell a critter what to do, if you can't speak their language?" The spell descriptions usually spell everything out. I guess you didn't really grasp that a touch attack for a spell effect is pretty sucky in an actual combat situation, unless you can get in and out without being slammed. You have to find a way to disable your enemy first, THEN touch attack... or make sure your touch attack kills them outright, etc.
3. max/min'ing your character also can bite you in the ass, if you don't pad your char out all around. For example, if you want to be combat proficient, maybe you can get away with it in the first level or two, but your BAB is much less than a fighter, and you even took minuses to hit probably due to low strength. You're a spellcaster. I think Greg is pretty crazy but pretty hilarious -- he totally accepts he gets minuses to hit and chose to boost his AC and actually still sneaks in there, and accepts he can't do much damage if any. You gotta accept the limitation. Everything in the game has limitations as part of balance.
For example, sorcs can cast spells on the fly but have a smaller pool. The wizard has to pre-choose all his spells for the day but has a larger number available in the spellbook. Realistically at low levels, you just won't have a ton of spells. So you have to use them judiciously and have some other skills to contribute with. For example, Greg threw out caltrops. It was a round of doing something useful. Think of things you can do to help level the playing field, even if you're not casting spells.
4. For your archer, please read the rules or ask questions. I won't do a full detailed review of it tonight, but for example Mage Armor is an armor buff, so it does not stack with other armor... you cannot wear leather + use mage armor. A +4 is nice at low levels, but at higher levels you'll start getting smacked... yet wearing heavier armor might interfere with your Dex bonuses and mobility; and if you choose Mage Armor, it will take the place of another spell that you could do something else with. [I'm not even sure what Iron Skin is - it's not on the wiz/sorc list. There is a hobgoblin monk ability that scales, and a feat that gives a nat armor +1 bonus to dwarfs, orcs, and half-orcs. But not elves.]
If you have a spellcaster that needs to cast buffs, note that that will take you a few rounds to 'gear up' if you rely on too many of those buff spells. Mage Armor you can have up for a decent amount of time, but Cat's Grace won't last very long. YOu don't want to spend the first three rounds of combat buffing up.
Wizards do not get a lot of weapons, although it looks like being an elf might give you a longbow prof for free. Anyway, please look at the weapon charts and just read the class description. (Note: I don't think kukri is on the list either.)
Wizards are proficient with the club, dagger, heavy crossbow, light crossbow, and quarterstaff, but not with any type of armor or shield. Armor interferes with a wizard's movements, which can cause his spells with somatic components to fail.
To be effective as an archer, you need feats. Your first two feats probably will be point-blank range + precision shooting (or whatever), so that you can actually shoot into combat while not taking a -4 to hit. And so on... if you want to be effective at archery, trust me, you'll need feats. Human fighters get the most feats; if you're a fighter/mage or a wizard, and especially non-human, you won't have the feats to be effective once the monsters start getting stronger... and like I said, WIZARD BABs SUCK. Your fighter's BAB is +1 per level. At level ten your fighter has a +10 just from her class, your wizard will have a +5... and you will be trying to shoot critters that are level 10 and higher, and will either have to buff your ass off, spend tons of gold on lots of magic, or complain because you can't hit things that your average level 10 fighter will hit regularly.
Note also how you want to be a better fighter as a wizard class than a FIGHTER is. (I took human fighter so I could actually buy all the feats I needed to be effective at double kukri's, for example. Without TWF, for example, you're at -6 and -10 to start with. I barely will have enough feats even as the most feat-intensive race/class combo in the game to be truly effective and not die at high levels.) The game is balanced so each class is good at some things and bad at some things; you have to accept the limitations. You don't seem to know the game well enough yet to realize what the limitations of each class/race are yet.
So here you are again, having this great plan for a character -- and that's how we learn -- but you will get frustrated again when your concept doesn't play the way you'd hope because you're still learning game mechanics.
I think you just need to settle in and PLAY for awhile and learn the game, and it will help you get a better sense of how builds work out and what is possible. Patience is a virtue...!