To Be Inspired

[Gather_Wanderer]

I've reached a point of stagnation in my life. I've never known exactly what i wanted to be growing up and had many different interests. Never dd well in school because of this; had no clear vision and class wasn't much of a challenge. didn't try.
Never went off to a university like the rest of my peers. did try a community college for 2 years. while there was invited and participated in an internship at northwestern university for journalism. had an opportunity to attend the school but didn't pursue it (not interested in a journalism career). semesters have been on and off with good and bad grades, never great ones.
the spring semester started at my school weeks ago but i didn't have enough money to register. now, i'm back sitting at home. i've got a part-time job that i go to on the weekends. i work out religiously 5 days a week (i enjoy this). i watch sports games and read the occasional book, not as much as i used to. i'm only 22 now but i feel a lot older. years ago i had great dreams, even without a clear path, but now i've got....nothing.

i feel like i'm dying inside. i hate being home, and by home, i mean in this chicago area that i grew up in. my older brother is here right now and i can't stand him. he takes advantage of my parents and is the most annoying and worthless person i know. brings "things" around here that should not be around here and my folks won't do anything about it. i have younger brothers here too and i hate his influence. i am much his superior physically and could crush him and came close once recently until the family had to stop me. it's almost unbearable being here with him and knowing the crap things that he does but yet and still i can't do a thing; this isn't my house and i can't just beat him down.

the last few years i've had a strong desire to pick up and start traveling. costs a lot of money obviously and without the school programs to get into to obtain inexpensive plane tickets and such, i can only do so much. i don't know what to do anymore. i do know i want and need a way to become completely independent of anyone, to be able to move around more freely. i've thought about joining the armed forces for years and to this day i'm contemplating whether or not the experience is worth it. i may not have a lifelong career in anything but if i can create a lifestyle in which i have freedom to think and move, not worrying about the necessities.....that would be my only goal for the next few years. i need a path somehow to certified education and a sufficient enough income to create the lifestyle i'm looking for.

i just need something to get the wheels spinning in my head again. i shouldn't be like this and every day that passes, i get more and more sick. my father has been talking to me about this and is trying to encourage me to be patient and avoid doing anything drastic (joining military, stuff along those lines) but i feel i have to do something now. if i can't make a move now, i at least HAVE to have a light at the end of the tunnel, meaning i have to be able to see an outcome from, say, 5 years from now, and steps to get there. i need inspiration. i need....something.

 

[Da Blob]

Sounds like a few years in the military might be the thing for you right now. Much of that lifestyle is not pleasant, but is rather more like taking medicine. If nothing else the military will pay for an education, provide opportunities for travel etc. However, one still has to submit to being in a "House" that belongs to another and one is not free to do many things that one might wish to do.
However, I have known a few people, that fell in love with the lifestyle of the US Air Force and the military life of an officer suited them quite well. One may wish to investigate what ROTC has to offer...

 

[lafmeche]

I'm not sure I agree, Da Blob. Don't misunderstand... I have tremendous respect for the military and there is some history in my family - Marines and Navy. However, I think military service is a decision that one should come to on his own, and only after a lot of consideration. It's something you should do because you want to and should not be used as a means to an end.

Especially at this time in the world, odds are quite good you'll go somewhere and/ or do things you're not going to like if you join the military (granted that might change by the time OP gets done with training/school) and that's not to be taken lightly. If you don't strongly believe that what you're doing is right, it could haunt you for a long time.

(I'm not trying to discourage military service. Just be sure that you do it for the right reasons.)

As far as advice, I'd say you need to stop and really think about what you enjoy doing and try to make it a bigger part of your life. If you can make money doing these things, even better.

Don't let your family or society shoehorn you into an education just because it's what's expected or 'correct'. I know plenty of people that got fancy degrees and ended up working menial jobs because they couldn't stand their field. Again, make sure you're going to school for the right reasons and that you study something that you find interesting and useful.

My personal experience:
When I was younger (hell, I still do it), I took everything apart that I could get my hands on, especially machines and electronic toys. I loved building toys (ie. Legos) and was very interested in how things worked. All things. When the time came for me to work on my future, I was lucky enough to get money (along with extra loans...yay) from a small but reputable college, where I studied mechanical engineering.

Now, I basically do the adult/career version of what I described above. I do engineering and quality assurance for a small manufacturing firm. My job is primarily to find and fix problems with both machines and processes. Prior to this, I took new and rebuilt machines, fixed them up, figured how they work, and put them into service.

So again, what do you like?

 

[Gather_Wanderer]

I'm not sure I agree, Da Blob. Don't misunderstand... I have tremendous respect for the military and there is some history in my family - Marines and Navy. However, I think military service is a decision that one should come to on his own, and only after a lot of consideration. It's something you should do because you want to and should not be used as a means to an end.

Especially at this time in the world, odds are quite good you'll go somewhere and/ or do things you're not going to like if you join the military (granted that might change by the time OP gets done with training/school) and that's not to be taken lightly. If you don't strongly believe that what you're doing is right, it could haunt you for a long time.

(I'm not trying to discourage military service. Just be sure that you do it for the right reasons.)

As far as advice, I'd say you need to stop and really think about what you enjoy doing and try to make it a bigger part of your life. If you can make money doing these things, even better.

Don't let your family or society shoehorn you into an education just because it's what's expected or 'correct'. I know plenty of people that got fancy degrees and ended up working menial jobs because they couldn't stand their field. Again, make sure you're going to school for the right reasons and that you study something that you find interesting and useful.

My personal experience:
When I was younger (hell, I still do it), I took everything apart that I could get my hands on, especially machines and electronic toys. I loved building toys (ie. Legos) and was very interested in how things worked. All things. When the time came for me to work on my future, I was lucky enough to get money (along with extra loans...yay) from a small but reputable college, where I studied mechanical engineering.

Now, I basically do the adult/career version of what I described above. I do engineering and quality assurance for a small manufacturing firm. My job is primarily to find and fix problems with both machines and processes. Prior to this, I took new and rebuilt machines, fixed them up, figured how they work, and put them into service.

So again, what do you like?

just got in really late from work. saw your question earlier and needed time to think about it. probably not good....since my job is a brain cell killer.
but anyway, there has never been one thing i like to do more than anything else. i've always been the jack of all trades type of guy. when i was little i used to construct giant figures with those k'nex sets. built a few cars with those erector sets....(i don't know if you know what those are. they were out in the mid 90's.)
i have always had a fascination with very large structures....seems like an architect thing, doesn't it? but then about as much as i like that stuff, i love aircraft and propulsion.
i used to like writing (very much out of practice now...) and maybe could have had a column somewhere. i might've been an entertaining guy. i don't know why i thought journalism would allow me to practice this....i guess that's why i gave that internship thing a shot; quickly learned that that ain't it.

 

[wadlez]

Sounds like a few years in the military might be the thing for you right now. Much of that lifestyle is not pleasant, but is rather more like taking medicine. If nothing else the military will pay for an education, provide opportunities for travel etc. However, one still has to submit to being in a "House" that belongs to another and one is not free to do many things that one might wish to do.
However, I have known a few people, that fell in love with the lifestyle of the US Air Force and the military life of an officer suited them quite well. One may wish to investigate what ROTC has to offer...

First of all I would just like to say DONT LISTEN TO THIS GUY!!!!!
The military is not an option, dont believe the propaganda, the teary eye'd patriotic bullshit, you'll fucking die over there, get PTSD, or get your legs blown off and spend the rest of your life in a wheel chair.
Imagine driving along a city street of an alien culture you do not understand, anyone you see could potentially be your enemy for all you know, and from there perspective your driving along with "IM YOUR ENEMY" spraypainted on your hummer in bright pink letters. The roads either side of you are littered with trash, your on edge, stressed out of your mind and counting the days untill your home. BANG your hummers just been taken out by a IED (it was concealed in some rubbish that looked no different to any other). Your now dead, your parents worst nightmare is now there reality.

My ex girlfriends brother served in Iraq and told me all about it, its hell, war is hell dont believe the bullshit people tell you.

I was in your position just 2 years ago (same age and also doing weights), I was basically stressing like you are and just decided that I have to commit to something now. I love psychology and I am always thinking about it, so I did that.

 

[Shatokan]

First of all I would just like to say DONT LISTEN TO THIS GUY!!!!!
The military is not an option, dont believe the propaganda, the teary eye'd patriotic bullshit, you'll fucking die over there, get PTSD, or get your legs blown off and spend the rest of your life in a wheel chair.
Imagine driving along a city street of an alien culture you do not understand, anyone you see could potentially be your enemy for all you know, and from there perspective your driving along with "IM YOUR ENEMY" spraypainted on your hummer in bright pink letters. The roads either side of you are littered with trash, your on edge, stressed out of your mind and counting the days untill your home. BANG your hummers just been taken out by a IED (it was concealed in some rubbish that looked no different to any other). Your now dead, your parents worst nightmare is now there reality.

My ex girlfriends brother served in Iraq and told me all about it, its hell, war is hell dont believe the bullshit people tell you.

I was in your position just 2 years ago (same age and also doing weights), I was basically stressing like you are and just decided that I have to commit to something now. I love psychology and I am always thinking about it, so I did that.

LOL
I've known two people that were in the military, both stationed in Iraq. Both thought it was hell, and yet I'm still going to join the navy. There is more than just the army military wise.

There are roughly 1,379,551 active duty troops. (wiki)
There are roughly 369,000 stationed OUTSIDE America.
Roughly 178,750 stationed in the MIDDLE EAST.

There is a 26% chance you will be stationed outside the US, and a 13% chance you'll be put in the middle east in general.


You hear about all these horror stories, but not once is it anyone that was anything but a grunt. In the navy you don't step foot on land, i have yet to meet a navy personnel who has a horror story about car bombings.
From 2001-2008 the Army(grunts) were 78% of the casualties in the "War On Terror".

It's my opinion to join the military as a means to an end. That's why everyone does something. Join the army to pay for college. Take a job for the money. Eat to live. Everything is a means to an end. If you want to join the military, join where you know you wont start fighting immediately.

There is always SOME truth in propaganda, weather you want to believe it or not is your choice, I'm personally going to join the navy because at worst I'll be stationed on a carrier and at best a submarine. Instead of trying to push your personal opinion on someone, give them the facts.

p.s. those two that i knew that went to Iraq were both injured and sent back because of car bombings, but they don't regret going to Iraq.

 

[Da Blob]

I agree with the above. That is why i suggested the Air Force. I do not know the number of casualties that the Air Force has incurred in the recent troubles, but I would think that unless one is a pilot the odds of being injured or killed while serving in the Air Force are very, very slim.

 

[Words]

I agree with Da Blob. Joining the military seems like a good way of simplifying life. And to understand life's simplicity would add into motivation I believe. It's that BIG change to help sharpen your view. Whether you live or die is not what matters, but what matters is how.

I, myself, am planning to; hoping it'll place more "umph" on my value of my own life and, more importantly, of others.

 

[Gather_Wanderer]

I agree with Da Blob. Joining the military seems like a good way of simplifying life. And to understand life's simplicity would add into motivation I believe. It's that BIG change to help sharpen your view. Whether you live or die is not what matters, but what matters is how.

I, myself, am planning to; hoping it'll place more "umph" on my value of my own life and, more importantly, of others.

i'm surprised at how often i'm hearing the military option from guys here. i think if i went anywhere, it'd be the USAF but this is without any real knowledge of the navy. i've got a friend in every military division, one of them a former recruiter. i probably need to talk to him some more about this thing.

i do not want a military career though. i need an end to these means.

 

[Words]

That's too bad. Have you tried living the life of a beggar? The life of poverty is another option. You may think of it crazy but radicalism has its virtues imo. Sometimes, there really are needs to go extreme i believe.

 

[wadlez]

The navy is terrible, watch this documentary. It shows the day to day lives of people aboard an air craft carrier, looks really really bad.
The only people that have it good are those in the air force, but they should in no way reflect or be taken into consideration when joining the military unless you have already studied hard your whole life to be a pilot (maybe you have and its slipped your mind).
I recommend not talking to your friend about it, he'll recruit you and before you know it you'll be locked into 4 years on a boat in the middle of the atlantic.

In the military the initial training they put you through is about turning you into a grunt mentally, they use similiar techniques to cults to break you down and then build you up again as a dumb ass soldier. Do you want to be a dumb ass grunt? Let these idiots join the military themselves.

LOL
I've known two people that were in the military, both stationed in Iraq. Both thought it was hell, and yet I'm still going to join the navy

I cant wait for you to join the navy

 

[Shatokan]

The navy is terrible, watch this documentary. It shows the day to day lives of people aboard an air craft carrier, looks really really bad.
The only people that have it good are those in the air force, but they should in no way reflect or be taken into consideration when joining the military unless you have already studied hard your whole life to be a pilot (maybe you have and its slipped your mind).
I recommend not talking to your friend about it, he'll recruit you and before you know it you'll be locked into 4 years on a boat in the middle of the atlantic.

In the military the initial training they put you through is about turning you into a grunt mentally, they use similiar techniques to cults to break you down and then build you up again as a dumb ass soldier. Do you want to be a dumb ass grunt? Let these idiots join the military themselves.

I cant wait for you to join the navy

I have yet to see anything i didn't already know about. Please explain how this is so bad?

When you are taught a way of life from the time you are a small child, there is need to clean the slate and learn a new way of life. It seems to me you are just scared of losing your individuality, when in reality there is no such thing. Until you have personally joined the millitary, and then served, then left, i will never take your advice. I am taking the advice from my father, my sisters best friend, and someone my sister used to be friends with. Both of them having personal experience.

I may only be 30 min. into the first episode, but i still have yet to see anything i wouldn't be willing to do. Please, give me examples why it's so painful to be in the navy, i'll tell you why their not.

This is without taking into account the fact that my asvab score leaves me entitled to take any job the navy has as long as i can meet the physical requirements. Your personal prejudice isn't always right.

 

[wadlez]

Your personal prejudice isn't always right.

Such wise words.

I dont think anything I could say right now would possibly be able to convince you not to join the navy. In your mind you would be taking the advice of a stranger over your fathers and these people you obviously look up to. "First belief, best dressed" Is a saying of mine. The idea has been created and built in your mind already, its part of your self concept and working model of the world which motivates and gives you high self esteem. What would accepting my contrary opinion do apart from destroy all this and replace it nothing?

There is still hope for buttbuttmcgutt though, he clearly is yet to acquire the unshakable convictions which people are so quick to push onto others and kill for. This is some attempt at early intervention for him. Im afraid for you theres no fate more deserving (or pending) than military service.

It seems to me you are just scared of losing your individuality, when in reality there is no such thing

This is interesting, I would like to hear your explanation of this.

 

[Gather_Wanderer]

ahh, back from work again. i'm glad i'm not there most days or else i would...
anyway...

unshakable convictions, i do not have. i often wonder how people can be so sure of anything these days. ex girlfriend used to always ask me why uncertainty bothers me so much....different topic.

does anyone have a good idea for a starting point as to how i can pull myself together? i understand that damn near everything is based on perspective and no one HAS to be anything.....so let's just say i choose to never become a bum and, at least in the near future, obtain a life mostly free (no girlfriend, bills are easily managed, can move around, etc). i want to be free to think and build on ideas.

 

[wadlez]

does anyone have a good idea for a starting point as to how i can pull myself together? i understand that damn near everything is based on perspective and no one HAS to be anything.....so let's just say i choose to never become a bum and, at least in the near future, obtain a life mostly free (no girlfriend, bills are easily managed, can move around, etc). i want to be free to think and build on ideas.

Us INTP's would all like to be uninhibited and unaffected by the real world so we are left alone to work on our ideas, but this is an unhealthy balance and represses our other functions, desires, needs. You might find that the more you push towards this goal that these repressed aspects will find ways to encroach on your ideal life and the more you push them away the more hostile and manipulative they will become.
I think you should find an interesting job that requires you to think and gives you time alone on your thoughts but you should also strive to make money, get a girlfriend, make friends and settle down. A good starting point would be to start your career in what ever it is you want to do (dont waste your entire life deciding either).

 

[Da Blob]

Well, One needs to make sure what one's goals in life are before deciding on a method to achieve those goals. The monastic lifestyle of relative poverty is an option.

However, back to the Air Force, there are a hundred Air Force support personnel for every pilot. I worked at Tinker Air Force Base for a while and there was a guy there that was making $40, 000 a year for pumping gas... He was a sergeant with a very high rating and probably had the skills to do a great many other things - but on a routine day all he did was pump gas.

 

[Gather_Wanderer]

Us INTP's would all like to be uninhibited and unaffected by the real world so we are left alone to work on our ideas, but this is an unhealthy balance and represses our other functions, desires, needs. You might find that the more you push towards this goal that these repressed aspects will find ways to encroach on your ideal life and the more you push them away the more hostile and manipulative they will become.
I think you should find an interesting job that requires you to think and gives you time alone on your thoughts but you should also strive to make money, get a girlfriend, make friends and settle down. A good starting point would be to start your career in what ever it is you want to do (dont waste your entire life deciding either).

i don't want to be separated from the real world. i am introverted but i have developed a healthy amount of extroversion throughout the years and do enjoy interacting with strangers.... especially attractive ones, like last night...heh heh, she was cute. that's one of the big reasons i like to travel and meet new people, get new ideas. i do spend time alone and still mostly live inside my head but i've adapted to a world in which i have never met another like myself (intp in-person).
i say freedom because i watch how people around me get bogged down by bad financial decisions and relationships, and while i am still young i would like to get that part of my life handled...well, as much as you can anyway. i do think this is possible. i don't want to lock myself in a room; spent a lot of younger years doing that. i want to explore.

 

[Gather_Wanderer]

Well, One needs to make sure what one's goals in life are before deciding on a method to achieve those goals. The monastic lifestyle of relative poverty is an option.

However, back to the Air Force, there are a hundred Air Force support personnel for every pilot. I worked at Tinker Air Force Base for a while and there was a guy there that was making $40, 000 a year for pumping gas... He was a sergeant with a very high rating and probably had the skills to do a great many other things - but on a routine day all he did was pump gas.

ha! that's the problem. i have no long term goals right now, really. not anything specific anyway.
i had heard that about air force life. one of my military buddies who is NOT a recruiter told me it may fit what i'm trying to do over the next few years and he would recommend it for me.
honestly i just want to go through as many options as possible before i make a decision. like one guy said earlier, i want to finally decide on a course for my life and not second guess it. not saying i need an absolute career but i do want to start towards something.

 

[Words]

A course for your life? Its hard to see what's important(food) until your within that dire moment(starvation). And I doubt simply listing career choices would help much (e.g. 1. Athlete 2. Street Performer 3. Air Force 4. Military 5. Seaman or Sailor etc. ).

Doesn't this require more determination(from you) than choices? Maybe its better to, right now, experience first before choosing.

 

[Anthile]

This thread is quite worrisome. Instead of ridiculous and half-baked answers, you should give some at least halfway realistic advise, people. The only choices he has are raising his chances to get killed violently dramatically and becoming basically homeless?


buttbuttmcgutt: Maybe you should make a list with your skills, talents and interests. Make a mindmap out of this list. After that you should look around how you can make other people pay for it. However, since I'm not from the USA I can't really give advise regarding this.

 

[Gather_Wanderer]

This thread is quite worrisome. Instead of ridiculous and half-baked answers, you should give some at least halfway realistic advise, people. The only choices he has are raising his chances to get killed violently dramatically and becoming basically homeless?


buttbuttmcgutt: Maybe you should make a list with your skills, talents and interests. Make a mindmap out of this list. After that you should look around how you can make other people pay for it. However, since I'm not from the USA I can't really give advise regarding this.

hmm...now i'm getting somewhere.
i don't understand what your foreign residency has to do with anything.
i guess maybe part of what i really wanted from this thread was to see examples of paths people have taken before me, obviously from people of a similar personality type and temperament.

 

[lafmeche]

After reading through this thread again, it seems to me that it might be best for you just to save up some money to move (not necessarily far away, but get out of your home town for a bit) and try some different jobs. If you like people, try jobs that let you interact with people… bartender, retail, some types of office work. I don’t think you’ll be able to make a plan for yourself until you get out and try some different stuff.

Side note: One of my favorite summer jobs was a pool store. I stocked shelves and did water testing, which gave me time in my own head, but I also interacted with customers. It broke up the day nicely.

Don’t let other people tell you that you need to make a ton of money. Money is a means to an end, nothing more. You need enough to live and you’ll want to put some away for the future, but you don’t need to make six figures to be happy.

If you’re dead set on traveling, the military is an option, but that’s a decision you might be stuck with for a while. Be sure that’s what you want before you do it.

buttbuttmcgutt: Maybe you should make a list with your skills, talents and interests. Make a mindmap out of this list. After that you should look around how you can make other people pay for it. However, since I'm not from the USA I can't really give advise regarding this.

Doesn't this require more determination(from you) than choices? Maybe its better to, right now, experience first before choosing.

This ^^
It never hurts to put things on paper. Make lists of what you like to do and what you’re good at. Ask people around you about their jobs, how they got there, why they do it, how they like it, etc. Write it all down and take the time to sit and consider the possibilities. (Still get out on your own, though. I think you'll find it helps you see things differently.)

 

[Gather_Wanderer]

thanks guys. i've been thinking really hard about this the last few days and i think i have some sort of plan now. i'll probably be talking with my father about it tonight. even though it is better not to make hasty decisions, and i am not making any decisions yet, dealing with my brother (the one i don't like) can be easier if i know i have something waiting in the wings for me.
in the months of march and april, i'm going to take a few trips to places i've been thinking about. won't be expensive, already have expenses calculated in my head. that'll help for a fresh perspective.

 

[lafmeche]

Glad to hear you have a plan. Where are you going?

 

[Words]

Traveling. It reminds me of old age and wisdom. It reminds me of a time when I talked to this old intelligent Irish man at an airport. He was a wise, patient and understanding sage...I wish to grow my personality the same way. Wouldn't you care to initiate as many conversations as you can while traveling?

 

[Gather_Wanderer]

Traveling. It reminds me of old age and wisdom. It reminds me of a time when I talked to this old intelligent Irish man at an airport. He was a wise, patient and understanding sage...I wish to grow my personality the same way. Wouldn't you care to initiate as many conversations as you can while traveling?

yeah, that's what i do. talking to people you don't know seems to be a little more rewarding for some reason. people are basically more honest (in general conversation. you're not trying to know everything about their lives) and want good atmosphere.

Glad to hear you have a plan. Where are you going?

minnesota, around the st. paul area i believe. the university of minnesota-twin cities was one of the schools i was considering back in high school and, from what i've been hearing from people i know, there are areas around there that would suit me well. i like NYC but it's too expensive, don't like L.A., and i want to leave Chicago.
my father told me yesterday that whatever enviroment i can create for myself that is most conducive to my forward progress and development, i should go for. i have a road trip planned already sometime in march that i'm supposed to be going on with a few buddies and i'll probably check minny out around that time. hopefully when i get there, i'll like what i find.


...if i had just done this a year ago...i could've caught favre's season with the vikings...