Your views on passing judgement?

[NO_ARM_NINJA]

I often times find myself labeling people after meeting them, be it immediately or over a series of conversations. I tend to label those I see but do not interact with by observing their mannerisms and groups of friends. I generally use the classic "clique" organizational scheme, say i see a girl with tight clothes, makeup, and a deep cut shirt I may immediately label her blatantly as "slut" (I know its harsh) depending on her groups of friends and the way she talks. But i have found exceptions to my judgement, after seeing a guy at my school with a varsity jacket, spiky hair, and a perfectly manicured beard, I immediately said "JOCK ALERT" in my head, but after analyzing him a bit further I found he was actually a very caring, nice person, and we have since become acquaintances. My judgements often go unvoiced unless asked why i'm staring at someone on the other end of the cafeteria (it happens often). My question is this, are my judgements simply a result of my analytic mind and my desire to categorize things, as is a natural thing for INTPs, or is it something deeper, a personal trait not generally expressed by other INTPs?

 

[downsowf]

I'm generally the opposite. I usually don't make judgments about anyone unless I talk to them or get to know them so I can feel comfortable making a conclusion about who that person is. You might not be giving yourself enough credit though. The way a person dresses is generally an expression of how they want to be perceived by others. So if a person dresses like a "jock," I don't think it's wrong to call someone a "jock," whatever that means and the connotations that come with it. And obviously he wanted to project a certain look. The point is that you changed your ideal of who he was after you talked to him. A person is a lot more than what they wear. You picked up on that. You realized your perception was wrong and you weren't close-minded as some people might be as to completely write someone off because of how they dress or who they hang out with.

 

[NO_ARM_NINJA]

My judgement of a person is never necessarily set in stone without extensive evidence, I use it as more of a preliminary exercise, to know what to expect. Upon further examination of the individual my expectations are rarely completely shattered, maybe slightly tweaked, but rarely is there a dramatic change from my preconception. The situation of the "bearded man", who's name is actually, Joe was pleasantly surprising, but has yet to be replicated, which is something I find saddening. I am open to having my preconceptions changed, and am in fact overjoyed when they are, but I find all too often that my negative labels placed on people end up being rather accurate, and I take pride in my accuracy, but are there any good people left in the world?

 

[A22]

When I spot a person who fits a stereotype I think to myself: People probably think that guy is <stereotype>.

 

[downsowf]

Ya, there are many good people in the world. I'm assuming you're in high school and the only thing I can say is high school sucks. Most people are just beginning to find out who they are. The experience is humiliating for everybody. I have no idea what kind of label I was pigeon-holed into in high school. I could have been labeled any one of the following at some point in high school: hippie, nerd, jock, popular, loner, etc... People change. All I know is that I had a few intimate friends in high school who I did everything with. These are still my close friends today. I really didn't care about anyone else or go out of my way to care about anyone else. I also try not to set any expectations for other people. I only rely on and trust very few people. When you lower your expectations of people, it is a lot easier deal with them. Perhaps you expect too much?

Also, I would get rid of this system you have. People act differently in a crowd, alone, etc... Having these preconceived notions of someone might be affecting how you approach them, and ultimately view them, more than you think. I don't know. Just a thought.

 

[NO_ARM_NINJA]

I will admit that I may be diluting the value of my observations with preconceptions, perhaps I should approach a person with NO expectation, instead gaining facts as I interact with the person.
It isn't necessarily that I have high expectations for people, I just highly value innocence and virtue, which is unfortunately difficult to come by.

 

[shortbuss]

I used to judge people more openly, but it turned my friends against me. I learned to curb my opinions and to censor myself when I realized they wouldn't be appropriate or appreciated. Sometimes I feel like I have to stifle who I am to appease my friends, just so they'll still want me around. It can be really frustrating. I sometimes feel like no one could ever want a person like me around. I feel extremely misunderstood sometimes, and it only feeds my overwhelming sense of alienation, and an inability to trust.

So I'm not entirely sure how I feel about passing judgment. Sometimes, I think it is appropriate to keep judgments to yourself, simply to not hurt feelings, but sometimes others' refusal to hear criticism, or negative thought at all is responsible for killing conversations I desperately want to pursue. I resent people that deny the reality of negativity in life because of their own need for cognitive dissonance- I see it as foolish, and at its worst, dangerous.