Would you pick the controller back up?

[DelusiveNinja]

I used to play video games day in and day out trying to perfect builds made mostly on MMOs or RPGs, but now due to wear and tear the only technology I have to distract me from impending despair is an average home computer which is not optimal for online gaming. I see all sorts of new technology coming out and I get all excited thinking about how I can stay in my room all day tinkering with them. They probably would cause me to procrastinate more but is that not okay? Is it okay to "party now;study later"(Dexter's laboratory reference)? I want to go get me a PS4 so bad for the long awaited Kingdom Hearts III.

Story incoming:
I don't think I was ever really addicted to them I just found it to be increasingly entertaining working to be the best at what I did on the game. The weird thing is that I didn't like using that attained skill to demolish people or get to the top of the leader boards. I hated when people would ask me to help them or do activities with them but sometimes I did it anyway. People wanted me in their raid groups, legions, and guilds and I would decline or join in to see how the people were and then leave out of boredom. There was one league I joined due to what I would call the "soft seduction" of an ENFJ/ENFP female. I found my self leaving and joining the league in intervals because of her and my bipolar Ti-Fe moments. I would make up lies after leaving and say "I left by mistake" to stop thinking her from thinking that I didn't enjoy her league or her. It took a while for me to open up and actually talk on the microphone. Slowly but surely I became more and more comfortable with talking to the league members about the game, but there were still those times when I would just close my self off for no reason and not respond to them, which usually was a sign of me getting ready to leave. Eventually, I left for good and sent the girl a long message explaining myself. I still don't know what compelled me to do that, but I have a hunch it was the guilt of me not telling them I was about to quit gaming for a while. Did I actually develop feelings for a girl who I only talked to for hours through an online game? How naive am I. I still remember that soft voice calling my avatars nickname (weirdest sentence I have ever typed in my life). I think the main reason for me not getting another PS3 was the reality check from my Si function and my Ti function telling me that I didn't need friends online or offline.

 

[Duxwing]

Sounds rough. Do you have friends as of late? Do you see a way to turn your love of perfecting these virtual builds into a career?

-Duxwing

 

[Cognisant]

I still remember that soft voice calling my avatars nickname

Lol, I think that's one of the things that defines the new world we live in, indeed if I could I would print that out in the centre of a landscape orientated A4 sheet of paper, frame it, and hang it in an art gallery, because it's real, it's contemporary, it moves me.

That is art.

Do you see a way to turn your love of perfecting these virtual builds into a career?

Oh c'mon Dad.

the reality check from my Si function and my Ti function telling me that I didn't need friends online or offline.

Mhmm, that phrase "I don't need friends" do you believe it, really?
It's something I wonder about.

I think we don't need anyone but that's not the same as not needing anybody at all, there's this place I call the void, it's not so much a physical place as a frame of mind or a state of being, it's standing outside in the dark while there's a party inside, if groups of people create their own bubbles of relevance then the void is the place between the bubbles, it's outside, not outside of anywhere in particular, just outside. In the void you have to be strong, to have a will unyielding, you must hold yourself together, remind yourself what is sane, because if you don't it'll eat away at you until there's nothing left, until you go insane or suicidal.

So is it possible to survive in the void?

It is, in the short term at least, y'know it's not like we always have a choice, but in the long term though it may still be possible, it's unlikely, even if you have the fortitude to keep yourself together the concessions you make for that endurance will change you, corrupt you, sooner or later you'll fall prey to some neurosis or another and this seduced by madness you'll fall prey to your own growing irrationality.

The void is a great place to learn from and to purge yourself of nonsense, but I don't recommend planning to stay.

 

[Duxwing]

Lol, I think that's one of the things that defines the new world we live in, indeed if I could I would print that out in the centre of a landscape orientated A4 sheet of paper, frame it, and hang it in an art gallery, because it's real, it's contemporary, it moves me.

That is art.

I agree.

Oh c'mon Dad.

I'm quite serious: Architect discovered what he wanted to do by observing what he was always doing.

Mhmm, that phrase "I don't need friends" do you believe it, really?
It's something I wonder about.

I think we don't need anyone but that's not the same as not needing anybody at all, there's this place I call the void, it's not so much a physical place as a frame of mind or a state of being, it's standing outside in the dark while there's a party inside, if groups of people create their own bubbles of relevance then the void is the place between the bubbles, it's outside, not outside of anywhere in particular, just outside. In the void you have to be strong, to have a will unyielding, you must hold yourself together, remind yourself what is sane, because if you don't it'll eat away at you until there's nothing left, until you go insane or suicidal.

So is it possible to survive in the void?

It is, in the short term at least, y'know it's not like we always have a choice, but in the long term though it may still be possible, it's unlikely, even if you have the fortitude to keep yourself together the concessions you make for that endurance will change you, corrupt you, sooner or later you'll fall prey to some neurosis or another and this seduced by madness you'll fall prey to your own growing irrationality.

The void is a great place to learn from and to purge yourself of nonsense, but I don't recommend planning to stay.

I agree. Social relations are part of nearly every human's nature.

-Duxwing

 

[DelusiveNinja]

I believe that it is possible to survive without declaring people as friends, but at the same time I think it is easier to survive with networks of people, who have the skills you do not. As long as, in life I don't try to become something astronomically extraordinary I can live without having "friends". If you want to conquer the world there is no way to do it without some type mutual trust relationship between people.

I can probably make some money off accounts with awesome builds but not much. Like I could probably sell them on the game's forum if I learned how to securely receive money from the people who buy them. I think it's virtually impossible to make a living off that.

 

[DelusiveNinja]

Sounds rough. Do you have friends as of late? Do you see a way to turn your love of perfecting these virtual builds into a career?

-Duxwing

No friends, I dropped them all with arrogant comments no long ago.
To ESFJ: First, I aggregated an argument in which the whole class turned against him and his skills as a baseball player. A week later, he attempted conversation with me I went like this:
[Approach] "Hey Jeremy (searching for topics of interest).......you still watch Naruto? I responded, "Why do you try so hard spark conversation with me? Just stop speaking to me." Then I walked away.

 

[DelusiveNinja]

That is art.

I don't understand what this means.

 

[DelusiveNinja]

I decided i'm going to get a Laptop, Acer Aspire E1-571-6888 15.6-Inch Laptop to be exact. I may end up playing more MMOs and learning programming language.