Why...

[HDINTP]

So, I thought that I could ask there because I hope you will be able to give answer without well mixing emotions in. I do not understand why people get so scared when they get cancer for example. I think it is just useless.If they get cancer, Ok then but there is no reason to panic. Why do they do that? It reminds me of that thing if you hurt your self and do not really know that you are relatively fine until of course you realize that you are hurt then it is "over".

Yesterday I have read about one other disease and there was an open-discussion about what about the disease are they afraid the most and answers like: "I am afraid of dying of suffocation and I am starting to get jelous of my wife because of her having bad heart because dying of heart attack is better than dying of suffocation". Give me a break.

Everybody dies (somehow) so why not of x, y or z. It does not matter. This is something I have learned from my father. You have to die, somehow. I am not saying I would like to get those but if I do (and I have one problem, everybody has some), then it is not over.

I am not saying that geting COPD, cancer, heart attact or whatever is good but it just happens. People worry too much and they would not have to if they understood this. And to this one of mine. I do not see it as a problem actually. I go to doctor but I do not see it as treating my disease I see it as preventive visit. I see it as a scar from the past and not and ongoing problem. I feel great actually. And this I want to quote this : "No, doctors said you can't do this anymore. Answer: "They also said I won't walk anymore". Do you see. I believe that if you really want something (like heal yourself) and believe it (not lying to one self but truly do) you will get your goal.

And now the most important thing. I see it as the biggest problem. People have tendency to compare themeselves with others. Why? Can you tell me why? If they did not they would not have this problem. I am ill is not the right sentence. I have this ok so solve it. Not but he does not why can't I... etc. (Trust me I know what I am talking about and maybe wish I understood this in the past).

And so this is something I want to tell all of you: "You are you not anybody else (this is what I would like all people to understand or the truth is I do not care about them actually but still think this would help them).

So what are your thoughts please?

 

[Thurlor]

I suspect that these people are scared of dying. I occasionaly worry about dying and it's not even an immediate issue for me.

If you aren't going to fear death is there really anything worth fearing?

I believe that if you really want something (like heal yourself) and believe it (not lying to one self but truly do) you will get your goal.

Really? Faith heal thy-self? I'm not denying that one's mental/emotional state have an impact on healing, but that only goes so far.

Meh, what's the point?

 

[HDINTP]

If you aren't going to fear death is there really anything worth fearing?

Not really why fear? As for me if you care to know I had this part in my life where I was not really afraid of dying but of aging. Afraid of the day I turn 25 but that fear is gone.

 

[Nezaros]

If you aren't going to fear death is there really anything worth fearing?

I could argue that there isn't anything worth fearing. But it's not like fear is entirely a personal choice. We can't help but be afraid of some things, which no amount of rationalizing will solve.

People are naturally afraid of death. They're afraid of the unknown, and death is unknown. It's why we still have religion. If something happens that reminds one of the inevitability of death they will do everything in their power to deny that dying is something that could happen to them.

 

[Void]

Yea, it's the same when people say: "Oh, he died so unexpectedly!". Anyone can die anytime of anything. Yes the odds are small, but dying is the least unexpected thing in life, I think.

 

[DelusiveNinja]

What about aliens in your home? Is death more unexpected than that? or better yet me.

 

[mm1991]

They could definitely be afraid of dying - as many people are, as I am - but I think we can include the fear of pain (chemotherapy, etc) that they think about, the financial toll on an entire family, (and so on and so forth) that can contribute to breaking down at diagnosis' such as these.

 

[Cognisant]

Not everybody breaks down, some go skydiving and engage in increasingly death seeking activities or undergo lots of body modification, perhaps thinking "if I can't keep it I'll do whatever I please with it while I've still got it".

I'd much prefer die of something predictable, to see it coming, not have it thrust upon me without warning or time to y'know settle financial matters, say goodbye, burn the porn collection.

 

[Turniphead]

I'm pretty sure I fear loosing "control" of my body/brain more than death itself.

Death seems like it might be a relief in the end. It might be nice to finally let go of what feels like holding up the world with my brain.

 

[Cognisant]

Lol, you only think you're in control.

Get a pin and try to slowly press it into your skin, you can sterilise it first with a flame but I doubt you'll go so far, not if you do it slowly, it's superficial damage, you cold press the pin all the way through the palm of your hand and pull it out the other side, the wound would will seal in minutes and 2-3 days from now it'll have healed completely, but as you push can you feel your will fading away?

You really think you're in control, the push it in, the damage is minor to the point of irrelevance and pain is only in the mind, right?

Right?

Truth is pain and pleasure are how your body makes your mind its bitch.
You do what it tells you to, you only think you're in control.

 

[Turniphead]

Oh yah?

"control"

 

[Brontosaurie]

Lol, you only think you're in control.

Get a pin and try to slowly press it into your skin, you can sterilise it first with a flame but I doubt you'll go so far, not if you do it slowly, it's superficial damage, you cold press the pin all the way through the palm of your hand and pull it out the other side, the wound would will seal in minutes and 2-3 days from now it'll have healed completely, but as you push can you feel your will fading away?

You really think you're in control, the push it in, the damage is minor to the point of irrelevance and pain is only in the mind, right?

Right?

Truth is pain and pleasure are how your body makes your mind its bitch.
You do what it tells you to, you only think you're in control.

haha getting srs tyler durden vibes from this

 

[Duxwing]

Lol, you only think you're in control.

Get a pin and try to slowly press it into your skin, you can sterilise it first with a flame but I doubt you'll go so far, not if you do it slowly, it's superficial damage, you cold press the pin all the way through the palm of your hand and pull it out the other side, the wound would will seal in minutes and 2-3 days from now it'll have healed completely, but as you push can you feel your will fading away?

You really think you're in control, the push it in, the damage is minor to the point of irrelevance and pain is only in the mind, right?

Right?

Truth is pain and pleasure are how your body makes your mind its bitch.
You do what it tells you to, you only think you're in control.

You know what's even scarier than that? You don't value things because they are pleasurable or painful, pleasure and pain are your values, no matter how many layers of metacognition you leap to.

-Duxwing

 

[TheScornedReflex]

Until we are placed in the situation where we have cancer or other deathly disease and know/think that we will die, we can only speculate as to how we would personally be affected. It's foolish to say "If this happened to me I wouldn't panic". You don't know that.

Death is a weighty matter felt by all involved.

 

[Hawkeye]

So, I thought that I could ask there because I hope you will be able to give answer without well mixing emotions in. I do not understand why people get so scared when they get cancer for example. I think it is just useless.If they get cancer, Ok then but there is no reason to panic. Why do they do that? It reminds me of that thing if you hurt your self and do not really know that you are relatively fine until of course you realize that you are hurt then it is "over".

Yesterday I have read about one other disease and there was an open-discussion about what about the disease are they afraid the most and answers like: "I am afraid of dying of suffocation and I am starting to get jelous of my wife because of her having bad heart because dying of heart attack is better than dying of suffocation". Give me a break.

Everybody dies (somehow) so why not of x, y or z. It does not matter. This is something I have learned from my father. You have to die, somehow. I am not saying I would like to get those but if I do (and I have one problem, everybody has some), then it is not over.


I am not saying that geting COPD, cancer, heart attact or whatever is good but it just happens. People worry too much and they would not have to if they understood this.

I do not look forward to death as I see it as an indefinite end to my existence. Fear is not a voluntary emotion. You can teach yourself to suppress fear, but it's still lurking behind a mask.

Even though death is inevitable to all, the causes of death are not equal to each other. Some are quick and painless whilst others are slow and very painful. I would rather die the painless death and so to say "I'd prefer dying of [x] than [y]" makes perfect sense.

To be diagnosed with a terminal disease differs from being killed in a car accident in terms of pre-death knowledge. With car crashes death is quite sudden, but with a terminal disease however, you are given a time-frame that is usually far shorter than your ideal "growing old and dying peacefully" plan. Death suddenly feels more real and this is where fear creeps in.

As good as the human mind is, no matter how much you believe your arm will grow back, it won't. Also, some things are just incurable (at the moment) and death still occurs sooner than expected.

And to this one of mine. I do not see it as a problem actually. I go to doctor but I do not see it as treating my disease I see it as preventive visit. I see it as a scar from the past and not and ongoing problem. I feel great actually. And this I want to quote this : "No, doctors said you can't do this anymore. Answer: "They also said I won't walk anymore". Do you see. I believe that if you really want something (like heal yourself) and believe it (not lying to one self but truly do) you will get your goal.

You need to see a better doctor if that's the case. Usually, doctors give a likelihood of either a full recovery or an ability rather than to say you'll never [potato] again. Personally, I think these stories are phrased that way to make patient progression sound more miraculous.

And now the most important thing. I see it as the biggest problem. People have tendency to compare themeselves with others. Why? Can you tell me why? If they did not they would not have this problem. I am ill is not the right sentence. I have this ok so solve it. Not but he does not why can't I... etc. (Trust me I know what I am talking about and maybe wish I understood this in the past).

And so this is something I want to tell all of you: "You are you not anybody else (this is what I would like all people to understand or the truth is I do not care about them actually but still think this would help them).

Comparison is merely a complex form of basic instinct that deals with benefits. It's simply human nature to compare with peers to ensure our own survival.

 

[Wolf18]

So, I thought that I could ask there because I hope you will be able to give answer without well mixing emotions in. I do not understand why people get so scared when they get cancer for example. I think it is just useless.If they get cancer, Ok then but there is no reason to panic. Why do they do that? It reminds me of that thing if you hurt your self and do not really know that you are relatively fine until of course you realize that you are hurt then it is "over".

So what are your thoughts please?

I think it does matter how you die. Cancer is way on the bottom of my list, because the thought of my cells rapidly multiplying and taking over my body makes me shiver. When I get a cold, or the flu, however, I also feel horrible, but not because I think I am going to die. I am simply imagining the virus injecting its DNA into my cells, and I don't like it.

For me, death is not the scary thing. It's the way I will die that is scary. I would prefer to be shot than to drown; I would prefer stabbing to cancer.

However, even from my examples, it seems clear that what people fear is lack of control.

SW

 

[HDINTP]

They could definitely be afraid of dying - as many people are, as I am - but I think we can include the fear of pain (chemotherapy, etc) that they think about, the financial toll on an entire family, (and so on and so forth) that can contribute to breaking down at diagnosis' such as these.

Yes they could. However I think that would mean they gave up too early and I do not consider it right decision.

 

[HDINTP]

I'm pretty sure I fear loosing "control" of my body/brain more than death itself.

Death seems like it might be a relief in the end. It might be nice to finally let go of what feels like holding up the world with my brain.

So when you think/are afraid of that you are going to lose control do you actually count with that before it happens or here you just tell me that you think you are rather afraid of losing control?

 

[HDINTP]

Until we are placed in the situation where we have cancer or other deathly disease and know/think that we will die, we can only speculate as to how we would personally be affected. It's foolish to say "If this happened to me I wouldn't panic". You don't know that.

Death is a weighty matter felt by all involved.

I can not really know that but I can estimate my reaction can't I? To some degree of course. I always considered it unnecessary when people panicked even because of that a plane was about to crash. I think that it would be more benefical to solve the situation (be it almost anything) with cool head would not it?

 

[HDINTP]

I think it does matter how you die. Cancer is way on the bottom of my list, because the thought of my cells rapidly multiplying and taking over my body makes me shiver. When I get a cold, or the flu, however, I also feel horrible, but not because I think I am going to die. I am simply imagining the virus injecting its DNA into my cells, and I don't like it.

For me, death is not the scary thing. It's the way I will die that is scary. I would prefer to be shot than to drown; I would prefer stabbing to cancer.

However, even from my examples, it seems clear that what people fear is lack of control.

SW

Oh yeah. I think your thought primary make you feel uncomfortable. I know it is too general maybe but isn't it so? Of course I am not saying I would like some diseases. But I think that the need to choose or in this case think about those alternatives too much is not going to do much of good for anyone. I am surprised I say such a thing and few years ago I would not even give it a thought. For DNA into your cells. Why don't you rather imagine how your body fights it and wins and how relieved it makes you feel and are happy because of that. Like it was already done from the begining. Because we were made to think we feel bad...?

 

[HDINTP]

I do not look forward to death as I see it as an indefinite end to my existence. Fear is not a voluntary emotion. You can teach yourself to suppress fear, but it's still lurking behind a mask.

Even though death is inevitable to all, the causes of death are not equal to each other. Some are quick and painless whilst others are slow and very painful. I would rather die the painless death and so to say "I'd prefer dying of [x] than [y]" makes perfect sense.

To be diagnosed with a terminal disease differs from being killed in a car accident in terms of pre-death knowledge. With car crashes death is quite sudden, but with a terminal disease however, you are given a time-frame that is usually far shorter than your ideal "growing old and dying peacefully" plan. Death suddenly feels more real and this is where fear creeps in.

As good as the human mind is, no matter how much you believe your arm will grow back, it won't. Also, some things are just incurable (at the moment) and death still occurs sooner than expected.



You need to see a better doctor if that's the case. Usually, doctors give a likelihood of either a full recovery or an ability rather than to say you'll never [potato] again. Personally, I think these stories are phrased that way to make patient progression sound more miraculous.




Comparison is merely a complex form of basic instinct that deals with benefits. It's simply human nature to compare with peers to ensure our own survival.

Yes fear is still there but as you say you can teach yourself to suppress it.

"growing old and dying peacefully" plan is the problem. Do not have that plan. And do not let it creep in. You have something and you start how horrible that is. Find positives.
And here about the mind I will maybe sound a bit crazy but I do actually believe that humans are able to change their DNA. It is all about perception. We were programmed somehow because of society and it’s values, believes etc. Not like someone should feel like trying but I will say it like this: „It is not over until you say it is“.

 

[Wolf18]

Oh yeah. I think your thought primary make you feel uncomfortable. I know it is too general maybe but isn't it so? Of course I am not saying I would like some diseases. But I think that the need to choose or in this case think about those alternatives too much is not going to do much of good for anyone. I am surprised I say such a thing and few years ago I would not even give it a thought. For DNA into your cells. Why don't you rather imagine how your body fights it and wins and how relieved it makes you feel and are happy because of that. Like it was already done from the begining. Because we were made to think we feel bad...?

That's a good point. It's funny isn't it – how intellectualisation/rationalisation is meant to be used as a coping mechanism, but has the opposite effect?

SW

 

[Jennywocky]

Until we are placed in the situation where we have cancer or other deathly disease and know/think that we will die, we can only speculate as to how we would personally be affected. It's foolish to say "If this happened to me I wouldn't panic". You don't know that.

Yes, we're all stuck in these human bodies and sometimes those bodies respond a certain way. That is part of being human and it needs to be acknowledged and accepted.

Everyone's also different. People respond as they do just because they do. Perhaps their response at times seems overblown for the situation by one perspective, and maybe it even is objective. But the response is just what it is.

My ESFP kid hates pain. I don't understand why he does. I don't like pain either (and nowadays pain seems to hurt me worse than it used to when younger, where I used to get my teeth drilled on without novacaine on occasion), but I typically remain in control of myself when pain occurs. When he was younger, he would literally become hysterical almost at the THOUGHT of pain. he wouldn't even be hurt yet (from a shot or whatever else) and he'd be freaking out and crying. (my two INxx kids were far more stoic.)

There was one incident where he had gotten an impacted bowel and needed to be flushed out. (This happens occasionally due to his cystic fibrosis, if he isn't eating the right things.) At that point, they make you drink about a gallon of this clear stuff that tastes pretty rotten, to clean you out. Well, it tasted bad, so he wouldn't drink it quickly enough. This dragged on for an hour, even after he was told they'd have to snake a tube down his nose and force it through that way (they were very kind about it) if he couldn't finish it on his own. He still wouldn't drink it because he "didn't like it." I could sympathize, but at the same time there was no choice; that's where my brain tells me what needs to be done, an do it regardless of feelings. But he always had trouble doing that.

So eventually they come to snake the tube down his throat, and he goes into hysterics, and they're asking us to hold him down, and he starts throwing up all over the nurse, and ... well, it was just a horrible mess. Because he's my son and I love him and it's hard to watch him suffering; at the same time, he's really pissing me off because if he would just suck it up and drink the damned stuff, this would have been over an hour ago.

And that is how I usually feel toward other people's pain, at least when it gets past a "normal" place where it hurts and yet they can manage to make the choices they need to make, and enters that weird place where the pain (and fear of pain) is controlling them and they're completely out of control and running off that fear.

I empathize (and think it is important to empathize) with the natural pain and suffering of people and accept it as a factor in their decision making -- and understanding I'm not above that either, that I can one day be in a situation where I'm suffering and maybe not entirely "logical" in my response, none of us are machine or impervious to pain -- but at the same time, I do see some area where people are more afraid of pain than the pain would actually cause them on its own. That part makes less sense to me, due to my pragmatism and realism. I tend to be more practical and just figure, "suck it up and get it over with," or focus on the goal and not on the pain.

 

[Hawkeye]

Yes fear is still there but as you say you can teach yourself to suppress it.

"growing old and dying peacefully" plan is the problem. Do not have that plan. And do not let it creep in. You have something and you start how horrible that is. Find positives.
And here about the mind I will maybe sound a bit crazy but I do actually believe that humans are able to change their DNA. It is all about perception. We were programmed somehow because of society and it’s values, believes etc. Not like someone should feel like trying but I will say it like this: „It is not over until you say it is“.

It's not so much a plan as an inevitable truth (providing you aren't taken out before hand). It is better not to think of death, but it's hard to when we're surrounded by it.

Placebo is the most powerful and weakest medicine we know of. At times it can be very effective, it can also do nothing at all. I do agree that your mental attitude towards a disease can have an impact. You can die of broken heart syndrome.

This guy is great

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zeb-k-XzaI