why is there no propper dating site?

[ummidk]

Must be hard to convince people of your idea while contemplating how stupid they are:

But okay, now I just had a new idea how to search for the right people.
I had just made the mistake of trying to "socialize" and follow the advice of people around, about how to find such people that I need, because they are all morons and have no clue themselves about where the right people can be found. Morons advise me to search among other morons and give me advice how I should try to explain myself to morons, since this is all what they know about. But this is all waste.

 

[Hadoblado]

Yeah but usually not the same ones.
Well okay you will point out the case of medical charities full of people who both have good intentions and a high intelligence evidenced by their medical expertise. The problem remains that both qualities do not work together : they remain naive in their ideas of how to do the good. Their intelligence only develops in a specialized subject, not to the understanding of what are the problems and most needed kind of solutions; their intelligence is at the service of a naive, unintelligent plan.


Sorry but facts are not at the service of plausible speculations.
I'm speaking about facts. The question of how plausible or implausible things may seem, cannot change the facts which I experienced. So yes I'm an example. I did not mean that examples don't exist, only that they turn out to be quite exceptional, much more than people usually assume. Then the question of how can that be, comes second, and has to adapt to the observed facts, not the other way round.

But okay, now I just had a new idea how to search for the right people.
I had just made the mistake of trying to "socialize" and follow the advice of people around, about how to find such people that I need, because they are all morons and have no clue themselves about where the right people can be found. Morons advise me to search among other morons and give me advice how I should try to explain myself to morons, since this is all what they know about. But this is all waste.

Yeah I should have decided earlier to not listen to that but directly identify and look by myself at that small minority of the right people.
Now I just had a look and didn't get an answer yet but I'm finally confident to find partners. At last. Sorry I cannot tell you more.

You are not talking about facts, you are talking about experience. Everything you write is in service to the unsubstantiated conclusion that your idea is actually good.

Your claim that people who are intelligent can't also be caring makes no sense. Yet you would rather believe that is the case instead of second-guessing the veracity of your own idea. You have no reason to believe that it's the case other than that otherwise reality would contradict your perception. You know your perception is fallible, so why place such a premium on it?

You know you're intelligent. But intelligence does not make one immune to bias, in fact, there's barely a negative correlation at all. I know you know how to spot bad ideas, but from everything I've read of yours there is little to indicate you generalise this capacity to your own mind-babies.

 

[redbaron]

Your claim that people who are intelligent can't also be caring makes no sense.

To be honest it's the opposite I've found.

 

[RestInReason]

Since long ago I already designed the plan of how to make a really good free and decentralized online dating network. Well I did not disclose the last specification, which I did not completely write yet, but all I need is good web developers willing to make it, and this is what I unfortunately could not find.
If I did not disclose the last spec it's because the dating function would only come later, as an optional additional functionality among others on top of a more general system which I did publicly describe and which can already become popular, even without the dating function.

As a web developer, I read your writeups at http://spoirier.lautre.net/en/infoliberalism.htm, http://trust-forum.net/, and http://spoirier.lautre.net/trustedforum.html, and my first reaction is, "Where would I even begin?"

The idea is huge, and ambitious, but I didn't get a clear picture of what the end product would look like. I definitely didn't get an idea of what the first version of this site would look like. Even if I came to that site convinced of your idea and wanting to help, there's no "call to action" - no "how to help" section that would point me in the right direction. What, exactly, did you want web developers to do after reading about your ideas? Proactively email you saying, "I want to help; tell me what to do"?

If you're still working toward this idea, I suggest that you follow a guide like that at http://sivers.org/how2hire - break your idea into milestones, and present the first milestone as a relatively easy first target to hit.

 

[spoirier]

Must be hard to convince people of your idea while contemplating how stupid they are:

You know what ? Your reaction is extremely upsetting and discouraging to me at how stupid it is, at the total opposite of reality.
The truth is that for a large number of years, in different ways (about different topics) I have been infinitely persistent in trying to trust other people and expect them to be sane and to behave in some way that is a minimum serious and makes any sense. And I have been systematically, extremely disappointed. But I still cannot get used to this vertiginous observation of how dumb are people, so that I still continuously commit the terrible mistake of expecting them to be sane, which they actually, decidedly aren't.
Thus this accusation you are making to me that I would be a priori insulting, a priori distrusting, and thus repelling people in this way, is absolutely, infinitely untrue.

What lost me, is my shyness, my weakness in making over and over again the same absolute mistake: the mistake of trying to trust other people, expecting them to be sane. Expecting that when they appear to be nice and thoughtful, they present themselves as trustworthy, I should try to give them a chance and trust them.

This lost me in many ways.

The problem, the misunderstanding, why you might have a different experience than mine, is that we are not dealing with the same questions, the same problems.
The problems that I deal with are some of the fundamental questions, that turn out to be very hard problems, much harder than many people imagine if we wish to treat them in a not completely mistaken manner, and thus for which the usual average trustworthiness of people in their own eyes, does not apply.
Because they see themselves reliable in their own eyes... only for their usual little problems that do not require any serious care.

Another factor that lead me to have more misfortune trying to take other people seriously, is that, since I am extremely serious, I also tried to take other people extremely seriously, and to keep trusting them extremely strongly, much further than other people would care listening to each other. Because I expect words to make sense and claims to be serious, while "ordinary people" take things more lightly, and don't push to try taking claims seriously because it is natural for them to just take everything unseriously, so that when someones claims to know something, well, we all know it does not mean anything anyway, so that there is no problem, no question to study, nothing to trust, we can go to have fun and not care about anything, so that all is right.

You think this negativity would be the cause why I did not convince anyone ? You are also making a huge mistake by assuming that I did not convince anyone, which is absolutely untrue. I have a regular experience of convincing over 95% of people who physically came to the presentations and debates that I did of my ideas. That is, of course they first have objections, but then a a rational debate takes place and finally they are convinced of my arguments. The problem is, these people were usually not programmers (but rather economics students) and did not repeat the news to anyone else, because... well, only stupid, trivial news are able to be repeated. News that require non-trivial explanations, do not go through mouth-to ear or any other usual communication media.

There is also a longer dissertation by another author on this general issue of misinterpreting a posteriori reports of facts as if they were the cause of these facts.

What, exactly, did you want web developers to do after reading about your ideas? Proactively email you saying, "I want to help; tell me what to do"?

Yes. Contact me and start a discussion so that we can elaborate a working plan together. What's the problem ? But they don't try to contact me to start a discussion, I can't see why, except if they just want to be satisfied to see things as unclear with no idea what to do.

 

[charliepoo]

To be honest it's the opposite I've found.

Same. Caring is a conscious choice.

 

[charliepoo]

This thread hurt my head.

 

[PaulMaster]

for fucks sake.

Tinder.



Or any social network. You can use them any way you like. Even this one. PM whoever you're fancying and get that shit done.

If you cant get laid for free online in this day and age its your own fault.