Why do you get out of bed in the morning?

[Rome96]

Hey!
There is great advice on here already but your OP really got to me so i'm replying anyway.
I have 20 years on you but my childhood circumstances were similar, although with a lesser degree of religiosity . I spent much time waiting for the mothership to come and take me away to somewhere i'd find less incomprehensible. It's no wonder you don't feel like getting out of bed. Also, i'm assuming that your bedroom is your santuary from your family - further reason to stay in bed.
You've already accepted the most brutal truth - life is inherently meaningless and fleeting but this is what makes existence so precious (a point which is easy to miss entirely from a religious perspective). This can also be rather amusing if your humour is so inclined which yours seems like it might be.
If you find others with whom you can honestly share your ideas with and whose ideas you respect and are inspired by you will be bouncing out of bed, i'm sure. Hiding your loss of faith and all the ensuing implications that has from your family must be exhausting, isolating and depressing
You will probably feel very different once you are officially an 'adult' and have more control over your own life. Meanwhile, don't look for external meaning or validation, look for ways to enjoy your existence. And don't worry about failure - so what if your book doesn't sell or the guitar sounds like a dying cat in your hands? - if you enjoyed writing it/playing it then it was worth it for that reason alone, and if you enjoyed it enough despite failing, you will be compelled to learn more and try again. If you fail again it doesn't matter anyway because you'll soon be dead!
Hope you find this remotely helpfull. Good luck for the future.

“There is something infantile in the presumption that somebody else has a responsibility to give your life meaning and point… The truly adult view, by contrast, is that our life is as meaningful, as full and as wonderful as we choose to make it.”
Richard Dawkins

You're right. The mask I have to put on every day is very tiring, and if I had someone that I could be myself with it would be a lot easier. Sadly, that isn't possible at the moment. I wish I had a friend I could geek out with, though, all my friends are too different from me. I guess I don't really need a "higher purpose", it's better not believing in anything than believing in something false, right? You're right about my room being my sanctuary from the rest of the world, sometimes I stay in for several days at a time, it's better than the alternative most of the time though. Thanks for taking the time to answer. I just have one more year of hell to endure before I get to the creamy center of life, I'm sure I'll make it intact.

 

[Tor__Hershman]

DNA programing and I'm the world's biggest hypocritical coward lest moi would've offed i-self a long time ago.

 

[Polaris]

A stubborn desire not to give in to the devils of my mind. Things usually get better as dreams become more distant and people I have decided to let into my life get closer.

 

[Architect]

A stubborn desire not to give in to the devils of my mind.

What a fascinating statement.

Things usually get better as dreams become more distant and people I have decided to let into my life get closer.

Why would you say that?

 

[Polaris]

What a fascinating statement.

I'm quite familiar with that side of human nature which is bound for self-destruction. Our highly developed brains are double-edged swords. I balance on the edge most of the time. I guess that is the nature of introverted thinkers. This has distanced me from a large proportion of the general population. I resent and cherish these traits that seemingly are programmed into my DNA. I have accepted that I do not fit a certain category. At the same time I sometimes wish I were less complicated.

Why would you say that?

Reality seems more acute in the early hours of the morning when dreams are still lingering in my mind. It's like the atmosphere one carries within one's self after visiting certain places that burn themselves for whatever reason into one's mind. The places I visit are mostly dark and reminiscent of nightmares in the past.

Waking up is also a shock, as one is drawn closer to the fact that one cannot escape the reality which brings about these dreams. Dreams and reality become one; and appear particularly raw in their realisation of the early hours. At the same time, I'm also aware that these hours are particularly volatile, so I resist the urge to let my mind spiral into some existential vortex. If I let that happen I would never get up. The daemons would win. So my rebellious nature kicks into remote control as always; luckily this applies just as much to my own sheepishness as for that of the general population. I guess one could say I spite life as well as death.....there is somewhere in between where I find some sort of peace; that I find solace in the minds of some chosen individuals. So it is a matter of letting these people into one's life. Somehow things become more bearable.

Was that cryptic enough or should I confuse things more?

 

[Rome96]

I'm quite familiar with that side of human nature which is bound for self-destruction. Our highly developed brains are double-edged swords. I balance on the edge most of the time. I guess that is the nature of introverted thinkers. This has distanced me from a large proportion of the general population. I resent and cherish these traits that seemingly are programmed into my DNA. I have accepted that I do not fit a certain category. At the same time I sometimes wish I were less complicated.





Reality seems more acute in the early hours of the morning when dreams are still lingering in my mind. It's like the atmosphere one carries within one's self after visiting certain places that burn themselves for whatever reason into one's mind. The places I visit are mostly dark and reminiscent of nightmares in the past.

Waking up is also a shock, as one is drawn closer to the fact that one cannot escape the reality which brings about these dreams. Dreams and reality become one; and appear particularly raw in their realisation of the early hours. At the same time, I'm also aware that these hours are particularly volatile, so I resist the urge to let my mind spiral into some existential vortex. If I let that happen I would never get up. The daemons would win. So my rebellious nature kicks into remote control as always; luckily this applies just as much to my own sheepishness as for that of the general population. I guess one could say I spite life as well as death.....there is somewhere in between where I find some sort of peace; that I find solace in the minds of some chosen individuals. So it is a matter of letting these people into one's life. Somehow things become more bearable.

Was that cryptic enough or should I confuse things more?

Without these people, you would be lost, fall over the edge? I don't think I feel that strongly about anyone in my life, which is fairly sad.. Might need someone to pull me off the ledge before I tumble over. How did you find these people? The people I meet are, at the core, precisely the same as every other person in my life, the small things are all that seem to differ.. Maybe I'm just too deep in my cynical thinking to see the good in them.

Do you think it's worth it in the end? The double-edged sword, that is. Or should we just bang our heads into the wall until the thinking stops? Also, if you could make that even more cryptic, I think I'd enjoy reading it.

 

[Architect]

Was that cryptic enough or should I confuse things more?

Wonderfully obtuse.