Why do people get married or fall in love?

[NormannTheDoorman]

I still can't find any proper reason as to why.


Is love some highly developed urge to procreate?

 

[Hadoblado]

Do you even pair-bond?

 

[Rook]

Instincts, at least initially.
Many animals such as certain antelope have only one partner througout their lifetimes, if that partner dies, they are single. I think marriage fulfills the instinctive urge of humans to continue their lineage, and they instinctively choose partners who they find compatible, due to the fact that this will form a more stable environment for their younglings.

This has of course changed, just as we have changed from primitive stonemen to the species we are today. Nowadays people may marry only to ensure their own survival, ie. for monetary reasons or other such benefits.
Or they may marry simply because they enjoy each other's company or love, and choose not to have children.

This change is most evident in homosexual marriages, where reproduction is not possible.(Though adoption or in-vitro is commonly used, thus fulfiiling the instinctive need for reproduction)

 

[NormannTheDoorman]

Do you even pair-bond?

No

Never really had the urge or reason to.

 

[nanook]

I wouldn't bring the word love into it. Procreation. I can't think of another reason for a conventional marriage (where you invite family and sign something official). It doesn't really answer why people want to procreate though. I can halfway see why someone would want to have kids as such, but bringing kids into this society and into the context of your relatives seems like a different matter to me. I imagine you would have to feel that society and family are agreeable, but how is this possible?

 

[NormannTheDoorman]

I wouldn't bring the word love into it. Procreation.

That's what most teenagers associate it with.

I should probably hang out with older people.

 

[nanook]

Love = dedication to a cause.

But again, it seems to me, you would have to feel that the whole life-concept is agreeable, not just the partner. "This is it!" - Very counter Ne-tuitive.

 

[NormannTheDoorman]

I would rather adopt than make a child. I see to reason to add more to the already large population.

 

[pjoa09]

I really don't know either. Half of it goes to shit anyways. I mean all of it.

 

[EditorOne]

Not to split hairs, but there are two separate questions in your question. While people usually fall in love and then get married, there are different causes. Falling in love may be inadvertent, unintentional, an accident of mutual attraction. Getting married usually involves some reasoning out of advantages and disadvantages. It also has legal ramifications, which "mating" does not.
Most of us seem genetically hard-wired to fall in love as an evolutionary benefit to the species. Biological imperative or something.

 

[NormannTheDoorman]

Not to split hairs, but there are two separate questions in your question. While people usually fall in love and then get married, there are different causes. Falling in love may be inadvertent, unintentional, an accident of mutual attraction. Getting married usually involves some reasoning out of advantages and disadvantages. It also has legal ramifications, which "mating" does not.
Most of us seem genetically hard-wired to fall in love as an evolutionary benefit to the species. Biological imperative or something.

It seems a tad bit stranger when I think about it more.

 

[redbaron]

Love was somewhat accidental/unintentional for me. I assume it's probably the case for many others. Marriage is for more practical reasons. I can't really see a way for me to avoid love, beyond literally physically isolating myself from people altogether.

 

[EditorOne]

Isn't love pretty much an emotional condition?
Aren't we pretty much uneasy around emotions?

At the risk of being tiresome, I'm repeating an old refrain: Young folks who know they are INTP are much better equipped to deal with life than those of us who grew up without that knowledge. You will at the very least not be completely ambushed by emotional experiences like love, which can be much like finding yourself in the world's biggest buffalo stampede, one that can go on for months and reduce your ability to think to inert confusion and anxiety caused by swirling dust, stinking piles of dung, incessant thunder, and a constant battering by horns and hooves.

Self awareness is a good thing.

 

[BigApplePi]

Not to split hairs, but there are two separate questions in your question. While people usually fall in love and then get married, there are different causes. Falling in love may be inadvertent, unintentional, an accident of mutual attraction. Getting married usually involves some reasoning out of advantages and disadvantages. It also has legal ramifications, which "mating" does not.
Most of us seem genetically hard-wired to fall in love as an evolutionary benefit to the species. Biological imperative or something.

Agreed. Those are two separate issues. Falling in love is an immediate thing and is emotional. There is some value or values seen in the other person that if joined together with one is extremely enhancing ... either in reality or in fancy. Marriage is for long term.

I've been married thirty years. Before then I had a series of girlfriends, a good many for over a year. I lived with some. My wife didn't want to be another of my girlfriends and sought a longer term. I thought it was time anyway. Feel free to ask questions, but knowing this board, you won't.

 

[QuickTwist]

NormannTheDoorman, as well as other in this thread are actually the minority when it comes to their views on marriage. Marriage is a big cultural thing, a thing we have developed to give a sense of distinctive clarification on what the intentions are of the individual.

@BAP, if questions are to be asked, I suggest a new thread. Not that that will necessarily produce questions asked.

 

[BigApplePi]

@BAP, if questions are to be asked, I suggest a new thread. Not that that will necessarily produce questions asked.

There already is such a thread. It's called, Ask BAP, but I guess posters aren't interested in taking advantage of my experience.

Here is a good thread title, lol.

 

[NormannTheDoorman]

Bumping this for the sake of bumping..

 

[alludes2profundity4lyfe]

If you do not live for experience then you are a tool for someone who does. The one you serve will give you carrots as long as you serve the collective experience but ultimately all carrots are lies.

See also: Love is its own reward.
See also: There is no rational imperative to life.

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

Marriage is a decision, so it can be good, bad, meaningless.

If we were to discuss the aspect of love or lack thereof, then there are cases of marriage:
out of convenience, out of love, against ones better judgement/will, out of circumstance

Obviously, good reasons to marry would include love and convenience, while the rest is almost guaranteed to take its toll.

After two people make a good, meaningless, or a bad decision, they will direct towards what they desire or not.

There are also scenarios where one of the sides is content and the other is not. There are further scenarios where one side is never content, always content, content when the other is not, content when the other is, etc.

If people love each other, or want to spend their lives together, at the moment, because who knows how will they feel in 2 years, then getting married enhances a few things from the legal aspects of life, loans, taxes, etc.

If people are close with each other, marriage is quite irrelevant and this decision might be meaningless for them, it doesn't empower any positive feelings they have towards each other.

If they were, however at some point, to separate, then if they married, it is a problem, if they have children and other dependencies, then often it forces them to stay together and generate discontention and hatred because they are slaves to the circumstances.

Marriage might be good or without impact as long as you are independent, when you lose independence then it is more in the lines of the institutional slavery/enterprise management.