Why do I care?

[RaBind]

INTP, we are supposed to not deal with emotions and feeling well right?
Well if so how do you guys manage, or how did you guys manage in your teenage years?

I am 16, get no encouragement from my parents. When I do well in exams and stuff like that they just keep their thoughts to themselves. Their always warning me not to play computer games, because my bigger brother plays it too much and they really see it as negative. And I get shouted at for little things. Also I already stopped playing computer games for like a month now.

Today, my bigger brother had an argument with my dad. I talked to my brother after my dad left the room. When I went downstairs my dad asked me "What is he doing?", I replied "What do you think he is doing?" and he started shouting at me. I really couldn't understand this, instead I just got really angry and emotional, because I really hate misunderstandings and accusations.

I have the biggest respect for my parents even if I may not show it. I help out with the housework and study for my a levels, but still they don't seem satisfied.

What I want to know is why I even care what they think of me. Why do I let them get to me if I know that it doesn't matter. And how I can cope with all this because I get really emotional and deperessed by these things, to the extent that I wish I just didn't care.

Sorry if this sounds like a confession or a request for help but I want to know how INTPs can adjust to the emotional disadvantages they have. Also sorry if I posted in the wrong section.

 

[Dimensional Transition]

Well, INTPs are still humans... It's normal that you feel like this. Especially if you're 16(I am 16 as well.)

The reason you feel like you care, is because you do, and it's only normal. Everybody would like a good relationship with their parents.

 

[digital angel]

I agree that INTPs are human. Emotion is our least developed trait. So what?

Remember the teenage years are what they are and there's a lot of years after wards. It's great that you do well on exams. It sounds like you enjoy computer games. What else do you like?

 

[A22]

What I want to know is why I even care what they think of me.

One cares about what someone he likes thinks of him. Or someone one needs a favor from. I guess you just like your parents and care about how they feel about you.

And how I can cope with all this because I get really emotional and deperessed by these things, to the extent that I wish I just didn't care.

I get like that when I have a fight or a pretty big argument (even with people I don't know that well). I guess we're only humans after all

Just try to avoid it (the fight).

 

[Trebuchet]

INTP, we are supposed to not deal with emotions and feeling well right?
Well if so how do you guys manage, or how did you guys manage in your teenage years?

Frankly, it was hard. Your situation is pretty difficult due to communication problems with your parents, which most INTPs experience, but I didn't suffer from (much). However, I certainly had my share of misery when others misunderstood me, or judged me unfairly, so I know what you are talking about.

I have the biggest respect for my parents even if I may not show it. I help out with the housework and study for my a levels, but still they don't seem satisfied.

Are you sure they aren't satisfied? Maybe they read a parenting book that says too much praise will prevent a child from doing his best, or they think so much of you that they think of your excellence as a baseline. Could you maybe be explicit: tell them how you respect them, and that you try to show it by being helpful and studious, but you need some feedback to know if they realize how you feel? Make it clear you aren't after thanks or praise, but you need to know if there is more they are expecting.

What I want to know is why I even care what they think of me. Why do I let them get to me if I know that it doesn't matter. And how I can cope with all this because I get really emotional and deperessed by these things, to the extent that I wish I just didn't care.

Of course it matters. They are important to you, a big part of your life, and your only parents. If you didn't respect them, because they were neglectful or something, that would be a different story. INTPs have the same level of emotion as anyone else, and about the same things, but we can be more reluctant to show those feelings, and we don't like to make our decisions based on them. Being 16 and feeling misunderstood is a rotten experience, but it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. At least, nothing you won't grow past in time.

 

[RaBind]

Thanks guys for the reassurances, it really is hard to find it elsewhere.I'm gonna try to take things lightly and try to avoid these pointless arguments I guess.

What else do you like?

Not much, I like playing football and other sports but only for leasure. I like watching comedy programmes like the IT Crowd, south park, family guy...

 

[digital angel]

Glad to help.