where do you meet women?

[Ink]

ive come to ask you fellow intps this. i feel i should start going to clubs or something.

 

[Cognisant]

Women expect guys to hit on them at clubs, that's where they're at their most defensive.

Anywhere else is fine, on a bus, in an elevator, waiting in line, anywhere where you and they have reason to be and you're going to be there long enough to have a conversation.

You know how to make friends with other guys? Just do that.
Be happy, joke about something, then gauge her reaction, is she smiling too or avoiding eye contact? Don't take it personally if it seems she doesn't want to be bothered, just play the numbers game and you'll find a few that are friendly back, ask them about their day or something relevant to the situation, have lighthearted conversation for a while, tell them your name and ask for theirs, when the time comes to part ways say you enjoyed meeting them and ask for their number.

This will fail 95% of the time.
100% if you're not confident and relaxed, if you're not then you just need to hammer down your inhibitions until you are and how do you think you do that? Yep, by doing it.

I don't do this, this is what my extroverted father tells me to do.

 

[Jennywocky]

Bed, Bath, and Beyond

 

[Yellow]

We're all over the place. You can meet women in the same places you meet friends. You can meet them at house parties, at work, at school, with community groups, at the gym, in the grocery store, online, at Friday night MTG, at church, volunteering with Habitat for Humanity or the SPCA or whatever, at a political protest, and at family reunions (not advised). The more implied common interest and time you have to talk, the better chance you have.

 

[nanook]

>You know how to make friends with other guys? Just do that.

i don't know where to meet guys or how to make friends with them.

 

[Cognisant]

Hmmm, okay I got it: Enjoy the company of others.

Don't think about it, do it, partaking of enjoyment is not a conceptual thing.

You talk, they talk, some people you'll enjoy talking to and others you won't, likewise some people will enjoy your company and others won't, with a little bit of experience you begin to pick up on the kind of people you enjoy associating with pretty quickly and can identify them quickly as well.

A lack of social experience is such a difficult problem to overcome.
Go work in a customer service role that'll fix anybody

 

[Architect]

Spoiler

Be happy, joke about something, then gauge her reaction, is she smiling too or avoiding eye contact? Don't take it personally if it seems she doesn't want to be bothered, just play the numbers game and you'll find a few that are friendly back, ask them about their day or something relevant to the situation, have lighthearted conversation for a while, tell them your name and ask for theirs, when the time comes to part ways say you enjoyed meeting them and ask for their number.

This will fail 95% of the time.
100% if you're not confident and relaxed, if you're not then you just need to hammer down your inhibitions until you are and how do you think you do that? Yep, by doing it.

I don't do this, this is what my extroverted father tells me to do.

It's good advice, that's how I met my future wife. Things had gotten desperate, my random accidental dating previously wasn't panning out. So I started asking everybody around me out. Even the religiously neurotic girl, which plays into the story. You see a year earlier I had asked a new girl out for a coffee. She gave me what seemed like a brush off, so I forgot about it. She later claimed that she was just so surprised, but I much later realized it's the INFJ cold shoulder. They don't always intend it, but they do give off this vibe.

Anyhow the earlier girl (hint, the INFJ I eventually married) became more attracted to me over that year, then when coworkers saw me about to go on a date with the religious nutcase they stepped in to point out that the introverted girl I asked out a year earlier seemed interested in me. So I asked her for a date again, we fell madly in love and I dropped the neurotic religious one like she was a hot hand grenade.

Anyhow, I met an INFJ, and my soul mate purely by playing the odds by asking every warm body out.

 

[Deleted member 1424]

It's easier just to build one.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Where do you meet single women?

 

[TimeAsylums]

Where do you meet women MILFs

Bed, Bath, and Beyond

right on

 

[Ex-User (8886)]

internet

 

[Cognisant]

It's easier just to build one.

Heck soon you'll be able to buy one

Anyhow, I met an INFJ, and my soul mate purely by playing the odds by asking every warm body out.

Can't argue with that.

 

[RaBind]

Can't argue with that.

Better plan than no plan I guess.

 

[Pizzabeak]

I know this one guy who is almost a professional at meeting girls, or maybe it's picking them up. He's basically a tool/meathead and when not wearing his sunglasses he even wears them upside down on the back of his head for convenience. He isn't terribly good looking and has short spiky hair; if I was a girl I wouldn't want to be attracted to him and feel kind of sorry for the ones who end up being chosen by him; it's just that they don't get attention from anyone else. He also tries to be smart and throws around random terms like "quantum mechanics" or "einstein's theory of relativity" but that isn't his game, he's just temporarily wetting his feet, probably doing it for the chicks.

However, he's completely non-chalant about all this. As a result, he gets the most pussy out of anyone I've ever met in my life. He's fairly consistent with his proceedings and the girls like it that he says hi to them every time instead of playing any of the mind games such as "you have to play it hard to get and make them come to you";etc. They don't really care about anything else and are just waiting for any willing male to come along and put forth the effort to make a connection - it could be anyone, just whoever is first. Even if they like someone else they'll put forth no energy to hopefully become acquainted and will just go with the guaranteed flow. Girls are more afraid of rejection than even the shyest male.

The point is to just say or do anything - it literally doesn't matter. They usually allow enough time to form a picture of what most closely resembles your personality or behavior patterns, interests don't usually take priority. Of course if you are employed this helps so you can take them to Disneyland or some restaurant. This reminds me of that anecdote in which someone wanted to marry someone else's daughter and so offered him a pig, but someone else also offered him a pig and so the daughter had to choose. She decided to have them pick a number and whichever guy chose the closest number won the prize (her), so the original guy thought this was ridiculous and forfeited, leaving her to marry the other guy, because he thought true love would be more romantic than that.

 

[SpaceYeti]

Anywhere. Chicks are everywhere. If you're at the store, flirt with one. If you're at the gas station, flirt with one. It's the same anywhere except home. If you're not home, chances are there's going to be someone you can flirt with, especially in a city. Just do it.

Edit; Clubs are the worst place to meet women. Women go to clubs to dance, not to have sex. You can't talk and get to know them because of the noise, so you have no idea if you'll get along, and the fact that they're at a club for fun means they're probably not compatible with you (at least, for me). You might meet someone you have things in common with at a club, sure. I'd suggest pretty much anywhere else you would go without going there to meet women, because they're also there because of the reason you are.

 

[kora]

50% of the population approximately, not hard

 

[SpaceYeti]

Meh, that's a misleading statistic, as many are. Right away we can eliminate women who aren't in your age-range. If he's about my age, he wants to date neither a 50-year-old or a girl younger than 18. That's still a huge range and will cut his search in half-ish. Let's say 24-38 is his range Still big. How many of those women are married or seeing someone or whatever. The problem with women my age is that they tend to be married and/or have kids. Who wants to date a woman who has kids with another man? I don't. I have my own kids to worry about. Now the big one; how many women are actually attractive enough to bother with? I've never been one to judge a person's worth based on their looks, but I certainly do base how much I want to date someone and, thus, put effort into getting into their pants at least partially on whether or not I could at least maintain an erection. If you're looking for something lasting, you want them to be enough to get you hard into the foreseeable future.

Even if this brings the percentage down to, say .05%, though, the odds still require that you go out there and flirt a bit. Within 2,000 flirts, you'll have found someone willing to date you, and who you like enough to stay hard.

 

[Architect]

Better plan than no plan I guess.

Generalizing the point, what I (and others I've talked to) have found is that its better not to look for relationships. Instead it works better to create the conditions where they can happen, then wait until the right one falls into your lap.

Actively looking for this mate or that type of friend seems invariably to fail. Instead just open yourself up to most potential romantic partners (or friends) that come along (i.e. date everybody you meet, etc) and the right one will come along.

Generalizing even more this is good advice for most things in life actually. Stuck on getting a job or career? Open yourself up to everything and let it sort itself out. Seems to generally work the best.

 

[Deleted member 1424]

Heck soon you'll be able to buy one

I know! I can't wait. T'will be the end of certain types of chronic malcontents.


@Spaceyeti
I'm sorry it didn't work out with your (ex)wife. That's rough.
hmmm your wording changed. Wrong impression?