Where do I fit in?

[jlive]

I'm having trouble writing this because I don't know where to start.

I'm a married man with a 11 month old son, and I've been having issues with my wife lately. I'm trying to figure out why I act the way I do. One of my problems is I lack motivation in my life. Which led me here. I binged "complete lack of motivation" and it came up with a forum and a guy talking about this personality type. I don't know if this is me, but it sounds familiar. Here are some of my traits (in random order... and yes I feel the need to explain stuff like this for no reason) I have and was wondering if you guys can chime in.

- I like the pursuit of knowledge. I have a degree in Electrical Engineering and am now going to school for Game and Simulation Programming. I love to learn new things. Especially Technical.

- I have a job as a system test engineer for a leading aerospace company. I hate my job. I thought engineering would be designing solutions to problems and it turned into sitting in a cube all day doing powerpoint presentations and sending emails. I am Dilbert.

- I spend a lot of time programming. I found a website called project euler where they give you problems and you write programs to find the solution. I am usually my happiest during the day when I find a solution to one of these problems.

- I spend a lot of time in my head daydreaming or trying to figure things out. My wife always has to ask what am I doing because I'll have some kind of weird look on my face. I'll be mouthing words or smiling because I'm thinking of something totally oblivious to the world, until my wife snaps me out of it.

- I can't stand most people. Most people drive me crazy with their stupidity. I live in California and find it's especially bad here. I would love to be on an island alone somewhere with a library full of interesting stuff to learn. My wife really gets on me now because I call everyone a dumbass. I feel like Red Foreman. She says it can't be everyone else, it must be me. I disagree.

- I love being alone. I got married for some reason, and my wife doesn't understand that I need time alone. She takes it as an insult that I don't want to be around her 24/7.

- She calls me lazy, but I just have a complete lack of motivation when it comes to anything that doesn't interest me.

- I have no sympathy for people

- I do feel empathy

- I recently built some bookshelves in my house and was peeved to find that my house isn't square. It was built by a blind man with a hammer. I like things lined up, in order, and symmetrical. My house was none of these.

- I can laugh at anything. Disgusting, tragic, stupid. My humor has no bounds.

- I say inappropriate things sometimes in social situations. If it was mean I feel bad about it later.

- I have trouble communicating my thoughts.

- I like Sci Fi shows and dream about being in the future. My imagination seems to be limited though. I can't come up with new ideas to easy. I usually play off other peoples (like stargate... That would be awesome).

Do I fit in here, or do I seem like a different personality type?

Thanks for any input.

 

[crippli]

I think you came to the right place. I don't know if the answers will find you. I also lack motivation. But not with the wife.

 

[Dapper Dan]

ASSIMILATE

 

[dark]

Over there.

*points a finger to the corner*

ISTP. Go play with the tools...

*again points at the corner*

 

[EyeSeeCold]

My wife really gets on me now because I call everyone a dumbass. I feel like Red Foreman.

Haha. Don't know your type, but I'd say you fit right in.

Welcome to INTPf.

 

[sammael]

I'd say you fit right in.

Amen.

Read a few INTP profiles, you'll find it quite enlightening. As for the wife, the problem seems to be in her not understanding you, or understanding your differences. If you can, get her to read men are from mars women are from venus, it's not all encompassing but it tends to favour IxTx males, and people often take it as more of an authority.

 

[downsowf]

I'm assuming your question was rhetorical. I hate the idea of "fitting in."

 

[xbox]

Hello welcome.

I have a job as a system test engineer for a leading aerospace company. I hate my job. I thought engineering would be designing solutions to problems and it turned into sitting in a cube all day doing powerpoint presentations and sending emails. I am Dilbert.

Wow Thats like my dream job. I may be asking you a million questions now.

 

[jlive]

I talked to my wife about what I read about INTPs, and how I might be one. Her first words, "So how do you fix it?"

WTF. It's not a disease. It's how I work.

I'm going to have her take the personality test to she what she is. Hopefully it help me understand her a little better.

 

[Smithers10030]

I'm thinking that you fit right in with us INTP outcasts...anyways, i've been noticing that everyone mentions a job/wife/higher education. is it weird that i'm a 13 year old? Sorry if my vocabulary isn't very sophisticated but sometimes i just don't know what you guys are talking about.

Other than that, i see no problems with this site. Hoping to show the 'ITNP Interaction Manual' to my mom but she thinks i'm over-exaggerating.

 

[Dimensional Transition]

I think you fit in, but you seem more like an ISTP to me.

You're welcome regardless, though. I definitely do understand where you're coming from.

 

[Moocow]

I talked to my wife about what I read about INTPs, and how I might be one. Her first words, "So how do you fix it?"

WTF. It's not a disease. It's how I work.

I'm going to have her take the personality test to she what she is. Hopefully it help me understand her a little better.

Since you describe yourself as blunt, I hope you won't mind me saying- this is something you probably should have worked out before getting married and especially before having a child. If your wife can't accept ways that you've been your whole life, there is a major misunderstanding going on.

It's very easy for this kind of matter to breed resentment, but never helpful to do so. I hope you can work this out and get some kind of understanding from your wife, but if she refuses to accept that you're not diseased... well I don't know about you but I'd be in hell trying to tolerate condescension or what looks like contempt from my significant other.

Also consider looking up the profiles for INTP, ISTP, INTJ, and maybe ISTJ. Ignorant people tend to think introverted thinkers have some kind of mental illness, while ignoring the possibility that our most major contributions and strengths might be tied inextricably to our flaws.

 

[Dave]

ISTP! Hooray us!

 

[jlive]

I took the test on mypersonality.org and was almost 50/50 between Inuitive and Sensing. I guess I could go either way.

I had my wife take it and she was an ISTJ. It turns out that we both think we are right all the time. She thinks she's right from past actions, whereas I think I'm right from intuition.

Here is an example: I was putting up shelving in my house and it had to be stained. My wife keeps telling me it needs to be stained before you build it. I say it should be stained afterward. She thinks it should be done before because that's the way here dad did it and it worked. I think it needs to be done after because I have to nail the boards down, sand them so they fit evenly, and then putty the holes the nails made. It would be a waste to stain it first. Who is right? It could be done either way. I think I'm right.... but what INTP doesn't

 

[jlive]

Since you describe yourself as blunt, I hope you won't mind me saying- this is something you probably should have worked out before getting married and especially before having a child. If your wife can't accept ways that you've been your whole life, there is a major misunderstanding going on.

It's very easy for this kind of matter to breed resentment, but never helpful to do so. I hope you can work this out and get some kind of understanding from your wife, but if she refuses to accept that you're not diseased... well I don't know about you but I'd be in hell trying to tolerate condescension or what looks like contempt from my significant other.

Also consider looking up the profiles for INTP, ISTP, INTJ, and maybe ISTJ. Ignorant people tend to think introverted thinkers have some kind of mental illness, while ignoring the possibility that our most major contributions and strengths might be tied inextricably to our flaws.

I don't mind your bluntness. I could talk for a long time about stuff I should have done, but this is where I am now and I need to work things out. When I first met her I wasn't always as angry at everyone around me. That's happened within the last couple years. It seems to have started soon after I moved to California. There seems to be an over abundance of stupid out here that drives me crazy. I need to find a job elsewhere.

 

[sammael]

I took the test on mypersonality.org and was almost 50/50 between Inuitive and Sensing. I guess I could go either way.

As an observation, theres a lot more intuition than sensing in what you've said so far.

I had my wife take it and she was an ISTJ.

- I love being alone. I got married for some reason, and my wife doesn't understand that I need time alone. She takes it as an insult that I don't want to be around her 24/7.

Odd that she's an I and has that perspective. Does she really fit the introvert profile?

Here is an example: I was putting up shelving in my house and it had to be stained. My wife keeps telling me it needs to be stained before you build it. I say it should be stained afterward. She thinks it should be done before because that's the way here dad did it and it worked. I think it needs to be done after because I have to nail the boards down, sand them so they fit evenly, and then putty the holes the nails made. It would be a waste to stain it first. Who is right? It could be done either way. I think I'm right.... but what INTP doesn't

Heh, I'd do it the same as you. The thing with SJ's is they like to stick to what they know and what has worked before, even if it's not the best way. You should make it clear that type of thing is your responsibility and you expect not to be told how to do it. I can understand that being irritating as hell.

seems to be an over abundance of stupid out here that drives me crazy.

I think theres an abundance of stupidity everywhere, it drives me crazy too.

 

[Dapper Dan]

Also keep in mind that the tests are notoriously inaccurate. You may want to look at profiles for different personalities and see if any others fit better.

 

[digital angel]

Welcome to the forum. It sounds like you'll fit right in. I'm a tax attorney. With respect to the personality tests, I also agree that you should read as many of them as possible but keep in mind that we tend to have two faces. We have an inner face and an outer face...meaning our behavior as others may see it may not always reflect what's going on internally.

 

[pjoa09]

AW WHAT THE FUCK.

So even if you are in programming they are going to sit you down and read some e-mails to reply to?

Bloody hell. Better just sit here and let my life fuck itself.

I hope you figure your personality out. I am an IXTP as well. It's very confusing because I am imaginative and withdrawn, yet always trying to see practical uses and thrilled by active sensory activities.

Never makes any sense. You also need introverted intuition to be an ISTP. Need to have that ability to leap before you look and still know you will be alright. I seem to have it sometimes. Sometimes you are just glad you have ABS.