When is a loner not a loner?

[Richman0829]

My question relates to the movie "My Dinner with Andre". When do loners actually enjoy contact with other people? I think that I avoid most people mainly because they seem often to talk just to hear themselves talk, like they turn on a TV just to have some ambient noise; maybe they get something out of that, but it's like looking through a bushel of old coins trying to find a rare penny.

Two things that make me grit my teeth are talk that leads nowhere, and interruptions of a train of thought (the best example of this is Schopenhauer's short essay on noise). For that reason, my preferred conversational mode is email, so for me I guess the answer is a loner is not a loner when he's e-mailing.

 

[TriflinThomas]

I like people who are cognizant of being alive. It's hard to explain, but there's a difference between living and recognizing that you are a living being. I also like people who blaze lol and they have to recognize the importance of silence. The last one is important.

 

[Richman0829]

I get that. My best friends are people who read, think, and challenge life. The ones I avoid are the ones whose lives are "same old, same old". But even with BFFs I'm leery of "overstaying my welcome", when a long silence indicates a thread has been exhausted.

 

[BigApplePi]

I joined a group where everyone declared themselves loners. After a few years I related to the group but not to the individuals within it. That was a limitation.

I'm leery of "overstaying my welcome", when a long silence indicates a thread has been exhausted.

It might be of interest to revisit an old thread (say 1 year or 2 of silence) if only to get a perspective.

 

[Richman0829]

I like the idea of revisiting old threads after a few years have created a different perspective. That's another nice thing about emails and forums - people don't get their feelings hurt if there's no immediate response.