gruesomebrat
Biking in pursuit of self...
It seems that you guys have started something here. I don't blame the forum as a whole (yet), but definitely Solitaire and cheese. I realized today, while I was in class, that I'm talking about myself more now than I have in over half a decade. I may have started it all by posting about feeling myself drifting.
But then cheese started asking me questions in the Chatbox, and I didn't want to appear rude, so I answered him. And then, I ran into Synchro's thread on the Criminal Mind, thanks to Da Blob, I think, found it interesting and posted a bit, opening myself up a bit more, sharing some more about myself. Then Solitaire came along...
Solitaire had read some of my previous posts in The Criminal Mind, and wanted an ex-con's opinion on the validity of a post by some guy on another forum. This is understandable. It's one thing to take a post at it's word about the experiences described therein, but it's always preferable to get the opinion of someone you know who's gone through the same experiences. That was fine, I had already started sharing here on the forum, so I commented on the post that was allegedly from an ex-con.
Everything would have been just fine, had coincidence not reared it's ugly head today. During philosophy today, we were having a discussion about free will vs. determinism. Yesterday, we had talked about Sigmund Freud and B.F. Skinner, both proponents of determinism. No problems. Today, we started our discussion with Sartre, moved on to Albert Ellis, and ended with me sharing that I had spent 5 years in and out of prison, and that a lot of the behaviours shown in prison can easily be chalked up to environmental conditioning (Ellis's theory of what we base our decisions on). Then, two periods later, I was asked by 4 of my classmates in Economics, only one of whom had any previous first-hand knowledge of my prison time (he's in my psych class), if I had really spent time in jail, and what was it like. After class, I had a study period to catch up on some Law work that I had missed, and we ended up spending more time talking about my personal experience with the law.
Like I said, probably just coincidence, combined with the rumour mill, that 2 days after Solitaire asks for my opinion about jail, all of a sudden I'm sharing with (for all intents and purposes) 3 of my classes that I've been in jail (most of the students in Eco are also in my Law class), but still, I blame you guys.
In some ways, I suppose I should thank you for making me more comfortable opening up, but at the same time I want to be upset with you because, after all, "talking about yourself to other people requires trust, and if you trust someone, you're handing them a knife to stab into your back". Prison thinking, sure, but it seems to apply out here as well, and after my study session, when my teacher asked "What are you in court for right now, again?", followed immediately by "No, better not tell me. I don't want to have to testify against you.", it sort of drills home that kind of thinking. So, thanks, guys, for making me comfortable handing out knives to be stabbed in my back.
But then cheese started asking me questions in the Chatbox, and I didn't want to appear rude, so I answered him. And then, I ran into Synchro's thread on the Criminal Mind, thanks to Da Blob, I think, found it interesting and posted a bit, opening myself up a bit more, sharing some more about myself. Then Solitaire came along...
Solitaire had read some of my previous posts in The Criminal Mind, and wanted an ex-con's opinion on the validity of a post by some guy on another forum. This is understandable. It's one thing to take a post at it's word about the experiences described therein, but it's always preferable to get the opinion of someone you know who's gone through the same experiences. That was fine, I had already started sharing here on the forum, so I commented on the post that was allegedly from an ex-con.
Everything would have been just fine, had coincidence not reared it's ugly head today. During philosophy today, we were having a discussion about free will vs. determinism. Yesterday, we had talked about Sigmund Freud and B.F. Skinner, both proponents of determinism. No problems. Today, we started our discussion with Sartre, moved on to Albert Ellis, and ended with me sharing that I had spent 5 years in and out of prison, and that a lot of the behaviours shown in prison can easily be chalked up to environmental conditioning (Ellis's theory of what we base our decisions on). Then, two periods later, I was asked by 4 of my classmates in Economics, only one of whom had any previous first-hand knowledge of my prison time (he's in my psych class), if I had really spent time in jail, and what was it like. After class, I had a study period to catch up on some Law work that I had missed, and we ended up spending more time talking about my personal experience with the law.
Like I said, probably just coincidence, combined with the rumour mill, that 2 days after Solitaire asks for my opinion about jail, all of a sudden I'm sharing with (for all intents and purposes) 3 of my classes that I've been in jail (most of the students in Eco are also in my Law class), but still, I blame you guys.
In some ways, I suppose I should thank you for making me more comfortable opening up, but at the same time I want to be upset with you because, after all, "talking about yourself to other people requires trust, and if you trust someone, you're handing them a knife to stab into your back". Prison thinking, sure, but it seems to apply out here as well, and after my study session, when my teacher asked "What are you in court for right now, again?", followed immediately by "No, better not tell me. I don't want to have to testify against you.", it sort of drills home that kind of thinking. So, thanks, guys, for making me comfortable handing out knives to be stabbed in my back.
