What women find attractive

[ZenRaiden]

This question is mostly aimed at actual females, so I would love some actual females to answer.
I will not judge your preferences.
This is purely out of curiosity.
It dawned on me that I am older dude, and I never actually asked any females what they are attracted to.
In fact females don't exactly share this openly with anyone.

 

[birdsnestfern]

Earth signs are favorites. Then Water signs. Very warm hearted. Those that are good at making people feel good about themselves. Sensitive and helpful types. Adventurous fun spirit is good. Often talented in something. Creative in how to get your attention also nice. Big romantic gestures and flood you with love bombs is a plus too. ENFJ, INFJ or INTP, ISTP.

 

[dr froyd]

 

[birdsnestfern]

These guys are both quite attractive though:

 

[SteppeWanderer]

If you don’t have a huge schlong, it’s over

 

[ZenRaiden]

Earth signs are favorites. Then Water signs. Very warm hearted. Those that are good at making people feel good about themselves. Sensitive and helpful types. Adventurous fun spirit is good. Often talented in something. Creative in how to get your attention also nice. Big romantic gestures and flood you with love bombs is a plus too. ENFJ, INFJ or INTP, ISTP.

OK, I think this is good, but what are Earth signs like and water sings like.
Do looks play no role in attraction, as in it does not matter what looks if personality is attractive?

 

[ZenRaiden]

This is funny, because part of the women man dynamic is that men have to be themselves, women pick men for many arbitrary reasons.

 

[ZenRaiden]

If you don’t have a huge schlong, it’s over

What size are we talking about?

 

[ZenRaiden]

These guys are both quite attractive though:

I objectively don't feel attracted to the woman, in the red dress. Not sure why.

As for the guys what exactly is attractive about them?

 

[EndogenousRebel]

I think the #1 thing that women find attractive is being attractive, personality wise, income wise, appearance wise.

I swear the amount of stock they put into social evaluation outside of their control does not cease to amaze.

So long as the can justify to others with little pushback/scrutiny, they are happy to date someone who they share interests with.

Not so different from men really, except I would expect men to look at narrower criteria.

 

[birdsnestfern]

In 1990 I dated a Scorpio Republican Vietnam Vet Baseball Player Painter- actually I lived in different apartment upstairs, and he painted apartment complexes for landlords between tenants. Made a lot of money with his own painting business. What a crazy mfr. He would talk your ear off about his political views. Anyway, looks are not that important, its that you learn that you need to be compatible politically and religiously before anything else. He's the one that taught me about Buddhism though, but after knowing two republicans (my ex and this one) I learned having the same outlook politically is maybe the most important thing.

One thing that was extra nice imo was he was sterile so you didn’t worry about getting pregnant. You have no idea how that makes life easy. After youve had your limit of kids (2) women love sterile men. If you don’t want more kids, that’s a true asset. Even if you are married, it’s something to think about once you have your quota.

 

[birdsnestfern]

Earth signs are practical, steady, grounded and real life oriented. They like to work. Taurus take their time deciding things & Love beautiful things and fine food. It’s their beautiful hearts I notice.

Water signs are more emotional, have changing feelings, loyal, intense, more in tune with others feelings, can be sensitive souls.

 

[dr froyd]

This is funny, because part of the women man dynamic is that men have to be themselves, women pick men for many arbitrary reasons.

when women say be yourself they are telling you: "we are the arbiters, don't try to do anything funny, don't try to improve yourself". While in reality women's tastes are totally predicable and subject to deception - as in the man deviating from "being himself". Ultimately they are no more complicated than men.

if i would have listened to women i would have been a virgin for sure

 

[ZenRaiden]

if i would have listened to women i would have been a virgin for sure

Maybe you were being yourself.

I listen to women, but I don't intend to change because of this. I intend to figure out if there are women who fit my expectations.

I know what I want in women. More or less, but I have not had luck so far.

 

[birdsnestfern]

As for the guys what exactly is attractive about them?

The sexy tone of voice and accent, deliberate deep alluring tone, the valor, the sense of intelllect, the posture and chest, and physique, the lady and two men (3j element, and the protective warrior look maybe.

However, that’s just fantasy for most women, irl you arent that picky. Any size is fine.

 

[SteppeWanderer]

As for the guys what exactly is attractive about them?

The sexy tone of voice and accent, deliberate deep alluring tone, the valor, the sense of intelllect, the posture and chest, and physique, the lady and two men (3j element, and the protective warrior look maybe.

However, that’s just fantasy for most women, irl you arent that picky. Any size is fine.

I feel like that’s so English though

What about what’s outside of English aristocracy standards. Or is it just whoever is the top line of dominant males, and the English like portray themselves as the most dominant in the media.

I’m sure it varies a lot for example, it’s not far removed but what would an attractive German man seem like? Likewise what about American?

It reminds me of pirates of the Caribbean and how Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom were both huge heartthrobs and sex symbols afterwards, Orlando Bloom was an English actor, and Johnny Depp is American, but they were sort of outlaw characters.

There’s also this woman I know who loved K-pop and thus likes Korean boy bands in essence, they’re such pretty boys, who like singing and dancing.

on the topic of the British thing it just seems like they’re often portrayed in the media as like the ideal man or something.

 

[birdsnestfern]

English and Scots are opposites, they hate each other. English were very bad to Scots. Scots tend to be short and stocky, English are often tall and skinny or many are.

I like other types, Charles Bronson kind of sexy, Nick Nolte, Jack Nicholson, the face isn’t what’s attractive so much, sometimes its the raw animus spirit.

Bronson and Montgomery in Twilight Zone "Two" but Bronson can be very fun to watch.

Nicholson in The Deep: Pure Animus.

 

[Puffy]

At least for me, I’ve noticed women giving me more attention in environments I’m able to show my sense of humour, playfulness and charisma. It’s been very rare that someone was attracted to me for intellect, it’s more from a sense of being fun to be around.

 

[ZenRaiden]

Interesting, so what makes you attracted to someone in case its nationality feel attracted.
For me I would divide attraction in the most open ended way, that is sexual attraction, relationship attraction.

To for example sexual attraction is about what makes me want to sleep with someone,
relationship attraction wanting to spend time with.

Very warm hearted.

feel good about themselves.

Sensitive and helpful types

Adventurous fun spirit is good

Often talented in something.

Creative in how to get your attention also nice.

Big romantic gestures and flood you with love bombs is a plus too. ENFJ, INFJ or INTP, ISTP.

If you don’t have a huge schlong, it’s over

Anyway, looks are not that important

you need to be compatible politically

religiously before anything else.

I learned having the same outlook politically is maybe the most important thing

One thing that was extra nice imo was he was sterile so you didn’t worry about getting pregnant.

You have no idea how that makes life easy.

After youve had your limit of kids (2) women love sterile men.

steady, grounded and real life oriented

They like to work.

Taurus take their time deciding things & Love beautiful things and fine food. It’s their beautiful hearts I notice.

Water signs are more emotional, have changing feelings, loyal, intense, more in tune with others feelings, can be sensitive souls.

The sexy tone of voice and accent,

deliberate deep alluring tone

the valor

the sense of intelllect

Can you specify?

the posture and chest,

Like big pecs and not slouching?

and physique,

Fit, athletic?

the lady and two men (3j element, and the protective warrior look maybe.

This is the one I don't get, what does this mean?

 

[SteppeWanderer]

Wel

English and Scots are opposites, they hate each other. English were very bad to Scots. Scots tend to be short and stocky, English are tall and skinny or many are.
No, I like other types, Charles Bronson kind of sexy, Nick Nolte, Jack Nicholson, the face isn’t what’s attractive so much, the animus or anima is what you notice.

Well the English conquered virtually the whole known world. Scotland is not separate from Britain though, technically, so I doubt there’s really that much of a difference between them.

I don’t really believe in the anima, animus stuff, I think most of what people think of as gender are in fact complex concepts created as a product of civilization to divide and control people. Who’s to say how a person should look, act or behave. Many people are very mouldable to their environments as well, but then you get those few individuals who just don’t quite fit.

 

[SteppeWanderer]

Interesting, so what makes you attracted to someone in case its nationality feel attracted.
For me I would divide attraction in the most open ended way, that is sexual attraction, relationship attraction.

To for example sexual attraction is about what makes me want to sleep with someone,
relationship attraction wanting to spend time with.

Very warm hearted.

feel good about themselves.

Sensitive and helpful types

Adventurous fun spirit is good

Often talented in something.

Creative in how to get your attention also nice.

Big romantic gestures and flood you with love bombs is a plus too. ENFJ, INFJ or INTP, ISTP.

If you don’t have a huge schlong, it’s over

Anyway, looks are not that important

you need to be compatible politically

religiously before anything else.

I learned having the same outlook politically is maybe the most important thing

One thing that was extra nice imo was he was sterile so you didn’t worry about getting pregnant.

You have no idea how that makes life easy.

After youve had your limit of kids (2) women love sterile men.

steady, grounded and real life oriented

They like to work.

Taurus take their time deciding things & Love beautiful things and fine food. It’s their beautiful hearts I notice.

Water signs are more emotional, have changing feelings, loyal, intense, more in tune with others feelings, can be sensitive souls.

The sexy tone of voice and accent,

deliberate deep alluring tone

the valor

the sense of intelllect

Can you specify?

the posture and chest,

Like big pecs and not slouching?

and physique,

Fit, athletic?

the lady and two men (3j element, and the protective warrior look maybe.

This is the one I don't get, what does this mean?

Women like broad shoulders generally, I heard that it’s similar to a woman’s hourglass figure

And don’t forget huge schlong

 

[birdsnestfern]

Hmm, on the intellect, its something in the forehead and eyes that indicate a thinker/empath/psychic person.
Often you might see horizontal lines running across the center of a forehead. If I can find a photo tomorrow, I'll look.

Oh, well, SteppeWanderer, you haven't watched the Outlander series then. Big difference between English and Scots to me. Scots were oppressed for decades and carry an entirely different psyche. I see and feel it anyway.
Can you find pictures of what you like and post?

Everyone has their own sense of what is attractive so my values won't match anyone elses.

The Triad where you have two men and a women is fascinating too, I mean it often shows up in movies to make things more tense and then dissolves into one or the other winning out.

 

[SteppeWanderer]

Hmm, on the intellect, its something in the forehead and eyes that indicate a thinker/empath/psychic person.
Often you might see horizontal lines running across the center of a forehead. If I can find a photo tomorrow, I'll look.

Oh, well, SteppeWanderer, you haven't watched the Outlander series then. Big difference between English and Scots to me. Scots were oppressed for decades and carry an entirely different psyche. I see and feel it anyway.
Can you find pictures of what you like and post?

Everyone has their own sense of what is attractive so my values won't match anyone elses.

The Triad where you have two men and a women is fascinating too, I mean it often shows up in movies to make things more tense and then dissolves into one or the other winning out.

I don’t find men attractive at all, I have just spent a long time trying to understand what women find attractive

 

[ZenRaiden]

Women like broad shoulders generally, I heard that it’s similar to a woman’s hourglass figure

And don’t forget huge schlong

Do you find broad shoulders attractive?

 

[ZenRaiden]

And don’t forget huge schlong

That is something I understand. Its like mens preference of big boobs.
Unfortunately its two things either sex cannot change.
Boobs though can grow with good nutrition, and penis may probably grow a little more with better growth during puberty.

 

[LOGICZOMBIE]

end of story

 

[ZenRaiden]

end of story

I find it hilarious and I do believe most women do like richer guys, but for me personally women that want me for money are a huge turn off.
I will probably not talk about money on a date.
I find ambitions and money as traits incompatible type of thing for me.
Because that would mean females are pushy.
If there is one thing that ruins it for me is being in a room with pushy people.
I cannot even imagine having a serious relationship with a female on these grounds.

 

[LOGICZOMBIE]

men increased tips 30%
women increased tips 40%

 

[LOGICZOMBIE]

I cannot even imagine having a serious relationship with a female on these grounds.

yeah, but it's always there, even if they say it's not

also

women like pectoral muscles

again, a lot of women will say they don't care about looks, but they most certainly do

men who look like they work out get approached by women

this is a simple fact

 

[ZenRaiden]

yeah, but it's always there, even if they say it's not

Sure makes sense, financial security is big these days, I think women would quickly discover though that is not my thing or problem. Hence it would really become a conscious thing on their part.

women like pectoral muscles

I heard those things, but I also heard the shoulder thing and so on.
Probs real thing.

again, a lot of women will say they don't care about looks, but they most certainly do

I have heard about no looks thing and I have not found many women who want to date elephant man.

men who look like they work out get approached by women

Sometimes I go to the gym and I look like I am working out XD

this is a simple fact

I know, but I don't trust science of attraction, because I have read lots of things that contradict science of attraction.
Never mind midget porn.

 

[birdsnestfern]

How genuinely similar two people are is even better. Money is fine IF they are not jerks with other people. Ie, humble is a good trait.

I'm not really into a purely materialistic type that much, unless they show metaphysical kindness. More depth is needed than just material basically. And, many men who are rich tend to be too powerful for comfort. Spiritual awareness is good too.

Its a certain type of sophisticated kind intelligence.

 

[LOGICZOMBIE]

I know, but I don't trust science of attraction, because I have read lots of things that contradict science of attraction.

i'm only talking about what i've seen with my own eyes

 

[LOGICZOMBIE]

How genuinely similar two people are is even better. Money is fine IF they are not jerks with other people. Ie, humble is a good trait.

 

[LOGICZOMBIE]

I heard those things, but I also heard the shoulder thing and so on.
Probs real thing.

oh, and if you're looking for something easy

a motorcycle jacket is worth a shot

 

[LOGICZOMBIE]

The Triad where you have two men and a women is fascinating too, I mean it often shows up in movies to make things more tense and then dissolves into one or the other winning out.

 

[Cognisant]

Men assume women think like men.
Women assume men think like women.
They don't.

Men and women have some similarities but they also have some very fundamental difference in their desires and anxieties.

Men hate infidelity in a manner that goes beyond getting mad, if a woman cheats on a man she is dead to him, he mourns her like she died and from then on considers her a stranger.

Women get mad if they're cheated on but it also excites them, women want most what other women want, indeed infidelity is usually initiated by women who knowingly chase men with wedding rings and get mad when the guy (who took advantage of this) tells her that he isn't married.

This is why men have more of a reputation as cheaters, a man can cheat repeatedly and deal with the consequences of getting caught each time (i.e. having a mistress) whereas if a women gets caught once the relationship is over, she either receives the "dead to me" treatment or loses all respect for him.

This is because a woman always knows a child is hers whereas before the very recent advent of DNA tests a man could never really be sure. Fundamental differences in the human condition of each gender equate to evolved fundamental differences in mentality.

Women want men who can protect and provide, men want women who can procreate and nurture, we are different but complementary, two parts of one whole.

If you want to be a desirable man be capable, competent and confident.

If you ask women what the want you will never get a straight answer because they don't want you to follow their lead, they want you know and to show them why you're desirable. It's like being a salesperson, you don't sell something by asking someone what they want, you tell them why they want what you're selling.

@ZenRaiden pretend I'm a woman and tell me why I want you.

Sell Me This Pen

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www.youtube.com

 

[LOGICZOMBIE]

@ZenRaiden pretend I'm a woman and tell me why I want you.

i've never thought of a date like a job-interview

but maybe i should have

 

[LOGICZOMBIE]

If you want to be a desirable man be capable, competent and confident.

you're a great guy with great skills, you're gunna do great

 

[Black Rose]

Man: I think you are cute

Woman: I want to have your baby

-

Really it depends on men and women being socially smart.

A socially smart man will notice and do things for the woman who is also smart enough to see he is able to do what he says he will do and not be a pushover.

A socially dumb man as long as he can do stuff will attract women but not that smart of a woman.

Women can tell if a man has problems but it depends on if she is damaged as well.

Abuse is not good and she will protect her children at any cost.

Women also view men as they view their father. This will make them put up with allot or a little. Depending on the strength of character they see in him. Some aspects are good and some are bad.

Men see their mother as people who they hate or love. So this is how they view women. But it also depends on wanting a relationship of control or of the nurture they did not receive in a broken family.

If people do not get what they need men or women then they will seek that from the opposite sex. People are not necessarily mature as teenagers when the sex drive is developing so this is the time when a relationship is obscured if they do not have set examples for them to follow. Healthy mature persons in relationships will try and set good examples to follow.

 

[LOGICZOMBIE]

 

[LOGICZOMBIE]

 

[SteppeWanderer]

Are there any women out there who are leftists though and don’t buy the capitalist propaganda that your job is the direct result of how hard you work or is due to some innate tendency you possess, there is an untold amount of people who never meet their true potential, and it’s not their fault.

Women are petit bourgeois oppressors

 

[dr froyd]

a lot of concepts men have about what women find attractive is based on monkey science, on account of prototypical evolutionary-biology science being based on animals like chimpanzees. It's all mostly wrong, because it doesn't account for the one critical question: why did pre-humans evolve into humans and not monkeys.

that's how you end up with confused concepts like "alpha male" - which is a chimpanzee concept

so then you have 4 potential sources of ideas on that thing: 1) confused men's monkey science, 2) confused women's stated preferences based on social conditioning and what they are told to like by pop culture, 3) modern evolutionary-biology theory (like geoffery miller's "the mating mind"), and then 4) men who have tried everything between heaven and earth and learned by trial and failure.

only the last 2 are valid sources

 

[EndogenousRebel]

Looking for someone with hobbies is a general green flag.

If someone sees that you are passionate about things, and pay attention to details, of even a niche thing like trading cards, it's a great filter for shallow people anyways.

You only want to attract attractive people, and it's completely okay to have different criteria of attraction, I don't think people should invest in this idea that there are universal principles of being attractive. At some point, it's just common sense.

 

[ZenRaiden]

so then you have 4 potential sources of ideas on that thing: 1) confused men's monkey science, 2) confused women's stated preferences based on social conditioning and what they are told to like by pop culture, 3) modern evolutionary-biology theory (like geoffery miller's "the mating mind"), and then 4) men who have tried everything between heaven and earth and learned by trial and failure.

I never read anything on this topic, but what people say in general sounds rubbish.

Now that I think about it what you say makes a lot of sense.
Humans need to be smart and adaptable.
Which means select for best mate is about choice of correct adaptation.

The whole alpha male thing is a trap, because I literally don't see it as anything, but fantasy.
Nothing about alpha males seems like they could be valuable beyond faking confidence.

 

[SteppeWanderer]

How genuinely similar two people are is even better. Money is fine IF they are not jerks with other people. Ie, humble is a good trait.

The problem is I hardly remember my real parents yet somehow
I am still attracted to women who remind me of my real mother not the woman who raised me my surrogate mother

 

[birdsnestfern]

what would an attractive German man seem like?

My ex is German. We fought like cats and dogs. I loved the argument then though. Is like sparring spirit to spirit and liking it.

 

[SteppeWanderer]

what would an attractive German man seem like?

My ex is German. We fought like cats and dogs. I loved the argument then though. Is like sparring spirit to spirit and liking it.

 

[EndogenousRebel]

I never read anything on this topic, but what people say in general sounds rubbish.

Look into the science of "courtship". This is something that has been studied, and I think it's really fascinating. Google scholar maybe.

The implication I'm drawing from studies I've skimmed in the past: is that two parties are knowingly begin engaging and investing in each other with little in return.

Courtship is broken down into phases, but that's getting theoretical. Life is messy, You kinda just have to be very "nice" with people, and if they are "nice" with you, it could lead to something, if not a good companion?

I know a lot of people with messed up values, so I don't really seek out relationships so much myself, but I'm pretty pro-social. Having people in your life you can bounce ideas off of is really healthy. It's just a matter of people that don't excessively micromanage conversations because they really want to talk about whatever *is paining them for the day.