What is your latest social blunder?

[Drvladivostok]

Are INTPs more prone to blundering in social situations? This have been basically a trend in my social life, I constantly alienate random people because I don't follow social formality, Inferior Fe is a bitch.

I had a meeting with my mooting competition project, my group consist of about 20 people (Some were cosplaying as lawyers, some as prosecutors, some as Judges), so I don't know everyone on the group, so I we were discussing what were the possible line of legal 'argument' we should engage in to make to look realistic, my supposed opponent (Prosecutor) had a legal argument which is easily countered and is full of holes, I told her her argument is too weak, she told me it was so that we don't have to research as much legal documents, an argument ensues, she told me to tone down my interruption and rudeness, I told her to tone down her stupidity, the next thing I know everyone was telling me to shut up like I was in the wrong.

She was purposefully making her argument stupid, I was on her side so she doesn't look bad in front of the tutor, how am I in the wrong?? Between my friends (ENTP, INFJ, INFP) I'm the least socially considerate and therefore most likely to blunder, they told me I have to 'cosplay' and chameleon my way through people, can we do this to the level that we can look genuine? To what degree is this social cosplaying necessary?

 

[math_insanity]

Something that happened to me recently was:

It was one of my first days physically at university, and my friend and her girl friend were speaking with this other classmate, getting to know about eachother. I was sitting in the front desk, my friend was seated in the second one and the guy they were speaking with (I think he was a few years older), was sitting behind them. I was bored so I turned around and started listening to their lively conversation. At some point, the classmate noticed me and said: “Hello there, nice to meet you, where are you from?” and reached out his hand as for a handshake. I told him where I am from, but remained stuck at how I should respond to the handshake gesture. I was very confused, since we were two desks apart and I had no way of reaching for his hand, therefore I had two options; either make an awkward “distance - handshake gesture”, that would definitely be embarrassing, or I could raise up and go to his desk for handshake, but that would be a bit weird as well… right? He kept staring with his hand reached out, waiting, which made it all worse. So, trying to calculate which is less awkward I got a bit soaced out for a good few moments… Well, my brain somehow decided that least embarassing was to get up, but as I started to do so he started to laugh and said: “oh, you needn’t get up”. I started laughing nervously muttering “heh… yeah, I guess I am a bit autistic myself” while everyone was laughing

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

I think low Fi is a bigger cause of social blunders than Fe. Intps have way shittier Fi than even their Fe. Or to put it differently, people who identify as XXTX thinkers, INTP included, tend to block off their emotions or limit the degree to which their decisions and words are dictated by their concern for or understanding of others.

From what I've seen there's a noticeably higher percentage of people with ASD, Anxiety, ADHD, Psychosis and low social intelligence who identify as XNTP, myself included.
My theory is that healthier people would not identify as INTP, but more frequently score as INFP or ENFP, or generally wouldn't bother trying to understand themselves to even come across mbti which in itself doesn't describe the whole personality range.

My latest social blunder was yesterday on this forum, it was a pretty big one too. I repeatedly called Froyd a racist because I was triggered by culture comparisons used in a racist context. I don't have this problem IRL as much because I'm a calm introvert and it's online where I'm an edgy extrovert so last time I blundered IRL was around November when I reached out my hand to shake hands with my father-in-law when he extended his hand because he was trying to take my coat to hang it in the wardrobe, mild confusion ensues.

 

[birdsnestfern]

Very prone to social blunders, but its because I'm a six sensory empath and my brain is not like other brains, I learn something new with every human interaction. Mostly to keep topics to mundane ground level topics like finding parking spaces, weather, real life things and not go into territory I actually find interesting like the spirit world.

Suggestion: Try carrying a Hematite crystal in your pocket, or some Lepidolite. Hematite will help keep you grounded & Lepidolite will create an energetic cocoon so you don't mirror back strong emotions as much. Blue lace agate is great for creating a peaceful calm mind.

It sounded like you were being the bright one, and they were afraid to go that far, or didn't know what your reasoning was fully.

Maybe have to look on youtube for some persuasive techniques. Don't worry, just find ways to be inclusive and kind and they will see you are on their team too.

Mostly, have to see it as "you and them" in everything that happens socially, and its always a learning process.

Look at the two extremes: If too selfish its all about you vs if too selfless you give everything away. The middle ground is healthy self interest - where you are aware of what you need and also what they need. Ask universe to bring the best version of me to the world you are going to need a lot of gifts, and stay open to those gifts (of learning and intuiting), in order to bring YOUR best gifts to the world. Healthy self interest means you include both sides so everyone belongs.

It often seems like there are a million different ways to interpret something and the more people involved, the muddier it gets.

Also, can practice saying your viewpoint in a mirror or video yourself trying to be persuasive to see if you have enough confidence and your spirit comes through your message and if your video comes out the way you intended to. Everyone is equal in a circle.

 

[ZenRaiden]

I forgot whether I forgot to turn off the stove.
So I had to go up and see if its on and it was off, but it was pretty scary for a second.

 

[birdsnestfern]

Oh yeah, now I am not normally OCD, but that is one thing I've had to train myself on, to check twice if the stove is off and all the doors are locked before I leave. And, look behind me in dressing rooms or public places before I leave.

 

[EndogenousRebel]

Its a cliché but: it doesn't really matter what you say, as much how you say it. INTPs I think would naturally gravitate towards the "true" meaning of something regardless of what is said or how it is said.

To most people the way you responded to the person would indicate something like disgust. When her reasoning indicated altruism. Also most people don't care about diligence in their schooling, they want a grade.

You yourself don't have to mask your true nature. You just need to dress up your diction and tone. Tone being subjective, yet easy to analyze. The words you use should be a chameleon for the meaning below them.

 

[Daddy]

She was purposefully making her argument stupid, I was on her side so she doesn't look bad in front of the tutor, how am I in the wrong?? Between my friends (ENTP, INFJ, INFP) I'm the least socially considerate and therefore most likely to blunder, they told me I have to 'cosplay' and chameleon my way through people, can we do this to the level that we can look genuine? To what degree is this social cosplaying necessary?

Everyone is wrong on some level in almost every social problem, but man, if they are making you think that much about it, then maybe they should fuck off. This is almost abusive. Not everyone has to or should be an actor with everybody they meet. You can just be cordial and recognize when certain ways of being are appropriate or not, without having to become fuckin Tom Cruise, you know.

/I may be projecting a bit here...

 

[ZenRaiden]

 

[sushi]

you either try your best or not give a damn about other people

i dont see a third option.

 

[birdsnestfern]

Some of my social blunders generally are: Being too honest or deeper than called for when questions are asked. Not realizing other people judge strongly on surface strengths and acting and whether you smile at them and how you make them feel. Generally being present and energetic enough to interact is rare, do I always spill so much energy onto people? No. Only happens on those rare days when everything is sunshine. Knowing what topics are 'safe' in a culture I wasn't raised in, for example, I'm a Californian in the deep South, so I just can't be myself without repercussions, I know very little about Christian Southern values and thats a big one.