Female intp here, I've been friends with a female infj for several years. We're in our early twenties.
She's warped though. Clearly not the super caring angel usually described as infj's.
Here's my experience of that infj, I can't tell for the others.
Cons of friendship :
- She isn't very honest, she can and most probably will lie clumsily to try to get away with mistakes she does instead of apologizing.
- Extreme conflict avoidance, will prefer lying to you to avoid any. If she's cornered she will apologize, but if you try to discuss about the problem any more, she'll be hurt. She will think you're just being mean to her. That might be some kind of twisted T/F conflict.
- She can't take criticism at all, if you say she could improve one little thing she'll be in a horrible mood for the next couple of hours.
- She'll ask for your advice or will ask you what you think about something, but she won't really want to know what you think, she'll just wants you to validate what she thinks. If you don't, she'll keep her first mindset anyway. And be slightly annoyed.
- Speaking of wich, trying to change the mindset of an infj is like trying to pierce trough a thick steel wall with a paper plane. Good luck.
- It seems to be common thinking that infj's can't be materialistic but she is very materialistic. Seems like it's because she's in a really dark place and buying stuff is her way of coping. It isn't really a friendship con since it doesn't affect it, but I though it was worth mentioning. If she could choose between a billion dollar and world peace, I seriously wonder if she'd choose the money.
- Even though she might want to help her closest friends, she's kinda oblivious and won't try to dig further if she thinks their problem isn't serious. Steel wall and paper plane problem thing.
- Solid friendships takes forever to build, and 2.3 seconds to burn to the ground.
Pros of friendship :
- Infinite puzzle solving trying to understand what the hell is going on inside her head.
- I find it satisfying when she share her deep thoughts and insecurities with me, means I'm doing a great job.
- She's tidier than me. She keeps the place clean. Although that might be a con for her.
- We're both introverted so we can see each other and still be at our respective computers if we feel like it, nobody will be pissed off about it. Same goes with taking naps if one of us is tierd. Freedom.
- She never did harm because she meant to. Deep down she has a kind heart.
- Whenever we happen to like the same stuff at the same time, we often have sleepless nights just talking and joking about it. Good memories
- She laughs at my jokes
- Somehow I just can't stay mad at her even though sometimes I should.
- Somehow she just can't stay mad at me even though I always push her to do stuff she don't want to
