What has been your most intense, emotional experience?

[Rebis]

How did the event shape your behaviour in the future?

Let's tap into each other personally, below the surface.

 

[peoplesuck]

It's pretty obvious for me, when my teacher ghosted me. I learned a lot about people and myself, I didnt really know what depression meant until my world lost color. I wont be putting that kind of emotional stock in anyone for a very long time. Its good to get hurt, it allows you to understand people who are hurting. I also cannot look at people like they are dumb when they get duped. She sort of taught me everyone is generally a mess, no one has it figured out, dont compare your insides with other people's outsides. @Rebis you didnt share yours

 

[Gnurp]

I'd say marital issues are the most intense - especially after you've had kids. It's a time to be very clever and considerate, meanwhile my Fe Demon is like :

 

[Puffy]

First one was choosing to leave Christianity when I was 19. That led to a 1-2 year mental breakdown and identity crises. I interpret that now as what first initiated the emergence of my actual self. I lived a false life up until that point. It's also what first started cracking the armour around my family trauma which is still ongoing.

Second one was when Lyra from this forum commit suicide when I was 25 as we were best friends IRL at the time. Intense grief, the effects of which were with me for a few years after really. I interpret that now as being the moment my rolemodel or hero died and I was forced to question, deconstruct & devalue everything he meant to me. I see that process as eventually leading to my discovery of what my true values are, as opposed to his, and learning to embrace my own potential rather than deny it by putting others up on a pedestal instead. That process is still unfolding as well tbh but it definitely started then.

Most recent one is probably apparent. Loss of my first love (never dated until I met her), her descent into madness, and eventual suicide. Intense swings from very deep feelings of love to intense sadness and grief. Reverberations of family grief bubbling to the surface as my parents were both suicidal at young stages in my life. I have no idea where that one will go but it's very powerful. I think it's about learning what love is, for myself and others, and learning to embrace that for myself to redeem myself.

All of these things are continuously unfolding, one after the other, as each one bursts a new hole in the childhood cocoon of armour and programming. Dabrowski's positive disintegration theory seems really apt. Everything slowly and mercifully broken down in order to make space for the light to come through.

 

[Ex-User (14663)]

When I was like 4 years old and foolishly stepped into an ant hive. That shit was wild, yo. Ever since that event I’ve been skeptical towards ants.

 

[peoplesuck]

I had a bit of a mental breakdown when my sugar glider died, I just couldnt help but realize everything I love either dies or leaves me. :l