what do you do when you are stressed/pushed?

[peoplesuck]

When i ask this i am talking about when someone tests your patience and you need to work with them. Also to the point where they are really making you crazy. When this happens i usually withdraw and everything around me seems surreal, very interesting exp.

Wasn't sure if this would be relationships or INTP so yeah.

 

[Base groove]

The surreality you're referring to is a state I take on when somebody is deliberately trying to bully me or they are being stupid (but are in charge). I'm frequently in the situation where I'm at a new job and I disagree with some "lead hand" dude on what should be done or how or whatever ... and I'm quite stubborn, so if they start arguing with me or telling me to change my ways I glaze over a bit. I mean, I'm open minded, but some people have only ever worked for one guy before in this trade so they really only have one set of tricks while I have worked for over one hundred so my bag of tricks is overflowing.

Oh but if somebody whom I consider an equal is testing my patience I can get angry. I will be come cold and wide-eyed... sarcastic, confrontational, condescending, arrogant... and finally express real anger.

 

[peoplesuck]

Im guessing withdrawing is what intps mostly do.

 

[Lot]

I may or may not withdraw. I usually get stubborn and angry. Threats of violence may or may not happen. With peer pressure I usually withdraw, then get angry and stubborn.

TBH when I did group work in school, I would play dumb and make the other people do most of the work. Teachers where dumb enough to put some ESJ in most groups. Can't do that in an actual job, though. It's too important to make the boss like me, so I get treated better. Eventually they come to me with their issues, and I advise with my methods.

I have cussed people in groups out for being dicks. When I'm set off, there is no holding my tongue.

 

[peoplesuck]

When im mad i usually try and make them hate themselves by pointing out all their flaws. Cant really hurt an intp like this because they except their flaws from what i know.

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

Depending on my authority and situation I would decide to:

-persuade them to stop and leave me, so that the situation becomes rational again
-tell them to fuck off
-ignore them and go about my things
-leave their area of influence
-remove their influence from me
-if nothing else is possible, I would shut my senses and try to finish my business as quickly as possible, or wait things out

 

[Jennywocky]

Primary strategy: Withdraw / Limit contact so as to preserve a functional working relationship and not burn bridges.

Secondary strategy: Learn more about the person and see if there's something I can do to change their interaction style with me or change my attitude towards them.

This could mean a lot of things:
- Empathize with them in a way that I can now accept their approach.
- Get in their face, if I realize that will earn me respect / get them to engage more productively.
- Figure out what I need to tell them about me, to get them to ease up.


... if I happen to have authority, then I'm willing to pull rank, but I also think asserting power crudely can backfire over time / earn animosity. I'd still be looking for a way to reduce tension and avoid a future explosion, although that's not always possible.

 

[Base groove]

Primary strategy:

 

[Jennywocky]

Don't forget the boats too.

 

[peoplesuck]

Can someone tell me what the major difference between intp and intj are? I cant figure it out

 

[Base groove]

Can someone tell me what the major difference between intp and intj are? I cant figure it out

I'm sorry you won't get an answer to this question here; you'll need to make a new thread.

Or change the tittle of this one.

 

[redbaron]

When i ask this i am talking about when someone tests your patience and you need to work with them. Also to the point where they are really making you crazy.

Depends on the person really. I think there's ways to prevent this situation with a little grace and patience.

I've had this with an ENTJ boss who many other people had worked with and warned me that he was a domineering control freak. So when I didn't like one of his ideas I'd say, "That's a great idea, I think I can add to it." Even if the the idea wasn't that great, I think one needs to realize that a lot of the time people don't see the flaws in their ideas. With this in mind, it helps to be understanding of that. As much as I want to do so, when it comes to a work environment it's not good to shoot people down without explaining and demonstrating why.

In the end he ended up being one of the most enjoyable people I've ever worked with, because I wasn't afraid to stand up to him without making it into a battle of wills.

While some people might simply be incorrigible, I think that in a majority of cases both parties tend to exaggerate situations like this. If I can't create a working relationship with someone, I always look to see what I can change - not what I can change about them. Often all you have to do is word things a certain way and you can avoid all issues.

 

[Riiscup]

What base groove said for me.

I first try to get the person to understand the error of their ways nicely and if they don't get it and I still have to deal with them I just kind of mentally dismiss them and glaze over so to speak. I let them do what they want and make it known that I have nothing to do with whatever the endeavor is. If they don't know how to work together, they can work alone.

If its just some regular somebody though- totally different story!

 

[Grayman]

When i ask this i am talking about when someone tests your patience and you need to work with them. Also to the point where they are really making you crazy. When this happens i usually withdraw and everything around me seems surreal, very interesting exp.

Wasn't sure if this would be relationships or INTP so yeah.

This is too situational for me to answer. Is it possible that it might reoccur? Will addressing the problem solve anything? Will getting upset solve anything? Will yelling make this individual care that he is making you suffer? Will pointing out the issue make him realize what he is doing and make him stop? Does he take suggestions well? What are the consequences of the action you choose?

Withdrawing is the last thing I would do. I used to do it when younger.

I don't withdraw but I do shut down my emotional system most of the time to objectively address the situation and then respond in a way that seems most reasonable while letting my emotions control some things that are appropriate in accomplishing my task.

 

[Klavierr]

I first try to get the person to understand the error of their ways nicely and if they don't get it and I still have to deal with them I just kind of mentally dismiss them and glaze over so to speak. I let them do what they want and make it known that I have nothing to do with whatever the endeavor is. If they don't know how to work together, they can work alone.

All of this is also what I do, in the context of a group partner either not tugging their weight or not taking any advice I give/not following my way If i am the leader.

But if somebody "pushes me too far" as in does something or says something to me that is so sudden and awful that I have no logical way to react, I just shut down. My mind goes blank, I stare blankly, and my heart hammers. Although a lot of people do this, not just INTPs.

another situation- if "pushing me too far" implies being unpleasant or just a plain asshole to me when I am putting in effort into being friendly with them, I force back the indignant arguments, and coldly dismiss them and ignore them. A lot of people tend to be assholes because they love the reactions they get from others, and they feel that it puts them in a position of power. I know enough to not give them that power, maintain my own, and ignore them completely. And I make sure they know exactly why I am doing this. It puts people back in line, to have their "secret plans" told back to them, with textbook accuracy and bluntness.

 

[WALKYRIA]

brah, try masturbation.. best stress relieving activity ever ! EVER ! Instant action !
Otherwise if the situation doesn't allows me to masturbate( ublic place or gathering) ... than I zone out and daydream.

 

[Minuend]

I disengage my feelings so that I wont be annoyed, irritated or angry as I interact with that person. That way I can treat them quite neutrally.

In most situations so far it has been people who have some sort of personality disorder, or a personality that just rubs me the wrong way and it is of no importance, making it not worth doing anything about. I understand how that person is limited to a certain set of behavior and that changing it is often impossible.

So I just don't speak to them unless I have to.

I will confront people if they are out of line. It depends on severity how angry I will sound. I will still be respectful and address the issue, not the person.

But generally I don't tend to have conflicts with people. I don't make suggestions or corrections of people where I know it will have no effect. I nod along with what they say, then do my own thing anyway. If I do attempt to make corrections, I either ask somewhat "innocently", not making a suggestion per se. Or I just say it in a nice way in general.

I do tend to have good relations with most of my co-workers. I've had very few dramatic encounter.s

 

[BrainVessel]

I'll withdraw from everything and will be literally incapable of doing anything substantially productive.

My strategy for avoiding such a condition is psyching myself down to a state of almost complete apathy. About anything.
I still have my ethics and values, but if anything, even something pretty detrimental goes wrong I would hardly care.
In other words, I wouldn't do anything to put something I value at risk, but if it blew up in my face I would make myself not care quickly and with ease.
It's the only way I can cope.