Watching yourself

[B.C.P.]

I've been working in a place with a lot of shiny windows and I've noticed that I look at my own reflection a lot.

It's strange to see what I look like, from outside, with others around, almost as if by seeing my reflection I fully realize I am present in the room just like everyone else. I also notice my posture and bodily movements when I'm walking in public where others, no-one in particular, can see me.

I don't look at my reflection to an inordinate degree otherwise, except in front of the bathroom mirror where, only on rare occasions, I take extra time to make funny faces or tell myself I'm handsome (whether or not it's true).

Maybe I'm self-conscious.

Do you guys think this is weird?

 

[DelusiveNinja]

No. It's not weird I forget I am a denizen of society all the time. In fact, I've dreamed up a device that would let me see myself from a third person point of view. When I create it after college I will never forget again.

Here I am posting fluff again. CURSE YOU INSUFFERABLE BOREDOM PROCRASTINATION!!!!Also what I said doesn't justify it as not weird so.....

 

[Jennywocky]

I've been working in a place with a lot of shiny windows and I've noticed that I look at my own reflection a lot.

It's strange to see what I look like, from outside, with others around, almost as if by seeing my reflection I fully realize I am present in the room just like everyone else. I also notice my posture and bodily movements when I'm walking in public where others, no-one in particular, can see me.

I don't look at my reflection to an inordinate degree otherwise, except in front of the bathroom mirror where, only on rare occasions, I take extra time to make funny faces or tell myself I'm handsome (whether or not it's true).

Maybe I'm self-conscious.

Do you guys think this is weird?

I don't really see much as 'weird,' it's just you focus on it for some reason. Thought the phrase "checking to see if you're present like everyone else" is interesting; I've had moments when I felt like everything was very UNREAL and sometimes a visual cue will help solidify things.

I actually talk to myself when I'm alone and make faces at myself in the mirror. Sometimes I'll even dance in front of my floor-length, just to see how stupid (or not) I look... I don't know what I look like to anyone else and I'm curious. (Note I never really do much body-wise around others, I'm kind of a floating mind.)

 

[DrGregoryHouse]

I've been working in a place with a lot of shiny windows and I've noticed that I look at my own reflection a lot.

It's strange to see what I look like, from outside, with others around, almost as if by seeing my reflection I fully realize I am present in the room just like everyone else. I also notice my posture and bodily movements when I'm walking in public where others, no-one in particular, can see me.

I don't look at my reflection to an inordinate degree otherwise, except in front of the bathroom mirror where, only on rare occasions, I take extra time to make funny faces or tell myself I'm handsome (whether or not it's true).

Maybe I'm self-conscious.

Do you guys think this is weird?

no. you are simply observing which is natural for an INTP

 

[B.C.P.]

DelusiveNinja, make it now. What are you waiting for?

Jennywocky, "checking to see if you're present like everyone else" is a paraphrase that says my motive is to confirm that I am in the room with others. The truth is I don't know why, yet, but that is a possibility. I do believe self-consciousness plays into this. I look at other people a lot, so maybe I'm just doing the same thing to myself.

Aha! Looking at myself in action versus acting at myself like I do in front of a mirror. Maybe I do this because I'm curious what I look like when I'm not meant to look at myself!

Yes, things always feel unreal. It's like the saying, "the grass is always greener on the other side" except "reality is always more real on the other side."

I'm glad you're down with the goofiness. Funny face/mirror dancing medal earned*

Here it is

 

[B.C.P.]

Is that your final diagnosis, Dr. House?

 

[r4ch3l]

Short answer: I have these sorts of behavioral patterns as well. I believe it's an OCD or dissociation thing (which -- at least in my case -- I think are connected).

Sometimes it is just to check in and make sure I still exist at all...sometimes to adjust how I physically appear as a defense mechanism or strategy...and often it's silently tripping out out on questions about perspective itself...I am fascinated by mirrors and optics.

 

[Jennywocky]

Jennywocky, "checking to see if you're present like everyone else" is a paraphrase that says my motive is to confirm that I am in the room with others. The truth is I don't know why, yet, but that is a possibility. I do believe self-consciousness plays into this. I look at other people a lot, so maybe I'm just doing the same thing to myself.

I'm a people watcher too. (Even more fun is being a people listener -- sit in the food court at the local mall, pretend to be busy, and just listen to the things people say to each other.)

Interesting notion that perhaps other people seem to have more "reality substance" because we constantly witness them, but we don't witness ourselves without some type of recording or reflection.

Aha! Looking at myself in action versus acting at myself like I do in front of a mirror. Maybe I do this because I'm curious what I look like when I'm not meant to look at myself!

I have various reasons to observe myself, but I do specifically notice when I'm passing a reflective surface and keep just doing what I'm doing, as I want to see what I look like from everyone else's perspective.

We have large rooms in our agency next to the long wide hallways, and the walls are made of glass planes. There are some great reflective surfaces where i always catch myself watching me as I walk down the hall -- "Is that what I look like?"

Sometimes it's uncomfortable, though; I don't always particularly like what I see.

Yes, things always feel unreal. It's like the saying, "the grass is always greener on the other side" except "reality is always more real on the other side."

^^ Tagline.

I'm glad you're down with the goofiness. Funny face/mirror dancing medal earned* Here it is

I'll have to paste that onto my pic I uploaded today... bwa ha! I don't know if I've posted any of my "pignose" pics here from way back. I seemed to have more goofy pics than regular ones.

When I'm dancing around, the cat looks at me like I'm a freak. (That's when I pick him up and make him suffer along with me in front of the mirror, it's amusing...)

EDIT: Liebniz, hmmm?


Here's an interesting question. Did anyone grow up in a situation where they often felt like they didn't exist or without a lot of interaction with other people, especially family? Just curious.

 

[B.C.P.]

Haha. Rachel with the classic INTPness - bomb the conversation with a random abstract idea, which, I happen to find quite fascinating.

Jenny, I would tl;dr in reply to your last post, but I specifically found it amusing that you said, "I always catch myself watching me as I walk down the hall." I think Rachel is on to something with her OCD connection, because your reflection isn't something you always look at by conscious choice, and neither do I. Also, I'll be more cautious in the food court now.

Random thought: I would love to one day watch someone for an entire day (with obvious exceptions, of course), but I doubt anyone would ever let me do this.

As to your question, though I was the youngest of four brothers I never felt like people paid much attention to me, regardless of how much attention I did get. In some situations I think it doesn't matter how much attention you do get when you're young. It matters what kind of attention it is, and whether or not it's the kind of attention you want.

*Edit: also, clean your nose first. And please, be nice to the kitty - get him involved earlier.

 

[DrGregoryHouse]

I'm a people watcher too. (Even more fun is being a people listener -- sit in the food court at the local mall, pretend to be busy, and just listen to the things people say to each other.)

A few weeks ago I was bored and had a few too many days off. So, I drove to the nearest hospital to people watch. Bird watchers are called ornithologists, I believe. Anyone know of the scientific name for people watchers? (besides sociologist which would be offensive because sociology has jumped the shark these days)

Interesting notion that perhaps other people seem to have more "reality substance" because we constantly witness them, but we don't witness ourselves without some type of recording or reflection.

I've noticed the same phenomenon.

When I am called upon to provide my feedback/ observations "in the moment" I naturally freeze up. Its like my presence has just been requested in real time and I'm not really even in the same room.

...Here's an interesting question. Did anyone grow up in a situation where they often felt like they didn't exist or without a lot of interaction with other people, especially family? Just curious.

I grew up in a situation where my INTP father was too busy providing for myself and my siblings. That left me to be in a position underneath my ISTP mother and my ExTJ older brother. It was seventeen years of hell. I keep my distance these days. The dynamic has never changed: if I am in the same room with either or both there is an inordinate, relentless amount of "you are flawed"/ "here is your problem"/ "here is how we can we fix you". Its like oil and water. Quite disappointing, and there is no salvaging it. I think all three of us realize it at this point. Hence the distance.

So, yes, I grew up in a situation where (as I was impressionable in my formative years obviously) I was encouraged not to exist.

Maybe a coping mechanism was to dissociate...?

 

[just george]

I used to do that a lot when I was younger, when I thought that my ability to navigate the world was very much influenced by my looks, and so of course did the usual go to the gym a lot thing that young guys do.

As my personality developed, I noticed that no matter how I looked (eg when I was wearing a jumper, so it wasn't readily apparent that I was ripped to shreds etc), when I was in some moods and spoke to people in a certain way, that I would get the same outcome that I would even wearing Van Dammes favorite muscle shirt.

Gradually, the looking in the mirror thing stopped. I mean sure, I do it at the gym to check my form, and will occasionally check myself out in some store mirror out of curiosity or to check how some outfit or another looks, but the compulsive thing is gone.

I have been worried about my age a bit more than usual lately, so have probably checked myself out more than normal.

 

[Jennywocky]

A few weeks ago I was bored and had a few too many days off. So, I drove to the nearest hospital to people watch. Bird watchers are called ornithologists, I believe. Anyone know of the scientific name for people watchers? (besides sociologist which would be offensive because sociology has jumped the shark these days)

Well, ornithologist is simply equitable to anthropologist... I don't know if either refers specifically to the observation of the target group, it's more the "study of."

Of course, if you are getting off on it, then it's "voyeur."

When I am called upon to provide my feedback/ observations "in the moment" I naturally freeze up. Its like my presence has just been requested in real time and I'm not really even in the same room.

I used to feel like I had no "real voice" in society / around people. Everything was internalized, and I had no idea how to respond to outside stimuli. It took a lot of practice / hands-on experience to get my thoughts together to the point where I felt comfortable interacting and responding.

I grew up in a situation where my INTP father was too busy providing for myself and my siblings. That left me to be in a position underneath my ISTP mother and my ExTJ older brother. It was seventeen years of hell. I keep my distance these days. The dynamic has never changed: if I am in the same room with either or both there is an inordinate, relentless amount of "you are flawed"/ "here is your problem"/ "here is how we can we fix you". Its like oil and water. Quite disappointing, and there is no salvaging it. I think all three of us realize it at this point. Hence the distance.

So, yes, I grew up in a situation where (as I was impressionable in my formative years obviously) I was encouraged not to exist.

I kind of had the same thing with my ISFJ mother (who I could not identify with, and whose feelings were constantly hurt when I did or said the wrong things) and my ESTP alcoholic dad, who was essentially a bully. Engaging either was a huge mistake... but my mom rarely said things anyway, as that would just draw fire from dad.

And I lived in the middle of nowhere, so there were no alternatives to the fam. It was kind of like growing up as a ghost.

Anyway, it sounds like there was no positive benefit for you either, in trying to connect with said family. Any interaction was just a habitual undermining of your perspective.

Maybe a coping mechanism was to dissociate...?

Everyone has different mechanisms that appeal to them. I don't feel like I've ever disassociated; in fact, it made me even more aware of the connection points between imagination/intuition and tangible reality. But I know some people do dissociate.

 

[Cognisant]

No. It's not weird I forget I am a denizen of society all the time. In fact, I've dreamed up a device that would let me see myself from a third person point of view. When I create it after college I will never forget again.

Here I am posting fluff again. CURSE YOU INSUFFERABLE BOREDOM PROCRASTINATION!!!!Also what I said doesn't justify it as not weird so.....

Why not buy one?

Spoiler

http://www.gizmag.com/3rd-person-view-camera-mount/25905/

 

[DelusiveNinja]

Why not buy one?

Spoiler

http://www.gizmag.com/3rd-person-view-camera-mount/25905/

If I tell you why I'm not buying that one, then you may invent the device before me. All I can say is that what I have in mind will be way more convenient than that. I have not started to build it yet and I have excuses but none of them are acceptable.

 

[Doob]

I watch myself too, problably because I in general like to watch people and have no idea how my appearance and my behaviour looks like on the outside.

I'm a people watcher too. (Even more fun is being a people listener -- sit in the food court at the local mall, pretend to be busy, and just listen to the things people say to each other.)

I would like to have an invisibility cloak/device so that I can watch people all day without them seeing me watching them.

 

[Cognisant]

If I tell you why I'm not buying that one, then you may invent the device before me. All I can say is that what I have in mind will be way more convenient than that. I have not started to build it yet and I have excuses but none of them are acceptable.

Is it a quadcopter with a camera that follows you by tracking IR tags on your back?
Ooh ooooh add a nerf gun to it and make it look like a Tau infantry support drone!

If you need any help just pm me, and don't worry about me stealing your ideas, I'm an ENTP, I can give you a dozen right now if you want

 

[Lot]

I end up watching myself at work. There are several cameras and a computer screen that everyone can see from the middle of the store. As I walk by I check my posture and what not.

I look at myself in the mirror at home a lot. I like to walk around naked and every time I walk past the mirror I check myself out. It's strange to notice how mood effects how I view my body.

It would be interesting to see what it looks like for someone else to interact with me. My facial expressions and gesticulation.

So no, I don't think it's weird.

 

[B.C.P.]

Before working out: Wow, what a loser.

After working out (body looks the same): Nice. I'd do me.