Ubermensch

[Black Rose]

If I am a heretic maybe I should be burned at the stake or something.

But I know that Jesus was rejected in the same way.

Not everyone on the internet is bad, but if I am going to be constantly bullied for being a creative imaginative unique person then I am not going to allow other people to do that to me anymore. I am allowed to be who I am and not have to take judgments from anyone. Personally, if God loves me then I can be on the internet and he will protect me. My friends happen to be everywhere no matter where I go. I will protect them and not have anyone tell me who should be outcasted.

 

[Black Rose]

 

[onesteptwostep]

AK you are not Jesus.

What do you think you're accomplishing by posting nonstop about this things? You are not reading words as if they come from another person, you are reading text, not communication. You think only you exist.

This is a falsehood. Every member on this forum, although they may disagree with how I engage with you, understand that you are not a normal person. They just don't know to engage with you, nor do they want to engage with you in a way that betters you as a person.

What you are doing is wrong, and I'm not afraid to say this.

 

[Black Rose]

I love you onestep but I am not going to let you bully me anymore.

I am a good person and everyone can see that.

 

[onesteptwostep]

I love you onestep but I am not going to let you bully me anymore.

I am a good person and everyone can see that.

No one said you were a bad person.

 

[Black Rose]

The problem onestep is that I have been abused my whole life and you think I am part of some Heavens Gate cult. That hurts my feelings. I would never commit suicide because I fear hell too much. And I was taught growing up that the bible was true and that I had to be a good Christian. Only I did not understand why people kept saying that the earth was six thousand years old when it was not. I kept things separate in my mind for years over science truths and religious truths until I was 19. Then I watched many debates on YouTube over the topic. I tried to ask God what to do but he would not tell me.

Many people started talking about their experiences with God and I saw the movie "Heaven is For Real" in 2014. At my church group in 2015 I told them I did not know if God was real and started crying in front of them. And in 2016 I saw the YouTube channel Inspiring Philosophy who was saying that we could use quantum physics to prove God and the afterlife. So I started a Facebook page called Quantum Theists.

At the time I was looking into religion, I was also looking into MBTI and technology. I joined the Kurweil forum and INTP forum in 2010. I have been trying to understand how intelligence works for a long time and what it means for technology to become involved with human progress.

In August 2016 I saw a vision. I was in a white void and a woman was there covered in flowing liquid gold sunlight. Then I knew that God existed but I kept forgetting. The marijuana sent me to the hospital in 2017 and I do not know what happened in 2018. In 2019 I started to receive huge messages from my dreams and started blogging a lot. It got too fast and I was in the hospital system 60 days. I remember the FBI lady arguing with the Man saying I should not be placed in the adult unit but they said she was off the case. I was afraid my house would burn down and they took the fire escape plans I made.

When I came home after the 60 days my family had left me notes all over the place. The rest of the year I don't remember but I did keep records. 2020 I again went to the hospital. I saw Men in Black 3, Ready Player One, and A Few Good Men. This reminded me that I might be in a time warp and that when they were doing the records keeping at night I thought this was the computer crunching the numbers in the simulation.

In 2021 I saw the show The Midnight Gosple where the alien would go into simulations and talk to people about what they thought about reality. I also saw the Animated movie Pilgrims Progress. My mom and Aunt were staying with me that year and we watched tv at night like the Andy Griffin Show and Magnum P.I.

In January 2022 the marijuana made me hallucinate for three days. I thought the police were pointing guns at me when I was on the floor and that my dog ran away. My mom would not help me and my roommate kept laughing evil laughs.

In nov 2022 I went to the hospital because my brother hurt my mom and I said I was going to hurt someone. They gave me Strateria the ADD medication and the anxiety was reduced by 80%.

2023 was a bad year because I started arguing with people on the internet. 2023 was the year a.i. became popular. So I looked into it but then it mixed with politics and religion on my YouTube channel so I deleted my search data from the past 7 years. I wanted to make a.i. for the past 22 years but I was not smart enough. I was sad that I was too poor to start a company or go to school.

I still think that technology is going to happen faster and faster only it is really hard to get out of poverty. Three times on Christmas I had to give people money because 1, the girl read in the obituary her friend died and she was homeless. The man was standing in the middle of the parking lot looking down not moving. And I had to buy my roommate cigarettes and someone asked me for 2 dollars.

I saw my mom sister and niece on Christmas and we watched the movie Alladen with Will Smith. My niece got a baby kitten for Christmas and we saw my aunt in the nursing home.

 

[onesteptwostep]

Are you currently getting help from the government for unemployment? How are you doing fiancially?

I think it's obvious you have a form of paranoia disorder and have bouts of persecutory attacks, akin to a panic attack. I think I've already expressed how profoundly saddened I am when I hear of your experience, but let me repeat again that you have my heart in this. My advice is to cut off all your curiosities away from religion and difficult topics on the internet altogether. Personally, when I was having similar episodes, I forgone church and anything Christian altogether and worked on my health. My advice to you is to seek someone in real life who can help you through your trauma, and oversee your progress.

Within my own social group, I have friends who work in consoling, because of the difficulties of my profession, which is related to religion. Usually I would point to a pastor who knows people who can help you with trauma, like a professional psychologist, but these tend to be costly and a burden.

Health is an important thing, and you obviously know how the internet and hard topics and exasperate your condition. I think that's all I can help you with with what I have.

 

[edmaster111]

this life is so fucken evil people nothing to do all damn day

 

[edmaster111]

q

 

[ZenRaiden]

this life is so fucken evil people nothing to do all damn day

I hear you.

 

[edmaster111]

q

 

[ZenRaiden]

boredom is an activity.