To Club or not to Club?

[Cognisant]

Alright so I've recently become reacquainted with a cousin of mine whom I haven't seen in years, heck when I saw him sitting on a couch with a friend of his it took me literally a minute to figure out which one he was. Now to the issue at hand, he wants to go out clubbing with him sometime (he's about as extroverted as someone can get, and I'm 100% introvert) but the main issue is that he's completely irresponsible, the stereotypical obnoxious idiot.

I'm not kidding, he practically bragged about ending up broke, wasted & semi-conscious on a sidewalk outside a club downtown (in what's locally called "the valley").

Now there are several good reasons why I should accept his offer, which more-or-less break down the fact that I should get out more, even if everything goes horribly wrong I know it'll be a valuable growth experience for me. However I can just tell that the "all going horribly wrong" scenario is the most likely (being intuitive and all that) so I guess what I'm asking is, how badly can this go?

Is it a bad idea to go against intuition?

 

[Decaf]

Going completely off my own experiences with this kind of thing, I say don't go. But then I've lost friends off of miserable nights out when I felt the other person was basically using me so he wouldn't be out on the town alone. If anything compromise. Go to a sports bar and play pool or something. If you just go along, expect to regret the decision, and if you don't put up a fight it won't even be his fault.

I'm biased, so I won't pretend this is a theory with some basis, but I can't think of a situation less INTP-friendly than a club. Too many people, over-stimulated with noise, avoiding any talk bigger than a breadbox, trying to manipulate each other and purposefully getting inebriated in order to have an easier time making bad decisions. If somehow you were highly familiar with clubs (maybe you were a DJ) you might be able to look past much of that, but otherwise I'd avoid it. At best you're courting the INTP tendency to over pursue physical stimulation when your dominant sides retreat from all the white noise.

 

[bluesquid]

I would go. Have fun. Learn something.

But make it clear, your not babysitting. And dont give him any money.

 

[Words]

Changes are good---once in a while. I'd go for the experience, but won't participate in any drinking, dancing or anything, just observing. Learn society and its other sides. Progress always has its risks.

 

[sagewolf]

Decaf has a good idea. I can enjoy myself at a party where I know most of the people there, or at a club with a few friends, but I've only ever gone 'clubbing' with one other person once, and I didn't much like it. I'm not the sort to get up and dance unless there's a crowd to be lost in, and being there with someone else in a club full of strangers just made me stick close to the one person I knew (probably to avoid being hit on). If he wants you to come out with him, try to change the venue to somewhere with a quieter, more laid-back atmosphere, with other activities (watching a game/pool/darts/wordgames/quizzes) to pursue than just getting wasted and being tossed out the door by the bouncers at the end of the night.

If he does want you to go out to the club, and won't accept anything else, just make sure you're the one driving and play a horrible, horrible prank on him when he passes out to 'thank' him for the wonderful evening.

 

[Beat Mango]

F these quiet, laid back pool playing venues. They're custom made for E types who need to let off some energy, talking about junk for hours that would most likely send you up the hill (and I'm talking from experience here). You'll meet more interesting and introverted and intuitive people in clubs, provided it's the right one - ie, don't go to one that's too mainstream. Actually that goes for laid back bars too - as long as they're a bit non-run-of-the-mill you should be ok. High-end ones are good because they're full of
snobs and snobs are usually intuitives.

 

[Beat Mango]

Oh and do you get more sociable after a bit of alcohol? Or at least, feel happier? Look, worse comes to worst you sit there drunk numb and happy, soaking in the ambience of this nightclub where you can observe all these humans (some of them total eye candy) dancing around and not talking too much because the music's too loud (and since when is that a bad thing?)

 

[Agent Intellect]

I think if there is a hell, it's a night club.

That being said, my advice would be not to go, but I can't say anything more than what I would do in that situation.

 

[flow]

Get drunk, make mistakes, write about them. I usually have a good time at 'clubs', as long as I've got my extroverts with me. They're so entertaining to watch.. I just get intoxicated and go along for the ride.. usually wake up laughing.

 

[Cogwulf]

clubbing is big no. go to a bar or a pub and have a few drinks, clubs are a place for extroverters to extroverts and nothing else except that.

 

[Cavallier]

The only time I ever go clubbing is when I do it with two or three close friends. I'll even go with casual acquaintances but I always have an out (my own car/bike/bus ticket) and I never go with people who are looking to "hook-up" (i.e. sex) with someone they find at a club. Go with him if he just wants to have some drinks. Don't go if he's the type for one night stands. Ugh. There are few things worse than having a good time ruined by some idiot's need to sex up the first person who walks by. I buy drinks and food for my friends and they buy stuff for me. If there is no reciprocation you have a leech.

If I follow these rules I almost always end up discussing the mysteries of the universe and having a good time doing it. Like Flow, I wake up laughing the next day.

However, I listen to my intuition. If yours says no then don't go.

 

[echoplex]

It sounds awful. It's probably the most annoying and draining environment for an INTP. It's full of people you'd never spend more than a second around in any other setting and there's a fairly high potential of doing something you'll regret.

That being said, I'd do it.

 

[kantor1003]

Banana: LOL
OreSama:
Yeah, go. Try to play the "I am the man" extroverted role. If you are going to do the "sit on the sideline and observe the others" you would be better off at home. In best case scenario you will see a bunch of revolting people thinking they're so hot, flirting and vomiting at the same time.. or, you will see a bunch of people having fun; talking, kissing, flirting - and you will observe it from a distance, not taking any part of the action. Yeah, that sounds like a nice night out on town.
So, if you are to go.. don't do it half assed. Try to take it all the way. Talk with as many people you can, preferably try to stay in the middle of attention, chat up members of the opposite sex etc. If you can accomplish that, you will most likely find yourself in a mode of extacy days afterwards. If you plan to go in half assed, save yourself the trouble; stay at home and enjoy a good book instead.

 

[warryer]

Im with kantor on this one. If you are going go all out. If your cousin's friend is just using you flip it around on him.

Better yet make him look like a douchebag. I think this would be a good time if only for that reason. Call me an asshole, sounds like he could use a wake up call.

You could learn a thing or two about social dynamics and learning is never bad. Even if it goes against your "perfect plan" do you really think you will see any of those people again. And if so, does it really matter?

I've always wondered if I could actually go into a room and take control. I have the know-how but, can I put it to use? Want to go to a club ore?

(i have never actually been to a club)

 

[Adymus]

Either opt to take along one or two more friends that you are comfortable with, or don't go.

If you have the extra friends then you'll know you can count on them to keep you from feeling completely awkward. If it is just the two of you, he might just ditch you to go try and hook up with some chick, and you don't want to just be left alone in a club. Not so much because it is dangerous or anything, it's just awkward to be standing around alone and not dancing or talking to anyone.

Also, if you are into electronic music, go to an electronic music club. They are really the only clubs I go out to, the music is better, and the people tend to be more interesting and usually not douche bags, as opposed to most of the people that go to regular clubs.

Anyway, clubs can be a place for fun and adventure, but it can also just be terrible if you are not with the right people and not in the right club. Also, drinking is a huge help; don't get me wrong, Analyzing from a withdrawn point of view can be fun, but at times like these, engaging the external world is where the real fun is.

 

[bluesquid]

Either opt to take along one or two more friends that you are comfortable with, or don't go.

If you have the extra friends then you'll know you can count on them to keep you from feeling completely awkward. If it is just the two of you, he might just ditch you to go try and hook up with some chick, and you don't want to just be left alone in a club. Not so much because it is dangerous or anything, it's just awkward to be standing around alone and not dancing or talking to anyone.

Also, if you are into electronic music, go to an electronic music club. They are really the only clubs I go out to, the music is better, and the people tend to be more interesting and usually not douche bags, as opposed to most of the people that go to regular clubs.

Anyway, clubs can be a place for fun and adventure, but it can also just be terrible if you are not with the right people and not in the right club. Also, drinking is a huge help; don't get me wrong, Analyzing from a withdrawn point of view can be fun, but at times like these, engaging the external world is where the real fun is.

Im with ady on this one. For gods sake go. You only live once. Dont let your higher thinking interfere with life. Learn.

 

[RobertJ]

Alright so I've recently become reacquainted with a cousin of mine whom I haven't seen in years, heck when I saw him sitting on a couch with a friend of his it took me literally a minute to figure out which one he was. Now to the issue at hand, he wants to go out clubbing with him sometime (he's about as extroverted as someone can get, and I'm 100% introvert) but the main issue is that he's completely irresponsible, the stereotypical obnoxious idiot.

I'm not kidding, he practically bragged about ending up broke, wasted & semi-conscious on a sidewalk outside a club downtown (in what's locally called "the valley").



Is it a bad idea to go against intuition?

Obnoxious idiot... sounds a lot like a cousin of mine. He would solicit people do do various things with him (going clubbing, to a bar, Wal-mart, gay club/bar, whathaveyou) and could not take "no" for an answer. I would either have to beat him over the head with my lack of desire to go - or comply. The former left me with a measure of guilt, the latter with a measure of assured misery. He could not handle being alone, and I can hardly handle not being alone, so it was not the ideal relationship for me.

Why would you go, knowing full well that you don't want to go? Would you feel guilty if you didn't? Your intuition is probably true, it will be a miserable experience if you are introverted as you say you are, unless you can keep the commotion and socializing to a minimum (I could not do this satisfactorily, and consequently almost always ended the excursion with a headache or some form of psychological malady.)

 

[Decaf]

If you're interested in the club experience, I would advise trying it out with someone else in a like mindset. Don't go with someone who already has in mind what he wants to get out of it, because at some point in the evening one of you will have to cater to the other person. That could mean leaving earlier than he wants, or staying later than you want, but someone's gonna end up unhappy.

 

[Zero]

How much do you trust your cousin?

I don't personally care for clubbing. My friends were kind enough to take me to a watered down version of clubbing at a church. "Good" clean fun. Without alcohol it's a boring experience. I tried to get a little tipsy before going to those ordeals. Anyway, these friends of mine were people I could trust not to leave me hanging. I had gone with one and gotten somewhat... buzzed at a birthday party and she drove us home.

Also, I've learned to trust my intuition when it comes to people and situations. There were times if I had just taken the hint I wouldn't have put myself in a world of problems.

I don't really get what's "fun" about clubbing. Then again, I guess the average college idiot wouldn't understand what's enjoyable about going to an art museum.

 

[Cryss Winters]

I just went clubbing for the first time last night. One of the worst decisions I've ever made, but I still got the girl. =P

 

[Zero]

Is that the point of going?
It's like fishing?

 

[Decaf]

Is that the point of going?
It's like fishing?

So one-night stands are like "catch and release"?

 

[violetblue]

i would say: trust your intuition. he's irresponsible; he brags about spending all his money in one evening and passing out on the street. you've only recently become re-acquainted, and immediately he wants you to go clubbing with him. it might be the only friendly gesture he knows---or he might, as you've slightly alluded to---be looking for a baby-sitter for the evening. maybe you can ask your cousin if he'd like to engage in some quieter, more low-risk activities first. at least you can get a sense if you are likely to be the "designated enabler" if you do eventually club with him.