Tips for dealing with annoying as hell extraverts

[Jean Paul]

" what's wrong?" " Smile more damit!" " Something on your mind?" " You seem sad" Those kinds of statements are annoying as hell and it's finnally geting to me. Anytips for dealing with extraverts . Sience my family are extraverts my friends well the majoirity are extraverts.

 

[Pbuoy]

" what's wrong?" " Smile more damit!" " Something on your mind?" " You seem sad" Those kinds of statements are annoying as hell and it's finnally geting to me. Anytips for dealing with extraverts . Sience my family are extraverts my friends well the majoirity are extraverts.

Accept them for who they are even if they don't accept you.
Just try to have a one on one conversation with each of them to explain the situation.
If they understand, good, and if they don't, it's their problem.

If they believe in the idea that everyone should "be themselves", then retort with "everyone is different". (Not how I articulated it but I think you know what I mean.)

Moreover I think it's a lack of understanding and an acceptance of something different.
Just be more accepting I guess, you know that they don't think in the same way as you do.

On a final note, you allow yourself to become disheartened by their statements, the fault is not of just them, but also you.


Side thought: I don't think all extroverts are like that. Seems like a vitriol towards extroverts at large. Let's hope they don't make a scene.

 

[Thoughtful]

From your complaint, it sounds like your grief is with ExFxs.

Either take a road trip or go camping. Don't bring the extroverts along. Find a few introverted buddies, or just go alone. Get some quality introvert time in, and then come back and live in the extroverted world for a bit.

Also, Get some ENTP/ENTJ friends with similar interests, they don't care if you don't smile, and will never come to you because you "look sad" (Unless they're of opposite gender and are looking to hook up, NTs get weird when that happens). They're also less likely to try and burden you with sob stories you don't give a damn about.

 

[dark]

^ Very true, not all extroverts do that, I couldn't care less if someone didn't smile or looked sad, most likely I wouldn't notice it haha.

A lot of introverts do the same thing, it is more of a xxFx trait to have, but more seen in ExFx or xSFx, or atleast I think.

 

[Stoic Beverage]

Just go mad. Once you do, they can't do a damned thing to you. Also, they may or may not experience spontaneous combustion .

 

[snafupants]

With an extraverted sensing type, if the comment is not completely linear, be prepared to awkwardly and humorlessly explain yourself.

 

[JarNew]

Don't hang out with them? Or stop being so depressed or depressed looking?

Your state of consciousness affects them, don't be an energy vampire

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Don't hang out with them? Or stop being so depressed or depressed looking?

Your state of consciousness affects them, don't be an energy vampire

Truth.

 

[Stoic Beverage]

^
It's their choice when they surround you intentionally, so it's not really on the shoulders of the "energy vampire".

 

[stig]

Yeah. I met up with an old HS friend for the first time in many years this weekend. Her husband was a raging extrovert. Trapped, awkward, irritated, and desperate for escape I resorted to constant watch checking and vague excuses. He took no hints. Eventually, my old HS friend practically dragged him out by his ear. There is no good technique, though you might find comedic relief after the fact in this link: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/09/four-levels-of-social-entrapment.html

 

[SkyWalker]

how to deal with those really annoying extreme extraverts as an INTP?

Use your Ne to spurt out all your knowledge plus new ideas built upon it spontaneously on the spot and dominate them by your knowledge, they'll be quiet and listen. Make it an interesting story though, as if you are seducing a girl with it (even for guys), extraverted feelers love that. Just have a trip on your Ne, as long as your underlying why's are rocksolid you can spurt it all out on the spot.

But to get the underlying why's right, you need private time.

I actually have a secret private UFO with luxury facilities, a spa and unlimited food , but if you can't find one then just rent a nice secret extra apartment or secret private office and retreat there to ponder about life or work on your private projects, turn cell phone on silent and just tell the bastards that you have a job. Now you can work in peace. Just come to your public home in weekend/evenings and pretend to be tired of work, they will understand that, or just come to your public home with full energy and be extraverted for the evening/weekend, also good for your balance. I actually just run all my new ideas on them, and if they can't stand it swap them for another one. Ehmm that is a bit harsh maybe: So don't do too much of that and think of them a bit too and care for them (as long as they do spend time on you too: dont be a bastard to non-bastards, but to bastards you may be a bastard as well)

Conclusion: You can have a normal life just don''t show them how you ponder, they think its like doing nothing and they cannot respect somebody that does nothing. if they think you do nothing, they think they are wiser (which they are not). so do your pondering somewhere else, where they cant see you and tell them you have been very busy when you get back. with all the new ideas you come back with, they'll actually believe you.

Go faster than the extravert when you are around them, if you can't : get out of their sight... they will remember you as fast only and thus they will respect you and thus not bother you with unimportant matters, and this is what you want

 

[EditorOne]

Prevention is almost always easier than cure.

I've noticed folks using ear buds or ear phones, conspicuous ones, to signal they are doing something privately that means they are not in any position to hear anything a braying extrovert might be itching to shout. The ones with an extended microphone stem imply you are in communication with someone, at least, rather than cocooning yourself, so it's an added camouflage.

A long time ago it would have been considered somewhat rude to deliberately isolate yourself at work or in a social group, but from what I can see it's now quite acceptable. Times change. I think this change is definitely a good one.

 

[SpaceYeti]

" what's wrong?" " Smile more damit!" " Something on your mind?" " You seem sad" Those kinds of statements are annoying as hell and it's finnally geting to me. Anytips for dealing with extraverts . Sience my family are extraverts my friends well the majoirity are extraverts.

I remember that sometimes people, generally a female, will ask me what's wrong. Nothing's wrong, though. And they keep asking me what's wrong to the point that their asking me what's wrong becomes the problem. Perhaps I'm ignorant of the fact I'm in a bad mood, perhaps I'm simply sitting down and doing whatever. But, yes, it's annoying. I have no advice.

I posted because I wanted to see what I would write.

 

[Puffy]

Introverts smile to.

 

[SpaceYeti]

Less frequently, though.

 

[gruesomebrat]

EditorOne, the earbuds and earphones don't always work. I've had people come up to me when I'm actually listening to very faint music, thinking, and they've started talking to me regardless. They seem to get incredibly pissed off when I take the earphones off, and inform them that I hadn't heard a single word they said, although I'm not sure why it would piss them off. They could see pretty plainly that I was doing something else, so isn't it their fault that I didn't hear what they had to say?

I kind of like the idea SkyWalker put out there. The only problem is that I don't consciously sit down and say to myself, "The next 3 hours is reserved for thinking." I'll see something or hear something and my thinking process kicks in automatically, to the exclusion of all else including finishing the conversation that I was having. Most of my friends have gotten used to it. They know that if I stop talking to them and gaze off into space, it's not that they did something, it's that something they said got me thinking. Breaking new friends in is a bit of a pain, though. People don't learn very quickly, so I often have to put up with a couple months of extroverts getting upset by my drifting off. Probably the reason that there are very few people in my life who I consider to be close friends.

 

[Taniwha]

" what's wrong?" " Smile more damit!" " Something on your mind?" " You seem sad" Those kinds of statements are annoying as hell and it's finnally geting to me. Anytips for dealing with extraverts . Sience my family are extraverts my friends well the majoirity are extraverts.

I often ask those questions, I have to because I have trouble with empathy. Having Aspergers, I have to go by what I can see rather than feel. I guess what I am trying to say is that sometimes people who lack empathy can come across as extroverted, and you can't really tell what their MBTI is.

If this is the case, often the best thing to do is to respond more literally.

"Nothing's wrong, just thinking." "I'm concentrating on something at the moment." "Yes, please give me some space to think." "Not sad, just thinking."

I know If I receive answers like this, I have a clearer picture of whats going behind the mask (face) and I respond accordingly.
The reason why I refer to 'picture' is because I think in visual patterns (people with Aspergers tend to).

Either way, the person is probably going to get the idea. Eventually.

 

[SkyWalker]

I kind of like the idea SkyWalker put out there. The only problem is that I don't consciously sit down and say to myself, "The next 3 hours is reserved for thinking." .

yes that takes the fun away from pondering! i know!

put pondering all the time is not efficient anyway.

my most important lesson = don't ponder when others are around (it will fuck up everything).

all you need is some passive income and a nice story for a fake job. its even more exciting if they dont know

 

[nexion]

And they keep asking me what's wrong to the point that their asking me what's wrong becomes the problem.

I like this. I will make sure to use it in case that ever happens to me (or rather, when it does happen, because it will happen).

Introverts smile to.

INTP's have their primary feeling function last. I think that has something to do with it.

 

[SpaceYeti]

I like this. I will make sure to use it in case that ever happens to me (or rather, when it does happen, because it will happen).

Use it? It was merely something I was sharing which happens, not advice. If you straight up tell a girl (I'm not sure about extroverted guys) that there is no problem except that they keep asking you what your problem is, there's a good chance they're going to assume they were right about you having a problem and you simply don't want to tell them, which will hurt them because you're hiding something from them, even though you're not actually hiding anything. You have to be subtle with those girls and show them that there was no initial problem with more than just words. Which is very difficult, especially since my wife presumes she has some insight into my emotions that not even I do. And you know, she may, but she seems to get it wrong sometimes, too. Just be sure to inform girls that even if they think they get you, emotionally, they probably don't.

... Wow, wordy much?

 

[nexion]

Who said anything about girls, especially girls I'm interested in having intimate relations with?

 

[SpaceYeti]

I've never had extroverted males ask me what my problem was who didn't believe me (or at least act like they believed me) when I said there wasn't one. I was simply expanding the subject in the area I have experience with it.

 

[nexion]

I see. Meh. I doubt I would have used it anyway. It is too confrontational for my tastes.

 

[SpaceYeti]

... Used what?

 

[nexion]

And they keep asking me what's wrong to the point that their asking me what's wrong becomes the problem.

That.

 

[Indolence]

Woow I like this thread, makes me feel at home. I feel your pain man, I get these comments forever and always. I wish people would take 'nothing is wrong' -literally- instead of trying to pry for an emotional issue that simply doesn't exist. People trying to 'cheer me up' is one of the most infuriating things they can attempt to do. Even when there IS something wrong I still don't like it There's just something extremely annoying about someone trying to evoke emotion from myself. I can't help it, it just is.

 

[SpaceYeti]

That.

... It's something that just happens to me, it's not something I do such that you could "use it".

 

[Mary]

There is no good technique, though you might find comedic relief after the fact in this link: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/09/four-levels-of-social-entrapment.html

Yes. I love hyperbole and a half. -pokes avatar-
-AHEM-
Getting rid of extroverts is nigh impossible. If they're really starting to bug me, I just run away and hide. (I'm not joking; sometimes at one of those idiotic gossip sessions my girls scout troop has, I run, find a tree to climb, and hide in it.)

Seeing the person before they see you is very helpful. I keep an eye out for extroverts I don't want to talk to, and once I see them come into an area where they would feel compelled to talk to me, I either engage someone else in a conversation or leave the room.

 

[Jesse]

I once had a problem with a really annoying girl who would not leave me alone and ask really annoying questions like "Do you like me? or Do you find me attractive" When I answered no she would look crushed and be really snarly all night. Next day she acts all happy and still would not leave me alone. Lesson learned is never to engage in someone who you do not want to talk with.

Every other extrovert is cool though. I don't find it that hard to just stop talking to people although that might be because I have a reputation for not saying anything. The only time when I am surrounded by extroverts and I need to take a break I usually just drink more.

 

[Mary]

Lesson learned is never to engage in someone who you do not want to talk with.

Exactly. If you avoid them, they can't annoy you.

 

[SpaceYeti]

I once had a problem with a really annoying girl who would not leave me alone and ask really annoying questions like "Do you like me? or Do you find me attractive" When I answered no she would look crushed and be really snarly all night. Next day she acts all happy and still would not leave me alone. Lesson learned is never to engage in someone who you do not want to talk with.

Every other extrovert is cool though. I don't find it that hard to just stop talking to people although that might be because I have a reputation for not saying anything. The only time when I am surrounded by extroverts and I need to take a break I usually just drink more.

She wants the wiener, dude.

 

[Mary]

She wants the wiener, dude.

BUAHAHA
That she does.
Unless she had an insecurity problem, in which case she was just looking to you for emotional support. But the fact that she got pissy probably indicates she wasn't feeling all that insecure.

 

[SpaceYeti]

Normally I'd presume it was obvious enough to not need mentioning, but the people here are INTPs. They're oblivious jackasses.

 

[Mary]

Normally I'd presume it was obvious enough to not need mentioning, but the people here are INTPs. They're oblivious jackasses.

Which is why it's good for them to understand the silly motivations some people have. Knowing what happened in one situation give you the ability to change the outcome the next time a similar situation occurs.
(Unless you misinterpret the situation, which I guess is where the "oblivious jackass" comes into play again. xD)

 

[Jesse]

I knew that, I just thought it was an amusing anecdote. Also everybodies jackasses coated bastards not just us intps.

 

[SpaceYeti]

No, not just us. But we are, too.