Therapy Escape

[Aviator8]

I never cuss-so I can't spell Dam it properly

DAMIT.

My mother took me to a psychologist, and they said I have aspergers. I was there because she is an ESFJ, and my father is and INTJ- at least he's I- but they are taking me to some form of therapy where I waste time, talking, which I dislike, and they try and change me. I WON"T CHANGE- I don't Want to. I want them to let me go to my room, not stay in the same room as them with the only excuse not to always be socializing to be homework. I want to do something good. I've tried to do things on my own to show them the value, and they think I'm even more broken for needing to do it alone! I can't even listen to my own music, or do anything with privacy (no wonder I have chronic self harming- but they never see, I outsmart them and they are ignorant!) but this is to much! How do I prove that I'm not BROKEN?!?! How do I escape therapy?

Help me they won't listen to me anyways.

I'll be dead in a few weeks, sorry, waste of time. But I'm still interested in new perspective.

 

[TheScornedReflex]

Have you considered that you're wrong in this and that they're actually right?

What are you, 15? Grow up dawg.

 

[Sinny91]

How do I prove that I'm not BROKEN?!?! How do I escape therapy?

Stop self harming and at least try to act the part.

I'll be dead in a few weeks, sorry, waste of time. But I'm still interested in new perspective.

Yea, I'd lay off the Donnie Darko.

 

[TBerg]

You could yell and cry while explaining your needs, as I did, but that kind of victory will be very hollow for a while.

Or you could try making them watch YouTube videos about your particular autistic issues. That might do the job, too.

Unfortunately, you might have to do the former in order to get them interested in the latter.

And it is important that you try to find a way to convert your obsessions into marketable skills. Then you have powers that will carry you through anything in life.

And, as others have said, it is also possible that both you and I are part of the generation of Millennials who suck in general. We all need to grow up more.

 

[Pyropyro]

Oh calm down. I'm diagnosed as well and I'm not yet dead.

They don't even need to bother making me undergo therapy since I naturally push myself to socialize. The only therapy I experience so far is that they (boss, parents, friends etc.) sometimes they need to explain that I made some social faux pas.

 

[Aviator8]

Close-16


Of course we all suck, I'm not tantruming, and explaing to them doesn't work because they are know it all parents. I almost killed myself yesterday, so just because you aren't dead is insignificant- a red herring. Also, you aren't helping. It's not a tantrum- I'm calm about it, and the caps are just because of frustration. Don't take this the wrong way, I'll probably do suicide sooner or later anyways, but you could help.

 

[Sinny91]

Why are you contemplating suicide?

We'll all be in our graves sooner or later, you haven't even grown up yet.

Don't you want to taste the delights of adulthood?

 

[Pizzabeak]

Don't you want to taste the delights of adulthood?

Don't you go lying to him now

 

[Seteleechete]

Idk about you, personally I just keep telling the blunt truth to my parents which keeps making them mad(While I remain calm, nonchalant and apathetic). If they get mad enough being around you they may start occasionally leaving you alone(and more importantly it makes it easier for you to emotionally distance yourself from them after a while, if you can remain calm that is). Though this is entirely anecdotal.

If they try to make you change while you don't want you a blunt no while refusing to compromise(and continuous logical reasoning they can't argue against) works well. Plus it helps solidify your internal reasoning and potentially make you change your mind.

And if you are going to commit suicide do it properly or not at all. A failed suicide attempt with these kinda people is among my worst nightmares, they will NEVER leave you alone after that.

Also don't listen to me... meh.

 

[Seteleechete]

Also, on the topic of reasoning, can you even give a coherent reasoning? Why does life suck? What do you want? What arguments are your parents/therapists giving? Why are they wrong? If not, why not? Why do I want to commit suicide? Why not? What do I believe about the world/universe/life? Why do I care what they think? Do I? Why am I frustrated? Do I want to be frustrated? What can I do to improve my lot? Do I want to? What do I want to do? How do you feel? How do you want to feel? What's stopping you? They won't leave me alone, how do I make the best of the situation?

Ect, ect. Keep questioning, your reasoning, theirs, your goals/wants/obstacles. Your posts reek of stress, frustration and incoherency so get a coherent and calm picture of your situation.


Also, just leave. Go outside to some park or something they can only control you because you let them, sure they will get mad/threaten you/punish you. But that is the price you pay to feel in control of your situation, no matter what they do you can't let them dictate you, stubbornly refuse every time and just accept whatever consequences are thrown at you. If you are planning on killing yourself anyway it hardly matters in comparison.

 

[Ex-User (13503)]

Oh boy. Asperger's isn't even in the DSM anymore. It seems like you're stuck under your parent's whims for now.

Do what you can to persist through their bullshit. Request a different therapist if possible. Hopefully you can do the choosing instead of your parents. Not all therapists suck. It does suck if you have people trying to change you instead of actually understand you and your social system (you + your parents, friends, etc. as an inter-related thing) first.

I'm sure you see that self-harm because of other people's flaws and mistakes doesn't accomplish anything. It's irrational. Why hurt yourself because someone else fucked up? You may be able to find other ways to cope that give you time alone that are deemed more acceptable and beneficial. Maybe jogging, biking, or hiking.

And it's damnit. I think. But honestly, cuss up a fucking storm if it makes you feel better, and *don't be afraid to go to the hospital if you're actively suicidal.

You should realize that 1) though it's hard to believe, your life won't be as shitty in the future and things get a lot better as you progressively become more free from the clutches of idiots 2) *you don't make good decisions under stress. No one does. 3) There are actually people out there who value you as you are. They're worth finding. Hi.

*If you can't pick a new therapist who doesn't suck giant donkey dick and things are getting worse, a 'piddle trip might accomplish it for you upon discharge. In such a scenario it would be helpful to explain to your hospital doctor/s that you're not comfortable with your current therapist or with other people making that choice for you. This doesn't magically allow you to choose, but it could sway them to sway those who do.

 

[cheese]

Hold off on killing yourself for a while. Things will get clearer as you get older and you can make that choice then. IMO it's generally better for most people to stay alive - life is probably worthwhile for you on the whole. A lot of the time, what seems desperately hopeless is only the scenery of the moment - it will change. What's more, perspective is incredibly deceptive - in bad times, things seem worse than they are, and in depression you even lose access to positive memories that might otherwise improve your perspective. Keep that in mind and take an outsider's stance to your thoughts and feelings if you can.

So your parents don't listen and you refuse to change. Why not try pretending to change? That way if you like it you can keep doing it and make everyone happy, and if you don't like it you can drop it once you're free. You're coming close to emancipation (18) anyway. Therapists aren't all great and some can be fooled by a show of cooperation - you only need to do this for a little while.

Or you could go hardline uncooperative as Sete suggested.

But to me it sounds like you're frustrated at not being able to get through to your parents, rather than wanting to really escape. You seem to be holding suicide over people's heads as a threat. Could you explain why you want to die?

Maybe you really do need a therapist - someone to help you mediate between you and your parents, and help explain your feelings to them. If you don't like your current therapist you can still cooperate by asking your parents to keep looking for another until you find one who works well with you. Your parents might be willing to compromise on that.

 

[Reluctantly]

Why do you let them control you?

 

[TheScornedReflex]

Close-16

Don't take this the wrong way, I'll probably do suicide sooner or later anyways, but you could help.

That shit ain't on any of us. Suicide is you choosing the easy way out because you're too weak to continue.

You're 16 and you've had enough because you're parents won't let you do what you want? Again, grow up dawg.

Get laid, take drugs, make fun of men who wear makeup and call themselves clowns cause they look queer.

 

[Seteleechete]

That shit ain't on any of us. Suicide is you choosing the easy way out because you're too weak to continue.

You're 16 and you've had enough because you're parents won't let you do what you want? Again, grow up dawg.

Get laid, take drugs, make fun of men who wear makeup and call themselves clowns cause they look queer.

Fuck you

 

[Ex-User (13503)]

That shit ain't on any of us. Suicide is you choosing the easy way out because you're too weak to continue.

You're 16 and you've had enough because you're parents won't let you do what you want? Again, grow up dawg.

Get laid, take drugs, make fun of men who wear makeup and call themselves clowns cause they look queer.

Nah. It's usually a choice made when one feels there are no other options available. No easy way out or weakness or bootstraps or any of that shit.

Fuck you

We could double team him. He'd like it though.

But really, knowledge and perspective are limiting for him too (like everyone). Chill.

 

[Seteleechete]

really, knowledge and perspective are limiting for him too (like everyone). Chill.

Ye, ye, I just didn't feel like typing it all out. The "just suck it up" type perspective does annoy me though. Sure, I can see why people hold it, but still.

 

[Ex-User (13503)]

Ye, ye, I just didn't feel like typing it all out. The "just suck it up" type perspective does annoy me though. Sure, I can see why people hold it, but still.

Ironically, people seem to defer to "get over it/grow up/suck it up/pull yourself up by your bootstraps" when they themselves either see limited options for solutions or simply don't care. I mean, this has to be the case, because surely they're aware that such is impossible and ineffective?

Spoiler

 

[TheScornedReflex]

Nah. It's usually a choice made when one feels there are no other options available. No easy way out or weakness or bootstraps or any of that shit.

We could double team him. He'd like it though.

But really, knowledge and perspective are limiting for him too (like everyone). Chill.

You know me too well. Are you my conscience?

And sete. I semi successfully have offed myself. But paramedics saved the day. Done the self harm thing too.

I just see a child acting out because he feels like he's not getting the attention he deserves.

... Or she?

You fucking foolish old man. Or whatever it was

 

[Seteleechete]

I just see a child acting out because he feels like he's not getting the attention he deserves.

Maybe, I prefer to give the benefit of the doubt. And even if this was true I see a proper response as the most optimal path, degenoratory and dismissive responses would just fan the flames.

 

[Ex-User (13503)]

You know me too well. Are you my conscience?

And sete. I semi successfully have offed myself. But paramedics saved the day. Done the self harm thing too.

I just see a child acting out because he feels like he's not getting the attention he deserves.

... Or she?

You fucking foolish old man. Or whatever it was

Most people by default interpret the behavior and actions of others in terms of their own decision tree. People assume others think the same way they do, do things for the same reasons, etc. The positive to this is that their responses reveal a shitload about themselves.

 

[TheScornedReflex]

Lol shut up.



Gawd damn conscience



Sorry Aviator for being a dismissive jerk-guy to your needs. Life does have its moments to look forward to. Find something to hold onto whilst you're battling through the trenches. You got this.

 

[Artsu Tharaz]

Being pressured into therapy is generally not overly productive.

If they think you're an aspie and have trouble relating to you, maybe they should get some therapy.

Then maybe they could convince you as to why therapy would be beneficial, and you'd get more out of it.

 

[The Gopher]

I don't think you pull up both bootstraps at the same time. Unless I'm understanding the phrase wrong. One at a time to get out of the mud.... wait am I the only one that's walked through mud?

Normally I would say something positive at this point but I'm indifferent to your survival. There are plenty of people here who will care though.

 

[Artsu Tharaz]

I don't think you pull up both bootstraps at the same time. Unless I'm understanding the phrase wrong. One at a time to get out of the mud.... wait am I the only one that's walked through mud?

Normally I would say something positive at this point but I'm indifferent to your survival. There are plenty of people here who will care though.

I once fell in the mud during a boxing match.

I can't box though; neither could the other person.

Quit the indifference, honkey!

 

[The Gopher]

Ugh fine. I'm not indifferent I would prefer him to die as long as we knew about it because I'm curious if I would feel guilty.

 

[Artsu Tharaz]

Ugh fine. I'm not indifferent I would prefer him to die as long as we knew about it because I'm curious if I would feel guilty.

...youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu mother fucker.

 

[redbaron]

Live to 18, move out of home. See if you still want to do it, you probably won't.

 

[Tannhauser]

Have you considered that you're wrong in this and that they're actually right?

What are you, 15? Grow up dawg.

I'm probably pointing out the obvious, but there is something wrong with you.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Why do you let them control you?

Spoiler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DanDvAfCcs

 

[Ex-User (13503)]

I don't think you pull up both bootstraps at the same time. Unless I'm understanding the phrase wrong. One at a time to get out of the mud.... wait am I the only one that's walked through mud?

Normally I would say something positive at this point but I'm indifferent to your survival. There are plenty of people here who will care though.

Sorry, no man is an island.

What ties this and my PMs together is that indifference for you indicates something as of yet unexplored in terms of reward/appreciation.

If OP 1) was honest in making this thread 2) was open to the legitimate responses given 3) recognized having benefited from them, then OP will reciprocate in some way. If not, OP will lose the support of those who provided it. And supporters could become discouraged because of this, leading to, say, apathy in future exploration.

 

[Aviator8]

My apologies...I need to explain a few things. The cussing has due to blood loss. I passed out the day I started this right before I got into my bed(I cut at night to avoid detection), and I was frustrated and wanted a way to avoid having to waste my time doing something I would strongly dislike. I wanted suggestions for a viable alternitive...so that I had another choice other than suicide. No one knows I'm suicidal until now, so I'm not controlling them with it. If they knew, I would have no where to go *as if I do...sigh* so I would have to do IT. Now that I am not hypoxic due to blood loss, I apologize. Also...I don't have a problem because I'll get over it. If I had a problem, then I would get help. What I need with this thread (luckily half of my questions are answered...thanks) is a way to convince them that I'm fine. My mother is up at all hours of the night looking up aspie sites, and though she claims she doesn't want this to define me, it clearly already does for her in such a drastic way. How do I stop this?

 

[Ex-User (13503)]

Wait, you just overcame hypoxia due to blood loss from cutting and you don't have a problem?

It seems like your real issue is how to convince them that they're focused on the wrong problem or a problem that doesn't exist.

You stop it by setting things straight with yourself first, not with her.


Replace the urge with exercise, specifically. You want to hurt yourself, you might as well gain from doing so. Push yourself harder. More push-ups. More jogging. Etc.

It's not a bad thing to beat the shit out of inanimate objects either.

 

[Ex-User (13503)]

lWhat I need with this thread (luckily half of my questions are answered...thanks) is a way to convince them that I'm fine. My mother is up at all hours of the night looking up aspie sites, and though she claims she doesn't want this to define me, it clearly already does for her in such a drastic way. How do I stop this?

A little more thought into this....

The first thing that stands out is that I really don't know enough about your mom. Or you, really. Or your situation. Where are you, geographically? Are you at a legit therapy provider or some religious or new age or otherwise obscure and/or non-empirical parent-chosen thing? Are you in a situation where you can talk 1:1 with a therapist about your mom and the things ITT vs being forced to do stupid group shit only?

Have you tried introducing your mom to the MBTI as a way to understand you (and herself!)? What about the rest of your family?

Are you aware that a large part of actual therapy (which may or may not be what you're getting) is basically learning to deal with other people's bullshit instead of fixing yourself?

If you'd prefer to respond via PM vs posting ITT, do it.

When I was 15 I was sent to the "special school" for students with psych issues, which was basically a partial hospitalization program. No one knew what they were doing, I was prescribed over a dozen meds that I never took, and I basically lost a year of education. I know what some things are like, man.