The most embarrassing thing you've done to woo the other sex

[onesteptwostep]

I've recently been mulling over this single girl (who I later found out was dating someone) and fell into this 'thinking about her every second of the day' mode. But this got me thinking, I've done some pretty stupid things over girls whom I've had attractions with, and meh, why not share some for some catharsis effect.

There was this one time in college where I went over to this girl's room/dorm over the window with a guitar (with the intention to sing a song) and started by saying 'why did you have to be so cute...' to which she yells 'omg... GET OUT'. We were alone, too. I bolted out because I didn't know what the f*** was happening. She later deletes my facebook page and we've never met again. It was a pretty depressing winter that year.

Luckily I think we've made up, since she responded pretty nicely to my 5 page letter a few months later, but yeah. Pretty embarrassing. She now lives in some country in South America, in peace, away from silly moi.

 

[Cognisant]

At a resort for a family thing, feeling lonely, said hi to a random chick on the mostly empty beach, she practically ran away.

At a hotel I propositioned my stepsister, to be fair I was drunk and she knew it so it was only awkward for about six months.

 

[Rixus]

I have done that many times - but since they will never know how obsessed I was over them having never shown it, I don't think it counts.

I don't know about to woo the opposite sex - but since nudity and every girl I knew was involved, this story of the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me stands. Since I didn't have a choice in the matter, I'm not sure if it will help and I think I came off in a reasonably good light anyway.

Bare in mind, I was 19 and weighed in at 147lbs - so I was a stick insect at the time. I was working at a night club and we were hosting a charity night in aid of sending a boy to America for a life saving operation. The show involved a Full Monty show performed by some of the bouncers (you can guess where this is going ). Unfortunately (you guessed it), one of them chickened out of it. The Drag Queen hosting the night came over to the bar and asked me to stand in . Since I was the only male on the bar at the time, and some kid's life was at stake, I didn't really have much choice.

As Leave Your Hat On began to play while I was on stage, the other two bouncers also chickened out - but it had begun so I had to finish it. The show must go on. So it happened that I performed a Full Monty show alone to said song, followed by Sex Bomb and finally (to seal my mortification) I performed the Cha-Cha Slide butt naked on stage in front of several hundred people I knew and saw on a daily basis. Thankfully by the time the Cha Cha Slide came, the two bouncers took pity and came back to perform as backing dancers in their underpants.

Just imagine if you were hoping to see three muscular bouncers perform, and instead 147lb weed with no clue how to dance came out.

It was the early days of camera phones, so there where pictures everywhere for the next month.

 

[onesteptwostep]

Oh geez that's pretty rough. Skinny white boys always make for an embarrassing story all right heh.

I have another one but it's a little bit more short and poignant: I asked a girl out and got rejected, but then proposed to her on myspace, which she thought was incredibly cute. She was incredibly cute too, and the only reason she had to reject me was because her parents didn't want her to be dating at that age. Anyway she's now happily married to some white guy doing some barista work. God I wish I could post pictures but that'd be a little creepy.

The girl in question was half Korean, half British, and a redhead; really really cute. If I had to guess she was some kind of ESTP or ENTP.

 

[Rixus]

We'll, on a similar note to that one. There was this girl at university. I'd met her in college - smart, kind, beautiful. Probably INFP, I guess. We became friends in the first year, having a class together. By Christmas, we were pretty close and would meet every morning for breakfast or at least coffee. Even bought each other Christmas presents. I was nuts about her - but played it cool because she had a boyfriend. Not a good one - they broke up because he hit her father in a drunken rage. This is where I wished I'd have been more grown up and NOT kissed her while she was still getting over him. Took another few days, but I told her how I felt. Via text (feels shame at this).

She didn't answer or speak to me. A couple of days and I started feeling a little crazy - you know, "oh.god, what have I done!", and started texting her daily just asking if she was OK, and so on. No answer. She did answer a week later and we went out to the cinema - nothing happened though, she didn't mention it and I was too shy or scared to say or do anything.

Again didn't speak to me for a couple of days later when she said she'd met someone else; an old crush. What's so darn embarrassing is that that night was the only time I ever actually cried over a girl. Not sure if I should have never said anything, or acted a bit more decisively.

 

[Reluctantly]

^ Ahh, she broke your heart. How cute.

I wrote a gushy note to someone I had a crush on once. It was silly and I immediately regretted it. Her friends thought it was a little weird cause I didn't really know her that well and once I realized what I did, I didn't even talk to her about it. Just avoided her for awhile and never said anything about it and she never did as well...that was pretty embarrassing.

And for some reason I can't help acting nervous around people I have a crush on. That has always felt embarrassing too because it's kind of obvious.

 

[TheManBeyond]

I bought her flowers
And she cried
And I felt it
So I dropped a tear too
And then we fucked until I took the plane
To never see her again
Or talk
Or smell our gastric juices
And just talk
As a myth
Or legend
And feed it
Until.

 

[The Gopher]

I bought her flowers
And she cried
And I felt it
So I dropped a tear too
And then we fucked until I took the plane
To never see her again
Or talk
Or smell our gastric juices
And just talk
As a myth
Or legend
And feed it
Until.

See this is what I was talking about.

Also why the OTHER sex, jeez racists...

This is weird though I can't remember a story.... Maybe I'll create one tonight.

 

[Rixus]

^ Ahh, she broke your heart. How cute.

I wrote a gushy note to someone I had a crush on once. It was silly and I immediately regretted it. Her friends thought it was a little weird cause I didn't really know her that well and once I realized what I did, I didn't even talk to her about it. Just avoided her for awhile and never said anything about it and she never did as well...that was pretty embarrassing.

And for some reason I can't help acting nervous around people I have a crush on. That has always felt embarrassing too because it's kind of obvious.
(

Well, you know, I still had a heart in those days. It's gone now.

I've never written an actual note to someone, but I used to be like that around someone I liked. But I can act perfectly normal (for me) as long as they don't know or suspect I have a crush on them. If I make any attempt to express feelings, I suddenly appear to be incapable of saying anything intelligible. Or at all. I might be able to make a simple vowel sound, but even that's unlikely. So I just avoid the subject, pretend not to have any feelings at all and pray that they make the first move so that they firmly believe me uninterested and I believe the same - unless they actually do make the first move in which case I would probably misunderstand it. Oddly enough, if I can actually flirt with someone it means I don't have any feelings for them and am comfortable joking around with them. Thankfully, it's not often someone makes me actually feel any emotion.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

My first real crush, while a freshman in highschool, was whomst the most I ever did for. She's the first and last person who inspired me to write poetry.

I had overheard tomorrow was her birthday and thought that was my chance to do something nice, so when school was over I went home and crafted her a birthday card with rainbow colors (I thought it would appeal because she was bisexual and part of the lgbt community), and for positive vibes since I also overheard she lived in a foster home. I wanted to give her $5 along with the card but all I had was a $20 and had no time to break it before class. I knew it was too much but I felt she wouldn't like the card by itself. So I put the $20 in there and waited for tomorrow. When the day came I was so embarrassed that I didn't even check to see if the money had not fallen out before I handed it to her. She liked it however, called me sweet and gave me a hug. It went nowhere though as we hung out in different circles.

Some weeks later we were watching a movie in class and she sat next to me. Somehow I managed to start a conversation and she talked about what life was like in a foster home and eventually some arts thing for lgbt that she was promoting. I mentioned that I wrote poetry for someone I liked and she asked to hear it. So right there with the lights out and our eyes focused on each other I read her the poem I wrote just for her. I wanted so bad to tell her who it was really for. She complimented it and handed me a little flyer for the arts thing and left to do something else.

She ended up switching schools over the summer break and I was left totally heartbroken. Every girl I saw I hoped to be her. Months and months later after I had nearly gotten over her, in my senior year I bumped into her after school at some quick mart, she was the ice cream server. I said hello and told her I remembered her and brought up our highschool. By then I was numb enough to take it when she said she didn't remember me. Bittersweet I guess, the closure felt good. We hugged once more I said goodbye and never saw her again.

Haven't really cared for wooing since that. Better to just hang out with people you already get along well with.

 

[kora]

That is not embaressing just rather nice and sad, I wish she knew the poem was for her, why don't you find her on facebook ?

(also can i see the poem, maybe that's the embarrassing part )

I was basically just continually embarrassed in front of my crushes to the point where I just couldn't speak and would aggressively tell them to leave me alone when they attempted communication with me because the stress of trying to be normal was too much and I preferred to be cold and reject them instead of having to deal with the whole thing, then retreat to a corner and imagine all the things that could be in vivid detail. It took me years to get over the paralysis and attempt any kind of communication.

I set my hair on fire in front of my current boyfriend when I was lighting a cigarette when we first met though at least I was just about able to talk to him instead of impulsively telling him to fuck off unlike all the ones before.

 

[The Gopher]

This is weird though I can't remember a story.... Maybe I'll create one tonight.

Hmm he wasn't there, I'll embarrass myself later.

 

[onesteptwostep]

My first real crush, while a freshman in highschool, was whomst the most I ever did for. She's the first and last person who inspired me to write poetry.

I had overheard tomorrow was her birthday and thought that was my chance to do something nice, so when school was over I went home and crafted her a birthday card with rainbow colors (I thought it would appeal because she was bisexual and part of the lgbt community), and for positive vibes since I also overheard she lived in a foster home. I wanted to give her $5 along with the card but all I had was a $20 and had no time to break it before class. I knew it was too much but I felt she wouldn't like the card by itself. So I put the $20 in there and waited for tomorrow. When the day came I was so embarrassed that I didn't even check to see if the money had not fallen out before I handed it to her. She liked it however, called me sweet and gave me a hug. It went nowhere though as we hung out in different circles.

Some weeks later we were watching a movie in class and she sat next to me. Somehow I managed to start a conversation and she talked about what life was like in a foster home and eventually some arts thing for lgbt that she was promoting. I mentioned that I wrote poetry for someone I liked and she asked to hear it. So right there with the lights out and our eyes focused on each other I read her the poem I wrote just for her. I wanted so bad to tell her who it was really for. She complimented it and handed me a little flyer for the arts thing and left to do something else.

She ended up switching schools over the summer break and I was left totally heartbroken. Every girl I saw I hoped to be her. Months and months later after I had nearly gotten over her, in my senior year I bumped into her after school at some quick mart, she was the ice cream server. I said hello and told her I remembered her and brought up our highschool. By then I was numb enough to take it when she said she didn't remember me. Bittersweet I guess, the closure felt good. We hugged once more I said goodbye and never saw her again.

Haven't really cared for wooing since that. Better to just hang out with people you already get along well with.

Oh god the feels. Would totally buy you a beer if i could.

 

[Reluctantly]

So right there with the lights out and our eyes focused on each other I read her the poem I wrote just for her.

Think you should have kissed her?

 

[Rixus]

After being single for a while following my divorce, an old flame who was a friend I'd had a crush on a long time ago contacted me - having heard about me and had a similar thing happen to her. She asked if I wanted to go out for the night - I also happened to have no kids that night so was feeling somewhat hopeful.

So I went out (now bearing mind I'd just ran in a 6 mile race that day, so was pretty worn out). Anyway, we had a few drinks and a good catch up. It came to my attention that she'd already had a few drinks with friends before joining me. I realised she was a bit overly intoxicated to consider taking her home when she tried to show me a scar her ex-husband had left her with on her thigh - and fell over with her underwear half down in the middle of the pub.

At around 10:30 she asked to go home, so I got her to a taxi. Then I was concerned, and knowing her home was a short walk from my mother's I thought I'd see her home safely and then be on my way. Which I did.

Unfortunately, my phone battery ran out and I got locked out of both houses. I ended up discovering the lock was broken on my mother's car and attempting to sleep in there. It was early March and the window was broken, so I almost had hypothermia by morning when I managed to wake my mother up. I also left my contact lenses in and ended up with a severe eye abrasion and spent the next week with an eye patch on.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Oddly enough, if I can actually flirt with someone it means I don't have any feelings for them and am comfortable joking around with them. Thankfully, it's not often someone makes me actually feel any emotion.

Same, it's really frustrating. When I like the person I get super anxious about being inauthentic or offensive, sometimes it works out if our personalities are similar but mostly it makes me incapable of taking initiative.

I had a coworker who flirted with me all the time for several months and I only found out she had a boyfriend when I went out for drinks with the company. Thing is I actually liked her, so her outgoing nature somewhat helped me learn to integrate flirting with genuine attraction.

There was this one time in college where I went over to this girl's room/dorm over the window with a guitar (with the intention to sing a song) and started by saying 'why did you have to be so cute...' to which she yells 'omg... GET OUT'. We were alone, too. I bolted out because I didn't know what the f*** was happening. She later deletes my facebook page and we've never met again. It was a pretty depressing winter that year.

Luckily I think we've made up, since she responded pretty nicely to my 5 page letter a few months later, but yeah. Pretty embarrassing. She now lives in some country in South America, in peace, away from silly moi.

I vote this one for most hilarious. chivalry is dead

That is not embaressing just rather nice and sad, I wish she knew the poem was for her, why don't you find her on facebook ?

(also can i see the poem, maybe that's the embarrassing part )

It's the most expressive I've ever been I guess is what I mean to say. Since then I haven't risked my feelings like that.

I did look up her myspace(lol) when she left the school but I haven't used facebook for years. I'm not sure what I would even say to her.

90% sure this was the poem. Not too embarrassing I think.

Spoiler

Thump thump, thump thump
That sound, what could it be?
'Tis mine heart to which
thou possesses the key

A rose petal for a hope
a penny for a thought
Yea I have fallen in love,
and by your beauty, I was caught

If indeed beauty
is in the eye of the beholder
then thou art the brown iris in my eye
I plead to Atlas
that he may raise Earth higher upon his shoulder
So that I may kiss my Isis in the sky

And to exist forever, joined together, as one
with you as my Moon and me as your Sun

I was basically just continually embarrassed in front of my crushes to the point where I just couldn't speak and would aggressively tell them to leave me alone when they attempted communication with me because the stress of trying to be normal was too much and I preferred to be cold and reject them instead of having to deal with the whole thing, then retreat to a corner and imagine all the things that could be in vivid detail. It took me years to get over the paralysis and attempt any kind of communication.

I set my hair on fire in front of my current boyfriend when I was lighting a cigarette when we first met though at least I was just about able to talk to him instead of impulsively telling him to fuck off unlike all the ones before.

Great that you manged to make it work, who was the more extraverted one? I did eventually realize boys and girls were alike when it comes to shyness but even now it still seems a bit unbelievable to me.

Spoiler

As a senior there was a freshman girl who knew me from spanish class that used to give me longing stares everywhere she saw me, even across the outside lunch yard. One day I got a friend request and message from her on myspace and she practically confessed her love to me right there and admitted that she stalked me to find out who I was lol, but I didn't know what to do and just kind of downplayed it. I thought she was cute, and knew that she had was interested just shy but I think I didn't want to hurt her feelings by being just friends. Plus all that attention I wasn't used too made me uncomfortable. She never stopped staring though.

Think you should have kissed her?

Perhaps. But I don't think about it anymore :/.

Oh god the feels. Would totally buy you a beer if i could.

Cheers mate.