the horrible life

[TheManBeyond]

damn, i feel totally out of everything
i'm here in my room looking at the walls, smoking cigarette after cigarette (i even double the dose) and tons of beers, literally tons, with no time during the day to do anything because i work and i arrive late at home and when weekend arrives i have no money to go out and i only know two people here to meet and they are always busy cuz they have their groups of friends or one of them is married so he spends all the time in jail with his girl
and i'm talking to random people like crazy in facebook and i'm all the time with no peace of mind
i'm starting to wonder how long can i stay like this
i have 2 months ahead until i know if my contract will get renewed but i'm thinking of skipping it, my job destroyes me so much, and it's not even that bad
i just think i hate working if there's no reward, i don't mean the money, but something to spend the money on, and also the money
i need to meet people --- fill at least 2 days per week of boredom
i need to find a girl --- fill 2 nights at least per week with sex and warm bed sharing
i need to get paid more
i need to find a cheaper rent
it's all so fucked up
it has been the same for almost 2 months now actually, everyday
even tho i met a friend and we went out two nights
but it was kind of boring
it got to the point that i think i feel depressed or smth cuz i cannot even think about creative own projects, like recording music or makiing dumb audiovisuals, lately i write some bullshit but gets boring after a while
sometimes i think of moving to other country but i would need to save more money, somehow i think it would push me even more to meet people and outside people are more curious about you or maybe i'm the one who's more curious about them...
it has to change somehow
fuck it

where are those days where i had the best tight asses in town, the best top models, the best group of friends and world felt like it was a jungle?
damn i will kill myself if it doesn't radically change in the next 5 months

 

[Black Rose]

Lack of peace of mind comes from lack of control. So if you find that you cannot do fun things on the week end and facebook is not giving you peace of mind then you need to find something to do that just makes you feel like you are in control but all having fun. Think of what relaxes you but also is a physical activity. I know that when I was at my job I so always tired. I had no friends to do stuff with. What I did was focus on the future that things would get better. I was vomiting all the time because I was sick but I kept my mental focus. Find something you have control over, keep your mental focus. What ever it is, you need something to do, to give yourself to it completely. Some people pray to God to fill the void but yes the void is real, it needs to be filled. You need your happy thought. Don't think of how it takes from you but that you are giving yourself to that thing that you want most of all and that you do not lack it but that you live for it.

https://youtu.be/YSMR-jx-yyg

 

[Grayman]

Fuck it all

FUCK IT ALL!!! Join the military or something. You just need newer stimulation.

 

[Reluctantly]

Sell your body for $$$

*not sure if serious*

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Change doesn't happen overnight, keep it together and I'm sure you'll figure it out in time.

You can do like i'm doing and purchase a motorcycle (eyeing ninja 300 / v star / honda 750) . If I don't get any fun out of it I'm statistically likely to die anyway. Also, maybe unshaving the beard might help.

 

[Creeping Death]

>No time to do anything because work
>No money left to go out on weekends
>cig after cig, tons of beer

If you work all the time, even if you have a shitty wagecuck job, saving up shouldn't be a huge problem.
Don't complain about having no extra money on the weekends if you're drinking and smoking all the time. End this. Alcohol is stupid anyways.

About finding a girl- I don't think you're in the right place right now for a relationship. Work on yourself first, the better you improve, the more women will take notice.

 

[The Gopher]

Change doesn't happen overnight, keep it together and I'm sure you'll figure it out in time.

You can do like i'm doing and purchase a motorcycle (eyeing ninja 300 / v star / honda 750) . If I don't get any fun out of it I'm statistically likely to die anyway. Also, maybe unshaving the beard might help.

Nice, I like the 500's but any of those will be good.

If you want to pick up guys it's a pretty good bet.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Yup. Do you ride? I hear that compared to other countries it's dangerously easy to obtain the license in the U.S., like the second and last step is for me to complete the msf course.

 

[The Gopher]

Yup. Do you ride? I hear that compared to other countries it's dangerously easy to obtain the license in the U.S., like the second and last step is for me to complete the msf course.

This is probably going to derail but since riding dramatically improved my life I guess I can pretend it's a recommendation.

Yeah apparently the msf course is only parking lot speeds and then no restrictions at all. Here we have to go up to 100km/h and around various roads but it still only takes a day or so. Then restricted to a 500cc or a 650 single for a year or two. (Year for me but they just changed it to two) Personally I think our system is a better one than UK which is ridiculous and yours which is too easy.

But yeah motorcycling changed me from finding any excuse not to drive or go somewhere to actually doing things.

 

[Grayman]

This is probably going to derail but since riding dramatically improved my life I guess I can pretend it's a recommendation.

Yeah apparently the msf course is only parking lot speeds and then no restrictions at all. Here we have to go up to 100km/h and around various roads but it still only takes a day or so. Then restricted to a 500cc or a 650 single for a year or two. (Year for me but they just changed it to two) Personally I think our system is a better one than UK which is ridiculous and yours which is too easy.

But yeah motorcycling changed me from finding any excuse not to drive or go somewhere to actually doing things.

Ride one on Xbox. Its cheaper and you don't risk your life for a simple dopamine injection. F'ing adrenaline/dopamine addicts!

 

[EyeSeeCold]

This is probably going to derail but since riding dramatically improved my life I guess I can pretend it's a recommendation.

Yeah apparently the msf course is only parking lot speeds and then no restrictions at all. Here we have to go up to 100km/h and around various roads but it still only takes a day or so. Then restricted to a 500cc or a 650 single for a year or two. (Year for me but they just changed it to two) Personally I think our system is a better one than UK which is ridiculous and yours which is too easy.

But yeah motorcycling changed me from finding any excuse not to drive or go somewhere to actually doing things.

Sounds awesome, I agree, I was expecting to do some light touring once I get mine since lanesplitting would cut down on traffic delay.

What do you think @TMB? It's worth a shot.

 

[The Gopher]

Ride one on Xbox. Its cheaper and you don't risk your life for a simple dopamine injection. F'ing adrenaline/dopamine addicts!

I don't ride for a dopamine injection, in fact that wasn't even on my list of considerations. I ride because I don't feel control in a car. Honestly I get anxiety in a car due to the lack of control, maneuverability and visibility I have. Weird right?

While it's more likely I would die in a crash on a motorbike it's less likely I, personally, would get into a crash compared with a car.

The other reasons are as ESC says lane filtering. Commuting to and from work. I get sick in crowded trains or buses (claustrophobia type 2?) due to the lack or perceived lack of air and in a car it would take me an hour or more and cost more for parking. With a motorcycle it's only 30 minutes since I can filter. (Which is safer and statistically better for everyone and America is really behind the curve in most states but that seems to be changing)

Fuel costs were also a reason, it's also cheaper to register and insure than a car. (Well unless you are on a sports bike and want comprehensive) Although those costs are offset a bit by gear and more frequent maintenance. Free parking most places.

Of course as far as adrenaline goes yes you can buy a bike for half the price of a normal car and achieve super car speeds however that would raise the likelihood of crashing so you can simply chose to not do that. Alternatively if you are suicidal it might lengthen your life slightly.

It's possible you view motorcycles as a hobby compared to a utility vehicle which would make sense if you lived in america. In most of the world however it's a more practical machine.

A big part of the reason so many people crash and die on motorcycles is not because it's inherently extremely dangerous (although it is more) but because all the people who would take risks and be stupid gravitate to it. In a sense it's a self fulfilling prophecy. If you wear a white helmet, a hi-vis jacket. (the reason you don't wear hi-vis helmet with hi-vis jacket is due to white standing out more if the sun is behind you) Don't speed, ride while on drugs or alcohol, anticipate and predict other peoples behavior and take proper training the risk is mitigated a huge amount.

That said I wouldn't recommend everyone ride some people don't have the spacial awareness/mechanical ability to operate one safely.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

I understand that the danger is real but it's not unavoidable. From what I've seen crashes are mostly:

• Driver rear-ending / side swiping a motorcyclist
• Rider speeding through an intersection
• Rider braking and leaning at the same time during an unlikely turn
• Rider (turns into a corner and) hits the gap between road and gravel/grass/sand

I'm pretty sure avoiding the first is possible through constant positioning. The second one is self-explanatory. The third could be helped with sunglasses for visibility and practicing leans vs braking situations. The last is just about paying attention: this guy cut it real close right here but he seems to have expert turning skills.


Besides what's wrong with a little adrenaline. . Really though it's more of a transportation concern for me, however Gopher is right about maintenance offsetting potential gains. If I can find a decent car isn't a 20 year old beater that would be more practical.

 

[Artsu Tharaz]

I can't offer consoling advice, but what I can do is tell you how shit my life is too.

- no job, so limited funds, but addicted to smoking and other indulgences
- still doing the same degree after over 7 years
- no girlfriend or sex in a few years
- forced to take antipsychotics because of my "schizophrenia"
- a couple friends only and wish i had more
- sometimes think i'll never achieve a happy life

And on the plus side
- i'm getting pretty good at typing people, skills are progressing fast

Pointless post of mine...

If I had my shit together better I would tell you how to get your shit together better but I don't know what to tell myself. 2 months isn't too bad of a time for things to be shit for, I mean just hope it isn't an ongoing thing for a long time to come.

But I find that life seems over-rated, nothing seems that good... but I don't have "those days" to look back on. Maybe that time I hung out with this chick quite regularly for a couple months and made out with her one time. That was cool.

Getting out of depression... not sure how to do it. But I can say that having a good amount of socialising would be more important for you than it would be for me.

I guess I'll ask... how did you manage to be socially successful before? What changed?

...although that question is very Si thing to ask, but I asked because you mentioned an Si thing...

There was a time when I listened to your song, I think it's called "na", and I felt very confident. The song was better each listen.

There must be effective ways to meet people... I mean lots of people like to smoke cigs and drink, but fucked if I know how to meet them. I've got the same couple friends of years ago but do I really feel satisfied with that? No. And I've pushed every other person out of my life when I've been psychotic or whatever it is.

Just like... change your perspective man. See things as going well, and it will become true because that's subjective anyway. \(o.O)/

 

[TAC]

If you live in/near a populated city, try the meetup app. I recently moved to TX from NY with virtually 0 friends here. But if you just search the app for shit your interested in. youll likely find some people to meetup with various days of the week. And you can browse groups in your area if your looking to get into something new. The first things I did when I moved here was google a rugby club to join since I've been playing most of my life, and I also found a group of people on the meetup app who play Magic: The Gathering at a bar every sunday. You could even create a group on the app yourself if you wish for literally anything. The most bizarre one ive seen here in houston is named the Heterosexual male intimacy cuddling group. Its description is basically a bunch of straight guys who like to do physical activities and then cuddle with each other afterwords.

 

[TheManBeyond]

yeah, i mean, those days i was really low all the time, i think i changed the next day or so, i've been feeling much better already for some weeks, something changed, perhaps i set new goals, first of all and the smallest is to record a few cool songs for another "record" and promote it with the help of a friend. Second is to make my boss extend my contract. Third save money and perhaps if things are too safe over here move somewhere else to experiment. If 3 world war hasnt' started.
i think i was listening to this song that's why i came up with the whole horrible life title:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkroIXktjgE

and about the friends and girls, i guess i was in the right place at the right time they say? i'm used to being alone most of the time
it was just a mix of situations i guess.

yeah i have an issue with being a bit dramatic sometimes. i don't know how to deal with my feelings.

 

[Cognisant]

Keep rolling the dice till you're dead.

Go places you've never been even if they're only around the corner, talk to people you don't know even if it's just a compliment in the elevator, try a new look even if it doesn't look good, just keep rolling the dice man.