Your non-conformist levels are so high it seems you are willing to give up your identity just to have one—albeit, a collective one. Overall, identity, in all senses of the word, seems an important issue to you, whether you're aware of it or not.
There is also a submissiveness to fantastic superiority, a sort of rejection of lucid reality and a need to subjugate it. A defense mechanism likely developed from your past environments.
The willful honesty about otherwise alarming subjects suggest states of disassociation, and a conflicting desire, however weak, to repent and drop the equivocal ego and connect with other humans on an openly sincere level.
tl;dr enneatype 4 so, sx.
I've watched too much Law & Order: Criminal Intent ...