The 5 Stages of Death&Grief

[TimeAsylums]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kübler-Ross_model

How well do they add up to you NTs?

Personally I go what the hell, I'd rather six to #6: Death.

I already have #5 all the time...

wbu?

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

 

[DelusiveNinja]

*remembering when Light Yagami got caught*

 

[doncarlzone]

I've yet to experience a death that really affected me. Then again, I've never been in love either.

Suppose it's just a matter of time.

 

[Hadoblado]

It seems like claptrap to me, but I'm not dying, nor have I experienced much grief.

 

[Polaris]

1. Denial

2. Denial + flashes of reality (e.g.; finding person is still listed in phone contacts -- to delete or not to delete?)

3. Denial + Guilt (I should have done A, B, C and this person would still be alive; if A, B C, I wouldn't feel terrible about the last conflict we had, etc..)

4. Denial + sense of having the ground ripped from underneath oneself

5. Reality hits as one is encountered time after time with trivial facts that confirm the person's non-existence ---> strong emotions mixed with periods of complete apathy.

6. Rest of life.......how to deal....just do it.

 

[Jennywocky]

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

it's a decent generalization, but it's not a cosmic rule. People will skip steps or blitz through them, maybe even experience things not in the list.

But it's not a senseless progess, it makes sense.

Typically people first try to pretend the problem doesn't exist, or live like the problem doesn't exist.

When they can't avoid the problem, then they get frustrated and pissed. (They haven't yet accepted that the issue exists.) The emotions take over here. Anger is typically a response to either hurt (actual loss) or fear of loss (psychic pain).

Once they get over being pissed (since being pissed isn't fixing their situation), they start negotiating. This can be direct (if a person is responsible for their loss -- "I'll do this if you do that") or indirect (if the loss is just part of a life situation -- "If I exercise more, maybe my heart condition will go away").

Once negotiations fail (if they do), they realize they have no power. They can't change their fate. This typically leads to depression. The anger over the hurt is directed at self. Futility. Why care? Nothing can be done.

Acceptance is actually a form of self-empowerment, by embracing the situation and deciding to make the most of it.

Again, not all people pass through these steps, not all steps last the same amount of time, and sometimes the situation might not demand that one gets to the end of the process. Someone might even die halfway through the process and never finish the intrapersonal work.

Really, who can say whether it's "accurate"? But it seems to approximate experience enough to be very useful regardless.

Personally I go what the hell, I'd rather six to #6: Death.

Why?

Pretty much to me, that would suggest you have no interest in learning anything by the experience.

 

[TimeAsylums]

no interest in learning anything by the experience.

What? I'm Ne, not Se/Si.

 

[Jennywocky]

welcome to Ne.

Oh, stop making bullshit excuses.
You're a human being, not an MBTI cliche.

(Or am I being too generous here? )

 

[TimeAsylums]

Oh, stop making bullshit excuses.
You're a human being, not an MBTI cliche.

at how you always seem to assume the mbti puts people into boxes when it is explicitly generalizations and correlations not specificity...

 

[Jennywocky]

at how you always seem to assume the mbti puts people into boxes when it is explicitly generalizations and correlations not specificity...

Nice dodge of my initial question.

Let me know if you actually want to discuss something, or if the gameplay is all you're in this for.

 

[Vrecknidj]

I've experienced the deaths of others and the grief of that many, many times. The stages of grief are generally apt and accurate. That said, as was pointed out above, often the experience isn't in the order listed. Further, and this is important, grief comes back. Even if you've worked through it, it comes back. It's worth paying attention to yourself. It's worth knowing yourself. And, generally, you don't know yourself as well as you think you do.

 

[Jennywocky]

I've experienced the deaths of others and the grief of that many, many times. The stages of grief are generally apt and accurate. That said, as was pointed out above, often the experience isn't in the order listed. Further, and this is important, grief comes back. Even if you've worked through it, it comes back. It's worth paying attention to yourself. It's worth knowing yourself. And, generally, you don't know yourself as well as you think you do.

Great point in the bold. Thank you for noting it.

There are some things in my life that I feel like I'd worked through, and then they can just hit me again if the right trigger occurs. It's frustrating at times, but I am accepting it's likely to be how it works.

 

[Reluctantly]

I was once like that; then over time, I became like this

Here's my stages

1. Resistance
*If that fails,

2. Dissociation
A. Rebirth
B. Desensitization
C. Embrace the grief
*if that fails,

3. Death?

It works for me and I don't need to rely on anyone for emotional stability/relief, but some people feel I'm psychopathic or something. I could be one of those people that live alone out in the wild and don't go crazy from it. One of my drill sergeants in basic asked me once, if I had emotions. She also said once to my face in admitted earnest that I was creepy as fuck (she made it a point to let me know she was being honest and not playing drill sergeant).

I'm not a psychopath though, but she's probably right about the creepiness. I creep myself out. The funny thing was, I was like that because she was the most intimidating person I've ever met. I guess when I'm scared/nervous my instinct is to ditch my emotions.

 

[Duxwing]

Great point in the bold. Thank you for noting it.

There are some things in my life that I feel like I'd worked through, and then they can just hit me again if the right trigger occurs. It's frustrating at times, but I am accepting it's likely to be how it works.

Might habituating yourself to these triggers help?

-Duxwing

 

[gnomes?!]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kübler-Ross_model

How well do they add up to you NTs?

Personally I go what the hell, I'd rather six to #6: Death.

I already have #5 all the time...

wbu?

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

When my grandmother died a few months ago, I only went through 1,4 and 5. My Denial was super short, like, I said 'no' one time, then started crying and after 2 minutes of that I hit Acceptence. If you were reading a book I guess it would describe my acceptance as 'she put on an emotionless mask', because I accepted it and that was that. Now at the funeral I did cry again, but directly after the service was over I was good. I don't know if this response is typical for an INTP, so reply with your opinion.
Oh, and on this, I also noticed that my ENFP sister went through all these stages very slowly, I still don't think she has gotten over it yet.

 

[Cognisant]

When I found out a puppy of mine, Muttly, had been run over I initially didn't react at all, just acknowledged it as fact and that it was unfortunate, it was only that evening when I was in the shower that I it really occurred to me I'd never see him again and that his short life had come to such an abrupt end alone on the hot bitumen, I never got to say goodbye, I never even saw the body.

I skinned my knuckles punching the tiled wall, when I came out they asked what all the banging was, I replied "nothing" then went straight to bed and cried myself to sleep.

 

[The Gopher]

I don't understand bargaining. The rest I could see happening depending on what... happens.

 

[TimeAsylums]

I don't understand bargaining.

I imagine it's an irrational bargaining. Pleading with the higher power/whatever caused your grief.

idk