That's great you found somewhere to thrive Polaris, congratulations. I think the solution to what Jung was saying with his wise words was precisely what you did, took yourself out of a disagreeable environment to find kin more agreeable with your own disposition. I've done the opposite and became like the Romans in whatever Rome I was in despite it feeling like an ill fitting jumper all my life - and thus ending up being somewhat lonely.
I have done both. I grew up in a religious environment culturally (rural Pennsyltucky, so to speak). I was always questioning but this was back before the Internet, so it was hard to find legitimate material to step outside the world view until I was older and left the area. I always had lots of issues with inconsistencies that had never been resolved (at least intellectually) and getting exposure to a lot of information outside my home environment was very formative and eventually (among other things) led to me leaving that area and that social culture in my mid-30's.
But socially? Basically I had to be either alone, or tease out a few individuals who were also capable of stepping outside the worldview we lived in / had issues with, or else somehow look okay on the surface. I guess I was really adept at looking like I fit on the surface, since a lot of people seemed to respect and/or like me; but the whole time I felt extremely lonely and isolated and also had low-lying frustration/ire at the crazy culture around me.
(I also had a heavily dysfunctional family growing up, with issues that persisted until my dad's death a few years back... He WASN'T religious but it was yet another environment I had to "play the game" in because I felt like I couldn't just walk out / abandon the family and conflict was pointless because it just made life hell for everyone and he wasn't about to adjust.)
Anyway. Yeah. I spent a large of chunk of life "pretending to be a Roman" and looking like a Roman, until finally I couldn't deal anymore and decided for my own sanity I needed to live more in accordance with "me" and be more open about myself and my actual thoughts on things. As you would expect, this didn't go over well, and I left the area I grew up and lived in, and I left church subculture, and I forged a new life for myself. Most of my family dropped me. I still have my mom and my kids (although they're out in the world now doing their thing), and my cousins who I don't really see much except at weddings or funerals aside from an ENFP cous I take pains to visit annually. (She was the other black sheep of the family.)
So I am more "content" at least in terms of how I live my life, what I say, how I act, who I am. I'm not smothered, at least. Like Polaris, I got the hell out of dodge. I'm "happier." I'm not the "nice" person some people viewed me as any more, I am more cutting, and more honest, and funnier outwardly, and show my skepticism. I don't allow myself to be jammed into the mold nearly like what I used to. Some people could deal, some could not.
There's still some mess there, because if you didn't grow up in my culture, it can seem somewhat unfathomable what it was like to live in there and even play the game to start with. And all that foundation -- a few decades of life -- has little bearing on my current existence, so it's like all that heritage was cut off to some degree. So.. happier, yes. I finally have "myself" outwardly, not just inwardly. But it still lingers. You just make the best of the situation you're in and be true to what you think -- always inwardly and as much outwardly as plausible -- and find what happiness / life coherence you can.
