Staying happy, how do you do it?

[Mia]

I mean actual happiness, not momentary pleasure.

 

[Cognisant]

Well you can satisfy all your biological impulses all the time (easier said than done) then there's ennui and existentialism to overcome, a sense of agency as well, not to mention all manner of materialistic/social neuroses, and even with all this worked out you need to exercise, eat well and get enough vitamin D.

Drinking is so much easier, sure it's not actual happiness but it is actually achievable and I just take the highs with the lows, it's just how life goes y'know.

Maybe actual happiness is being happy enough to not care if you're not happy?

 

[Zero]

The simple answer is you don't.

The complicated one begins with which philosophy makes sense to you and what kind of happiness do you want and what kind of misery or melancholy do you suffer?

 

[snafupants]

Well you can satisfy all your biological impulses all the time (easier said than done) then there's ennui and existentialism to overcome, a sense of agency as well, not to mention all manner of materialistic/social neuroses, and even with all this worked out you need to exercise, eat well and get enough vitamin D.

Drinking is so much easier, sure it's not actual happiness but it is actually achievable and I just take the highs with the lows, it's just how life goes y'know.

Maybe actual happiness is being happy enough to not care if you're not happy?

@Cognisant

Replace the last use of happiness with contentment and I agree. Since humans have built-in mechanisms to crimp the sensation of happiness, which is really an ephemeral feeling, and promote emotional homeostasis, happiness is a futile pursuit; even if improbably grasped, as you/Schopenhauer say, happiness is quickly replaced by boredom or some less desirable sentiment. In my view, relative long-term contentment, minus biological imperatives and unpredictable pitfalls, arises from adequate relationships, work, and recreation. All three of these things should be energy granting rather than energy draining. Provided the selected offshoots of the foregoing big three aren't ultimately or irreversibly destructive and self-defeating, these things should be tapped and enjoyed to full benefit. Perhaps another caveat, though somewhat unessential to the original schema, entails assisting or at least not harming others; I would like to see people thinking about posterity and future mankind rather than egoistically and myopically endeavoring to extract their own maximum possible advantage from this planet and its peoples and institutions. For the foregoing reasons, knowing oneself is crucial to long-term contentment, without which finding long-term contentment would prove arduous, taxing, perhaps drawn out, and essentially fortuitous. There really isn't any universal formula for ensuring extended happiness because, as my opening alludes to, such an achievement is precluded by biology. The deck's rigged.

 

[Words]

I mean actual happiness, not momentary pleasure.

Momentary pleasure ad infinitum, then.

I haven't asked this question for years now, which i think is a good sign. I'll tell you my formula---Adapting to natural preferences(especially survival) and stressing on these natural likings + minor focus on subjective/arbitrary attachments, adjusting long-term and short-term goals to fit the natural likings(especially survival) primarily and the values you have as secondary. I hate to consistently bring up cognitive functions, but I really have to poke Ne for short-term optimism/motivation.

Man, I'm thirsty again...

Maybe actual happiness is being happy enough to not care if you're not happy?

Yeah. It's not the core definition itself, i think, but its a key property.

The simple answer is you don't.

The complicated one begins with which philosophy makes sense to you and what kind of happiness do you want and what kind of misery or melancholy do you suffer?

Oh, you're back. Nice.

 

[Zero]

Words - After two years (almost, apparently: Last logged in Dec 2010.) Didn't know if I would recognize anyone or anyone would recognize me. I was just going to lurk and see what all was happening here... I think that plan lasted for two minutes. Anyway, thanks.

 

[GYX_Kid]

Keep control of your mind, if you start getting physically unhealthy it can interfere with your mental state for example. If you're too lazy for regular exercise then even just some quality omega-3s and a daily multivitamin can make a difference. Of course there's also alcohol etc for momentary relief and fun, and if you wanted to even fuck it and put yourself into states of decreased sanity (I can think of many reasons one might want to) there are plenty of ways to do that. But make sure you keep control and that it remains temporary. Now I'm just talking to myself.

 

[Monty]

I tend to lose myself in hobbies, which does help. Reading and writing regularly are fantastic ways to create contentment. In a similar vogue I've always found music and singing as a great way to break depression. Exercise, though I don't do it, is also extremely beneficial to your mental state. It isn't everything though. Melancholia and depression can be as invasive as a serrated knife. I have heard that meditation can be beneficial but I could never do with all that sitting still and humming crap... You could... get a dog?

Drinking or insanity. Or both. That's how how you stay happy.

 

[skip]

I'm not ecstatic all the time, but I'm generally positive and pretty happy with life.

Exercise, prayer, meditation.

 

[CLOfriendOSE]

I'm not ecstatic all the time, but I'm generally positive and pretty happy with life.

Exercise, prayer, meditation.

In general, these seems to work. I am a big advocate for any form of yoga, as it incorporates all these elements.

A big one: deep breathing.

We can expand Vital Capacity of the lungs in 2 ways: prolonged aerobic exercise and deep breathing. More breath=more oxygen=more ATP=more energy. A basic, but effective, exercise is this: inhale 4 even breaths through the nose, so that you fill yourself completely, exhale through the nose over 2 beats (at first you'll probably get 3.5 breaths - keep trying to inhale and you will slowly increase the maximum capacity - the goal is even breaths, find the balance between how much you can take in and the ease of breath as going to fast can cause tension- remember that the breath is low- inspiration through the diaphragm). Do this for a minimum of 3 minutes. (ideally in easy pose or lotus, but it works great in traffic too)

If mantra helps you focus: sa ta na ma, waheguru
(roughly: Infinity, Life, Death, Rebirth - ecstasy [through] ultimate-reality)

I find most anxiety and sadness to be responses to things out of our control. To remind ourselves of our inner world and to claim control of the immediate self, through the breath, we can live "happier" lives.

 

[HDINTP]

I just do something. Yes exercise, read, write, listen music do all of that. Since i can't really say I am unhappy then I am happy aren't I? Just cope with life somehow. Someone may say you should have goals. I am not fan of that because they are not long term at least in my case. Just adapt and act on that that is what I could say at least theoretically...

 

[HDINTP]

Body and mind in balance yeah that could be it. I used to have problems with this too that staying happy but as I said when you think you are not unhappy. Don't feel like end this all yet do you?

 

[Architect]

What is happiness? I need a crisp definition to give you a definitive answer.

I'll tell you what gives me deep satisfaction which is my work. Being an engineer is a privileged position in society; people pay you a lot of money to tell them how to think and live.

We [the engineers] make up extensions to your being, like remote eyes and ears (webcams and mobile phones) and expanded memory (the world of details you can search for online). These become the structures by which you connect to the world and other people…. We tinker with your philosophy by direct manipulation of your cognitive experience…. It takes only a tiny group of engineers to create technology that can shape the entire future of human experience with incredible speed.

(Mind Control and the Internet)

So when I make something new, after arduous hard work it feels really good and makes everything worth it. Plus I feel part of a greater cause continuing technological innovation which started on this planet billions of years ago.

With people it depends. I have two good friends who I really enjoy talking to. Conversation can really go places. Most other people are boring. They either want to talk about nothing (small talk) or they want to be entertained (telling funny stories). My wife/soulmate is another, and my INTP son is quickly becoming one too.

Otherwise I enjoy various things. Watching a good show, learning a new piece (piano), doing photography.

 

[Fallenman]

Let me try to describe the life of happy person with these 10 qualities. If any of you guys are following my meanderings you'll notice a theme :P

-Feeling in control of one's life
-Knowing how to fortify one's "stress hardiness"
-Being empathetic
-Displaying effective communication and other interpersonal capabilities
-Possessing solid problem-solving and decision-making skills
-Establishing realistic goals and expectations
-Learning from both success and failure
-Being a compassionate and contributing member of society
-Living a responsible life based on a set of thoughtful values
-Feeling special (not self-centered) while helping others to feel the same

(The Power of Resilience - Brooks & Goldstein)

I mean those are the components of a resilient person, i hazard to guess that resilience leads to happiness. And what if I told you all of those tenants are achievable?

 

[snafupants]

Let me try to describe the life of happy person with these 10 qualities. If any of you guys are following my meanderings you'll notice a theme :P

-Feeling in control of one's life
-Knowing how to fortify one's "stress hardiness"
-Being empathetic
-Displaying effective communication and other interpersonal capabilities
-Possessing solid problem-solving and decision-making skills
-Establishing realistic goals and expectations
-Learning from both success and failure
-Being a compassionate and contributing member of society
-Living a responsible life based on a set of thoughtful values
-Feeling special (not self-centered) while helping others to feel the same

(The Power of Resilience - Brooks & Goldstein)

I mean those are the components of a resilient person, i hazard to guess that resilience leads to happiness. And what if I told you all of those tenants are achievable?

Perhaps resilience unlocks or enables happiness in individuals predisposed to happiness.

 

[Fallenman]

I disagree. I don't think its a checklist that you go through every day. I think these are qualities that are learned. I think a lot of people take a lifetime to learn them all. But I think these are qualities that charismatic people have. Think of the people who are the most genuine and charismatic in your life. How do they behave?

There is a strategy to implementing these qualities, and all of them revolve around self-reflection. Sometimes the best way to do this is just to learn from other resilient people, because they teach you the questions you've never asked.

But I think that if you have a majority of these you will find sustainable happiness. Not passing happiness.

 

[Fallenman]

Mispost.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

"it is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied" — John Stuart Mill, Utilitarianism

^When it comes to happiness, the opposite applies.

 

[inner_mind]

The short answer.

Once you have satisfied the basics of life (adequete food, shelter etc)...

Then you choose to be.

Realise that:
Nothing is permenant.
Your present upset is not forever.
Your present joys are not forever (so enjoy them now).

It is okay to be happy. Even though the world is unfair.

Your upsets - can you change them? Then do it. If not - patience, it will pass. What does worry/dwelling achieve? Think it though, act or not, then move on.

It is lovely to have things. Just don't get attached to them or long for what you don't have.

Appreciate what you have. It is a lot.

Be present a lot of the time. Then you can enjoy yourself. The only real time is this very moment. I too spend a lot of time in my head, as you imagine. But I actively choose times to engage with the present and other times to let my mind wander. Engaging is good.

That is what I have been looking into through Buddhism. Take it or leave it. It has been good for me.

 

[Milo]

For me it is the following:

-Eating healthy (I eat a high fat, low carb diet)
-Taking vitamins (Especially vitamin D and maybe B-complex for energy)
-Exercising (I love biking!)
-Helping others
-Appreciating what I have
-Not thinking about the past
-Living in the present
-Reading
-Staying motivated
-Some form of socializing

It's been working so far!