Spent ten days in the mental hospital

[Black Rose]

they gave me a bunch of new meds.

buspirone
benztropine
divalproex
fluphenazine
atorvastatin
trazodone
hydroxyzine pam

 

[Rook]

what were your impressions of the institution?

 

[Black Rose]

schizophrenia is the disintegration of the system.
The boundaries between inside and outside become blurred.

The one thing I think is missed is trama.
Schizophrenia is mostly an urban phenomenon.
Disintegration is trama in isolation random signals.

The brain is meant to absorb the chaos of nature's silence.
self regulate or fall apart those are the choices.
trama is integrated or breaks things down.

it should be trama based schizophrenia

 

[Rook]

have you ever lived in the countryside?

 

[Black Rose]

have you ever lived in the countryside?

about for 2 months 2009

 

[Rook]

sheesh. ever consider life in a small town by the sea? sometimes i want that.

 

[onesteptwostep]

I also want to be a retired pokemon trainer living by the sea.

 

[Daddy]

I want to live on a giant solar catamaran with a few select people and live off the oceans and islands. fsociety, it's fucking toxic as hell.

But I'll never do it; I'm a rat trapped in a cage with too many rats and that never changes.

 

[Black Rose]

I've been listening to music in order to integrate my emotional / mental pain. I bury my feelings. am numb too much.

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

Can we at least like sponsor you a Crunchyroll subscription or you're not interested in anime? Just post a paypal link.

Do you have a computer or internet bandwidth to watch stuff?

 

[Black Rose]

Can we at least like sponsor you a Crunchyroll subscription or you're not interested in anime? Just post a paypal link.

Do you have a computer or internet bandwidth to watch stuff?

I watched lots of television in the mental hospital.
I also slept all day. Trama is buried deep inside. I forced my way through it.
Anything being forced Drains me. I am imbalanced.

neurosis, suppression of natural instincts.
entanglement is not simple.
It's noughted up.

that is why deep things need something more

 

[Black Rose]

something something bible verse about spiritual healing

 

[Black Rose]

I have a problem integrating visual and auditory stimuli. am shy too.

 

[Black Rose]

super ego sucks

 

[Black Rose]

An addiction is a cycle. An action produces a result reinforcing the action. The addiction is feeding off something. External or internal. Wireheading is a cyberpunk term for creating a pathway where no action is required for a reward. Serotonin is part of the process where homeostasis absorbs/retains itself. It keeps things balanced/regulated. Lack of serotonin is draining and creates a depression in the system. It is supposed to be a sink to dopamine.

The reinforcement of activities or the feeding off the self or external is mediated by sinks. The areas where dopamine and serotonin balance/activate. A chemical map of creativity. Drains and spouts.

Think of when something is in front of you and all that is in your mind is a blank space. This is a balance where nothing moves mentally. Mental movement is an imbalance wobble feedback between what is present and what is chemically blocked.

To get the wheels turning the sinks must be unblocked. They need to feed on something.

 

[Black Rose]

I tried not taking my pills for three days. The anxiety was so bad I was vomiting blood. The very day I started taking them again the vomiting stopped. The doctor says I have generalized anxiety disorder. seem really bad if I was puking blood.

 

[sushi]

sheesh. ever consider life in a small town by the sea? sometimes i want that.

i agree with this. City life and overcrowding is cause of many mental issues

 

[sushi]

you take meds because your brain lack of or have too much neural chemicals.

so if you want to off those meds you need to eat certain foods and diet that provide those neurochemicals.

 

[ZenRaiden]

me too