Something, something, sex.

[Yellow]

I was reading this old thread (in which most participants are now banned) and it got me wondering where we stand as a population. I wouldn't want to limit this to INTPs, because I'd like to think of the INTPf as it's own unique ecosystem, worth polling as a group.

So, some definitions.

Asexual: the lack of sexual attraction to anyone, or low or absent interest in sexual activity.

Demisexual: the lack of sexual attraction toward any person unless you become deeply emotionally or romantically connected.

Sexual: having a rate of sexual attraction and activity that is typical for your demographic. Very little incidences of risky sexual behavior.

Verysexual: (I made this one up because it felt like we were missing a ladder rung) higher than typical sexual drive for your demographic, but you still have full control over your behavior.

Hypersexual: sexual attraction and/or activity that borders on insatiability or addiction with a high incidence of sexually risky behavior and issues with self-control.

Also, please share which you chose and why

 

[Grayman]

Where is romantosexual?

 

[Bock]

Hard to say. There is some "decent" libido in me but it has never been "seeking"/externally active, compared to how the sea of extroverts/sensors/feelers etc act/behave. Also, my libido is chained to certain ideals that "somewhat" clashes with the zeitgeist. Neurotic perhaps...

tl;dr: if a girl grinds her ass against my crotch in da club, any attraction will instantly be drowned in "this girl grinds her ass on random mens crotches, also the music sucks, i wish i was home playing dark souls"

true story btw

 

[Yellow]

Where is romantosexual?

I don't know that one. Demisexual is related to romance, is that close enough? Oo. Looked it up. That looks like just plain old normal sexual.

 

[Grayman]

I don't know that one. Demisexual is related to romance, is that close enough?

Hey, I learn something everyday. Sounds good to me...too bad I clicked idk.

 

[Yellow]

Hey, I learn something everyday. Sounds good to me...too bad I clicked idk.

You know, this isn't the first time I've wished we had the option to change our votes. This is an INTP forum isn't it? We need a way to account for our indecisiveness.

 

[redbaron]

I actually couldn't define it accurately with such generalized definitions, although Demisexual is probably the closest to it since most of my attractions come unexpectedly. I don't usually feel sexually attracted to someone without an emotional connection first, so a lot of the time I'll converse with someone or slowly get to know them over a period of time and then eventually, depending on the person I become attracted to them.

So I can end up attracted to physically 'ugly' people and similarly repulsed by physically 'beautiful' people, dependent on how well we mesh in other areas. There's sometimes a small amount of physical attraction but it's very quickly overridden and replaced once interaction takes place.

 

[Jennywocky]

I would choose "I want to impregnate every one of you" a la alien brood mother, but... I can't. So I just need to pick "sexual." Sigh.

or maybe demisexual.

...I hate this poll!
[bimgx=400]https://thisismybipolarlife.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/15575593-lots-of-furious-people-protesting-a-group-of-people-protesting-protest-demonstrator-protest-man-demo.jpg[/bimgx]

 

[Pyropyro]

I would choose "I want to impregnate every one of you" a la alien brood mother, but... I can't. So I just need to pick "sexual." Sigh.

or maybe demisexual.

...I hate this poll!
[bimgx=400]https://thisismybipolarlife.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/15575593-lots-of-furious-people-protesting-a-group-of-people-protesting-protest-demonstrator-protest-man-demo.jpg[/bimgx]

Yeah! F*ck the poll!

Spoiler

After buying it gifts, chocolates and telling the poll how beautiful their eyes are and how you can see your children in them

Seriously though, I think I'm more asexual not out of lack of sexual interest but out of being conservative.

 

[Jennywocky]

Yeah! F*ck the poll!

Spoiler

After buying it gifts, chocolates and telling the poll how beautiful their eyes are and how you can see your children in them

Wow, if I were a poll, I'd be all over that like cows on yummy grass!

 

[StevenM]

Just normal sexual.

I want to see who voted.

 

[peoplesuck]

The seemingly asexual schizoid

 

[Sockrates]

I'll happily admit that I am demi. I'm not 100% animal, I am a human.

 

[Yellow]

I want to see who voted.

I thought about that, but I figured it had the potential to make things awkward.

 

[Jennywocky]

But how are we supposed to pick up someone?

 

[nanook]

attraction vs intimidation vs aversion

-aversion can be inspired by bad interaction but good interaction can overcome prejudice or grudges.

-attraction is technically constant but can disappear in the shadow.

-in my imagination i can remove the factor of intimidation and feel attracted to big animals, to quote rammstein. i guess everyone can. but not everyone is as frequently intimidated in real life.


so basically i'm confused between demisexual and "only attracted to porn"

because intimidation is such a big factor for me in real life, but not in fantasy.

i can look at girls in real life and experience way more fear than attraction.



i would guess that intp have more aversion but less intimidation than infp. because aversion is an Fe factor (it's relative to interaction/conflict of interest), intimidation is an Fi factor (it's relative to identity/familiarity/strangeness). aversion is when you want to tell somebody to fuck off. intimidation is, when you find nothing inside of you, that makes you approach someone and the logical part of your brain makes you wonder what is wrong with you.

 

[Enki]

I want to say I'm very sexual, but I've managed to prevent myself from having any kind of sexual relationship for almost a decade; this alone should make me fall under demi, but I decided to split the difference and choose normal.

Truth is I'd rather do science in the shed and build racecar(s) than put up with the normal relationship BS. It also helps that I recognize that I've got poor taste in women, and that my opinion can't be trusted in that regard.

 

[Yellow]

But how are we supposed to pick up someone?

Oh come on. There are so many options! You could shout, "Hey! Que pasa mami?" at every eligible man/woman who isn't in groping range; you could write your name and number under the "good time" category in bathroom stalls; or you could try the classic: put on a LBD, get really drunk, and carry a pair of expensive heels as you walk through the city barefoot and crying.

 

[Brontosaurie]

i believe about 97 % of people fall into the "normal" category of this, if they answer honestly.

asexuality is a reaaally cheap kind of cool. as is "nymphomania". get real ffs. just stop having so much clothes on and listening to sigur ros in bed or stop thinking leather is kinky for no reason at all and then problem solved. no it's not that simple but still. both extremes are huge identity factors.

not addressed to anyone in particular of course.

 

[Brontosaurie]

I want to say I'm very sexual, but I've managed to prevent myself from having any kind of sexual relationship for almost a decade; this alone should make me fall under demi, but I decided to split the difference and choose normal.

Truth is I'd rather do science in the shed and build racecar(s) than put up with the normal relationship BS. It also helps that I recognize that I've got poor taste in women, and that my opinion can't be trusted in that regard.

how do you mean poor taste in women?

 

[Enki]

how do you mean poor taste in women?

The word "easy" comes to mind; I don't tolerate cheating even a little.
It's probably my fault, but a complete lack of communication on their end certainly isn't.

 

[Brontosaurie]

The word "easy" comes to mind; I don't tolerate cheating even a little.
It's probably my fault, but a complete lack of communication on their end certainly isn't.

easy? that just covers one variable or one small cluster of factors. how about other qualities in personality as well as looks? seems harsh to evaluate your tastes and your previous partners in terms of promiscuity only. maybe your definition is wider.

 

[Grayman]

The word "easy" comes to mind; I don't tolerate cheating even a little.
It's probably my fault, but a complete lack of communication on their end certainly isn't.

It is unusual for a woman to not state their dissatisfaction and do so as a laundry list. There are the rarities but in most cases men just don't hear when things are really bad because they have gone deaf to the irritating buzzing noise. People have a hard time focusing on the real issues and so everyone is confused or oblivious to any solutions.

 

[Fukyo]

how do you mean poor taste in women?

Lack of soul eyes and plump cheeks, as well as miserable WHRs

 

[Brontosaurie]

Lack of soul eyes and plump cheeks, as well as miserable WHRs

that's one sort of poor taste in women, not the only one though.

 

[Enki]

Mildly sex related example:

Asked out by a girl (the words boyfriend/girlfriend were used), went on a couple dates over the course of a week or two. Hear from a friend that she was making out with someone else (he saw it first hand). Calmly asked her if it was true, and she said it was. No apology, didn't even see why it was an issue. She didn't even know the guys name.


Non sexually related example:
Had a girlfriend of about a month, she called up and wanted to go out to catch a movie. Informed her I had literally zero money/credit, and would be going hungry until next payday. Met her at the theater (car on fumes, wasn't sure I'd make it home), and she looks at me to pay when our turn is up to buy tickets. I remind her gently that I don't have money, as stated before on the phone. She gets angry, buys the tickets and a drink/popcorn for herself and sits a seat away from me, angrily watches the movie. After, she leaves without a word and breaks up with me via email after a couple of days.

There are other stories, much harsher ones, but I really don't care to discuss them.

 

[Grayman]

Reposting

 

[TheManBeyond]

I sleep face down semi-levitating.

 

[Grayman]

@enki Its a communication issue alright. Never assume someone is offering to buy your ticket. They must specifically offer buy it. At this point you must refuse their offer saying you ddon't want to use their money. They say, no no, its okay And you say, "Really? I feel bad." At this point you have removed any fears in the woman about being used since she had to force you to accept he money. At this point you thank her and say how it is a huge relief considering your position with you current finances. She feels all happy and helpful like she did a good thing and wants to hold your arm at the movies.

Excuse my typing, on phone right now.

 

[Fukyo]

that's one sort of poor taste in women, not the only one though.

What exactly are soul eyes btw?

 

[Brontosaurie]

What exactly are soul eyes btw?

i don't know, don't have the correct words to explain it so i just went with some reasonably adequate descriptor.

but i know what it is :$

 

[Jennywocky]

I sleep face down semi-levitating.

That makes it much easier to change the sheets without having to wake you up.

 

[QuickTwist]

SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX FUCK SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX .

 

[Alomoes]

Probably Demi-Sexual, but really, I don't know. I don't give a crap about it in either direction.

But if I were, it'd be when I was ready to raise kids.

Sorry to polute the poll, I'm an INFJ. But, it seems that it's quite ok.

 

[Alomoes]

Mildly sex related example:

Asked out by a girl (the words boyfriend/girlfriend were used), went on a couple dates over the course of a week or two. Hear from a friend that she was making out with someone else (he saw it first hand). Calmly asked her if it was true, and she said it was. No apology, didn't even see why it was an issue. She didn't even know the guys name.


Non sexually related example:
Had a girlfriend of about a month, she called up and wanted to go out to catch a movie. Informed her I had literally zero money/credit, and would be going hungry until next payday. Met her at the theater (car on fumes, wasn't sure I'd make it home), and she looks at me to pay when our turn is up to buy tickets. I remind her gently that I don't have money, as stated before on the phone. She gets angry, buys the tickets and a drink/popcorn for herself and sits a seat away from me, angrily watches the movie. After, she leaves without a word and breaks up with me via email after a couple of days.

There are other stories, much harsher ones, but I really don't care to discuss them.

Sorry for the double post, but that sucks.

 

[Yellow]

What exactly are soul eyes btw?

Here you go.

 

[Pyropyro]

Here you go.

You need to get that eye fixed.

 

[Auburn]

What exactly are soul eyes btw?

Wait, I thought you were the one who brought up the eyes first...

p.s. Shiki has soul eyes. o.o


@Yellow - I see sexuality as a morphing, convoluted thing that is intertwined with the contours of the rest of our psyche. Dismantling a certain complex can shift a previously asexual person into a very sexual one. Coming to embrace the other sex within yourself can lead to more receptiveness to the beauty in both sexes, hence bi...

There's some of it that's nature... such as natural hormone levels in a person's physiology, but due to culture, self-image, upbringing, etc... we shape our sexuality to fit or oppose the situation (whichever is necessary). It's hard to tell what your body has disallowed, or developed a repulsion against, due to blockades.

Underneath I think most humans are quite freely sexual, but also equally freely jealous. Meaning the human equation trips over itself.

 

[Fukyo]

I was referring to this post

edit: auburn is editing or deleting his post again <.<

 

[TheScornedReflex]

Here you go.

That pic is seriously sexy.

Oh, it didn't quote the pic.

 

[Pyropyro]

That pic is seriously sexy.

Oh, it didn't quote the pic.

Fixed that for you.

 

[Lot]

I have high sex drive, but not enough confidence to act on it. I'm having trouble getting over the fact that male sexuality isn't always predatory and creepy. I feel predatory and creepy when I express sexuality.

 

[Yellow]

I have high sex drive, but not enough confidence to act on it. I'm having trouble getting over the fact that male sexuality isn't always predatory and creepy. I feel predatory and creepy when I express sexuality.

I never thought of that. I mean, I've heard men expressing similar sentiments, but it never really sunk in until now. Doesn't online dating help relieve the stress of this a little?

 

[Lot]

I never thought of that. I mean, I've heard men expressing similar sentiments, but it never really sunk in until now. Doesn't online dating help relieve the stress of this a little?

Not really. In some cases it makes me feel even worse. Although, date sites and such are hard for me to get into, because I feel like a loser, because I live with my parents. If things went well, I wouldn't know where to go. If I could even muster up the courage, sober, to do so. It's more than that, but if I knew those answers, I might be able to find my way through.

Probably a big part of why this last year of me trying to lose my virginity has been failure after failure, then ending with a misleading let down. I think I have less confidence than I did when I started this whole thing. Stupid left over christian guilt, and cult brainwashing.

..But enough about my lack of confidence and poor life choices

 

[QuickTwist]

Solution: hit on every chick you meet: there are bond to be some that would sleep with you...

 

[Lot]

Solution: hit on every chick you meet: there are bond to be some that would sleep with you...

Thoughtless and mostly meaningless advice.

 

[Enki]

Thoughtless and mostly meaningless advice.

Yet saddening to know that statistically it is true.

 

[QuickTwist]

The more chicks you just be like "what up?!" to the better your chances... It true.

 

[Pyropyro]

Solution: hit on every chick you meet: there are bond to be some that would sleep with you...

Instructions unclear, ended up with this:

[bimgx=250]http://morninggloryfarm.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/chicks-in-a-box.bmp[/bimgx]

Too noisy and smelly to sleep with too.

 

[QuickTwist]

OK, I clarify: Say, "hey girl, how you doin'? You look good today." to every female roughly around the same age that you are... one is bound to want to start a conversation with you, and then you got it made.