Social Phobia

[Thales]

I've probably stated before that I have severe social phobia. As an example, when registering for college, I signed up for college classes, citing temporary transportation issues as my reason. I honestly don't know how to get over this behavioral...monstrosity that has taken over. I feel utterly powerless, it gets worse with each passing year. I have very tenuous social relationships.

It feels likes this phobia frames whatever social narrative I find myself in, it steers the ship, so to speak. But, it seems like I'm navigating this ship through some foggy netherworld or something! Sorry for the wordiness, bordering on the pedantic, however I have no idea what to do to start changing. Whenever I'm socially intimidated by a situation, I shut down and I know I get perceived as strange. I act pretty robotic but what's boiling down there beneath the surface is anything but. Suggestions?

 

[Dimensional Transition]

Why are you afraid of people/interactions with people? What are the thoughts that go through your head when in a social situation?

I also have a bit social phobia, more as a result from a Generalized Anxiety Disorder that floats to the surface occasionally though.

 

[Thales]

I'm afraid of hidden judgements from others, examples of types of thoughts are "I'm inadequate, boring" etc. Things of that nature. Sorry to hear about your anxiety as well.

 

[Iuanes]

I don't know. Do one small thing at a time. Write it down before hand. Even if it goes badly at least you did it. Everybody judges and everybody is inadequate in some way.

 

[Meer]

I think it's important to have confidence in other people's insecurities. Probably especially the more gregarious of people. I'm not sure if that's helpful at all, and I'm not sure what the best course of action is. I like to hide with masks and distance.

At the same time, most people are generally okay, probably especially those who are worth being around? I'm just rambling.

 

[Dimensional Transition]

I'm afraid of hidden judgements from others, examples of types of thoughts are "I'm inadequate, boring" etc. Things of that nature. Sorry to hear about your anxiety as well.

Yeah, I feel the same way. A lot of people say 'just don't give a fuck, you are who you are!' but obviously, that doesn't help too much.

I don't really have a solution yet either, but I'll be following this thread.

 

[thoumyvision]

Here's an excellent post explaining Dominant-Tertiary loops, I've quoted the portion particular to the INTP below.

Dominant/Tertiary Loops and Common Personality Disorders

INTP/ISFJ: Ti/Si or Si/Ti--Schizotypal Personality Disorder. I see this most commonly in INTP dom/tert loops (Ti+Si), resulting in totally giving up on attempting to obtain the social/interpersonal connections that inferior Fe drives them to unconsciously desire. Schizotypal people are seen (and typically see themselves) as having such unusual thoughts and behaviors that widespread social acceptance is nearly impossible. Ti thinks, "I cannot find any logical explanation for social rituals" and Si reinforces this self-isolating, risk-averse behavior by constantly reminding the user: "Remember how badly this went last time you tried?" If Ne were doing its job, it would remind the user to continue experimenting to find a new approach. In the ISFJ version, Si becomes ultra risk-averse and refuses to try anything new or unfamiliar. If Fe were doing its job, the ISFJ would learn that some risk is necessary in order to uphold obligations to others and avoid living in total solitude. Deep down, these types really do want social connection and ritual (Fe), but have found themselves so poor at it that they simply give up trying.

Please note that being schizotypal and having schizophrenia are two different things.

 

[Dimensional Transition]

I don't think having a social phobia is the same as being schizotypal... Is it?

According to wikipedia, these are symptoms of schizotypy:
-Inappropriate or constricted affect (the individual appears cold and aloof);
-Behaviour or appearance that is odd, eccentric, or peculiar;
-Poor rapport with others and a tendency to social withdrawal;
-Odd beliefs or magical thinking, influencing behaviour and inconsistent with subcultural norms;
-Suspiciousness or paranoid ideas;
-Obsessive ruminations without inner resistance, often with dysmorphophobic, sexual or aggressive contents;
-Unusual perceptual experiences including somatosensory (bodily) or other illusions, depersonalization or derealization;
-Vague, circumstantial, metaphorical, overelaborate, or stereotyped thinking, manifested by odd speech or in other ways, without gross incoherence;
-Occasional transient quasi-psychotic episodes with intense illusions, auditory or other hallucinations, and delusion-like ideas, usually occurring without external provocation.

I highlighted the things I can recognize in myself. I can only seem to identify with the more 'harmless' symptoms, so I don't think I'm schizotypal... Although... Now I'm actually getting worried.
I only act cold and aloof towards my mother. I know I shouldn't, but everything she does is predictable, she storms into my room out of nowhere quite often and distracts me from whatever I was doing with random chatter about stuff I don't give a damn about. This is the only person I feel like I'm acting cold towards, though. Should a schizotypal person act cold and aloof to everyone?

 

[Thales]

Here's an excellent post explaining Dominant-Tertiary loops, I've quoted the portion particular to the INTP below.

Dominant/Tertiary Loops and Common Personality Disorders



Please note that being schizotypal and having schizophrenia are two different things.

Interesting. So, aside from the INTP connection, what makes you think I have schizotypal.

And yes, there is a quite sizeable distinction between social anxiety and schizotypal.

 

[thoumyvision]

Interesting. So, aside from the INTP connection, what makes you think I have schizotypal.

And yes, there is a quite sizeable distinction between social anxiety and schizotypal.

I don't know enough about you to make any sort of diagnosis, and I'm not a psychiatrist, so neither am I qualified to. However, I can look back at times in my life when I realize past bad social experiences were negatively affecting my drive to seek new social bonds. This is exactly what happens when we (INTPs) start trusting stored data of past experiences (Si), instead of gathering and analyzing new data taken from external sources (Ne). You as an INTP are an analyst. Stop and analyze for a second, are you stuck analyzing yourself and the bad social experiences you've had? Might things change if you turn your focus outward and analyze your new environment and the new people in it?

 

[Smooch]

Here's an excellent post explaining Dominant-Tertiary loops, I've quoted the portion particular to the INTP below.

Dominant/Tertiary Loops and Common Personality Disorders

Hey, thank you for posting this. I can relate. I don't have social phobia but I have found myself giving up on nearly all relationships lately, wanting to be a hermit. This helps explain it a bit better.

So we're supposed to try different approaches. I don't really know where to start with that one.


@DT -I identify with that list you've posted there. As far as your mother goes, perhaps it's just your age. You are a teenager after all. I used to act very cold towards my parents just a few years ago. It's weird. After I got out of high school that all changed.

IDK. I think I'm rambling.

So you say you don't act this way around peers/friends, but you do have some type of social anxiety? How do you think you act towards them?

 

[Thales]

I don't know enough about you to make any sort of diagnosis, and I'm not a psychiatrist, so neither am I qualified to. However, I can look back at times in my life when I realize past bad social experiences were negatively affecting my drive to seek new social bonds. This is exactly what happens when we (INTPs) start trusting stored data of past experiences (Si), instead of gathering and analyzing new data taken from external sources (Ne). You as an INTP are an analyst. Stop and analyze for a second, are you stuck analyzing yourself and the bad social experiences you've had? Might things change if you turn your focus outward and analyze your new environment and the new people in it?

Funny you bring up the "getting stuck in analyzing behavior" thing, the therapist I visited said something on one of our last meetings that was very similar to this. He commented "I think you spend your life analyzing it instead of living it" Much of my issues, I think, stem from social isolation and being around a domineering and condescending father, and with no social network (at the time) that wasn't anything to contradict those messages. Well, the social anxieties mutliplied from there. I could somewhat see things changing if I focused outward and had more of a rich social tapestry (don't worry I don't talk that way in RL for the most part!).

 

[SilentRobert23]

I'm afraid of hidden judgements from others, examples of types of thoughts are "I'm inadequate, boring" etc. Things of that nature. Sorry to hear about your anxiety as well.

Social anxiety disorder. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety_disorder

I've found the best way to cope with it is to accept that my opinions are more right than those around me because solipsism. Just because solipsism.

 

[RobertJ]

I'm afraid of hidden judgements from others, examples of types of thoughts are "I'm inadequate, boring" etc. Things of that nature. Sorry to hear about your anxiety as well.

I'm very much in tune with you on this. People terrify me for this reason of how I suspect they might - and by means of possible paranoid delusion, I suspect probably do - perceive me. This could have something to do with a sense of personal alienation which has stifled a more natural connection with environments so that there is a divide between what is presented and what is actually thought/felt. Of course, everyone probably has this to some capacity, but have reconciled (or compromised, or medicated) to the point of being functional within society.

Why be so concerned about how others may possibly perceive us, though? Well, for me it's something akin to stepping in front of a camera during the filming of scenes in which I don't belong. Regret and disgust typically follow up any sort of personal exposure; particularly that which is even slightly humiliating. For weeks or even years, memories may etch themselves into my conscience and flow over from time to time in momentary episodes.

Here's an excellent post explaining Dominant-Tertiary loops, I've quoted the portion particular to the INTP below.

Dominant/Tertiary Loops and Common Personality Disorders

Thank you, sir. That was enlightening, and likely renders whatever I have to say largely irrelevant. But dammit, you guys are my friends and I want to talk about it.

 

[Awesome_Person]

Try being a natural ENTP with social phobia. Im a walking contradiction.

Check out avoidant personality disorder and selective mutism as well, the are more severe forms. I believe i may have avpd.

And i cam totally relate with you with school. Its so difficult living with this. I had this douch advisor last year, my first year, who would insult me to my face because he didnt like me. He was also my history professor, and gave me an F for participation, because i didnt speak up enough in class. Whenevr i talked, hed just shoot me down...ugh

 

[Fallenman]

In my opinion I think this is something you just naturally overcome through experiencing things. The paradox or catch-22 if you will is that you are afraid to do exactly what would help you. Ive been through it and I'm currently going through a long string of rejections from girls that is stifling my desire to even give them a shot anymore lol but the thing is never to throw in the towel. Harder said than done. In an attempt to be constructive though, I would suggest joining groups and organizations and having a peer you can talk to and reflect about certain social interactions. I've noticed that getting perspective from others has often illuminated things for me in quite significant ways. It helps ground your outlook. The only thing i can think of that explains why I overcame these social anxieties is that over the years as I gained more and more friends with different personalities and attitudes I had a larger understanding of people and they became less and less mythical. Experience is key.

 

[Fallenman]

Oh and be open and polite. It's a social experiment, so there's no need to be obtuse.

 

[Awesome_Person]

Oh ya, the last post reminded me. Theres a huge community of people who talk all about this stuff on a social phobia forum. I think you should check it out. Its socialanxietysupport.com check it out

 

[GYX_Kid]

You could keep being naturally a robot until you warm up. It's just another muscle to work.

I've been in positions where I had to present myself in some way, and I judged myself in that context as [not good] in some way, and then when interacting with people later got the overall vibe that they thought I was awesome. Ji exists.

 

[Dimensional Transition]

Funny you bring up the "getting stuck in analyzing behavior" thing, the therapist I visited said something on one of our last meetings that was very similar to this. He commented "I think you spend your life analyzing it instead of living it" Much of my issues, I think, stem from social isolation and being around a domineering and condescending father, and with no social network (at the time) that wasn't anything to contradict those messages. Well, the social anxieties mutliplied from there. I could somewhat see things changing if I focused outward and had more of a rich social tapestry (don't worry I don't talk that way in RL for the most part!).

I think this is a trap for many INTPs. To me, life feels like a crazy dream I'm just following, just seeing what happens.

So we're supposed to try different approaches. I don't really know where to start with that one.


@DT -I identify with that list you've posted there. As far as your mother goes, perhaps it's just your age. You are a teenager after all. I used to act very cold towards my parents just a few years ago. It's weird. After I got out of high school that all changed.

IDK. I think I'm rambling.

So you say you don't act this way around peers/friends, but you do have some type of social anxiety? How do you think you act towards them?

Yeah, you should just try meeting new people. That's the new approach, instead of assuming they're going to judge you 'anyways'.

It probably is my age hm? It's inexplicable, but whenever my mother does something around me, I just feel extremely annoyed. There's no reason for it, it's just ridiculous. I don't have it with my father really, well maybe a little. I've been thinking it might be a natural instinct wanting me to move out, get a home, and start a family myself. (In the prehistoric sense... I would be strongest between 16-22 or so, right?)

@Fallenman:
Having one or two really close friends helps a lot, indeed. I find that ever since I've gotten less afraid to share my problems with people close to me, I've gotten less anxious and sad. Others really can give you a new perspective on things.

 

[Thales]

I'm very much in tune with you on this. People terrify me for this reason of how I suspect they might - and by means of possible paranoid delusion, I suspect probably do - perceive me. This could have something to do with a sense of personal alienation which has stifled a more natural connection with environments so that there is a divide between what is presented and what is actually thought/felt. Of course, everyone probably has this to some capacity, but have reconciled (or compromised, or medicated) to the point of being functional within society.

Why be so concerned about how others may possibly perceive us, though? Well, for me it's something akin to stepping in front of a camera during the filming of scenes in which I don't belong. Regret and disgust typically follow up any sort of personal exposure; particularly that which is even slightly humiliating. For weeks or even years, memories may etch themselves into my conscience and flow over from time to time in momentary episodes.



Thank you, sir. That was enlightening, and likely renders whatever I have to say largely irrelevant. But dammit, you guys are my friends and I want to talk about it.

"filming of scenes in which I don't belong" that brilliantly sums up how I feel about my social anxiety! Being outgoing, positive, normal, just seems so aberrant for me, I've always thought I didn't belong, that I would be inconviencing others with my presence, but I think it's largely my thought process that would compel others to dislike me. At my former job, there were supposedly widespread complaints that I was too negative, avoided others, etc. The fear was just so intense, I could only socialize with a select few, and I'm willing to bet they caught on to how weird I was, even though I somewhat keep in contact with them after I left that job.

I guess I'll have to wait until they refine optogenetics for there to be a cure for this rather crappy illness.

 

[BigApplePi]

Funny you bring up the "getting stuck in analyzing behavior" thing, the therapist I visited said something on one of our last meetings that was very similar to this. He commented "I think you spend your life analyzing it instead of living it" Much of my issues, I think, stem from social isolation and being around a domineering and condescending father, and with no social network (at the time) that wasn't anything to contradict those messages. Well, the social anxieties mutliplied from there. I could somewhat see things changing if I focused outward and had more of a rich social tapestry (don't worry I don't talk that way in RL for the most part!).

Thales. Here. You just said something about "a domineering and condescending father." That would create a sub par self-esteem issue if your father were to be believed. The outside world has mostly people who aren't like that. Hang out with those. I grew up with terrible social anxiety but the reason was I didn't know how to behave and didn't know people. I learned to socialize with those who had some common interest with me. I still have social anxiety if I'm not sure how to relate in the situation. Solution: stay quiet. Thales, would I like to meet you if that were a real thing? What is your opinion?

 

[Thales]

Well, from my perspective he was domineering and condescending, and it would seem logical to me that it would create sub par self-esteem. In the end though I can only blame my own susceptibilities to being influenced by that behavior. It's a very good suggestion to hang out with people that act the opposite. However, I do feel like my ingrained patterns poison my relationships with other people, as they see to the core of low self-esteem and anxiety, this raw fear and insecurity. But, I think I have made a large step, and that is moving out of my parent's house, thereby severely dampening their influence.

Sorry, I don't know how to interpret that last line. What do you mean by "if that were a real thing"?

 

[xbox]

I think my social phobia was a lot worse in middle school/high school years.
I dont know, being forced to do class presentations kinda helped, but not really.
I still dont enjoy social situations but I think I learned to suppress that inner being that makes me nervous and tells me to gtfo, i.e., work/school functions and whatever else.
It really depends when/where I listen to those damn voices in my head.

 

[brieze]

My boyfriend has severe social phobia as well. I do all the crowd stuff- which actually works because I don't mind being alone. Example though, he had to leave my mom's memorial halfway through because he started having a panic attack. I was so proud of him for even coming, I know it was hard for him. He was shaking before we left.

 

[BigApplePi]

Well, from my perspective he was domineering and condescending, and it would seem logical to me that it would create sub par self-esteem. In the end though I can only blame my own susceptibilities to being influenced by that behavior. It's a very good suggestion to hang out with people that act the opposite. However, I do feel like my ingrained patterns poison my relationships with other people, as they see to the core of low self-esteem and anxiety, this raw fear and insecurity. But, I think I have made a large step, and that is moving out of my parent's house, thereby severely dampening their influence.

Sorry, I don't know how to interpret that last line. What do you mean by "if that were a real thing"?

Thales, just to tell a story, I meet every month with my Retirement Group. There are only three of us. We talk about anything. I was feeling a little down and said to them, "I really have no friends." Almost immediately both of them picked up on that and reassured me each was my friend. I learned from that that I could feel one way in the moment and others can feel another way entirely. (I said feel, not think. I wasn't trying to be objective.)

You asked me about, "Thales, would I like to meet you if that were a real thing? What is your opinion." I meant we aren't likely to meet in real life. I was trying to check out if your socio-phobia would stop you about meeting me if it were real life or if you would go ahead and try it. (I hadn't said it well.)

I think it great you moved out of your parents house. This is a step to shaking you up and expanding. You will lose the comfort of security, but gain experiences that will broaden you ... much needed for anyone.

 

[Thales]

That's a good point, about how you and someone else can have vastly different perspectives of a situation.

Would my social phobia stop me from meeting you in RL?, well since I have no idea who you are and would most likely treat you how I treat everyone else in RL I regard as a stranger (I have no idea what you look like after all so I wouldn't make the connection between you and your forum identity obviously), it would probably prevent me from meeting you.

Actually, if you want an extreme example, my sister and I don't have a close relationship, although I should know her much, much better than a stranger, however I still have tremendous anxiety when we greet each other again. Oddly though, last time I didn't have that much anxiousness.

Yes, I am hoping this moving out will severe my parent's plan to influence me, they are well meaning most of the time I suppose, they just don't understand if you hound someone and invalidate their opinion for your own, no matter how well meaning, the person will have a very hard time growing up to be well-rounded mentally.

Ah, but again this boils down to my fault, my sister was antithetical to me when it came to getting her independence, time-wise. I should have been stronger, I'm gaining some of that now though, but it is hard.

 

[BigApplePi]

That's a good point, about how you and someone else can have vastly different perspectives of a situation.

Would my social phobia stop me from meeting you in RL?, well since I have no idea who you are and would most likely treat you how I treat everyone else in RL I regard as a stranger (I have no idea what you look like after all so I wouldn't make the connection between you and your forum identity obviously), it would probably prevent me from meeting you.

Actually, if you want an extreme example, my sister and I don't have a close relationship, although I should know her much, much better than a stranger, however I still have tremendous anxiety when we greet each other again. Oddly though, last time I didn't have that much anxiousness.

Yes, I am hoping this moving out will severe my parent's plan to influence me, they are well meaning most of the time I suppose, they just don't understand if you hound someone and invalidate their opinion for your own, no matter how well meaning, the person will have a very hard time growing up to be well-rounded mentally.

Ah, but again this boils down to my fault, my sister was antithetical to me when it came to getting her independence, time-wise. I should have been stronger, I'm gaining some of that now though, but it is hard.

Thales, by coincidence my sister is visiting me here at my house here in New York for a week. My object is to let her relax and talk to her about what is going on here. She tells me what she is doing. I don't think in terms of "closeness", but we don't seem to have much in the way of animosity. (We would fight a lot as kids but that's gone now.) Do I have any social anxiety with her in this case? Not particularly as long as we are getting along. If we disagree on something, we'll argue it out I suppose.

I'm going to guess social fear or anxiety comes from unpredictability and any subsequent danger. Know the situation and anxiety goes away. That takes experience. Experience is a big player. Read and talking about social situations ahead of time provides a substitute for the actual experience. Think of knowing how to swim. You can learn a lot about it by reading and watching and still feel a phobia. Nothing beats the fullness of the real experience. Once one "makes friends" with it, the fear goes away, but not before.

 

[Smooch]

I think this is a trap for many INTPs. To me, life feels like a crazy dream I'm just following, just seeing what happens.



Yeah, you should just try meeting new people. That's the new approach, instead of assuming they're going to judge you 'anyways'.

It probably is my age hm? It's inexplicable, but whenever my mother does something around me, I just feel extremely annoyed. There's no reason for it, it's just ridiculous. I don't have it with my father really, well maybe a little. I've been thinking it might be a natural instinct wanting me to move out, get a home, and start a family myself. (In the prehistoric sense... I would be strongest between 16-22 or so, right?)

....And I used to feel like that with my father mostly.
Weird.

 

[Dimensional Transition]

....And I used to feel like that with my father mostly.
Weird.

You're only one year older than me, right? How did that feeling go away? It's really inexplicable.

 

[dark]

Lately a friend helped me to realize my own problem that is similar to this so I will TRY to give a short explanation of it.

I am an ENTP. I have some odd ability to look at things and know how they work, I rebuild my car this way, and many other things. Ever since I was a child, everyone that knew me, knew this about me. So all kinds of odd old artifacts people from Kentucky would find in the fields were brought to me to tell them what this never before seen object was for. They always ended up being some farming equipment that I soon explained to them how it worked. The coolest item I explained was a probably never produced, and looked like a prototype of some inspiring inventor, all it did was clean beans, quickly and with one tool. I can explain more but I think the idea is understood.

A friend told me that I had an ability to understand and fix things and that when it came to people, I could understand them, but I wasn't able to fix them, he said it, despite my reasoning, was the true reason I'd become depressed and isolated myself. After contemplating it, I believe he is right. It had an even longer back-story to why and how he discovered this about me, so I'll leave it out.

Anyways. Your problem is probably not like mine, but I am very sure it has a reason, something about you, and something that has happened in your life. You will most likely not know what it is, but someone else may know.

To me I had the problem that I felt I failed these people for various reasons. I wasn't able to fix them. I didn't realize this myself. A specific person in my life a few years ago caused it to turn into a protector complex, which I've now rid myself of, I hope. It wasn't that I tried to fix people, there was just something that told me, I wasn't able to. In hindsight, it was a brilliant decision NOT to go into psychology or become a doctor on my part even though it pissed off a lot of people for me not doing so.

I am not sure this will help directly, but maybe someone reading it will be able to think of something that could possibly help you.

 

[Thales]

Thales, by coincidence my sister is visiting me here at my house here in New York for a week. My object is to let her relax and talk to her about what is going on here. She tells me what she is doing. I don't think in terms of "closeness", but we don't seem to have much in the way of animosity. (We would fight a lot as kids but that's gone now.) Do I have any social anxiety with her in this case? Not particularly as long as we are getting along. If we disagree on something, we'll argue it out I suppose.

I'm going to guess social fear or anxiety comes from unpredictability and any subsequent danger. Know the situation and anxiety goes away. That takes experience. Experience is a big player. Read and talking about social situations ahead of time provides a substitute for the actual experience. Think of knowing how to swim. You can learn a lot about it by reading and watching and still feel a phobia. Nothing beats the fullness of the real experience. Once one "makes friends" with it, the fear goes away, but not before.

BigApplePi,

I know what you're saying. I just don't know how to get that experience without making a fool out of myself, perhaps I just need to be comfortable with making a fool out of myself? There's always that crippling fear of saying something awkward or stupid I can't seem to get past. Maybe I need to be on medication or something.

 

[BigApplePi]

BigApplePi,

I know what you're saying. I just don't know how to get that experience without making a fool out of myself, perhaps I just need to be comfortable with making a fool out of myself? There's always that crippling fear of saying something awkward or stupid I can't seem to get past. Maybe I need to be on medication or something.

It's called RISK. Risk over safety. The risk doesn't have to be extreme. Just trying something where safety isn't certain. Unpredictability is another term coming to mind. Let's see if I can think of how to go about this. Not sure.

Let's say you are at a party and you see a number of girls. One is talking to a group of guys. She is the center of attention. Another girl is standing alone. A wallflower. We judge her an introvert. Now which one is the one where you risk the least making a fool of yourself? Answer: without knowing anything else, the wallflower. Yet there is risk. The popular girl may see you, have known all the other guys, thought you were cute and wanted to meet you. The wallflower could be waiting for her boyfriend and if you approach her the least bit awkwardly tell you to get lost. You don't know, but the wallflower is still the best approach.

If I took the time to find a post of mine, I would show you where I made a fool of myself. I told the story so well another poster said he felt sorry for me, lol. Not sure where I made it.

 

[Thales]

I get the whole risk thing,..much of the time I can't bring myself to do it, or when I do I probably come across so awkwardly that I've perceived the person I've talked to as feeling awkward. I'm semi-convinced I have Avoidant Personality Disorder, while that might just be a fancy way of saying I have a character flaw, I feel it's a pattern that must be hard fought to be overcome. But, I feel like my anxiety is dampening somewhat since I've been out on my own, to some degree and the benefits are a little erratic. Risk taking at least some of the time is the only way to lead a decent life, I know. Perhaps I should try medication to help me get out of this pattern.

I've also noticed a negative pattern of when someone attempts to help me, I disagree with their notions as I can't fit their model of me into my own. I'm trying hard to work on this, but it is very difficult.

 

[Reluctantly]

You could try dressing in drag and going out in public. If you can get used to that I bet you could get used to anything.

 

[Artsu Tharaz]

In light of this, I'd say it's a malfunctioning self-preservation mechanism.