I have not been sleeping very well for the past few weeks so as a result my posts/ general outlook on life have been very negative, even more than usual for me. I have lost a lot of friends over the past year because I just keep accumulating more and more negativity and the lack of friends to hang out with more than once a month can only make this problem worse.
I can relate to the friend dropping. To be honest, I get bored with most people after a period of time and most people are tiring to me. This is something that a lot of INTPs run into. You generally aren't going to find a friend that fits all your eccentric interests, so all you can do is get to know yourself and what YOU want, and then find friends that have some of your interests. Then learn to not be judgmental of these friends when they aren't into EVERYTHING that you are. Just take them for who they are, and enjoy what you can enjoy together with them. This way, at least you can get some social interaction when you do feel lonely. Being successful socially requires some compromise and lack of judgement that many perfectionist INTPs may not come to realize in life until much later than most people. Basically, we have to learn to appreciate the little things about others in our social situations.
I'm hoping that when college starts up again for me in 2 weeks I can meet some new friends and be somewhat busy but in the meantime that does nothing for me today/at the present moment.
The best thing you can do is to not make it a requirement to have others around to satisfy yourself. If you can come up with hobbies that satisfy you that are interesting to you, you will attract others who are interested in these things. Many people are closed minded, so you've got to ignore their negative judgments regarding your activities, and seek out others who have a positive viewpoint on what you are in to.
Even nicer still would be a nice female that would be kind enough to let me take out a bit of sexual frustration but this is an undesirable prospect as I must come off as quite intimidating and unstable. I haven't been able to live on my own in years. It doesn't help that I haven't been able to get a job for months.
It's better to get your life straight first, get yourself to be truly independent, before worrying about females. To find a healthy relationship, you're going to have to get yourself to be healthy. A woman isn't going to do it for you. You've got to get your act together, and then you will attract women who have their act together.
I try to get physical exercise sometimes but its hard for me to want to go outside in 80 degree+ and high humidity. The only exercise I like to do is walking or running so I guess its my fault for being so closed minded about this.
There are a lot of exercises you can do indoors. Seek those out. That's what I do.
I spend so much of my effort trying to not project myself to the outside world as a negative person but it always backfires and I get depressed or pissed off and doing just that anyways.
If you over-think things or take too much effort focusing on this kind of thing, it will generally backfire, as it creates a kind of tunnel vision and too many thoughts in your head. The best you can do it work on developing confidence in yourself that isn't based on others' perceptions of you.
It doesn't help that it seems like alcohol is at the core of 90% of social interactions for people in their mid-20s.
All you can do is seek out the 10% who aren't. Wouldn't you say that those 90% aren't worth your time, anyway?
I find myself hating people more and more everyday. I don't know if its because deep down I just hate myself or if its just a bunch of bad past experiences combined with my bleak outlook on the world, lack of an outlet for me, and my extremely rare personality type.
It isn't other people's fault, as your own life isn't under their control. You control your life, and it is up to you to make the modifications in yourself if you want to be successful with them. For me, I don't want to be successful with most of them. The more I get to know myself, the more I know the kind of people who I do want to be successful with, and I try to make self-improvements in myself to better relate with those types of people.
I feel like a lost cause and I hate not being able to overcome my extreme introvertedness anymore.
Introvertedness isn't by itself a bad thing. You have to learn to accept that you find yourself more at ease by yourself most of them time. But even introverts need some social interaction sometime, and for that, all you can do is work on improving your social skills for the situations that require it. Being negative isn't going to get you anywhere socially.
I used to be better at it before I had too many bad experiences with people/ negative treatment by people.
That was individual people. Don't let that sour your perception of all people. Most people don't care one way or the other about you. If you treat them well, and they aren't assholes, they'll treat you well right back.
It seems like people are always looking down at me for being a pot-smoker.
They can go fuck themselves.
Its like everything that used to get me through life without hating people have been slipping away one by one. First it was video games.
Can you elaborate?
Then my ability to work a steady job.
This is definitely an issue. You have to come up with a way to support yourself. I am in a similar situation right now, where I have a sleep disorder and can't commit to early hours, and only have a 10 hour a week job. So, I understand that it can be really tough, but you have to come up with a creative way to beat this.
There are too many people in this world to get caught up on a few people who you don't click with anymore. The best thing you can do is just seek out new friends.
Now pot seems to be slipping away from me. If I wasn't going back to college again I would be completely hopeless and suicidal right now. I am also glad I found the forums here. thank god/whatever deity/energy force for that.
These forums are great, and I hope you get positive results from reading what has been said on here. There's a lot of good stuff.
I try to get physical exercise sometimes but its hard for me to want to go outside in 80 degree+ and high humidity. The only exercise I like to do is walking or running so I guess its my fault for being so closed minded about this. I spend so much of my effort trying to not project myself to the outside world as a negative person but it always backfires and I get depressed or pissed off and doing just that anyways. It doesn't help that it seems like alcohol is at the core of 90% of social interactions for people in their mid-20s. I find myself hating people more and more everyday. I don't know if its because deep down I just hate myself or if its just a bunch of bad past experiences combined with my bleak outlook on the world, lack of an outlet for me, and my extremely rare personality type. I feel like a lost cause and I hate not being able to overcome my extreme introvertedness anymore. I used to be better at it before I had too many bad experiences with people/ negative treatment by people. It seems like people are always looking down at me for being a pot-smoker. Its like everything that used to get me through life without hating people have been slipping away one by one. First it was video games. Then my ability to work a steady job. then my friends. Now pot seems to be slipping away from me. If I wasn't going back to college again I would be completely hopeless and suicidal right now. I am also glad I found the forums here. thank god/whatever deity/energy force for that.
. I'll know that I should go to sleep, but without anyone to make me, I sort of just stay up late.
