Seducer: liked or disliked

[Inappropriate Behavior]

Alright, man to man talk here:

Dude! Stop being such a wanker!

There, if that doesn't make you feel any better than nothing will. Seriously, you know what your problem is? You're 14! You're INTP in an ESxJ world! When I was 14 I felt that if I were dog shit, not even the flies would want to come near me. Like that dog shit, this too will pass my son.

Edit: Forgot to add, you're probably smarter than most of everyone else you know. It's hard to know what to do with that sometimes.

 

[Seducer of the Homeless]

strangely enough i was just listening to a song. lyrics = "thats what you get for being a wanker!". it hit home

i hate teenagers! and now i am one, dammit....

what to do with intelligence?: in this society, very damn little. those who don't know what animal 'Lamb' meat is from beating my scores on tests. (official tests, that is. designed around SJ not NF/NT.)

i feel kinda like the genius kid crushed by school (minus the genius part )

 

[brain enclosed in flesh]

Anthile gave you good advice. But it is hard to stop whining unless you find something else to distract your mind.

Your mind, I think, is not getting the stimulation and satisfaction it needs. So it is focusing on all of the bad and all of the wrong. Perseverating will not bring you the solution. What will bring you the solution is doing something only you can do. It's easy to complain about how much the world sucks and how misunderstood you are and all; now is the time to do something about it. I don't know what that is exactly, because I am not you. As I said before, it doesn't need to be something profound. Even geniuses start out wrong and small. Sometimes they go down the wrong path and get distracted. But they start, and they continue.

Extraverted intuition is great like that. For example, the other day my son wanted me to draw with him. At first I was hesitant because I haven't just sat down and drawn in forever. (It's something I spent hours doing as a child and teenager.) So I started with something obvious- a face- but then the face became linked to a plant stem and then it was on a breakfast table and it was telling a surprised man who was just about to drink his coffee and eat his croissant that he was the genie of the plant. Now I'm not saying that this is a great idea or anything, but it was fun and it got my mind working in different ways.

So I would say stop thinking the same negative thoughts over and over, try playing with your Ne and see where it leads you.

 

[Seducer of the Homeless]

i have decided i am going to write lots of music! yay!

i suppose not having freedom to be creative (school, homework, tidying ever messy room, and tearing myself apart) is a big problem. i am going to vent anything i think/feel into assorted dots on a page (although i kinda hate having to write down music, how limiting)

anyway, tis the plan

i have faith i am creative (well, 99% sure i am the most genuinly creative in my year, awful lot of people who, for whatever reason, want to be weird and different - but aren't.)

i am also going to draw a lot and keep a journal for thoughts

so....yay?!

 

[Toad]

at your age I wish I could have found a hobby or something that I was really interested in doing You should do the same.

 

[snowqueen]

i fear my inadequacy and inferiority are gripping my life. i cannot concentrate in school and it is becoming increasingly difficult to make decisions without feeling inadequate and stupid. if when watching a Murder Mystery and i miss a clue i feel like a part of me dies, in music i give a wrong answer i near enough cry and question if i am becoming stupider. i struggle with even basic decisions because of inadequacy. i genuinely feel inadequate with anything at school and am i think extremely scared of school work for this reason. i am extremely self-conscious about me and anything i do.

could i be getting less intelligent? (yes, EVEN less...)

Not less intelligent but there is lots of evidence about the changes the brain undergoes during adolescence and that some of the side effects are things like poor decision-making etc. So the good news is you don't need to worry - you'll grow out of it once your brain settles down! There is also evidence that this is exactly the time to be doing lots of the things which you would like to be doing when you are older.

My extremely intelligent daughter has become totally dippy over the past two years - she's just beginning to grow out of it now she's 16 and half. Sometimes I am awed by her total lack of common sense. But I have just ignored it and told her to concentrate on her school work and not worry. It seems to have worked.

right, 20 things....hmm.....without comparison to others......hmm.....
i will get it done

and once you've written those 20 things you should 3 examples of how this is manifested in your life for each of the 20 things.

 

[Seducer of the Homeless]

i couldn't get past 7/8....i was general, and stopped when i felt i was getting trivial or just re-wording.

which article? (second link)

 

[snowqueen]

i couldn't get past 7/8....i was general, and stopped when i felt i was getting trivial or just re-wording.

which article? (second link)

the interview with Jay Giedd.

 

[Seducer of the Homeless]

thanks

so basically i need to fill my brain replete with music, creation and intellectual stimulation in order to be smarter as an adult

unfortunately, school gets in the way of this! (how utterly stupid!)


so really, school is in fact making me dumber!

 

[cheese]

Soth, you're very like myself when I was your age. Some of the things you're saying I relate to completely. I don't mind having you around at all, and I understand at least part of what you're going through. Also I am seeing someone, starting tomorrow, for some related issues. I'm not sure if it'll be useful but I'll let you know.

To those who think he's merely fishing for compliments: I think it honestly isn't. It's part venting, part mutilation. When there's this much vulnerability and self-doubt it turns to loathing, which is manifested through self-harm (seemingly unbreakable and destructive cycles of causal and reactive insults and thought processes) and erratically truncated attempts to reach for human contact. The self-hate and emotional/mental confusion attempt to both express and correct, leading unfortunately to mutually reinforcing behaviours which merely exacerbate the problem. The stunted self can exercise only weak and sporadic discipline over these behaviours, so telling him to "get over it" is possibly not as helpful as you might imagine.

That might've all been bullshit, but whatevs.

Anyway soth, just remember that putting all your mental resources - whatever they are - towards repeatedly dragging yourself through the mud will achieve only that. Channel your energy towards something you enjoy. You might detest the results, but keep trying and you may end up with something you're proud of.

Also: man up and get over it you wanker.

 

[Seducer of the Homeless]

pretty much spot on



i do feel that. "get over it" works for a little but, i slap myself and carry on. then from nowhere comes an overwhelming sadness and self-doubt.

hmm...

oh, cheese. good luck

 

[brain enclosed in flesh]

Good, Soth, you seem a bit better. Just keep at it.

And I know what you're saying, cheese. I went through the whole anorexic/binge eating, drugs, alcohol, sex thing for that exact reason. Thanks to my not using my brain as I'm supposed to, I now have the diagnosis of bipolar and am supposed to be on meds for the rest of my life. But I have to say, being creative and using my brain and having a connection with others who also have brains and creativity (thanks intpforum) is more important than the meds. And if I would have paid more attention to this when I was younger, who knows if I would be on meds now.

People telling me to get over it never helped. They weren't in my head so they couldn't understand. If anything, it made me feel worse because everyone else knew what was right for me while I didn't, so obviously I was a dumb worthless idiot. In other words, it made me hate myself more.

But yes, soth, write music! I play guitar, too, and I suck but I don't care. Fear of failure kept me from doing it for thirty years, but then I started and I bash away at it and scream my lungs out and it's the best thing ever.

 

[Ermine]

Yes, creative outlets work wonders in that way. And I've found that hanging out with friends regularly helps you stop being so self pitiful. I know, it's hard to get to that point if you aren't used to it, but it's worth it.

 

[snowqueen]

thanks

so basically i need to fill my brain replete with music, creation and intellectual stimulation in order to be smarter as an adult

exactly!

unfortunately, school gets in the way of this! (how utterly stupid!)


so really, school is in fact making me dumber!

Not quite - I think the way school teaches and assesses makes you feel dumber! And if you rely entirely on school for feeding your brain you will end up dumber than if you don't.

You'll be fine

Here;s a little present for you: maddest site on the internet

 

[Seducer of the Homeless]

friends?!

aah, problems...

i am part of a misfit-ish group but don't go outside when i get out of school and often i take off from my friends to 'think' (the Science Labs are great for thought, usually quiet.
i spend a lot of time there on my own and the regular teachers frankly find me weird.
there is only one teacher i like, my science teacher. i wouldn't go to him for problems and stuff, he is a great teacher and treats me and my friends well, jokes with us (jokes the idiots don't understand) and we watch family guy and listen to Iron Maiden (he also gives us CDs/DVDs). BUT he is a Dr. House, so no agony aunt

 

[Seducer of the Homeless]

i feel this thread has created fresh dislike

 

[Beat Mango]

Well I think INTPs have a tendency to be too self-conscious, I know I am, always worrying if I'm liked or not. I wouldn't be feeding it by starting a thread and poll about it.

 

[Seducer of the Homeless]

sad, i know

 

[Beat Mango]

sad, i know

lol, I don't think it's sad personally. Counter-productive, perhaps. As I said in another thread, self-pity is my most commonly and strongly felt emotion. I like what someone else said in the "INTPs: disliked by other types?" thread, I think it applies in most situations: 15% like you, 15% don't like you, 70% don't give a fuck.

 

[Beat Mango]

Ok I just read the whole thread: the funny thing is Soth that you feel inadequate because you don't feel you have enough to contribute to the serious threads. Whereas my main thing recently has been getting up myself because all I can do is post in the serious threads! I am "serious" enough in real life, and when I come on here, I feel I'm too serious even for this place. Where does that leave me! I wish I could be non-serious and frivolous for a second but I am always pondering "ultimate things" which most people couldn't give an f about.

 

[brain enclosed in flesh]

^^ I hear that. Sometimes I feel I'm as dour as a puritan minister, even here.

 

[Ermine]

Really? I often go to this forum because I'm more frivolous and nonserious IRL, and need a community that will accept my serious thoughts without worrying about people telling me to stop being so serious when it's something I care about.

 

[snowqueen]

I'm loving the new Zappa avatar Sed.

 

[Seducer of the Homeless]

hahaha, thanks

 

[Beat Mango]

Really? I often go to this forum because I'm more frivolous and nonserious IRL, and need a community that will accept my serious thoughts without worrying about people telling me to stop being so serious when it's something I care about.

I was drawn to this forum because I looked at the what people were saying in the Philosophy section and thought, finally, people who get it! I always thought people in my philosophy classes were "too dumb" to understand anything but the truth is they just looked at things in a different way, they rarely saw the big picture in a way that I as an INTP did. In fact if I found this forum a few years earlier I probably would have never done a philosophy degree. Oh well.