Second Guessing?

[Awesome_Person]

Hey. Is it normal for NTs to be afflicted by non stop introspection, and a ridiculous amount of second guessing themselves?

Im an XNTP. This is because im not sure if im introverted or extroverted because i have depression issues, that depress my personality. Im leaning towards E, because i seem very intuitive when im not depressed. When i take a xanax, i start rapping, and building shit haha.

But my second guessing has become a subconscious process. When i try to come to a conclusion about who i am (ridiculous introspection), my brain automatically goes to this weird objective point of view, and criticizes me.

For example, ill be thinking, "hmm, this must be part of my personality"
Instantly my brain will literally say something like "stop being a bitch. You know your stupid, stop trying to act."

Its extremely frustrating, and happens whenever i try to explain my own behavior. Anyone else go through this?

Or anything good that i think about myself, my subconscious will instantly negate that, showing me people who are better at something than me, or telling me im wrong. Is this just depression?

 

[Dimensional Transition]

I'm not sure if it's normal for all NTs, maybe more just NTPs.

I know it's normal for me, at least. I do it all the time. I second guess my theories, my opinions, my personality, other's theories, other's opinions, other's personalities... I question myself, I question others, I question reality. It gets on my nerves. When I procrastinate for too long(like now) I start feeling really anxious and disconnected.

 

[Trebuchet]

Yeah, normal but not fun. If you find a way to stop it, please post it here.

 

[AlteramPartem]

Mindfulness: basically do anything (walk, staring at a rock or a fruit or what you are actually supposed to do...) while trying to maximize your focus (on sensory input or thoughts). It's like training a muscle, at first you might not be great at it but little by little it can help you "snap" out of a thought loop more or less easily (depending on the intensity and the hold of the emotions or thoughts).

Ultimately, it might help you realize that thoughts are just that (thoughts) and as you progressively believe that they are no more real or important or true than dreams (basically just a by-product of your brain and circumstances), you can clear up your mind and even do complicated things that require a lot of thinking without any "meta-thinking" getting in the way (e.g., "Why am I doing this right now?", "Is this really important?" etc).

In Hagakure, they evoke that idea by saying that you should do serious things lightly and unimportant things with concern. This is a parable about what mindful training looks like as well as the search for balance or ideal level of arousal/stimulation in order to function optimally.

At the higher levels of realization, mindfulness becomes a second nature which anchors you only to the present, in a calm and hard-to-disturb fashion (readings: Tolle - power of now, The mindful way out of depression, anything you can find about shamata or mindful breathing etc)