Saying goodbye

[A22]

When I'm with friends/family and I leave the party/event I always forget to say goodbye. I mean, I don't actually forget to do it, I don't even think about doing it, I just leave. IDK, I just never feel like I need to say goodbye, it never crosses my mind. I know it's kind of rude, but it's not like I'm doing it on purpose. Anyway, this is just a random thought I share with you because usually someone on the internet - usually in places like this - is just like me in some aspects.

Goodbye.

 

[420MuNkEy]

I feel the same about saying "Hello". It seems superfluous. I don't feel the need to verbally acknowledge the fact that I'm real and am addressing you. If I have something to say to someone, I approach them, wait for their attention, then I verbally transmit the message (and wait for a retort depending on whether or not it was a rhetorical statement).

 

[Jennywocky]

I originally would just kind of "vanish" as well. However, understanding how that is perceived by others (it conveys something I do not wish to convey), and how it can deaden/close off relationships that I want to maintain, I learned to force myself to be polite and say goodbye to people. At my recent class reunion, I even forced myself to go to the event organizer who I had communicated with to attend the event, and I hugged her and told her I was leaving and to thank her for all her hard work... just like many other people (well, at least the women!) had done. She seemed to appreciate it.

It was still uncomfortable, though.

 

[EditorOne]

I do that too. It makes me wonder if I'm secretly a Bokononist, the religion outllined in "Cat's Crade" by Kurt Vonnegut. A Bokononist believes many interesting things, but the epiphany here might be what a Bokonist says when committing suicide: "Now I will destroy the world." It conveys an implicit assumption that there really is no world outside our own mind. Not saying goodbye to friends might be a related thing.

Or, more likely, we just don't want to get all sticky with the emotional goo some people dribble all over goodbyes. "I just wanted to say goodbye, I didn't want to slimed."

 

[EditorOne]

Meanwhile A22, what IS that avatar? It is fascinating.

 

[Hammo]

I do this avidly. I'm the most reticent person I know and can be in entire social gatherings without saying anything at all. So I don't really see the need to start contributing to a conversation with "goodbye."

 

[A22]

Thanks for the answers, I'm working on my goodbyes lol.

That's really interesting, EditorOne, I guess it might be because of my introverted nature after all. My avatar is the picture on the Led Zeppelin II album cover:

Spoiler

 

[EditorOne]

D'oh. I shoulda remembered that one.

 

[Jennywocky]

I do this avidly. I'm the most reticent person I know and can be in entire social gatherings without saying anything at all. So I don't really see the need to start contributing to a conversation with "goodbye."

The invisible man. Do they notice you exist?

For a period of life where I didn't engage and was reclusive, I felt like people didn't notice me... like based on how I carried myself, I could walk down a street or being in a room and then leave, and no one would remember I was there. It's like I walled everyone off... avoided eye contact, no noise, inobtrusive.... and like a superpower, people just overlooked me. It's kind of an interesting experiment.

 

[A22]

For a period of life where I didn't engage and was reclusive, I felt like people didn't notice me... like based on how I carried myself, I could walk down a street or being in a room and then leave, and no one would remember I was there. It's like I walled everyone off... avoided eye contact, no noise, inobtrusive.... and like a superpower, people just overlooked me. It's kind of an interesting experiment.

I've done that, and the funny thing is I'd actually get angry when people noticed me. But that's not why I don't usually say goodbye

 

[lucky12]

I like to think of myself as the grey man, people I know can walk by me in hall ways and not even recognize me some days. I agree with all that has been said, I do force myself to use greetings/exiting statements.

 

[Symbiot]

Ah crap, I guess I do this a lot, especially at work. One of my bosses in particular makes it a point to say hello and goodnight whenever she sees someone show up or leave. It irks me and I rarely ever do this. I'm supposed to be here, I'm here. It's time to go home, I leave. It just seems so tedious and pointless to always say hello/goodbye. I have to consciously force myself to say goodnight.
I'm better about it in social situations, but still don't do it much. If I'm leaving, I will usually say "bye" to everyone as I'm off, but to hunt everyone down and tell them goodbye just so I can leave, and sometimes explain while I'm leaving... what a silly timewaster. I will have to try to remind myself that others could be affected by this.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Online I say "later" or "see ya", in-person or on the phone I always say "alright (then)". I rarely say "bye" which leads to some awkward moments when people are leaving. It's a social inadequacy thing, but I also don't like saying bye to people because I don't fully grasp their leaving and kind of expect I'll see them again some day.