Reincarnation

[Etheri]

Hai.

I'm Etheri. I'm a strange belgian. I've been here before, and I'm sure some might remember me (It wasn't all that long ago), but I've been gone for a while.

I'm back. I might stay, I might be gone again. I mostly left because I stopped thinking. I stopped thinking because I wasn't finding any answers, because I like it when my mind is quiet but mostly, or atleast recently, because I'm an addict.

Unfortunately, not thinking makes me stupid... So I have to get back to reality from time to time, do whatever everyone expects from me before I can retreat back to my imagination. And while doing that, I fall back into old routines. I've been routinely checking the forum the way I used to while knowing I've not been active at all. Figured I might aswell enjoy my stay, however short it may be.

I'd love to say anything interesting, but my mind is blank.

For any older peeps around, what have I missed? Any recent really good threads I should read?

Ask me anything, I won't bite.

 

[Thurlor]

Welcome back.

When you say you are an addict what do you actually mean? There are many levels and types of addiction in modern society ranging from the mundane (caffeine, shopping, internet, porn, sex, etc) to the more troublesome (hard drugs, etc).

Do you judge addicts in general to be 'lesser' and inadvertently apply this to yourself?

I have personally known two heroin addicts who were more responsible members of society than most non-addicts I know.

If the topic is painful for you please feel free to ignore me.

 

[Etheri]

Welcome back.

When you say you are an addict what do you actually mean? There are many levels and types of addiction in modern society ranging from the mundane (caffeine, shopping, internet, porn, sex, etc) to the more troublesome (hard drugs, etc).

Do you judge addicts in general to be 'lesser' and inadvertently apply this to yourself?

I have personally known two heroin addicts who were more responsible members of society than most non-addicts I know.

If the topic is painful for you please feel free to ignore me.

It's by no means painful. I didn't mean it pejorative, it's merely the reason as to why I was gone, and being sober for a couple of days is the reason I'm back.

Marijuanna, alcohol, whatever I can find that shushes my thoughts. Mostly weed. I'm not sure whether I'm addicted to marijuanna or afraid of sobriety, probably both.

Being an addict itself isn't problematic, it's merely the reason I was gone. I do wonder what makes me happier in the long run. Sobriety definitely makes me smarter, but being high allows me to be much happier (atleast whenever I am).

Imagine the ability to turn off those typical INTP thoughts at any moment through the day, every day. Would you use it? How late would you make it?

I've been using that ability pretty much every day for a good while. And now I've come to realise that as much fun as it is, it also makes me a rather dull person. No interesting thoughts, no developped opinions, no interests. It is as if I just decided to stop my development.

Tl dr; As with anything in life, it's not good, it's not bad, it's a little bit of both. I can't continue what I'm doing forever, but I don't regret doing it yet.

 

[Ex-User (9062)]

I stopped thinking because I wasn't finding any answers, because I like it when my mind is quiet but mostly, or atleast recently, because I'm an addict.

Can you elaborate on these points a bit more?

EDIT:
Okay, what is it you are trying to sedate?

PS:
Your signature - which one is correct?
Nothing is something worth doing.
Nothing is something worth doing.

 

[Etheri]

Can you elaborate on these points a bit more?

EDIT:
Okay, what is it you are trying to sedate?

PS:
Your signature - which one is correct?
Nothing is something worth doing.
Nothing is something worth doing.

I have no idea what I'm trying to sedate. myself? I'm not unhappy, and I wasn't either. Atleast not in a general sense.

As any INTP, I do / did spend alot of times thinking about questions that have no answer, or things that are completely out of my power. Ethics, religion, life, philosophy, whatever. Most of the time, I enjoy analytically cutting everything / anything into teeny tiny slices. Sometimes I don't.

Sometimes, I just want my mind to stop rambling about whatever is caught in its interest and just live. I am frequently awake until past 5 am with my mind stuck on something completely unimportant. When I'm high, I still think, but my mind doesn't get stuck. In fact I forget the majority of thoughts.

So when I am overthinking something mean a friend said, while I know they have no clue they even did that, I toke up and it vanishes from my mind.
Perhaps I'm considering inequality, or howmuch better the world could be, perhaps I'm dangling with ethics -again-. Would it be immoral to work for a major oil company? Would it be immoral to work for companies that caused huge amounts of pain? Define 'good'? I realise there's no objective answer to any of these questions, there's no 'end' to these thoughts, I can get bored of them, I can stop thinking them, I can fill them in subjectively, but there's no such thing as closure... So they come back.

As to my signature... Its the title of a song I love. It's also a trademark. My friends describe me as someone who does 'nothing' all day, but I don't think you can ever really do 'nothing'. In fact, doing absolutely nothing is incredibly hard. Always thinking or doing something, even if it doesn't appear as such.

To your question : It's both, but mostly the first. What my friends consider 'doing nothing' is very important and valuable to me. It's my INTP-alone time. The time to think, live, shine, ...
It's also the idea that activities aren't better than others just because society tells us so. I'm told gaming is a waste of time more frequently than I'd like to admit. Yet I know more about the lifestyle of the huns, mongols, chinese and korean from watching TV and playing videogames than from history classes. I know more about greek mythology from playing age of mythology and smite than from latin, greek, religion and history classes together.

Both of your options express the same idea, to me, that all activities are equally worthwhile / worthless. Especially doing nothing at all. Whenever you're doing nothing at all, the only thing you're doing is living.

 

[Ex-User (9062)]

Both of your options express the same idea, to me, that all activities are equally worthwhile / worthless. Especially doing nothing at all. Whenever you're doing nothing at all, the only thing you're doing is living.

Well, i guess when you have a second thought about this statement, you will realize it can't be true.
And maybe that's one root of your problems.
What is your enneagram type?
http://similarminds.com/advtest.html

 

[Etheri]

Well, i guess when you have a second thought about this statement, you will realize it can't be true.
And maybe that's one root of your problems.
What is your enneagram type?
http://similarminds.com/advtest.html

Why can't it be true? The emphasis from especially isn't meant as doing 'nothing' is more worthwhile than other things, but rather to stress that even doing nothing at all is on par with everything else. Any preferences are subjective, there is no objective way to call a certain activity more worthwhile than any other.

I'll do the test... (Goddamn there's alot of questions)

Edit : Results (relatively sober when doing the test)

Your main type is Type 5
Your variant stacking is sx/sp/so
Your level of health is above average

Your main type is which ever behavior you utilize most and/or prefer. Your variant reflects your scoring profile on all nine types: so = social variant (compliant, friendly), sx = sexual variant (assertive, intense), sp = self preservation variant (withdrawn, security seeking). For info on the flaws of the Enneagram system click here.

I have no idea what the variant stacking means. Appearantly I'm healthy, and as I've said I'm not unhappy or (too) dysfunctional. Underperforming a little, but I don't mind. Mind telling me what this tells you? haha

 

[Ex-User (9062)]

Why can't it be true? The emphasis from especially isn't meant as doing 'nothing' is more worthwhile than other things, but rather to stress that even doing nothing at all is on par with everything else. Any preferences are subjective, there is no objective way to call a certain activity more worthwhile than any other.

I'll do the test... (Goddamn there's alot of questions)

The test doesn't take long if you are in tune with yourself.
(Meaning, not to have to double-think the answer.)

But can me burning your house be equal to teaching poor children maths?

 

[Etheri]

The test doesn't take long if you are in tune with yourself.
(Meaning, not to have to double-think the answer.)

But can me burning your house be equal to teaching poor children maths?

The answers are edited into my previous post.

As to your statement, you presume I'll pick the teaching because it's meant to be an obvious choice but I honestly don't see it as such. If you're a pyromaniac, I can imagine burning down my house would be much more worthwhile than teaching anyone maths to you. It wouldn't be my choice, but who am I to say my ethics are right and yours are wrong? Others tell me what I do is a complete waste of time, I usually tell them to fuck off.

You see, this is why I desire a break of thinking after a while. Because I don't believe there's an objective way of saying burning down my house is worse than teaching poor children math. It's just a choice I hope nobody is willing to make. I can keep pondering on ethics, but there's no objective way. So I need to develop my personal opinion of what is more and less important, but that's not exactly simple either. And this cycle never stops.

I might want to add, these things may 'sound' problematic but I don't really see them as such, they're just minor annoyances, a part of life. This isn't a 'I need help' thread, it's just a 'hey guys, I'm back' thread.

 

[Ex-User (9062)]

the variant stacking is an indication of your priorities.

 

[Ex-User (9062)]

If you're a pyromaniac, I can imagine burning down my house would be much more worthwhile than teaching anyone maths to you. It wouldn't be my choice, but who am I to say my ethics are right and yours are wrong?

You see, this is why I desire a break of thinking after a while. Because I don't believe there's an objective way of saying burning down my house is worse than teaching poor children math. It's just a choice I hope nobody is willing to make.

Well, you would have to agree that pathological behaviour should not be the measure of "normal" behaviour...

I can keep pondering on ethics, but there's no objective way. So I need to develop my personal opinion of what is more and less important, but that's not exactly simple either. And this cycle never stops.

It's the same way as it is with the reason to live.
You can either construct a meaning which enables you to function,
or become a dysfunctional nihilist.

I might want to add, these things may 'sound' problematic but I don't really see them as such, they're just minor annoyances, a part of life. This isn't a 'I need help' thread, it's just a 'hey guys, I'm back' thread.

Okay. I wont bother you anymore.

 

[Etheri]

Well, you would have to agree that pathological behaviour should not be the measure of "normal" behaviour...



It's the same way as it is with the reason to live.
You can either construct a meaning which enables you to function,
or become a dysfunctional nihilist.



Okay. I wont bother you anymore.

In all fairness, normal is boring. I don't fancy striving for 'normality'... I'm aware it's rather cocky, but conformity bothers me, but I realise it's a necessary evil. We can't have extensive opinions about every subject, after all.

Yeah, meaning of life is another one of those. Lets say I do what I do because I enjoy it, I just do whatever I think will satisfy me most, trying to balance short and long term. Do I work hard and hope it satisfies me long term, or will that just give me more work and responsibilities? Do I get high and just forget about it all?

From the point of fun, who am I to judge a pyromaniac for doing the only thing that sets him off? I've used illigal drugs, society says I'm a criminal. I just think I'm curious. Who decides what is and isn't worthwhile? If we cannot do it objectively, then isn't everything equal unless in the eye of the beholder?